r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 19h ago

Reese Witherspoon Chosen as Jury Foreman After Jurors Thought She Went to Law School Because of Legally Blonde

https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/reese-witherspoon-jury-duty-mix-1763528
25.2k Upvotes

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879

u/JustFuckAllOfThem 19h ago

I am not a lawyer, but I play one in a movie.

245

u/reddituseronebillion 19h ago

I'm not a lawyer but I do specialize in bird law.

98

u/Biblionautical 18h ago

Okay, well…filibuster.

29

u/JerryRiceDidntFumble 18h ago

CA CAW!!! CA CAW!!! CA CAW!!! (x1000)

2

u/OgOnetee 10h ago

And there's the probable caws...

1

u/rbrgr83 17h ago

But....I hardly knew her??

1

u/CLLycaon 18h ago

Filibuster? I hardly know er!

2

u/justmisspellit 17h ago

To be perfectly redundant…

3

u/No-Satisfaction9594 17h ago

Bird law isn't governed by reason.

0

u/namdonith 18h ago

r/BirdsArentReal and therefore bird law must be a scam

10

u/reddit_poopaholic 18h ago

🎵You're a crook, Captain Hook!🎵

7

u/Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin 17h ago

🎶Judge won’t you throw the book at this piraaaate🎶

23

u/Ok_Efficiency7245 18h ago

Tbf she'd at least have some exposure to the context where I assume most of those people have never been on a jury or in a courtroom for something like this.

She's obviously not an expert but I think just seeing her in that context predisposes them to deferring.

1

u/chilari 13h ago

I mean her exposure to the context is via a script written by someone who was not a lawyer, other actors who are not lawyers, set dressers who are not lawyers, directed by someone is not a lawyer and whose goal is to tell a compelling story that people will pay to watch, not legal realism. It's no more experience of the legal profession than someone who watched LA Law, Boston Legal, or hey, even Daredevil.

1

u/gsfgf 3h ago

However, My Cousin Vinny is surprisingly accurate other than when necessary for comedic value. We definitely watched it in law school.

15

u/itsaconspiraci 19h ago

And got paid more than the one who actually earned a degree.

3

u/jtbeith 16h ago

However I did watch Matlock in a bar last night.  The sound was off, but I think I got the idea.

7

u/jakestjake 19h ago

IANALBIPOIAM

7

u/Krusty_Double_Deluxe 18h ago

I love this, the original saying is “but I play one on TV” or IANALBIPOOT

1

u/JustFuckAllOfThem 15h ago

I ANAL BI POOT...

2

u/shart-gallery 18h ago

I play a millionaire at parties! At least, I’d like to.

2

u/svh01973 18h ago

I hope you stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

2

u/musicman835 18h ago

If the lawyers thought she was she would have been removed in Voir Dire asap. They don’t want any actually knowledgeable people on a jury, at least for a criminal case.

1

u/The_One_Koi 18h ago

I'm not a player, but I law one in a movie

1

u/forrealthoughcomix_ 18h ago

I may be a simple country Hyper-Chicken but I know when we're finger-licked.

1

u/brittneyacook 18h ago

She wasn’t even a lawyer in the movie 😭 unless you’re counting the sequel

1

u/JustFuckAllOfThem 15h ago

I did say a movie...

1

u/EJoule 18h ago

You might be overqualified for the position of foreman.

1

u/lostcartographer 16h ago

A single female lawyer?

1

u/Antoinette-O-Lind 16h ago

Wait until they find out Bryan Cranston isn't actually a chemist.

1

u/thirtyseven1337 15h ago

acting.gif

1

u/railbeast 15h ago

I am not a genius that's always right, but I played one on a show once and then I got elected president because people thought I was a genius that's always right.

1

u/parking_pataweyo 14h ago

"I used to be a doctor, for pretends."

1

u/Cmdr_Nemo 12h ago

What, like it's hard?

1

u/cp314159 7h ago

I’m not a lawyer, but I watch “Law & Order” religiously.

1

u/mashbrowns 4h ago

But I play one in real life.