Growing up as a woman in your early 20s is difficult in a very specific way: you are constantly reminded of your biological clock and told, directly or indirectly, that “women expire at 30.” It creates this strange pressure to think about marriage and children while you are still trying to figure out who you are and what kind of life you want to build.

I’ve noticed that some of the Christian men I’ve encountered tend to have a more red-pill mindset, particularly when it comes to having an overly traditional marriage (which I don’t think is that feasible in 2026). At the same time, I know I need to focus on building a career and creating a life that I can provide for myself, rather than relying on the possibility that a man will eventually give me the life I want. There is always a chance I won’t get married, and I don’t want my entire future to depend on whether or not that happens.

What makes dating especially exhausting is that I’m only 22, yet I already feel tired of it. I’ve gone on dates with men who were attractive, genuinely interested in me, and wanted to take me seriously, only to find out that they weren’t Christian. Meanwhile, the Christian men I’ve met were kind of incels that don’t have much going for them besides their faith, and I simply haven’t been attracted to them.

And I’m really not that picky about looks. My friends make fun of me because I have a history of dating objectively medium-ugly men. But I do think there needs to be some level of physical attraction. I don’t need a man to be conventionally handsome, but I would at least like to look at him and feel sexually drawn to him. That doesn’t seem like an unreasonable thing to want.

I’m just hesitant about marriage. Why should I want to marry a Christian man who can’t realistically provide enough for a household on one income, meaning I’d also have to work and contribute financially, while still being expected to cook, clean, and have his children? I don’t blame men entirely for this. the economy is brutal, housing is expensive, and wages haven’t kept up, so I can understand the pressure men feel to provide. But I also don’t know if I can sign up for a marriage where I’m expected to be traditional as a wife while simultaneously needing to work because one income isn’t enough. I don’t know how to go about this.

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I have always believed in a pre tribulation rapture...i follow all news ...especially all going on in middle east and Isreal currently..let alone all the chaos and sick ways many are living...yet and still as months pass by and we are still here...wondering if i am only pre trib rapture believer...questioning if i need to now consider midtrib rapture?

I do not believe as christians being the " bride of Christ" we are destined to Gods wrath...and that is exactly what the tribulation is...Gods wrath upon this sick sinful world.

I am trying my best to hold on..through all of this....i am sooo ready to leave this world and be with Jesus!

Please be kind when responding i understand we all may have different views.

Need insight and encouragement please.

God gave me a receding hairline as a woman. I used to be okay and have hope with it but it’s so noticeable that everyone around me stares at it. I used to really feel so connected to him but I’m convinced that he hates me. As a man I would get it, but as a woman, I literally look horrible. My hair keeps falling out and I’ve prayed and trusted him and don’t know what to do anymore, so it’s left me here. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything but I really do feel like I’ve gotten to a point where I have no hope anymore

I type this in response to John 6.

I am confused by what the Eucharist and transubstantiation implies.

Though Methodist do not believe in the transubstantiation, is it wrong that I personally believe that when I take communion I am eating and drinking the actual body and blood of Christ?

At least in my heart?

I think the old picture of Judaism as a religion of legalism, merit, and works-righteousness is historically unconvincing. It was based on a distorted view of Second Temple Judaism and made Paul look like someone who left a failed Jewish system for a religion of grace.

Covenantal nomism corrected much of this, although it now seems too uniform to capture the diversity of Jewish thought at the time. Paul is better understood as a Jewish thinker arguing within Judaism about Torah, Israel, the nations, and the messianic age.

“Works of the law” should not be reduced exclusively to ethnic boundary markers, but neither does the phrase support the old idea that Paul was attacking a Jewish system of earning salvation through moral effort.

I think the familiar contrast between Jewish legalism and Christian grace is simply the wrong framework for reading Paul.

