I turned 31 today. I’ve been an addict since I was 16 years old and this is the first birthday since then that I’ve been sober and I’m really proud of myself. I went to rehab back in April, discharged in June, and relapsed in August. I’m on day 3 of sobriety again and it feels good. One day at a time. Just for today (over and over and over)

I am coming up to a year totally sober from all substances however the last to go was alcohol and from the many reason, chasing a heroin high from alcohol was a big reason the habit had to go. Alcohol's effects felt incomplete and though its impossible to get an opiate high from it, lead to serious binge drinking trying to chase a high that would never come. I do also believe (though may be incorrect) that past heroin use (at one point daily) made my tolerance to booze very high.

Anyone else experience this?

Two years ago I checked myself into the hospital because things needed to change in my life or I wasn't going to be alive anymore. I had literally lost everything and was down to nothing but the clothes on my back and a busted cell phone that had no service. I thought it was going to be impossible for me to stay on this path after drinking and doing drugs for 25 years. It started out rough and weird but it got easier day by day. Since I have made this choice I have regained the love and respect from my family, have a stable job that pays well, a group of friends that care about ME instead of how many shots I will buy at the bar or what drugs I will share with them, and so many other wonderful and small things. I used to think sober people were weird (and we are!), but we look at the world with a clear headedness that allows us to take on the challenge of life. I'm not here to preach, because you do you, but I would not be here today if it wasn't for the choice I made on September 3rd 2024.

Woke up to a notification today saying congrats on 7 years. Not a bad way to start the day. It's not easy but it's worth it. Proud of you all!!

i've been sober from weed for a few days. i can't sleep. it feels like i'm too on edge all the time - i'm now aware of every single sensation and feeling in my body.

i've been smoking weed for almost 8 years. does anyone have any advice on how they get rid of this jumpy feeling that I'm crawling out of my skin all the time? Progressive muscle relaxation and breathing helps a bit.

I'm wondering if anyone knows of anything else that's helped them when first getting sober...

(22m)

All I have done for 8 months is advocate for myself and beg for help. I spent 4 months in treatment. Then moved back to my parents.

In my first 1.5 month of treatment i was diagnosed with bipolar, ptsd, ocd, bpd, substance use disorder and something else i forgot. Put on Latuda, lithium, lamictal, gabapentin, naltrexone, trazadone, and seroquel.

My life is worse.
My brain chemistry is fucked.
They constantly change my meds. Start and stop them and add other things.

My last rehab i was denied therapy, psychiatry and blood work. The place was dangerous and shitty. It’s been so difficult to get adequate mental health treatment and I haven’t found it yet.

I am too tired to get into my whole story but nobody can help me. I’ve worked so hard, my peers looked up to me for my passion in sobriety. But the medication is fucking me up, I have been unable to find a therapist that can help, psychiatrists are confused by my symptoms because they overlap. So they have over medicated me severely.

My care team and family kbow how I feel. I told my parents and support team 2 months ago i was gonna experiment with weed for my symptoms. It was always just wait till the new doctor, till the next session or appointment. Nobody could help but they all had diffrent opinions on my diagnosis. I waited and waited for support until I couldn’t.

So last week I tried weed. And then two days after that. And now 3 days this week. I don’t feel better but idk what to do.

I just wanted help. And im still trying but I’m exhausted. I had a life I loved before treatment, I was a human being. It was getting to a point that I might not have come back from so I sold my apartment, payed off my bills and checked into rehab. Now I have no friends anymore, no hobbies, no happiness and my family is sick of me bc of my mental health issues.

My last rehab when I was getting out I chose to get a job, I enrolled in college, started the gym 6 days a week, voulnteered once a week, went to the library and stuff.

They raised the Latuda one day and then I had a severe reaction due to akathisia. My doctors wouldnt respond. A few days later after my parents almost called the cops and my mom locked herself in her room they took me off completely.

