r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 19h ago
Reese Witherspoon Chosen as Jury Foreman After Jurors Thought She Went to Law School Because of Legally Blonde
https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/reese-witherspoon-jury-duty-mix-17635282.2k
u/DavyJonesCousinsDog 18h ago
Everyone should sit on a jury at some point. It really lowers your expectations about the level of information comprehension the average American is capable of.
Edit: Typo
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u/Mr_Baronheim 18h ago
My concern started when a coworker who was serving on a jury told me that in one case they couldn't decide on a verdict, but ultimately chose guilty because they found the defense attorney to be annoying.
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u/Dr_Insano_MD 17h ago
This is why when I get jury duty summons, I do not try to get out of it like most people seem to. I've yet to actually need to show up (I'm just on-call), but man, juries have someone's future or even life in their hands. I know if I were sitting in that defendant seat, I'd want the jury to take the matter seriously. So I should do the same.
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u/mavajo 15h ago edited 14h ago
I've been on two juries, and I'm grateful that I was on both. I was stunned both times during deliberations. Especially the second one. This was a man that sexually and physically assaulted his girlfriend, breaking her orbital bone, lacerating her spleen, strangling her until she passed out from oxygen deprivation - and then had sex with her again.
The jury was split 6/6 on our first vote. I couldn't believe it.
The wildest thing is that the jurors arguing the strongest for a Not Guilty verdict were women. They kept blaming her for it with the reasoning that if it was so bad then she should have left him. They basically accused her of just trying to get even with him and that they didn't want to "ruin his life" with a guilty verdict. Thankfully a woman in her 20s and a dad girl dad were sitting on either side of me, and the three of us agreed we were absolutely not changing our votes and would stay as long as it took. It bled into the next day, but eventually we got to consensus and found him guilty.
Turned out he had multiple prior convictions and had another unrelated case going on involving assault. Guy was a piece of shit.
But that experience reinforced for me the importance of having good people on the jury. Please folks, I know it's a burden and pain in the ass, but if you have a job or circumstances that allows you to do it - please do it. We gave that woman justice that day. But it very easily could have gone another direction.
The three of us stayed to hear the
verdict andsentencing. He got 25 years. The prosecutor came up to us afterwards and thanked us, because way too many guys like him get off.→ More replies (5)55
u/thetiredtypist 14h ago
The three of us stayed to hear the verdict
The other jurors could leave before the verdict was read?
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u/GoldenPigeonParty 16h ago
The more serious and logical you are, the less likely you are to be selected.
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u/Thechasepack 15h ago
I've found the opposite. Both sides typically think their argument is the correct legal argument so they want people to think logically and apply the law correctly.
I was in a jury pool for a women who killed her kid earlier this year (not in Massachusetts). Jury Selection questions from both sides were mostly about finding people who could evaluate the case based on the law rather than emotions (with added questions from the defense on how we feel about punishment for young kids).
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u/_thenational 14h ago
the only jury I've ever been on was a guy suing his car insurance company for whatever. a lot of the questions they asked us centered around whether we could be fair based on our past experiences with insurance companies. lots of people were like, no, obviously not, insurance companies have fucked me six ways from sunday. those of us who were a little less hostile got selected.
joke's on them though because the deliberations basically boiled down to "whether or not this guy is legally right is irrelevant, obviously the slimy insurance company is fucking him and he seems nice enough, let's give it to him"
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u/ecmcn 17h ago
I had the opposite experience. The cop in this drunk driving case would look at us in a certain way during his testimony and I couldn’t quite put my finger on what I didn’t like about him. Turned out everyone felt that way, and during deliberations one of the jurors said “he was… smarmy”, and everyone was like “yeah, that’s it!” But we all had to admit there wasn’t any reason to not believe him - the driver had clearly been drinking and there were weird things on the defense side, too. We voted guilty.
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u/RegulatoryCapture 15h ago
IMHO that's fair. The cop is a witness and his testimony is supposed to be evaluated by the jury. "I don't know why, but I just don't trust him" is fair enough. Or you can still trust him if there's other evidence that supports it.