Some great books I would recommend on this topic are:

1. Paul and Palestinian Judaism: A Comparison of Patterns of Religion (1977)
   by E. P. Sanders

2. Paul, the Law, and the Jewish People (1983)
   by E. P. Sanders

3. The New Perspective on Paul: Collected Essays (2005)
   by James D. G. Dunn

4. The Theology of Paul the Apostle (1998)
   by James D. G. Dunn

5. Paul and the Faithfulness of God (2013)
   by N. T. Wright

6. Perspectives Old and New on Paul: The “Lutheran” Paul and His Critics (2003)
   by Stephen Westerholm

7. Paul and the Gift (2015)
   by John M. G. Barclay

8. Paul within Judaism: Restoring the First-Century Context to the Apostle (2015)
   edited by Mark D. Nanos and Magnus Zetterholm

I was single for a long time (30f), when I got together with my bf he had been out of AA and stopped using substances for a year, he said he wanted a relationship with God, never wanted to touch alcohol or substances again. So at first it all seemed good… I had to leave the state to be with my family because of an emergency and I ended up having to stay away longer than I thought… part of me wonders if that was Gods plan to reveal all this to me. He knew when we got together I’m a Christian and I wouldn’t want any of that in my life but I gave him a chance because he seemed sincere at the time and I guess I hadn’t been with anyone in a long time.. I think part of this is a fault of my own wisdom too. We were together almost 2 years now he admitted since I’ve been gone he drinks and smokes again. Something I never wanted in a relationship of mine. He says it’s because it hurts that I’m gone, but that doesn’t seem like a good excuse because even if I was there eventually something would have caused him to want to drink… the kicker is he admitted a month ago that he hated church and didn’t like Christian religiosity and didn’t want to be a Christian anymore (now I think that was also a cover for what was really going on). Anyway I don’t have the energy to type anymore but I made a mistake, I wondered why there were so many delays in getting back to him but maybe God wanted me to see these things… I did pray about it. I just feel stupid for my age or maybe I was a little too hopeful or desperate. He told me he’d marry me, I fell for that and here we are.

Hello, first of all I will say that I am not religious. But I was having some more theological questions about life of christians and their interpretations of certain norms in the Bible. And what beter way to discover this than to ask the specialists, right?

Forgive me if I take some things outside of context or make an assumption too fast, english is also not my first language so ignore the spelling errors.

Right now on my feed and trough contact with christian people I know I get the feeling that people are using the Bible to commend certain behavior, lifestyles and or orientations in the life of others.

I was wondering what the norms are inside the christian church about "judging" others. I was thinking that God, who is a universal deity would be enough to make the judgement. If I where to be Christian, I would have no moral problems with how other people behave as I know that judgement will be upon them. If this was the case for me I wouldn't waste time on trying to deny those choices.

For example: A woman wants to get an abortion. I am christian and for me that is not okay, but I know already that if she sins then God will be the one to judge.

So I get that the phrasing of my question can seem like critique on your religion, but it is not meant that way. As you probably have noticed, my views are already set and it is difficult for me to change perspectives.

I would like to get a perspective from what the Bible says in this regard, and how this is interpreted and implimented to daily life.

Thanks!

For about a week or so random thoughts about doing sexual things with my sister started to pop up in my head ive already had about 2 dreams or so about doing it, everyday is a ticking time bomb that feels like it could go off at any second.. im still so young and this is something i do NOT want to do but it feels like theres something forcing me each day to try and do it and its gotten very very close. I need some advice on what i should so i feel ashamed just by thinking about it and when i do get close to wanting to “attemp” to do something with my sister its like im a whole nother me like im not in control. Maybe i need to find a partner at a young age to fulfil my desires or thoughts i just need help.

So i have recently been inquiring about more denominations and started reading Institutes of the Christian Religion, and i have a question, i come from an orthodox background and i might have some assumptions here, so i am sorry but when he talks about the unforgivable sin he says it is blaspheming against the Holy Spirit with pure malice right? But his explination is quite brief so i have to ask here, and i am sorry because i think this question is often asked here by people with anxiety, so can someone who has dome this desire God or want to repent? Have i missed john calvin talking more on this?

Hello Reddit,

I could really use some guidance and prayers if you can. I am currently experiencing a huge amount of doubt of Gods existence and lack of faith recently.

Sorry if this may drag out, but I figure you guys may need some clues into how this came to be. This was also posted in the Christianity subreddit just in case you see it there as well.

I am 28 years old and have always believed in God. My family didn’t really go to church or anything, but I have always had some amount of faith. I was basically raised by a single father (kind of a long story regarding my mom). He is my person if that makes sense. He is my best friend and someone that I spend a lot of time with. I also have experienced major bouts of anxiety and on occasion depression since I was in middle school. My anxiety causes me to freak out on a subject and then I feel the need to research as much as possible to make myself feel better, but then it brings up something new for my anxiety to cling to to where it is a never ending cycle of anxiety and research. 