Since then my life has gotten unmanageable. Now for the past week I have smoked weed daily. I am fighting with my mom. I am miserable truly and in pain. More than ever in my life.

I have fought so hard for myself and my brain is so deeply fucked since I put myself in rehab. Weed wasnt my main drug, but I feel guilty for smoking.

I just feel hopeless. I don’t trust psychiatry or therapists anymore. I have been so let down and not for a lack of effort. Choosing to go to rehab has made my life hell, more then crack and alchol ever did.

2 doctors compared me to the Lindsay Clancy case. My mom agreed and shes a therapist of 32 years. I don’t know much about it but that dosent sound good If ur being compared to a murderer.

I am turning 23 next week. I’m losing hope daily. I have not stopped fighting for my well being. I have not stopped. I was an advocate for my peers and myself. Now I have never been this lost in my life.

I have worked hard to stop having a victim mentality but idk what else to feel right now. Because I said I’d smoke weed if I didn’t get good help. For months. And here we are.

In June of 2023, I went to the doctor and was asked how much I drank a day. I told him 3-4 glasses of wine a day. Prior to the pandemic, I drank maybe 2-4 glasses of wine per week. When I heard myself tell that doctor how much I was drinking, I decided it was time to stop.

In December of 2023, I went on vacation and allowed myself to drink. I had 3 drinks over the week. After that vacation, I stopped for good. I’ve been on a few trips since then and haven’t felt the need to drink again.

Today makes 1,000 days without a drink. I owe a lot to this subreddit, as I check in here from time to time. So I would like to express a sincere thank you to all of the supportive people here.

I feel extreme focus and determination while on cocaine/ritalin. I can get so much more work done. I only use it to focus on hard tasks when I have to sit at a computer for a long time. I know its bad for me so Ideally I want to stop.

I really just want to know if there is anyone out there who has been able to manually switch on an extremely focused mind state without drugs. You might say exercise, cold water, sprinting but I have tried these and it doesn't even come close.

Maybe I have ADHD so I need it or whatever, still I feel like the drugs just turn a switch on. I want to access that switch manually. I am probably completely delusional and just need to face the fact that focusing on hard things is inherently hard.

Im a heavy drink since 12. I destroyed my relatiomship with a lot friends because I was a mean drunk. I have stage 3 chirosis. I got DUI and it will affect my RN license. They have multiple requirements. And I random drug tested. I decided . Im 4 days into sobriety. And I still feel shit. I have DTs. I spent a couple days vomiting and diarrhea. I the shakes so bad that I could barely walk. Things are better now but hallucinations but I cant sleep because the voices are too loud. Have you experienced this and how long did the voices last foR?

Posted a few days ago I put my gun to my head. I gave them to my mom and I’m going to a mental hospital today.

Thanks for all the encouragement. I won’t be allowed to have my phone so I don’t think I will be able to reply to everyone.

I quit hard drugs in 2023 (clear) I am young, my situation was complicated like many others.

I notice now, dopamine is my crutch- whether its adderall on vacations, liqour during card games, nicotine all day

I need a dopamine hit - did hard stims destroy my dopamine? Did heavy psychedelics forge a alien perspective? I am living but in a disassociated state of consciousness lead by symbolic Interpretations and intuitive thought structures.

My critical and technical thinking has taken an actual hit, i am 21 and see the results of my actions. I want a change, i am intelligent, but its like i know what the tools in my shed are, i know how to use them, but the reasoning of where to use said tools is fried.

How do i recover this? And how do i defeat dopamine jail?

My brother is currently in a 30 day rehab (he's been in multiple). They are pushing my dad to get him into PHP, which is expensive (brother doesn't have insurance right now). I'm interested in him going to an Oxford house. It looks like he'll need to interview in person. I would be willing to drive him to and from the rehab place for those interviews, but I'm wondering how much push back I'm gonna get because we don't want to do PHP.

