i took my 4-year old son to his first dentist appointment yesterday, and I find a lot of the dumbing-down stuff they do really weird. For example, telling him they want to make sure there are no "sugar bugs" on his teeth (which kind of distressed him?? he was immediately like, "i don't have bugs on my teeth!!"), or calling the fluoride they put on the end "vitamins" instead of just saying what it is (they asked him "what flavor vitamin do you want?", but didn't explain, even to me, what it really was. I had already given permission to use fluoride, so it's not like they didn't have my consent for that, but they didn't say to me what they meant by "vitamin". I figured it out because of something else she said during the conversation).

I found the experience unsettling. I understand that it's probably much easier for them, dealing with many kids throughout any given day, to use kid-friendly shorthand. but I think it's weird to obscure what's happening like that. it isn't how I raise my son - my husband and I just say what things are really called and explain in plain language what things do and what they're for.

"the dentist is checking your teeth to make sure they're clean. they stay strong and healthy when sugar or food isn't stuck to them."

"the dentist is going to put something called fluoride on your teeth to help keep them strong. what flavor do you want?"

would it be out of line for me to email them and ask them not to do this with us? or to ask at each appointment? or should I just try to find another pediatric dentist that doesn't do this kind of thing (if that even exists)?

or am i just being too...idk. am i the weird one???

Not entirely sure how much over 1000mls a day he’s at but its definitely more than a 1000mls and I’m worried about making him sick I’m going to increase solid meals to three times a day but I don’t know if it’ll make a difference and he has his appointment booked but any advice would be appreciated

Whyyyy?!?!?!

6 months ago my husband reorganized the mud room and put all charging cables in one specific drawer. Today he couldn’t find any of the 4 same type cables we had for the specific device. They were all in the drawer he designated for cables. With one of them half sticking out. He couldn’t find any though after checking the drawer next to it, BUT the cable was sticking out of the drawer. For context this specific cable is a different color.

Last night I was putting the kids to bed and realized we were out of ibuprofen and acetaminophen downstairs, mind you we currently have 3 kids with strep, today I got yelled at because he could not find the ibuprofen. I told him last night idk if we’re out. But I haven’t checked the only other place we store it. I got yelled at again this am because he could not find it. Obviously my fault. Got home today….. two bottles of each exactly where I told him they would be. But I got yelled at twice because he couldn’t find them!

So my question is, weaponized incompetence ? Is it really this common? And WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!!!

Edited to add…. MFer just walked into the kitchen to find the two bottles of medicine and said, “where were those? Exactly where you said they’d be?” 👊🏻🤬

I understand the nuances of the statement and have read a lot of threads on Reddit but, from where I stand, I don’t know how one could go back to who they once were prior to kids. And if that’s the goal, isn’t that just setting yourself up to fail?

I guess I’m just wondering what moms mean (and I’m sure it varies from person to person, so I’m not looking for a “correct” answer), but, if you’ve said/thought/wanted this for yourself, please help me understand.

For me, I still feel like myself, just an evolved version; similarly as to when I went through other big life changes like moving out for college, having my own place and paying my own bills, becoming a wife. Still me, but navigating new circumstances.

Just to clarify, this post is to understand, learn, and relate. I’m not here to judge anyone nor do I have any opinions about the path you (any of you) may walk down or choose to explore while on your journey back to “you”. Motherhood is incredibly challenging and it demands sacrificing—sometimes a little, but usually a lot—even in the easiest of days. Mind, body, and soul. That aspect is crystal clear to me.