 I was actually saved and gave myself to Jesus Christ two years ago and I felt a huge dose of faith and warmth, I felt God would always be with me. It was until I started to develop anxiety over sinning/ the afterlife that I fell into basically the status of lukewarm. I no longer did much in the way of Christ except prayed occasionally (this is fully my fault). That brings me to what is going on for the past week.

In the past few weeks, I have been surrounded by death, both in the media and a few around me such as coworkers and family friends family. This caused my anxiety to ramp up regarding health, death, and the afterlife, mainly regarding my dad since he is currently getting tested for some major health issues that he has been experiencing. I was able to calm this slightly by my emergency medication and thinking that I would still get to see him in the afterlife, until my intrusive thoughts kicked in. I started to think “what if there isn’t an afterlife or a God, that it’s just something we have used to make ourselves feel better” and I went into a crazy spiral.

I spent the better part of the week in an anxiety spiral in constant research and anxiety over trying to get evidence of God. I’ve looked at all the evidence that I could fine ranging from historical, archeological, and scientific/physics theories and it make me feel better at times, until I would see it potentially being explained or critiqued or a different point of view. All of this has caused my doubt to exponentially increase while wavering my faith. I still hold onto believing in quite a bit of the evidence I have found. I go through times telling myself ‘what am I doing, I believe in God it’s just what makes sense to me” until my intrusive thoughts start spiraling out of control. I don’t want to lose my faith, I do feel I still believe in God, but I feel empty inside like he isn’t with me anymore or completely silent, not how I’ve felt previously when I have thought God was beside me. Is this spiritual warfare going on? Why am I experiencing all of this fear, anxiety, and doubt over something I have known to be true? I would love some guidance and prayers if possible and if that’s ok. 

I will say one good thing has came out of this. This has caused me to try and apologize to God and start trying to follow him to see if I can build my faith back up. I started praying every night, I actually started a prayer journal to talk to God and ask for his help through this time with my faith and my families health…I hope he will listen and answer my prayers if it’s in his will. I started to try and silence my mind too to try and hear his voice. I plan to start going to Church and try reading the bible as well. Any guidance and prayers you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much. 

Hi, loves.

I feel mildly anxious posting this because I have tried to ask Christians before and some of them were just so hostile and shoved the same generic stuff down my throat.

I have tried Christianity in the past and it’s never really stuck. I (21F) am autistic and I’m very, very literal. I loved studying the Bible, I’ve always loved to analyze things, and so highlighting and colour coding and Bible studies, all of that was really fun to me. Until I learnt that a lot of the Bible is metaphorical and parables and a lot of things in the Bible aren’t actually exactly how it happened.

I don’t want to come across as insensitive, I apologise if I’ve articulated that wrong.

I was sexually abused as a child by my father who claimed to “love Jesus” and the thought of even acknowledging a god that he ‘adored’ makes me want to vomit. I feel a lot of hatred and resentment towards the Christian community, which I don’t feel particularly nice saying because, even if I know that there are Christians who are genuinely nice and sweet, I also know there are a lot of truly awful people who weaponise religion or use it as an excuse or shield for their own shame, and my brain can’t let that go.

I feel very lost in my life right now, and I have for a long time. I don’t have any friends at all, I’m almost completely isolated due to a massive autistic burnout and severe skill regression when I was about 16 (I lost my ability to do anything, I couldn’t care for myself and I’m only just learning how to actually do things again).

I’ve always liked the idea of a god. I remember very vividly, many years ago, I found a slug egg and I could see this little baby slug moving around in the egg, and it changed something in me because I knew I couldn’t deny the existence of SOMETHING. It was really beautiful.

However, any time I try to do Christianity, it’s like all of my trauma comes rushing back. I feel angry again or I read something in the Bible that hurts and I just become quite nasty. I say awful things to people, I mock other Christians. And that’s not… me. I’m not like that, it’s only when I go to god. I heard someone say once that Satan, or the enemy or whatever you want to call it, never attacks someone who doesn’t believe, so I don’t know if there’s actually some sort of spiritual warfare (and I feel really dumb saying that, because does that even exist??) or maybe just my trauma/nervous system.

