r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 19h ago

Reese Witherspoon Chosen as Jury Foreman After Jurors Thought She Went to Law School Because of Legally Blonde

https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/reese-witherspoon-jury-duty-mix-1763528
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1.4k

u/Kewkky 19h ago

Remember, these people that take movies as sources of "factual information" have the same voting power as everyone else.

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u/ImpulseAfterthought 19h ago

Worse, they may decide whether you go to jail.

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u/Equivalent-Resort-63 19h ago

Been on a couple of juries and their level of stupidity is frightening. These people (‘your peers’) hold your life in their hands.

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u/philman132 18h ago edited 17h ago

Strong argument for why many Western countries got rid of jury trials decades ago.  They are not common in countries without British or commonwealth heritage at all.

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u/Hotshot2k4 18h ago edited 18h ago

That's literally not something that happened, unless you consider South Africa alone to be "many Western countries". And the reason they got rid of them is very peculiar too.

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u/AnonymityIsForChumps 17h ago

Jury trials aren't a common part of civil law systems, which is what most of the world uses. It's either just a judge or sometimes a mixed tribunal of judges and jurors. Basically the entire world except places with British heritage uses a civil law system.

Now, that doesn't mean that places are getting rid of jury trials (except South African which partially stopped using their British style common law system) but it does mean that most countries never had them in the first place.

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u/philman132 17h ago

Most of Europe doesn't have jury trials

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u/Hotshot2k4 16h ago

Indeed, but that's not because they "got rid of jury trials decades ago". In most of Europe, they never had jury trials in the same way they do in the US and the UK.

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u/philman132 15h ago

It's a technicality, I've updated my original comment

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u/Hotshot2k4 14h ago

I could say you no are no longer infected with genital warts, and if you responded that you never had it, then the distinction isn't really important. Is that about right?

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u/philman132 13h ago

I feel the main point has gotten lost in wordy semantic weeds a bit here. The point was that jury trials are not a gold standard and in fact are not common across the world except in former British colonies. Whether that is because those countries never had them, or got rid of them doesn't really take away from that.

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u/donny_pots 17h ago

I mean you can request a bench trial in the US

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u/wayoverpaid 18h ago

The only good argument I can make for a jury trial is that the people should be able to render a rare verdict of "To apply the law in this manner would itself be unjust"

I know we have jury nullification but I'd rather that be an explicit case, possibly to trigger a "Yo Congress what the fuck, fix this shit" response.

I don't see how that actually works in the USA but forcing Congress to affirmatively vote "Yeah this punitive law where you have to pay millions for downloading a movie or go to jail for non violent possession of drugs" every time a jury revolts would be the dream.

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u/happytree23 17h ago

The fact that you're getting upvotes is terrifying lol

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u/fishpen0 16h ago

Worse worse, the jury selection process favors these people and weeds out anyone asking smart questions by design

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u/Big1984Brother 18h ago

A lot of people who watch reality shows thought that Trump was a smart businessman IRL.

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u/HawkJefferson 18h ago

He wasn't even a smart businessman on the show.

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u/Hortos 18h ago

To you, to someone less intelligent than him he probably looked amazing.

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u/jxj24 18h ago

People respond to confidence more than competence.

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u/fattycans 17h ago

This is a hard truth

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u/bfodder 18h ago

to someone less intelligent than him he probably looked amazing.

They both found him to be extraordinary.

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u/MadRaymer 16h ago edited 15h ago

That's the neat part: most of them didn't even watch the show. Its ratings weren't great. But they were aware of the show and assumed that if he had a show doing businessman stuff, he must be good at it.

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u/aksdb 14h ago

And even if he was the most gifted businessman in the world, he wouldn’t be automatically qualified to lead a country. A national economy isn’t a business. Both have to do with leadership and money, but the rules and conditions are completely different. Partially even the opposite.