I will call tommorrow and find out but I just wondered if maybe I can get a heads up on what to expect via reddit.

Also my brother isn't currently employed. My dad and I would pay for the oxford house while he looks for employment, but I wonder how much being unemployed will be held against him.

19 days ago, I decided to get sober. I had been addicted to weed since I was 16, smoking daily for the last three years. I also quit nicotine 10 days ago.
Before this, the longest I had gone without weed was two months. That happened after I had a bad trip on mushrooms that made me seriously reevaluate my life and my relationship with drugs. I eventually broke that two-month streak on Halloween. My girlfriend at the time was smoking weed, and I basically thought, “Why not?” Shortly after that, I fell back into smoking regularly. I even ended up breaking up with her while I was high, which is something I still think about.
I also tried cocaine for the first time on the 4th of July. I only did it once, but looking back, I think it was another sign that I was heading in a direction I didn’t want my life to go.
Alcohol wasn’t as much of a problem for me. I usually drank on Fridays and Saturdays, but I got sick of that cycle. It started to get boring doing the same thing every weekend with the same group of people. I would consider myself a casual partier.
Some days are really good. I feel positive, productive, and healthy. Other days, I feel worthless and irritable, like no one really cares about me.
I feel like I have to isolate myself from all of my non-sober friends. It just doesn’t feel the same being around them now that I’m sober. Being around them doesn’t cheer me up like it used to, and sometimes I feel like I don’t have any real friends who actually care about me. Even with my sober friends, I sometimes feel like they don’t really care about me either. Maybe that feeling will go away with time.
I don’t see myself breaking my sobriety, but some days I get so upset that I feel like hitting myself. I also find myself dwelling on past relationships and thinking about everything I could have done differently. I’m currently seeing a therapist, and while I’ve been on medication in the past, I’m against taking it now.
On top of that, dating at this age can be gut-wrenching. Since I’ve gotten sober, I’ve been ghosted after a date I thought went well and stood up on a date with someone else. Honestly, both of them seemed like the party type, so it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. At least that’s what I tell myself to help my bruised ego.
I really want a girlfriend. I think part of what I’m struggling with is wanting that closeness and having someone in my life who genuinely cares about me. At the same time, I know I can’t force it, and the dating experiences I’ve had lately definitely haven’t helped with the loneliness.
When does it get easier?
I feel like I’m doing everything right. Health has been my biggest motivation, and physically, I’m healthier than ever. But on the bad days, I still just want to smoke my feelings away. Is this what it feels like when you’re rewiring your brain and learning how to experience life without constantly having a substance to fall back on?
How can I meet like-minded sober people my age? I have several hobbies, I work, and I’m in school, yet I feel like I still can’t get away from drugs. In college, it feels impossible.
Raw dogging life is hard.

was sober for 9 months and my toxic relationship lead me to drink again. to kava or not? is it just switching addictions or what

Last Friday I was really drunk and I put my gun to my head. Didn’t have the finger on the trigger but been thinking about suicide the last few weeks. Thing is I don’t want to die. I’m a single father to a 5 year old son. He was with his mom at the time and I never drink around him.

I’m 8 days sober now. Big wake up call. Can’t leave my son without a father. Been really hard lately but I put down the booze. Was clean for 6 years. I know I can do it again.

Thanks for reading.

Looking for friends and chat

i (24f) finally stopped drinking after a year of heavy drinking every day, got up to 15 days and was feeling so l proud of myself but old habits came back. for context i’m living with my parents temporarily and every time they left for a few hours before i stopped, i would just drink as much as i could and pretend to be sleeping when they came back so they never caught me. in the last 15 days, they were always home. even otherwise i did not get cravings after the first 2-3 days but today they left for a few hours and the urge to drink and the habit of it all came back so strongly i couldn’t stop myself and i hate myself for it. i lost the small amount of progress i had made and now im starting over from zero and it just feels like im a failure. it doesn’t help that my mom could tell that id been drinking and asked me about it. i did tell her that i had drank some and even she was surprised that i admitted to it. i just hate all of this.
but i must admit, i hate the feeling of drinking now? if that makes any sense? i hate how im feeling rn and the happy fuzzy feeling was only alive for such a short period of time that the guilt and shame and the physical ew of drinking just doesn’t seem worth it, so if that’s good.