I just feel this tug, and I feel really embarrassed posting this. I don’t want to hear “Jesus loves you” or “he made you for a reason”. I want to hear your stories, your own personal reasons or experiences. I want to know why you went to god, and if it changed your life. I’m just a bit sick of being force fed “Jesus made you for a reason and he loves you” as an answer. I guess I just want to be convinced that god exists, and how to get over the sheer resentment and disgust I seem to feel at the idea of god existing.

Thank you x

Genuine question for those who believe in annihilation rather than eternal conscious torment: if everyone who is finally condemned is ultimately annihilated, aren’t they effectively receiving the same punishment?

Would a serial child molester receive the exact same final judgment as someone whose main struggles were say alcohol or resentment? They both cease to exist. Is that really true justice?

Eternal suffering is something I simply cannot comprehend , but at least there can be different degrees of suffering according to what each person has done. Not trying to defend one position blindly -just asking how annihilation accounts for different levels of guilt. Thanks 

A couple of days ago I made a post here about my wife being pregnant. I was so happy and scared at the same time. I asked for prayers for me and wife, so that everything will go well. But she had a miscarriage. We lost our baby. I'm so angry and full of hate. My wife is heartbroken. Why did God allow this to happen? We never even got the chance to hold them, or even know if they are a boy or a girl. I guess I'm just asking for an advice. How can I be the best support for my wife? How can I trust Jesus anymore? How could someone ever heal from something like this?

Disclaimer: I use the word dating for lack of a better word. I intend to find a partner to marry, not to date.

I (18F) have been trying to find a man around my age who wants to get married and have many children, being a homemaker is my life's dream. At my church, all of my sisters have managed to get married by 19 at the latest. There is a person (18M) who has shown to me the strength of his faith and how much he loves God. How do I signal to him that I am interested? I know that men should take the lead in courtship, I respect that. But I also know men nowadays are so scared to ask girls "the question" for fear of rejection or creating drama.

I've known him for almost a year and his parents love me and keep inviting me to there family events.

I'm perfectly fine if he would like to be friends but I would like to know if there is a possibility of him and me going anywhere without me being too forward. Because if he isn't interested I can look elsewhere and not waste anymore of my time.

(I have been told by others it's all in God's timing and I've also been told that God doesn't do everything for us and we have to take initiative in our lives in accordance with biblical teachings)

I hope what I said has made sense.

God Bless x

I (23f) have struggled with same sex attraction from a very young age and have come to the point where I am willing to live a life of celibacy and being alone because my desire to be close to God outweighs the desire of my flesh. I have never confided in anyone about these feelings but I’ve made it known I don’t desire to marry, especially to a man (I’ve been in relationships before with men and truly could not connect or find attraction in any sense). The only issue is many in my church and family members see it as almost like a biblical duty to marry and reproduce and have made comments like “one day a man will change your mind” or “you need to grow closer to God and he will give you those desires”. Is this biblically sound or true in any sense?

Idk many sheep who are lame, bruised, hurt and sick. Why isn't the missionaries more eager to reach out to them and serve their spiritual needs more and first? Funny enough that none thinks for the ones who are walking alone for their Lord, none here to tend to their needs to serve them. None to love them, none to assure them. They are walking alone for Christ. With only one pain in their heart to see more of God.

Those who for the sake of Christ are going through loneliness, mental agony, stress and getting tripped by the enemy all way long, bearing innumerable pains and sufferings of their own kind longing for only one thing that is to see that all is well between them and God. They who seeks to find their life and pleasure in Christ, who are sad and distressed and also disturbed by the fact that they aren't as they wished they were when they had come to Christ. Who for their love of Jesus gave it all. Now struggles to live for Christ but weak though they are they dream day and night to get closer to their Lord and grow in Him... tired and sad they lay down the floor praying for a revival and help from the Lord to lead them away from the influence of life and vanity, away from the world and closer to the God whom they want to love. Or i haven't come across any? The first all I had heard was from Washer, and found like struggles being beared by Bunyan in his Grace abounding to the chief of sinners. And I don't remember much people.

Long story short, my girlfriend is an agnostic, I got into the relationship knowing and was willing to love her despite our differences. It was going well, she respected my beliefs and wasn’t disrespectful.