But it is a dick move to apply that to someone's lawyer. Lawyer charisma absolutely matters, but their words are not evidence and you shouldn't be deciding based on whether you trust the lawyer. Lawyers aren't under oath, you shouldn't trust what they say.
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u/genericmediocrename 18h ago
I thought I would really like jury duty. Meet new people, get free lunches, sit in on juicy courtroom drama?
No, I wanted to hurl myself out of the window very shortly after starting. Like half of the other jurors were honest to God completely incapable of following directions and couldn't quite comprehend what their roles were as jurors, despite being told several times by the judge.
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u/jrzalman 17h ago
The pro tip is to volunteer to be foreman and you can guide the conversation and wrap things up in a reasonable amount of time. If you are in charge you can focus the conversation on the actual issues at hand and cut down on the wasted time. If you are just going to let the room run itself, you kind of deserve what you get.
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u/thrownjunk 16h ago
they simply won't seat me. I've showed up about 5 times. but voir dire usually has one side throwing me out.
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u/RobutNotRobot 14h ago
I've never been called for jury duty, but I'm guessing I'll get tossed when I respond to one of the questions with 'all cops are liars'.
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u/Yubat 18h ago
As a lawyer, I would love to be on one. Civil, criminal, whatever. It would be fun to really see it from the other side. Alas, any time I am up for a jury I’ve been screened out before the process finishes; once I made it to the final round of voir dire but got cut— I would have been juror #8 😔
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u/musicman835 18h ago
I’ve had attorneys from my office get on civil juries. But they’re tossed faster than spoiled milk for criminal trials.
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u/turquoiseblues 16h ago
Why don’t they want lawyers to serve on juries for criminal trials?
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u/musicman835 16h ago
Lawyers may end up influencing a jury, because the other jurors (as in this case) believe they know better and will go along with their decision.
Lawyers know the law and would be better about questioning evidence or questioning reasonable doubt, and push back on something they find circumstantial in deliberation.
Attorneys don’t want other attorneys auditing (for lack of better word) their trial skills.
They often won’t take other highly educated folks either, as they are more likely to have (and I don’t mean this in a negative way) better critical thinking skills and don’t just take what their being told as fact.
An aquittal in a criminal trial is final. They cannot be tried again.
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u/TBSchemer 18h ago
They always screen me out as soon as they hear I have a PhD.
You probably know this better than I do, but I believe lawyers deliberately try to craft a jury full of uneducated rubes who are easily manipulated.
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u/Yubat 18h ago
[u/SpockShotFirst](u/SpockShotFirst) explains it well, but I’ll add that attorneys generally want the case decided based on what they present and argue. They want narrative control. Those who bring relevant outside expertise add a new variable that the neither side can easily predict or control, so easier to dump that person than take on additional risk. Does that mean a higher level of rubes in the jury sometimes? It certainly can.
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u/bullitt-rider 14h ago
Agree to a point but I've had cases where the jury dynamic isn't as described... God forbid there be any large sporting events or TV series ending...
When the judge has to give strict directions on things like 'wearing a thong does not equate to consent' you do have to question if that's predictable and controllable or unsuitable
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u/SpockShotFirst 18h ago
Both sides can cut jurors. If one side benefits from educated jurors, the other side will try to keep them out. So it isn't that lawyers, as a monolith, "deliberately try to craft a jury full of uneducated rubes." It's just that chances are high that at least one side is counting on that strategy.
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u/ApprehensivePop9036 15h ago
"the problem with this case is you'd need to be a total idiot to accept these arguments from our side."
"We'll handle that in voir dire"
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u/forrealthoughcomix_ 18h ago
Damn. And here I am wanting to sit on a jury as an educated rube who is easily manipulated :(
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u/jrzalman 17h ago
I always hear this, usually like your story posted in a self-congratulatory way, but never really experienced it. I've been on like eight juries and get picked every time. I tell them I'm an aerospace engineer, answer all their questions well and always get picked.
Probably depends on the case but I think many lawyers are looking for jurors that can understand their arguments.
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u/newenglandpolarbear 17h ago
That's pretty much exactly it. Either that or they try to fill the jury with people they think will be sympathetic to their case. Both sides can do it.
