Credit to u/2Pollaski2Furious for the idea. Same sets of rules from the original FBS series apply here for the FCS teams. This is an award for FCS teams that humiliate themselves, whether it's a choke job, a crushing blow with everything to prove, or they have no business losing the match-up. We hail the return of college football for the 2026 season, and given the abundance of games this past weekend, I shall do a Week Zero TANK JOB OF THE WEEK for the first time. And boy howdy we've gotten some games that delivered on that front already! More on that later, but first, a refresher on how last year went:
Week 1: Mercer Bears (against Presbyterian 15-10)
Week 2: Valparaiso Beacons (against Adrian 10-7)
Week 3: Charleston Southern Buccaneers (against Lindenwood 35-28)
Week 4: Princeton Tigers (against San Diego 42-35)
Week 5: Sacramento State Hornets (against Cal Poly 32-24)
Week 6: Rhode Island Rams (against Brown 28-21)'
Week 7: Idaho Vandals (against Northern Colorado 49-33)
Week 8: ETSU Buccaneers (against Chattanooga 42-38)
Week 9: South Dakota State Jackrabbits (against North Dakota State 38-7)
Week 10: South Dakota State Jackrabbits (against Indiana State 24-12) (2025 ULTIMATE TANK JOB!)
Week 11: Presbyterian Blue Hose (against Davidson 14-12)
Week 12: Stetson Hatters (against Valparaiso 32-31 OT)
Week 13: Monmouth Hawks (against Albany 31-24)
Postseason: North Dakota State Bison (against Illinois State 29-28)
Year: Sacramento State Hornets (7-5 overall, 5-3 Big Sky)
And although Sac State had a repeat TANK JOB OF THE YEAR title after 2024, they won't be able to "defend" this title on account of heading to the MAC. Anyways, just a few mentions out of the way before we get to our nominees:
- So not only did Gardner-Webb have a tough first game, their new coach is now suspended pending an off-field investigation. Not a promising start.
- While Idaho-Cal Poly was a good game, I'm still rather grumpy about how the defensive lapse cost us.
- Maine did most of their offense and all 21 of their points against Towson in the second quarter. And yet the latter wasn't able to muster a comeback and critically missed a field goal after an 18-point response.
- Montana pretty much averted an upset bid by Southern Utah.
- A few of the Pioneer League vs. Lower Division matchups ended a bit shaky for the former. They did come out with a win, but they're not exactly convincing. A few more of those wish they're just honorable mentions, as we'll get to below.
- We've had a second straight year with an expunged game because of "inclement weather", but as it turns out that unlike last year, the predicted storm was nowhere in sight for the Georgetown-Lafayette matchup. What the hell, Patriot League! You just wasted a conference game, and for what?! (thanks, u/FormerCollegeDJ)
And for Week 0, our candidates are as follows:
CHICAGO STATE COUGARS (against Roosevelt 44-28)
Welcome to Division I football... given D2 Roosevelt was only 2-8 last year, it's going to be a long year, isn't it?
DAVIDSON WILDCATS (against Concord 41-35)
It's true that Davidson was not a strong team by any stretch of the imagination last year, but yikes. Last year, Concord was 4-7 and second-to-last place in the Division II Mountain East Conference, yet there they were running all over the Wildcats in the second half last Thursday.
DRAKE BULLDOGS (against South Dakota Mines 38-35)
First, should I point out that Hardrockers is a pretty cool team name? They're not exactly worldbeaters in the Division II Rocky Mountain Conference, but it's still not a good look for the team that won the Pioneer League title for the past two seasons and has shown signs of being competitive outside the conference.
EASTERN WASHINGTON EAGLES (against Northern Arizona 34-27)
It was looking like an utter road rout at 24-3 with less than three minutes to halftime, but then the momentum flipped in an instant when Northern Arizona made a kickoff return for a touchdown, then quickly put up one more before receiving the second half kickoff. Although the Eagles' drives since that point mostly went nowhere, they had one chance towards the end to tie it back and force overtime in the opposing red zone, but the efforts fell just short.
MARIST RED FOXES (against New Haven 22-21)
Marist has generated 14 points off a pick six and a punt return, but aside from the touchdown drive towards the end of the first quarter, Marist didn't muster any kind of offense, which critically stung as second-year New Haven secured a critical fourth quarter field goal.
MOREHEAD STATE EAGLES (against Ohio Dominican 42-40 3OT)
It was bad enough that they found themselves trailing 34-12 in the fourth quarter against a Division II team. They had to muster a fourth quarter comeback in order to force overtime. They could have put the game away in second overtime but the two-point conversion was deemed no good because the receiver had stepped out before catching the ball. And they just couldn't connect a third-overtime attempt to keep things going.
NEW HAMPSHIRE WILDCATS (against Albany 28-14)
They may have gotten a new head coach, but they've received top 25 votes and were up against an Albany team with no such aspirations. Furthermore, they had a chance at a comeback when they just needed three yards to get a touchdown, only for that to get picked off. (thanks u/thetopace103, u/hman1500)
NORTHWESTERN STATE DEMONS (against Louisiana Christian 42-37)
If you've been around for the 2023 season, you would understand just how tough the state of the program has been. But still, the fact remains that an NAIA team exorcised them after a dominant second half.
PORTLAND STATE VIKINGS (against UC Davis 31-24)
It was a shocking 21-0 lead at halftime, but ever since giving up a safety on a botched punt, the tables have turned and UC Davis adjusted. The only Viking drive that went somewhere since that point only amounted to a field goal. They didn't even take advantage of the one interception on the Aggies half of the field.
SOUTHEASTERN LIONS (against HCU 34-28)
Not such a stellar start for a Southland team that's been conference runner-up for the past couple years. It may be a reflection of how much the visiting HCU has improved, but boy did the Lions get dominated in the middle two quarters, turning the ball over three times and falling into a 34-14 defecit at one point.
SOUTHERN ILLINOIS SALUKIS (against West Florida 34-31)
A matchup between a preseason ranked team versus one of the two first-year FCS teams, and it didn't end out so great for the Salukis. They had to sub out their starting quarterback DJ Williams and found themselves 27-9 in the hole. A comeback did get mustered in the second half, but it fell just short and the three interceptions from Jake Curry (including a pick six) did not help.
VILLANOVA WILDCATS (against William & Mary 35-32)
Less than a minute remained and Nova led 32-22. Even when William & Mary kicked that field goal to cut that lead down it was a 98.8% chance to win. Then not only did Nova botch the onside receiving attempt and quickly allowed a passing touchdown, they then got intercepted with the ball back in field goal range, and it sailed past the uprights as the game ended. All in less than a minute.
And as always, don't forget to mark your vote in brackets for visibility, <like so>. I also appreciate entries I might have passed over, so feel free to nominate, and I might edit it here.