We broke up because we were sleeping together and I felt a strong conviction for us to stop. Obviously it’s wrong plus we’re both still in uni and I don’t want to destroy either of our futures with an unplanned pregnancy. When I told her I wanted us to wait till marriage I expected her to be disappointed and go along with it but she just said if we’re not gonna be sleeping together shed break up with me. It was very jarring because I didn’t think sex was such a big part of a relationship but I guess you learn something new everyday.

I decided that it would be the best for us to end it. The days leading up to it I felt so much guilt in my heart but ever since breaking up I feel lighter, sad as hell, but relived. I feel like I am no longer going against my beliefs to please someone and it’s liberating.

I miss her everyday and I still pray that God can touch her heart and changer her. I realised I was prideful thinking by being with her she could come to God but that’s not the case. People will only believe when the time is right for them. I just couldn’t keep leading her and myself in sin and say everything was alright.

I'm curious especially about people who weren't raised Christian, or who actively didn't believe. Was there one argument, experience, relationship, moment, or realization that changed things for you? Or was it much more gradual? And was the thing that initially drew you toward Christianity the same thing that ultimately convinced you?

I've been trying to get serious about being saved and becoming a Christian for the last year but one of the things I struggle with is how much sin overtakes my focus. I've had some bad habits overtake my life which I'll stay clean from for a few days but I'll relapse and not have any motivation to connect with God at all. I can't overcome my lack of care after I sin. I know I need to take this seriously before it's too late but I struggle with having discipline and maintaining focus on God. How can I overcome this laziness?

It's not really "pray for me" thing. I mean... I wouldn't mind but that post is not about it.

The thing is I'm not a bad guy. A sinner, sure, but i don't have records of doing anything that people might consider harmful to others. Quite the opposite I've been known as a nice and loving guy but... The thing I notice from time to time and what disturbs me is sometimes evil makes me excited. And not "sex before marriage" kind of evil I'm talking about real messed up horror movies kind of evil, for a moment I might find fascinating someone's cruelty or savageness it attracts my mind.

At the same time I realise that be it something real I wouldn't do that... Probably. 99% chance that I wouldn't do it irl haha... And yes probably I would say that it's wrong and tried to stop a bad guy. But part of me feels ... Regret? Regret that I'm not like that, that I'm not evil and heartless enough of a maniac to do whatever the hell i like and get away with that.

And like on the one side - I guess I'm glad that moral me prevails... For now at least. It means I guess that I have strong moral code and I wouldn't sacrifice others rights or lives for my own good but at the same time I'm kinda... Disturbed. That i even consider it.

So the Christian part of the question: is that normal ? Or am I like... Haunted or something?

It’s been broken all my life, and I wish I didn’t exist. Sometimes I think God is more focused on me suffering in order to build character, obedience, and dependency on Him than He is about mending my broken heart. Sometimes I feel like His testing me takes higher priority than everything else, and when I fail, He’s there to remind me of my failure.

Whether you sin or not, you will face the consequences of living in a fallen world. I wish we had a choice. I wish I could choose whether I wanted to exist or not, but that wouldn’t be possible. We have free will in everything else, just not that.

Christians say that God is not going to bring you out of bondage just to leave you there, but in my 17 years as a born-again Christian, I feel like I’ve been left in the desert. He promised me His grace was sufficient when I wanted to place my child up for adoption because I couldn’t afford to raise her. I picked such wonderful Christian parents, and they changed their minds at the last minute. But He told me His grace was sufficient, yet I will most likely lose her anyway.

I’m terrified of losing custody of my child because I am poor and unable to pay my bills. I’ve been homeless with my child already, so when Christians tell me God never left them homeless or hungry, to which I’ve experienced both, I wonder, where is His providence?

If God can allow Christians in Africa and in the Middle East to beheaded for the Gospel, if God can allow people to be sold into sex slavery, or even children to be aborted, then who am I to think that God would help me? Or that God is concerned about my problems? If He allowed Jesus to die on the cross, then how can I expect Him to care about my problems?

So I wish I were never born. If I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t have to suffer, and I don’t deserve to be in heaven anyway. I am useless. Utterly useless as a person and a believer. I hate that I even brought a child into this world; I am just as guilty.