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u/Fryboy11 14h ago

Yeah, but he didn’t speak live or have access to twitter so the editors could at least cut out his word vomit and random tangents. 

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u/Novaer 15h ago

Trump himself is acting like this entire presidency is just an action movie that he's starring in. And everybody is letting him Segal his way through the presidency so that they keep getting paid.

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u/DanteandRandallFlagg 18h ago

As someone who has been on a couple of juries, I would have voted to elect her as foreman. The position only needs to have slightly above average public speeching skills. In fact, I would vote for nearly any theater major. I didn't want to do it.

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u/AipomNormalMonkey 16h ago

public speeching skills.

oh no

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u/DanteandRandallFlagg 12h ago

Like I said, there is a reason I don't want to do it.

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u/TheCheddarHole 19h ago

Remember, 54% of Adult Americans can only read below a 6th grade level. And they vote.

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u/Xregion 17h ago

I saw Project Hail Mary in theaters and a lady wouldn't shut the hell up behind us. After the movie my wife heard her in the bathroom describing the movie as "very informative on recent events"

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u/liberty 17h ago

Remember, most of you here are taking what a celebrity has said in an entertainment interview as a source of "factual information."

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u/Kewkky 16h ago

Agreed, but I'm not making any assertions other than "people who use movies as factual information have the same voting power as everyone else", which is easily proven true. I'm not arguing anything else other than that.

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u/oldwhiteoak 18h ago

Alot of the public does, actually.  Most think that Bruce Lee is some ultimate martial artist

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u/MrWally 16h ago

Man, I had such a different experience. I was on a six week murder trial and I genuinely felt like my fellow jurors were amazing. We spent a full day and a half to liberating, and people were thoughtful, careful and working through the law and the nuances of the case, really took it seriously, and they were all in good spirits considering the context…. There is really only one guy who seemed uninterested and didn’t want to be there, but he didn’t cause any issues, he was just bored.

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u/chucktheninja 15h ago edited 9h ago

Actually, if they live in low population states, they have more voting power than someone who lives in a high population state due to the existence of the senate and the representative limits in the house.

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u/l8578zlxicv 16h ago

Deeply paraphrasing Uta Hagen here:

People get so upset with actors and Hollywood but critically ignore politics and business because they truly believe hollywood run the world. If you want to work in the entertainment industry be prepared to face raving lunatics who think you are in the illuminati despite you scraping by paycheck to paycheck. And despite the fact that these people, by their own admission, watch hours of apparent illuminati propaganda a night on their TV.

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u/-im-your-huckleberry 16h ago

The best argument against democracy is made by spending five minutes with the average voter.

Think about your experience with a person of average intelligence, and then remember that half of the people are dumber than that.

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u/academiac 15h ago

Case: Reese Whitherspoon vs. Reese Without her spoon

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u/SquarePegRoundWorld2 14h ago

They are in positions of power like that one guy that posted pics from the movie Predator and said that was what our army used to be. The mental health crisis in this country starts with these people.

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u/Hamster_S_Thompson 11h ago

The apprentice show is the reason that cretin was elected twice.

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u/Bignate2001 8h ago

If they live in Wyoming and you live in California, they actually have 3.5x your voting power.

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u/jockfist5000 18h ago

They’re literally deciding someone’s fate

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u/AContrarianDick 19h ago

This kind of comment gets posted a lot on here so, what's the endgame by saying that? Is there a solution you're proposing or what? 1/3 of the country doesn't vote as is, how do you know they're not that group? Like what value is being added here? "Half of people are dumber than the average person" type shit is this?

So what's your solution? What are you advocating for here with that statement or is it just "making people aware"?

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u/devonondrugs 19h ago

This is a message board... Not everything has to have an end game But I think you're proving alot of people's thoughts here

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u/AContrarianDick 18h ago

It is a message board, sure. But how many times does "...and these people can vote" really need to be hammered home as if people are all just legitimately knuckle dragging fucking idiots 24/7? I work with people who have PhDs who can't figure basic processes, basic functions, can't google shit to save their lives, but we tout these people as the end all be all in terms of intelligence in our society, as if they just do smart shit all the time. People can be damned good at something and ignorant in another field and it not be the deciding factor in their intelligence.

