r/nottheonion • u/_humanERROR_ • 22h ago
Alfred Sant wants name of Mediterranean Sea to be changed to ‘Sea of Malta’
https://www.independent.com.mt/articles/2026-09-03/local-news/Alfred-Sant-wants-name-of-Mediterranean-Sea-to-be-changed-to-Sea-of-Malta-6736292593849
u/guaztronaut 21h ago
What stupid fucking country would start changing the names of their bodies of waters?
Oh right.
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u/robbob19 12h ago
The same stupid country that doesn't realise Canada is in America (North to be precise), along with Every other country in Central and South America. Guess Lake United States of America just doesn't have the same ring😂.
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u/Impossible_Offer7988 22h ago edited 20h ago
Former Labour Prime Minister and leader Alfred Sant has suggested that the Mediterranean Sea's name should be changed to "Sea of Malta".
Writing in The Malta Independent today, Sant praises US President Donald Trump's "courageous decision" to change the name of Lake Ontario to Lake America
Sure, this is really funny
until a country eventually picks a sea or a lake, etc., that a different country they don't like has named and tied deep cultural significance to, and is like : This is now named after us.
The renaming of stuff like this can unironically trigger a war.
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u/appropriatesoundfx 21h ago
See, I think that as a Canadian we should double down. Since Ontario was named after the lake, we should rename Ontario to America and then, if names matters so much, they become all of our United States. Checkmate, dummy!
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u/ppyre 21h ago
We should rename entire USA to Lower Canada and troll them until they lose all their shit.
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u/DreamOfAWhale 20h ago
North Mexico
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u/balbuljata 3h ago
Canada-Mexico Buffer States, and it'd be even funnier if you could get Mexico onboard as well.
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u/stevesmele 20h ago
I hear they’re talking about renaming Trump Ave in Toronto (what were they thinking to name it that????) to Obama Ave.
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u/_pupil_ 21h ago
I think the government of Ontario should run an amnesty program: any of its departments or organizations who have screw ups they need to disclose can temporarily use the ‘modern lake name’ when they admit fault.
Oh no, America Hydro has been underreporting taxes and the America Labour Board has some sexual harassment scandals….
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u/SpeshellED 21h ago
When you play stupid with the Cheeto-PEDO he is going to beat you badly from his vast experience. So don't be stupid.
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u/zoppaTheDim 14h ago
Canada owns 54% of the lake, they’re the majority share holder .
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u/appropriatesoundfx 14h ago
Right. I was just kidding. But in all seriousness, any country can call anything, anything that they want. It doesn’t really change anything. If we take issue with the maps that they see in the states, then simply don’t use the maps that they use in the states.
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u/HaggisPope 18h ago
Any time the President says “God bless America”, the citizens of Barrie can be like “aw, thanks!”
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u/Devil_May_Kare 16h ago
When we undo his stupid renamings, there's no reason we have to put the names back in the right order. Lake Mexico.
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u/Surfer_Rick 21h ago
War of the Epstein Files, fragile egos, or both?
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21h ago
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u/Rin-Tohsaka-is-hot 19h ago
I think the biggest parallel to this was in 1992 when South Korea officially renamed the Sea of Japan to the East Sea, and campaigned for the international name to be changed as well (unsuccessfully).
Except of course there's a legitimate basis for both those names, since each country used them for thousands of years prior. Japan's just became the international standard because that's the first name European cartographers heard for it way back in the 15th century.
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u/actuallyapossom 19h ago
I think the big issue is that these bullshit claims are easy headline fodder - they distract, obfuscate and overwhelm the news media consumer.
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u/iwasstillborn 18h ago
Greece kept Macedonia out of any eu talks because of their name. There are only two difficult problems, cache invalidation, naming things and off by one errors.
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u/Hostillian 11h ago
As Prime being of the Mar-karitarians, I have decided to rename Earth..
From henceforth, and across the galaxy, Earth shall be known as 'Eps-tein'.
