r/nottheonion • u/Outrageous_Solid_825 • 14h ago

Missouri candidate charged with trying to plant cocaine on his political rival

https://www.kiro7.com/news/politics/missouri-candidate/Q5XTNQCC7MZH3OZQVHZLWGHGNQ/
545 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

156

u/o_MrBombastic_o 14h ago

Guess which party? Just kidding you don't have to guess you already know it's a Republican 

66

u/keonyn 14h ago

Both him and the target were with the GOP. Odd the article only seems to state the target was a GOP candidate, but doesn't really mention that Ross was as well as they were primary opponents.

30

u/I_eat_mud_ 13h ago

That's par for the course even if the other guy's a Republican, it's a weird double standard that's hard to ignore once you notice how frequently it happens

13

u/k33pthefunkalive 13h ago

They hope the reader is too dumb to know what “primary” means

1

u/[deleted] 14h ago

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1

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38

u/SharksForArms 12h ago

The guy who tried to plant the drugs won the election anyway so it was all completely for nothing.

30

u/heyhayyhay 12h ago

Yeah, he was the worse candidate, so obviously the republican voters chose him.

7

u/FlattenInnerTube 10h ago

Gotta own the libs

9

u/AndrewH73333 12h ago

He was clearly the best Republican. The drugs were just the cherry on top.

3

u/AmputeeHandModel 11h ago

Can't wait to see what else he's guilty of. Check his hard drive.

5

u/kevinds 11h ago

The guy who tried to plant the drugs won the election anyway so it was all completely for nothing.

You assume that was all he tried?

38

u/Devolutionator 14h ago

The Republican Explaination - "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of campaigns, and I tell you, people do that all the time."

5

u/houseproud-townmouse 14h ago

You’re fired!

1

u/discomike74 9h ago

You didn’t have to say it like that.

3

u/pedanticPandaPoo 13h ago

It couldn't be me, we republicans only use meat cocaine.

(paraphrased)

1

u/AmputeeHandModel 11h ago

"Hunter Biden did it!"

9

u/someoldguyon_reddit 14h ago

An inditement of the whole fucking party.

8

u/Am_Deer 13h ago

He still won? For fucks sake Mizzou

11

u/OuttHouseMouse 14h ago

And this my friends is one of the few cases where a politician actualy got caught

6

u/kevinds 11h ago

No one told me I wasn't allowed to plant drugs on my opponents. If it was that big of a deal someone would have told me.

3

u/Agent_1812 12h ago

May the republican with the most coke win!

3

u/mister_record 12h ago

better call Saul!

2

u/Srnkanator 14h ago

Tried to Saul Goodman him.

I'm mean, why not just say thanks and walk away?

1

u/Exotic-Ferret-3452 14h ago

Because it wasn't CSAM?

1

u/internetlad 10h ago

Cyber Security Asset Management?

1

u/Exotic-Ferret-3452 10h ago

Ummm... no. There's another CSAM that Republicans tend to be into.

2

u/ComprehensiveTwo1763 13h ago

If the allegations are true, this is way beyond normal dirty politics

4

u/chupathingy99 13h ago

Remember when Ken Paxton stole a pen?

2

u/Pacifix18 5h ago

It was a $1000 pen that he found while rummaging through suitcases. Yeah, he's a dickwad.

3

u/Greenfieldfox 12h ago

Way beyond? This is barely a news story compared to the crimes being committed by politicians right now.

3

u/xt0rt 12h ago

Sprinkle some crack on 'em!

2

u/internetlad 10h ago

New tactic unlocked

2

u/Strong-Comment-7279 7h ago

Hilarious. I just made a comment recently about how wild Mo is. Riot.

1

u/[deleted] 14h ago

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1

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1

u/Redfish680 13h ago

How many times was it stepped on? That should be considered during sentencing.

1

u/DifficultyWithMyLife 1h ago

Gee (oh pee), who could have guessed the party?