I (F26) have been with my boyfriend (M22) for 1.5 years, and I’m obsessed with his ex because I have a huge fear of abandonment and want to be perfect for him. They had a brief summer fling and then talked for several months after that over FaceTime because they lived in different countries and he ended it with her right before him and I got together. I am constantly looking at her socials online as often as I can to compare myself to her and see what she is up to. I’ve come to the conclusion that I do it because if I can figure out what he liked about her I can be better than her so that he’ll stay with me and not leave me like he left her because he’s said he’s leaving after he graduates next year and doesn’t want to do long distance which I can’t change his mind about. I’ve downloaded all the apps to block and have had others set passwords but my compulsion to look is so strong I always get around it. I am constantly having intrusive thoughts to the point that so much of my identity has been tied in to who she is that I unconsciously copy her style and everything. I did this same thing in a previous relationship to the girl my boyfriend was actively cheating on me with for several years. I need some advice on how to stop this compulsive thinking before it ruins my life, what are some self-help things I can do?

TLDR: I’m obsessed with my boyfriends ex and want to be her/be better than her cause I think she’s really cool and what he wants but it’s ruining me and I can’t stop the compulsive/intrusive thoughts about her. Advice please?

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Mais um nascer do sol que tenta ofuscar o céu cinzento, onde a brisa fria da manhã desliza pela pele morna como a lágrima que cai. Mesmo com a breve luz que tenta comparecer nesse lampejo de beleza, as nuvens negras dominam o firmamento com todo o seu esplendor mórbido. O orvalho cai das flores mortas que há muito tempo não têm algum resquício de vida. O vento frio sopra as árvores secas, que não cantam com seu frescor, apenas permanecem no silêncio ensurdecedor de melancolia e morte.

Não existe mais nenhuma luz; o astro celeste se foi, pois a comodidade e o desinteresse sempre prevalecem, até para as mais belas artes dadas pelo acaso. Tudo o que resta é o breu da neblina densa e gélida, onde o vento sussurra baixo, pelo bel-prazer de causar a já conhecida angústia e solidão. A tensão paira no ar, como a sensação do fim que se aproxima; a garganta fica seca, mesmo com a fria senhora tristeza estando de encontro aos meus lábios esvaiecidos de vontade.

A sensação de que a eternidade é real se prolifera, mesmo tendo passado apenas alguns segundos... Ou melhor, nem o relógio funciona mais, nem ele mesmo consegue mais distinguir o que era o ontem, ou o que seria o hoje que já não é mais... Até que, ao longe, escuto uma voz trêmula, quase em prantos. Olho para um lado e para o outro e não vejo nada nem ninguém; até a própria morbidez branca da neblina aparenta maior densidade e raiva. Daí o sussurro se aproxima de uma vez diante dos ouvidos inseguros e me diz em tom mais ameno: — "Acorde..."

De repente, aquele lugar acolhedor, sereno e já há muito familiar e reconfortante dá espaço a uma caixa de tijolos negros, onde o vento quente que corta a pele sai do ventilador. Me deparo com a triste e rotineira realidade, onde este relógio aqui não para nunca... São 14:00h da tarde.

I wanna get from here , i want all of this to end , when will this nightmare end ?

I've always been a good person and law abiding now I'm having thoughts of being a criminal, violent thoughts that I can't shake . How do I keep myself safe? Does risperidone help

I struggle to sleep but not because of insomnia… I keep squirming in my sleep because it sounds stupid but I keep imagine a needle going into my nails and it makes me so uneasy that I keep curling my toes and rubbing them against each other and physically can’t sleep for hours on end because of these thoughts… anyone know what they are called and how can I stop them because I really need to sleep…

I occasionally get hit on by both guys and girls. I’m fairly average with slightly exotic looks for where I live and I get noticed.

With girls, it’s more pleasant like she’s just being friendly. Most of the time, it takes another girl to tell me that I was being hit on before I realize anything was up.

With guys it’s … weird. I’m not gay which I suppose is not helpful either, but still. The intensity and outright buffoonery a guy can sometimes resort to when trying to hit on someone is … something. I’m usually bewildered for a little bit over what’s happening.

All this to say… I can’t imagine what life looks like for a girl who’s getting hit on constantly by guys. It just boggles the mind.

Ok so basically,i cut off thiss REALLY,REALLY horrible group of ''friends''. They were so obviously fake and shitty,good thing i cut them off. Anyways,a problem is,it seems im unable to forget about them. Not because i care about them,i genuinley fucking DON'T. But i keep thinking about them and it's irritating because i hate them so much. Can someone please give me some advice.