Anyway, I’d love to learn from you, and maybe you can share what you’re hoping to do to start taking care of yourself again. 🩷

Edit: THANK YOU TO ALL THE MOMS WHO HAVE ALREADY TAKEN TIME TO RESPOND I am so proud to read so many comments beginning with “For me,” and similar “I” statements 🙏🏼

I’m 27 y/o 5’2 , 10m PP with my first baby. I was 125 lbs pre pregnancy and 180 the day I gave birth by csec. I’ve been stuck at 135 since 4 months PP and My body basically went back to pre-preg except my lower tummy. I did PT and I don’t have DR. But are there specific workouts I can do or something to get rid of it? It makes me so insecure :(
I was very into weight lifting before I got pregnant then I had a very hard pregnancy so I stopped everything except walking. I have access to a gym but I only really have time to commit to daily cardio and light workouts, unless weight lifting is the only way then I’ll have to make time.

Out of the house and need a clean place to put baby down to play? whip out a curtain.

Perfect weight for easy and light packing while still keeping butts dry from wet grass on a picnic. instant fort fabric or car hood changing curtain while on the go. no more giant blankets that are always too thick to stuff in a backpack and ridiculous to throw in the washer after every use. also, if it’s a shower curtain, they come in some pretty cool patterns.

I have a carters haul I want to share but can’t post pics on here :/

I found out yesterday that I’m pregnant with an IUD. This will be our 3rd child with our kids currently 4F and 10mM. My period was late for over a week but I didn’t think much of it bc 1. I have an IUD and 2. We travelled internationally with a big time zone change so I thought that contributed to my late period. I have so many emotions and no one to vent to since we don’t even know whether the pregnancy is viable to begin with. I’m seeing my doctor today to discuss the next steps but man. We were on the fence about having a 3rd child and wanted to wait till our youngest was around 2-3 to make the call. If it’s ectopic it is what it is. But if it’s a viable pregnancy I’m torn on whether to keep or terminate.

Thankfully, it wouldn’t wreck us financially to have a 3rd kid but we would definitely have to make some changes (bigger home/car). I feel like I just got over the thick of baby phase and was finally getting the hang of raising 2 kids and the idea of possibly throwing a 3rd in the mix sounds so chaotic to me. Especially having 2 under 2. I also had PPD/PPA this last pregnancy and I honestly can’t imagine having to go through that again. I also don’t know whether deciding to terminate will be more difficult for me to process than potentially raising 3 kids before I’m mentally and physically ready.

For those who’ve gotten pregnant with an IUD, what was the experience like for you? And for those who had surprise babies after deciding they were done or were on the fence about having more kids what made you decide to keep the pregnancy and do you have any regrets?

so my MIL normally lives down the street from us but she’s been flipping houses in michigan where she’s from for about 5 months now. my LO is now 8 months. she has asked me to travel solo with him because of my partners work schedule (he owns a business and can take off whenever but genuinely has no interest in traveling to michigan). wouldn’t it be easier for her to just hop on a flight and visit here for a bit rather than me going somewhere i’ve never been with people i don’t know and traveling for the first time with a baby alone. we get along fine but still the thought of that is making me cringe. she’s super nice and accepting person im sure i wont hurt her feelings by simply telling her no but i need advice on how to word it without sounding so..blunt lol

I am a mom of 2. I have strong adoration for my first (4f), like she is literally my whole world, she is the light and joy in my life. I loved being her mom right from the start. We always wanted a second, he is 13 months old now, i love him but it’s not at all as intense as the first. I obviously want to protect him (i exclusively breastfeed still), i play with him, cosleep with him, i am a very responsive mom to him (just like what i did with my first around this age), but i dont feel this intense overwhelming love i have for my first. I cant wait to spend time with my first alone without him, coz for me, my second is a burden.. and i feel like maybe i should have stopped at one kid and im having FOMO not being able to do a lot of stuff with my first because i have a baby to take care of and taking a lot of my time. He started daycare recently, i was sad, i had feelings of empathy, but im still not feeling this gush of feelings i alwaysss had for my first. My second is a very beautiful adorable smart new toddler, back when my first was at his age, i was head over heels in love. Im not sleep deprived and i have a lot of self-care time and im back to work! I was reading a post on another subreddit about a mom who doesnt love her child, and it it hit-is My lack of feeling towards my second a symptom of PPD? I kept waiting for this gush of feeling to come! I already booked an appointment but i am reluctant if i should go or not, i ve never taken any medication for mental health, so this kind of feel weird to even admit it, coz i know i love my second but it’s upsetting me that i’m not enjoying him as much as my first.. i know babies are boring but with my first, it was different being her mom and still is, i just want to love my second equally, the guilt is eating me alive!