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u/Surfer_Rick 21h ago
Cabo Verde Islands declare Atlantic ocean will henceforth be called Cabo Verde Ocean
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u/gpwartooth 20h ago
It's really obvious that the Atlantic should be renamed as The Portuguese Ocean.
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u/saschaleib 22h ago
Hard to say if satire or delusional.
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u/WhyFlip 13h ago
If you didn't laugh at the piece you're most certainly delusional.
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u/v3ritas1989 8h ago
You are delusional if you think people here actually read the articles and not just react to the headlines.
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u/nonmanifoldgeo 21h ago
Brazilian here, we just decided to call the whole continent "Brazil" and all people from Mexico northwards now called North Brazilians. THANK FOR YOUR ATTENTION ON THIS MATTER!
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u/Koladi-Ola 21h ago
Canadian here. If I'm forced to choose between that and 'the 51st US state', you'll win.
But just to be clear, will that mean I have to get a Brazillian?
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u/ManTurnip 19h ago
How many is that?
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u/Atharaphelun 18h ago
What about Argentinians? Do you really want to attach the name "Brazil" to them?
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u/Rimanen 21h ago
As all the seas are connected then there is only on sea. And the sea should then be named The Sea of Liechestein because what is named after Liechestein? Nothing. They have nothing. They are nothing. They can have the sea. But as they don't have a harbour they can't use the sea, cause fuck them. They don't deserve anything.
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u/Normal_Pop_4744 18h ago
Maltese here, i can't believe the Independent published this dumbass article. His opinion piece was obviously written in jest. They used to have a really good editor, shame he left.
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u/the_Real_Romak 15h ago
anything to besmirch a labour politician. These "journalists" cannot help but make a mockery out of the profession.
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u/the_Real_Romak 16h ago
So this article is either fake, or taken waaaaaaay out of context.
Alfred Sant is probably one of the most serious and respected politicians in Malta and there is 0 chance he's seriously suggesting something like that.
(also that newspaper is anti-labour and conservative)
Source: I am Maltese.
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u/_humanERROR_ 15h ago
Not very into politics. But what about that guy who is seriously enamoured with the French 2-year rule of Malta and said that Queen Victoria's statue should be replaced with Napoleon's or something ?
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u/the_Real_Romak 14h ago
who- oh that dude. He's not a politician, just some eccentric historian who has a permanent boner for the French. nobody likes him lmao.
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u/HeartsOfNetherite4 10h ago
Who? Also we have a lot of funny politicians here. How did you think "PRESENTE!" became a meme?
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u/RudyGiulianisKleenex 21h ago
This feels like the South Park episode of Sarcastiball and I’m here for it
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u/NinjaElectricMeteor 21h ago
And apparently Canada is considering renaming lake Superior to 'lake Obama'.
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u/Schapsouille 21h ago
I'm all for shining the spotlight on Malta.
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u/manubibi 21h ago
Maybe Malta should do something worth of note for once, then.
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u/Johannes_P 20h ago
There's patients in mental hospitals who must wonder if they're really more insane than some outside their walls.
At this point, The Onion should just close shop because they can't be more insane than reality.
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u/Redditforgoit 21h ago
I mean, if Alfred Santa feels the Mediterranean Sea belongs to the people of Malta, they could simply rename it Mare Nostrum.
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u/Bloodsucker_ 21h ago edited 20h ago
He only needs to make a ruling and then Google Maps will change it, no?
Do it.
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u/MakeItHappenSergant 7h ago
The opinion piece that this article is based on:
THE MALTESE SEA
With his courageous decision to change the name of Lake Ontario to Lake America, Donald Trump has given the example. We'd be weaklings if we do not follow in his footsteps.
We're situated in the exact centre of our Sea. From east to west and from west to east, our strategic position dominates the Sea. Yet over the centuries we allowed others to brazenly attach their name to parts of it, as with the Tyrrenhian, Adriatic, Ionian "seas"... Worst of all, there is the name of Mediterranean, attached to the Sea as a whole, as if Malta did not even exist.