Life is hard. Your own family could reject you, your friends reject you, and when you cry out, God is quiet. And even writing this just proves how little faith I have in Him, so it’s still my fault.

Job didn’t sin, and he still had to repent because how dare he question God’s sovereignty and judgment? I don’t see God’s love. I just feel like a burden. Like I don’t matter.

At the end of the day, it’s my fault. I lacked faith and trust in the Lord, and everything that’s happening to me, I deserve. It will always be wrong, and God will always be right. And whatever is not my fault, whatever sin people have done against me, then how dare I complain? Because God owes me nothing, and Jesus is innocent and died for me, so how dare I complain?

There are people worse off than me anyway. My pain doesn’t matter.

Reading the book of job gives me no comfort anymore. He never got his answer and even though we got his answer it still doesn't feel good knowing that God is sovereign over Satan's affairs in my life. He was restored but all I have ever been given was more trouble. Theres more evil waiting around the corner for me.

I struggle with strong scrupulosity and God feels silent lately without change. I have religious OCD and Im overwhelmed in religious topics. Practically I analyze every move, choice. Due to God's silence, sin, or just feeling like there's no relationship and i'm too tired to do anything, i can have strong panic attacks, where my whole body trembles, what cause me to almost faint, because I'm overwhelmed of tempation, feeling abandoned, terror and guil that when I can't literally pray or analyze scripture, i grow distant from God what i fear distancing panically. God's silence and guilt for not praying, because of exhaustion. I also noticed that in general i struggle with speaking. Like im silent in conversations, i can't find words in every oppotrunity.

I struggle with praying, because I'm overwhelmed to say anything. I cant find words. Im exhausted of chronically analyzing scripture or God's answers. But I also don't want to abandon God or be distant from Him, yet also i just freeze. Also lately, when i focused on relationship with God, when i felt overwhelmed, my family noticed extreme nystagmus, what caused me to be in hospital.

Sometimes its both peaceful, not terrifying or unsettling. Im overwhelmed with reading scripture, I have no rest, even i really want to. But when i pray for rest, i can't rest anyway. Prayers feel uanswered. I love and forgive others, practically i have love and forgive people more. I literally beg God for rest, but i don't find it. I feel like God have abandoned me and theres no hope for any love, rest, joy. Lately ive been also depressed because of all things ive mentioned here, i struggle with hygiene, i bedrot, i struggle with room cleaning to the point i have bugs in my room. I feel like Holy Spirit left me too.

What to do in this situation? Is it okay? Does God forgive me? Its ok, if i will rest at least from scripture, not because i dont want God, but because im overwhelmed?

Hi everyone. Well, I’ve been away from church for some time now, and I haven’t read the Bible in several years. But I’ve never truly turned my back on God. I watch apologetics videos, sermons, and expository preaching, but I know that isn’t enough. I want to return to church and start reading the Bible again.

I know many people might think this is simple to solve, after all, “just go to church and read the Bible.” But I live with the weight of accusations, both from myself and, I believe, from the enemy. Whenever I think about going back to church, it’s as if I hear things like: “What’s the point? You’ll just stop going again anyway,” “You’re only going because you want to find someone” (I’m a 36-year-old single man), or “Everyone is going to be watching you and waiting for you to fail again.”

As for starting to read the Bible again, I believe that would be easier, but I’ve always been a very undisciplined person. I’d really appreciate advice from anyone who may have gone through something similar.

Thank you all in advance, and I love you all in Christ Jesus.

Peace is seemingly a fundamental of Christianty that gets preached all the time. I'm curious though, in what cases are acts of violence allowed?

I had this question after seeing an increased amount of edgy Instagram videos recently of teenagers talking about pastors "defending" their church and such from people trying to desecrate statues or causing a general nuisance. What does the bible actually say about this?

I'm sure self-defense is allowed, but does it also encourage using force to defend other people, property, or other religious items/structures? And in what cases should you not intervene?

Lately, whenever I pray or worship I start tearing up a lot. I do not like it one bit. It feels like God is showing me how little I am or something lol. I am not mad or sad, but the tears come. It feels like we are connecting and then I just cry. It's awkward. I dislike it so much that it makes me not want to reach out to him.

Not sure why this is happening.

What has been your experience with the tears when you pray or worship? And why does it only happen sometimes?