r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 19h ago

Reese Witherspoon Chosen as Jury Foreman After Jurors Thought She Went to Law School Because of Legally Blonde

https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/reese-witherspoon-jury-duty-mix-1763528
25.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

48

u/Vio_ 18h ago

Every time I've had jury duty, I've been horribly sick.

Not "cough cough I'm dying pa from the black lung" excuse.

First time I had walking pneumonia.

Second time, I had the three-month influenza.

Anyway, I have a master's degree in forensic anthropology in international genetics where I researched forensic abuse, corruption, and incompetence.

They'll never take me as a juror lol.

7

u/GreenIvyLace 18h ago

That’s a badass sounding degree and if you don’t mind sharing, I’d love to hear more about your work.

2

u/Prometheus720 17h ago

Oh my god. I hate this timeline

1

u/RegorHK 16h ago

That sounds like some defense lawyers would be exited to have you, yet you can expect the persecution to shoot you down.

1

u/pookiemook 11h ago

Why fake illness if they wouldn't take you on anyway?

1

u/Vio_ 11h ago

No, I really was sick both times.

1

u/pookiemook 11h ago

Ah, I did not get that (obviously). Thanks for clarifying

1

u/turnitwayup 15h ago

Lol I have dual master degrees, works at the county & they did left me on the jury once I got anonymous sat. They didn’t ask me a single question after the introduction question list (age, occupation, education, hobbies etc…) At least I was able to use my employee badge to get in the courthouse. That door was closest to the jury elevator.

0

u/HIM_Darling 13h ago

I also work at the county. Didn't get picked but was there an hour past close of business. We spent like 5 hours doing voir dire where the questions seemed to revolve around "what is the deeper hidden meaning of possession of a thing".

From what I could tell it was a "someone else shat in my pants" scenario where the drugs were in his pocket but he was arguing that didn't meet some philosophical definition of possession.