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u/KellyCTargaryen 18h ago
Don’t give up hope! I worked for a trial lawyer professor, he confidently left for jury duty certain he would be immediately dismissed… one of the lawyers was his former student, so he was selected.
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u/Yubat 17h ago edited 17h ago
Lol holy hell. I’m shocked the judge and opposing counsel let that through. I’m amazed his former student was cool with it; I’d be on eggshells the whole time if I had to present a real matter to one of my former professors. Must have been interesting for everyone!
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u/Qalyar 17h ago
I'm a data analyst. Never made it past voir dire either.
I'm pretty sure whichever side has the weaker case always is motivated to cut people whose profession involves a lot of critical thinking (or outright legal experience). Objectively, I understand why that's the case. But I worry that it doesn't really represent a healthy outcome for our jury system.
Not that I've got any great suggestions on how to fix it; I'm just an analyst, it's someone else's job to action the problems! ;)
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u/Illustrious-Peace989 17h ago edited 17h ago
I found jury duty fascinating. It really showed me firsthand that the best thing you can do if you’re arrested is stay silent. One trial I sat on the case would have been extremely weak if not for the fact that the guy had to shoot off his mouth during the police interrogation and basically gave them the evidence needed to prove that he participated in the crime. Had he just shut up, the prosecution would have had a very weak case.
The other case I was genuinely shocked made it to trial because literally the only evidence that the prosecution had of the defendant’s guilt was the word of his alleged co-conspirator, who had already been convicted and when asked by the defense lawyer why he was testifying he said that it was because he wanted a shorter sentence. This was made even funnier by the fact that during both cases I was a juror on, the judge specifically said that if we don’t find a witness to be credible, we should disregard their testimony. We deliberated for less than 15 minutes before returning with a verdict of not guilty.
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u/cliff99 18h ago
The one time I sat on a jury my experience was the opposite of that. Pretty much as open a shut case as you can imagine (guy opened the door to some cops serving a warrant with a meth pipe sticking out of his shirt pocket) and we still spent a couple of hours discussing the case before we can to a verdict.
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u/TakeThreeFourFive 18h ago
I must have been lucky. I found myself on a jury full of people that I liked, that were thoughtful, empathetic, and were generally amenable to instructions. That empathy caused a bit of trouble when it came to deliberations at the end when one woman's feelings were causing her to get stuck, but we managed to get it sorted out
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u/UufTheTank 17h ago
Yeah, I wouldn’t say I was lucky (case was CSA), but the jurors were packed to the brim with engineers/doctors/accountants/professionals. People I’d trust to make the right decision. And we did (guilty). And I drank heavily afterwards.
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u/JustFuckAllOfThem 18h ago
I am not a lawyer, but I play one in a movie.
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u/reddituseronebillion 18h ago
I'm not a lawyer but I do specialize in bird law.
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u/Ok_Efficiency7245 18h ago
Tbf she'd at least have some exposure to the context where I assume most of those people have never been on a jury or in a courtroom for something like this.
She's obviously not an expert but I think just seeing her in that context predisposes them to deferring.
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u/Kewkky 18h ago
Remember, these people that take movies as sources of "factual information" have the same voting power as everyone else.
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u/ImpulseAfterthought 18h ago
Worse, they may decide whether you go to jail.
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u/Equivalent-Resort-63 18h ago
Been on a couple of juries and their level of stupidity is frightening. These people (‘your peers’) hold your life in their hands.
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u/Big1984Brother 18h ago
A lot of people who watch reality shows thought that Trump was a smart businessman IRL.
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u/HawkJefferson 18h ago
He wasn't even a smart businessman on the show.
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u/DanteandRandallFlagg 18h ago
As someone who has been on a couple of juries, I would have voted to elect her as foreman. The position only needs to have slightly above average public speeching skills. In fact, I would vote for nearly any theater major. I didn't want to do it.
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u/TheCheddarHole 18h ago
Remember, 54% of Adult Americans can only read below a 6th grade level. And they vote.
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u/brickyardjimmy 18h ago
Every day I get another clue as to why we're in the situation we're in right now.
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u/LLFD1982 18h ago
My thoughts exactly. "Successful businessman" on TV = President according to MAGAts. Can't tell fiction from non-fiction.