how do i deal with the feeling of hating myself for giving in to the craving and having to reset my progress?

unsure where to post this but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. I inherited a beautiful gold bar cart that for the past few years has held alcohol (never lasted long) and then became a junk drawer, i wondered if anyone had any decorative ideas for it that’s not really a coffee bar either. i’m not opposed to making it a sober bar cart, just not too sure how to go about it, it would remain in my dining room or book nook. has anyone had anything similar?

Holy shit! 6 years is a mighty long time! My life is INFINITELY better since I got sober. Drinking 1 1/2 liters of vodka a day - even when the withdrawals woke me up at night - a swig will fix that, at work, driving in the car, I had to have it, my body had to have it. The shakes, the seizures, the hallucinations weren’t even enough to wake me up. But one day I was tired of being tired and told my husband I needed help, real help. I found a medical detox and inpatient treatment center in Texas that could help me. This place took my insurance and all it cost me was my out of pocket. When I arrived I blew a .34 - building tolerance is real y’all.

I spent 5 days in medical detox and 30 days inpatient and I took my recovery seriously trying not to get involved with people there who were just checking boxes. After I got out, this atheist headed to AA meetings everyday. Higher power? I don’t care, I wanted what they had. I listed for the things that helped and ignored what didn’t help me. Eventually, I found a higher power in the moon, and opened my mind enough to hear other people talking fondly of their higher powers without getting my panties twisted. God is a title not a proper name, so create the god you want.

I stayed away from wet places and wet faces. I worked on myself and my resentments - you know, the topics you bring up while shit faced drunk? My mom this, my dad that, I was molested, I was ignored, no one loved me - you know what I’m talking about.

I decided to surround myself with beautiful sights, beautiful sounds, and beautiful smells - no negativity was getting in my world. I woke up and before my feet hit the ground I told myself it was going to be a great day! I believe that if you tell yourself good things then your brain will start to filter out all of the negative. Now, I don’t make mistakes, I have adventures! And I make sure I learn from them.

I was ready to live a sober life, and if you’re on the fence I hope you find what I have and want it too.

I used to be interesting and funny and had hobbies and creative outlets. I used to be able to have fun just hanging out with friends. I used to be down to go check out things in the world. Life was always hard and I often struggled with depressed, but I was still able to say "fuck it" sometimes and enjoy myself.

But then I stopped drinking and now I am boring and I don't want to do anything. I'm just sad. I just ruminate on my litany of problems. I have nothing to lighten me up. I'm not interested in socializing or exploring the city or going to events sober. When I force myself do stuff -- shows, camping, socializing, whatever -- I don't have fun. I don't like the person I am anymore and I feel bad for people when they spend time with me. I am a bummer of human.

This is what I was afraid of when I stopped drinking. I don't want to start again because I'm proud of myself for quitting -- more so, I know everyone in my life will be disappointed in me if I relapse.

But like... what's the point of life if it's gonna be like this?

Does it get better?

Long story short I'm about 40 days clean from alcohol and kratom. Both are a fucking nightmare to get clean from. I'm having relationship struggles, work struggles, and I'm in a ton of physical pain due to being hit by a car a couple weeks ago.

Today is the only day I've seriously thought about using.. I feel like I've already relapsed even tho I didn't touch either and I'm as sober as can be in the moment.

Idk I'm just gonna keep pushing thru and make it hour by hour.

300 days sober today. It's taken a lot of effort but the benefits are worth it.

tomorrow, Saturday, August 29, I will be 90 days sober! I’m so happy I did it! Thank you to this page for all of the support…