Ages ago my friend said this to me and its reallt been stressing me out. Basically when i was like 7 -8, i had a friend who had learning difficulties (she was a year older but like in the same class as me) i dont know how to describe her properly but she wasnt unable to make her own choices and stuff if that makes sense? But it was obvious she had learning difficulties. Basically, she used to kiss me on the lips and say we would be wives one day. I mentioned that to my friend once and she was like "so..you took advantage of her?" And that stuck. I never initiated the kissing but i didnt stop it and the idea that i mightve been like taking advantage of her is really really freaking me out.

Thats why i mentioned she was aware of what she xid and stuff, i dont know how to properly word it i feel bad, i hope i dont come off as a total bitch im sorry im panicking alot do you think i like assaulted her? I did enjoy when she kissed me but i never saw it as anything but a friendship thing, i didnt even know lip kissing was a bit less platonic until i was ten!! (After a very embarrassing incident. Im sure you can imagine. I worry about thag one as well)

But please tell me, was i taking advantage of her?

when i was younger and girls used to bully me id pray & wish every night that they would become fat. idk why to little me i thought being fat was the worst thing ever but now that im an adult i like revel in the fact that it actually became true. i just saw 2 girls recently who quite literally made my life hell in high school and they are both big as a house with a double wide trailer attached. oh i love self sabotage

The old saying "I'd Rather Be Hated Who I Am, Than Loved for Who I Am Not "

I'm hated for both. It's far far easier to be who I am not. Fuck authenticity. No one wants my authenticity.

Does anyone else feel a pang of fear/dread after certain intrusive thoughts? Lately I’ve been doing good about not digging into any of the thoughts but I still feel that initial “fear”.

I’m left wondering my body reacts that way and how to learn how to not have that initial response.

I hope someone can answer. I have two very unpleasant things... First; I always wonder if people see the world as I do. I mean, can't they see themselves too? Are they their own bodies? This sometimes makes my body numb! Second, my brain always tells me to kill myself! While I don't want to ever kill myself it's just a voice in my mind

I can't get rid of obsessive thoughts.

There is a guy whom I love more than anything in the world, just as he loves me. I helped him get out of addiction. During the period of this very addiction he had many se*ual partners. I feel terribly sick about this. My brain is playing with images of how it all happened. I'm getting worse every day. We've discussed this many times. He's very sorry for his past, but nothing can be changed. I don't know what to do with all this. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to feel like I'm in a tizzy. It's becoming incredibly difficult to breathe, and it feels like someone is pressing on my chest. My whole body is shaking, I feel like I'm periodically passing out for a split second.

I really don't want to break up and say goodbye to him. I will never love anyone as much as him again.

obsessive thoughts that have been leading me to this state for a very long time. it was long before him.

Perhaps the right decision would seem to be to contact a psychiatrist, but I no longer think that he will be able to help in any way. except maybe pump them full of pills, nothing more.

I don't know what this post is for..

This is just the state I am in right now.

Maybe someone will read this post and recognize themselves and understand that they are not alone, that there are people with similar problems.

I'm very ashamed, I'm sorry.

i think i have a very general thought process or i think i should say that i think of generalised public while putting my points in arguments, maybe that's boring but idk how to work on it, core values? do they really matter? idts, i don't know my core values, I just know ki I'm doing good, but in this world, do people like me considered as 'instagram influenced'?

don't know man, i just want to say that having a general viewpoint doesn't mean you're useless, i don't know whether I'm or not, but what are my core values? what is it? and how they shape me? that's the main question? and what if i don't like them?

I’ve always been the kind of person who forgives, even if I never truly forget. When someone does something that affects only me, I usually let it go. But what you did didn’t just affect me—it affected much more than that. So if you think I’m going to simply forgive, forget, and move on as if nothing happened, you’re mistaken.

I’m not threatening you, and honestly, I’m not even sure what I’m going to do from here. Maybe I’m still at the stage of trying to process and settle what happened as part of recovering from the trauma you left me with. Two years of my life were spent believing I was with you. I realize now that I wasn’t really with you for two years—I was paying for you for two years. That realization itself is something I’m still trying to come to terms with.

This isn’t about having the final say, winning, or getting revenge. But if you think I’m going to be okay with being blackmailed and extorted simply because I was kind, trusting, and unassertive with you, then you’re wrong.

Maybe you never really knew me as well as you thought you did. And if you think what happened means this is simply the end of the story and I’ll eventually forget about it, you’re wrong about that too. I’m still trying to figure out what comes next, but I know I’m not going to pretend that what happened was okay.