But more to the point, who's just now discovering dumb people vote? In 2026, in America? Like who the fuck is that some news flash for? Who has not connected the dots between the last 10 years of this country and ignorant people making their voices heard? And you know who let that happen? The implied "smarter" people in this context. Twice. So who's the fucking morons here?

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u/iamapizza 19h ago

Not every statement needs to be accompanied by a solution. People are free to make observations. 

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u/AContrarianDick 18h ago

The solution is implied. It's implied and tiptoed around, but it's there.

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u/MCbrodie 19h ago

Said by a contrarian dick.

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u/AContrarianDick 18h ago

Uh yeah no shit. I guess you're one of the smart ones.

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u/AnonymousFriend80 18h ago

Personally, I don't think everyone's voice deserves to be heard, nor should they be deciding the future of a country, let along an individual's person fate. In order to vote or serve as a juror, you should have to pass a competency exam.

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u/AContrarianDick 18h ago

So what's the solution for those who fail your test? A slave class to serve the smarts? Maybe we just corral them into camps until a later solution can be devised? What if you wind up being deemed as "incompetent", would you be okay with just enduring whatever comes next? Say what you will but people who have an erroneous conclusion in one particular area of all of life still have a right to have a say in how their futures will be run all the same as anyone in MENSA does.

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u/AnonymousFriend80 17h ago

Should the smart people be slaves to the uneducated whims of idiots? Why should we listen to idiots on very important matters anyway? Do you go seeking the council of the village idiots in regards to your healthcare? If cutting off a third of the population to make sure we don't get another Trump in office, it would be worth it. Even if I myself might not make the cut of having an influence.

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u/TunaNoCrust811 18h ago

Cognitive test for voting.

Must be able to read posts on a message board and understand them as people simply voicing their opinions.

You just failed.

Sorry.

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u/AContrarianDick 18h ago

And I'm out here saying some dumb shit but what the fuck was that? I'll chalk that one up to sounding better in your head than it does written out.

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u/OperativePiGuy 18h ago

I appreciate your commitment to your username bit. It's well done.

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u/AContrarianDick 18h ago

I'm just a person trying to keep the old reddit traditions alive.

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u/exintel 18h ago

People: we want Democracy!

Democracy: ok, all uneducated people get to vote and sit on jury.

People: Fuck

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u/AContrarianDick 18h ago

Unfortunately it is a live by the sword, die by the sword situation. Even in an educated society, there will still be people who fail to grasp certain concepts and ideas comparatively to their peers.

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u/forrealthoughcomix_ 18h ago

And this comment gets posted a lot in response.

So what’s your solution? What are you advocating for here with that statement or is it just “making people aware”?

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u/AContrarianDick 18h ago

Touche man. Got me on that one. I can appreciate the old Uno reverse.

Get involved with schools and mentoring. Can't fix intelligence, but we can address ignorance. Some people are not going to learn the same, not going to make the same connections and all that with information and that's perfectly acceptable and fine in it's own right. But we're seeing a massive decline in critical thinking across the board, but more pronounced in the younger generations and they are not coming out of the schools with strong foundations. So if we don't want people to be completely ignorant, emotional creatures who take superficial information at value, then others need to step in and help out. More connection with more people helps. Right along with our loss of critical thinking goes our human relationships. I believe fixing those things would do a great deal to address siloed ignorance across a lot of strata and social groups. And that starts with the youngest of us and it's very much a practice of planting trees you'll never sit in the shade of for the betterment of future generations.

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u/forrealthoughcomix_ 17h ago

Good stuff. And I personally am involved heavily in education. Hope you are too.