The time has come to undo all this. The Prime Minister should take a leaf out of Mr Trump's book and immediately sign an executive order to change the Sea's name. From the Mediterranean, it should become by rights, the Sea of Malta. The change would need to be entered not merely in maps of the now so-called "Mediterranean", but in all the communications issued by all government and private bodies, Maltese and foreign, whenever they refer to our Sea.
This is clearly satirical, and it's insulting that the Malta Independent is presenting it as real news. Especially considering that they published the original piece.
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u/you_killed_my_ 21h ago
Stupid people encouraging other stupid people
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u/NoSwordfish1978 20h ago
I think its satire.
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u/the_Real_Romak 16h ago
it is. That politician is a respected veteran by both sides of the spectrum
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u/SamuraiKenji 21h ago
Sure, release the real Epstein files.
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u/SursumCordaNJ 20h ago
try to focus. that's old news, it no longer matters and at this point is acting as distraction to the real issues facing Americans.
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u/Inside_Ad_7162 21h ago
Hey Maltse Sea does sound kind freakin groovy ngl.
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u/anatdias 21h ago
If you're gonna do it, do it right. Malteser sea ™️ /s
EDIT: to clarify the joking nature. Do not buy the sea, ffs
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u/thecraftybear 21h ago
I propose to change the name of the Baltic Sea to Polish Sea.
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u/MercuryInCanada 21h ago
We should break up the Baltic sea into a series of smaller seas so everyone gets one
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u/Equivalent-Resort-63 21h ago
The only reason that the name changes appear on a map is because billionaires want to be trillionaires.
Otherwise they’d tell these politicians to pound rocks
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u/Conscious_Courage_26 20h ago
Let's rename the George Washington Bridge to "The Donald J. Trump and George Washington Bridge" and the Hoover Dam to "The Donald J. Trump Hoover Dental Dam"
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u/wouter135 21h ago
This Reddit dude wants the North Sea changed to "Sea of the Netherlands". Thank you in advance
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u/Lyrolepis 19h ago
Nah, not stupid enough. The Netherlands can have the Caspian Sea, the North Sea should be called "Sea of Paraguay" or something...
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u/Creedelback 21h ago
That's absurd. They should just change the name of Malta to Mediterranea.
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u/Lyrolepis 19h ago
Seeing as "Mediterranean" means pretty much "in the middle of the lands", calling an island that would be delightfully absurd...
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u/hotsfan101 18h ago
Not really considering Malta is in the middle of the mediterranean surrounded by land
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u/Camerotus 19h ago
In case anyone else is curious, Malta is the 34th largest island in the Mediterranean Sea lol
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u/exxcathedra 21h ago
Malta is the last country anyone thinks of when thinking about the Mediterranean Sea.
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u/the_Real_Romak 15h ago
It should be the first if you look at our history.
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u/AshuraBaron 17h ago
That would be possibly if he hasn't been out of politics for almost 20 years now.
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u/Osteoprdoza 16h ago
Yeah I think we should make it convention to call a sea after the smallest country in it
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u/Looking-for-42 15h ago
I think all countries should now start renaming whatever geological formation they want into whatever they like.
As a consequence we will end up in a tower of Babel like situation where no one knows who is talking about what anymore.
Germany shold call the alps "Deutschlandberge" and Austria should name them "Austrogebirge" and France "Montagnes de France" etc. And to max the confusion I suggest German atlases should call "Lake Ontario" "Strait of Hormuz" from now on.
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u/Saritenite 4h ago
Counterproposal, Malta's name should be changed to:
Malta in the Mediterranean Sea.
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u/KataraMan 3h ago
Since the Roman name came from the Greek name, both meaning "Middle Earth", petition to change it to Hobbits Sea!
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u/titpetric 0m ago
This website can just die. I loathe how all the content is covered by web garbage on load. They can go f themselves with their ads and gdpr privacy popups or whatever.
+1 for sea of malta.
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u/BananaSupremeMaster 21h ago
Ok this one is genuinely undistinguishable from an Onion article