I aint askin questions no more.
I AM MAKIN ACCUSASHUNS.
Cabo Bob’s is a CALIFORNYAN PSYOP desined to weaken the Texan spirit one suspishusly good burrito at a time.
THINK ABOUT IT HOSS.
You walk in.
They smile atcha.
They press the tortillya FRESH.
RIGHT THERE IN FRONTA YOU.
WHY???
CUZ THEY WANT YER ASS DISTRACTED.
While yer standin there watchin that tortillya puff up like some kinda carb hydratted mind control frisbee, theyre slowly replacin yer God given Texan instincts with thoughts like:
“dang grilled fish sounds purty good”
“maybe I oughta ride a bicycle”
“public transpertashun kinda makes since”
NOOOOOOO.
WAKE UP HOSS.
A proper TEXAS burrito aint supposed to be “balanced.”
Its supposed to have enough beef cheese n beans in it to make yer heart doctor sit straight up in bed at 3AM fer no damn reason.
AND THESE CABO BOBS SUMBITCHES GOT PICKLED ONYUNS???
PICKLED???
Brother onions is sposed to make you cry cuz you cut em wrong.
They aint sposed to have a “flavor profile.”
I SEEN A MAN PUT CABBAGE ON HIS BURRITO.
CABBAGE.
ON A DAMN BURRITO.
That sumbitch probly drinks kombuchy and owns shoes without mud on em.
This is how Austin falls folks.
Not with a bang.
But with some feller behind a counter askin:
“would you like cilantro lime vinagrette?”
I WOULD LIKE THE REPUBLIC OF TEXAS BACK, HOSS.
And yet.
God forgive me.
That burrito was DAMN GOOD.
10/10.
Goin back tomorrah.
Gotta gather more evidents.