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u/Generation_ABXY 18h ago
"So you became an actor because you thought the monkeys were actually--"
"Riding horses? I did. Yes. When, in fact, they were simply acting as if they were riding horses. I still can't get my head round it, to be honest."
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u/Dsyelcix 18h ago
And these illiterate idiots decide who goes to prison and who walks free.
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u/Vironic 18h ago
They love electing celebrities for things without considering consequences or qualifications
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u/Mr_Baronheim 18h ago
And they love continuing to elect them even after seeing the horrible consequences and gross unfitness of those they elect.
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u/SubatomicSquirrels 18h ago
Well, reddit should probably stop teaching people how to get out of jury duty and treat it like, you know, a DUTY
Cause this is who we're left with to serve
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u/Regular_Use1868 18h ago
Man.... "Jury of your peers" has never seemed more terrifying than today and this was over a decade ago.
Were cooked guys.
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u/supercyberlurker 18h ago
In fairness Reese Witherspoon seems like a sensible person.
Our foreman didn't have legal experience, it's definitely not needed or important for the role.
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u/Lendyman 18h ago
Reese Witherspoon is highly intelligent and very accomplished both as an actress and as a business person. She briefly went to Stanford before leaving to pursue an acting career. So yeah, you could do a lot worse than Reese Witherspoon as a jury Foreman.
I do think that it's hard to believe that the entire jury thought she had legal training. It probably was one or two people and the rest voted for her because she was Reese Witherspoon. This type of story tends to get exaggerated in the retelling.
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u/elysian-fields- 18h ago
not only is it not needed or important for the role, most attorneys would never select someone who is an attorney for the jury due to their “extraordinary” understanding of laws, rules, and procedure and there is also, of course, the concern of undue influence on the lay members of the jury because of it
this headline lowk proves that exact point lol
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u/LeonardSmallsJr 18h ago
These people are our peers.
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u/OnceMoreAndAgain 17h ago
Let me aim that criticism back at you: You're my peer and yet here you are reading a suspicious headline and assuming it's true.
Did you even click the link and see that it is from https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/? The source of this story is Witherspoon who told the story while on the Graham Norton talk show. Don't you suspect she may have embellished the story for the sake of entertainment on the talk show?
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u/LeonardSmallsJr 17h ago
I deserve every bit of criticism. Graham Norton is where I get all my unbiased non-sensationalized news!
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u/Revoldt 18h ago
Same morons elected a president thinking he’s a successful businessman…
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u/MrMeowPantz 18h ago
She didn’t go to law school, but she did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
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u/TLRdidnothingwrong 18h ago
This is one of my dad’s favorite jokes. I don’t remember the commercials as well as he does, but at least twice a year he’ll say “Just tell them not to worry because you stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”
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u/Jump_Like_A_Willys 18h ago edited 17h ago
I mean, there's nothing wrong with choosing her -- with the understanding that she is the actress with no legal background -- as jury foreperson. She's probably at least as capable as another citizen juror. But it is troubling if they actually thought the actress went to law school because her character did.
That would be like think Tom Hanks would be a good airline pilot or Noah Wiley be a good ER trauma surgeon.
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u/TheBear8878 15h ago
I'm gonna call fake. I've been in two jury selection pools in Los Angeles in the last 5 years with celebrities, and both times they are dismissed very early on because they are well-known/distracting.
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u/NewToHTX 18h ago
I learned everything about legal proceedings from My* Cousin Vinny*, and then I found out that they actually show the movie to law school students as a way helping to explain court procedures.
Marisa Tomei was unbelievably hot in that movie.
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u/Overall_Occasion_175 18h ago
She is just as hot if not hotter as Aunt May in Spiderman. Woman has barely aged a day in 35 years, it's uncanny.
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u/ArgentineBeauty 18h ago
"The strangest moment came during the jury's deliberations, when the group needed to choose a foreperson. According to Witherspoon, the other jurors quickly decided that she should take the role. The actress found it odd why her fellow jurors would choose her among the rest.
When she asked why they had singled her out, their explanation left her stunned: they believed she had been to law school."
Worrying that a jury looked at Reese Witherspoon and thought “Legally Blonde” was a documentary.