I’m 14 weeks postpartum with our second baby he is EBF and we cosleep, my husband has been sleeping in another room.

I started back to work (remotely 5 days a week) at 12 weeks postpartum and I have a babysitter come everyday 8-12:30 to hang out with the toddler (almost 3) so I can get work done before he takes his nap around 1:30. I get two hours of work done during his nap as well. After work I make dinner and give baths. My husband does bedtime for my toddler and I try to get the baby settled and asleep so I can take a shower myself. My husband goes to the garage to workout for over an hour then does a half way straightening - I wake up early to straighten in the mornings before the sitter and prep some of my toddlers snacks and meals. I feel like i never have a moment to myself.

While my husband and I both work full time he does leave the house everyday for his job and leaves most Saturdays all day. he attends church on Sundays from 9-3 and sometimes takes our toddler.

we have separate finances and he owned the house before we were married. he pays the mortgage and utilities I pay groceries, childcare, all the children’s clothes, diapers, toys, and the Internet bill on top of my personal bills (car, insurance, student loans).

I have grown to resent him to the point of hate a lot of days. he drove my car twice to church (45 minutes away), and I wanted to get out of the house after not leaving for two weeks (of course with the infant in tow) and my gaslight was on. he said that’s how it was when he took it and he put a little gas in it when he drove it twice.

the smoke detector battery needed to be changed, the alarm went off twice yesterday morning he pushed the silence button. after the left I had to move furniture to get it down because it kept going off.

some Days he will leave work and then go run personal errands like going to get protein or going to get snacks at the store hes Craving and coming home at 730.

last night I was frustrated and asked him how I could find an hour and a half to be by myself and he asked me “to do what?”

he has also been talking about my body and asking why i dont care about “attracting“ him. I have been losing about a pound a week breastfeeding but anytime i eat something he talks about the calories.

Am I just postpartum hormonal or is this all messed up because I really can’t stand my husband anymore, he has the freedom to go and do whatever whenever and doesn’t even try to help with the infant because he “only wants mom”. I find myself crying with the baby some days because I’m so overwhelmed and feeling rage

#postpartum

My son is 20mo. We have finally reached a point where I feel pretty confident, we have a good routine, and (no one tell my toddler this) motherhood is honestly pretty easy right now!

We know that we want more kids and that we want them to be 2.5 - 3 years apart, so we've started trying for #2. I feel confident in this decision, but I'm not excited. I'm so happy with our life right now and it feels crazy to do something that will shake that all up.

I was so excited to get pregnant and have a baby with my first, but now I know too much to feel that. Mostly I am just dreading being pregnant and postpartum again, this time while chasing a toddler around. I think in two years, I will be glad that we had another baby when we did, but two years is pretty far away and a long time to be miserable.

I'm not really looking for anything other than commiseration, I guess. Has anyone else felt this way?

I'm going through a long fertility journey and best case my kids will have a 4 year age gap. Obviously I would love and be very excited for any baby. However, we are doing IVF and we get to pick the sex. We have one girl already. I kind of want a girl, my husband wants a boy, but above all else we want them to be really good friends as kids.

Do you think picking a girl would help the siblings be better friends as kids?

What would having girl/boy kids look like with a 4-year age gap? It's hard to imagine a 7th grade girl being friends with a 3rd grade boy, but moms of Reddit, please enlighten me! Thank you!

Edit to add: Our 2 highest grade embryos are one female one male.

I posted earlier. I have gotten a lot of positive pregnancy test. I’m a paranoid person so I over test. I would only be like 4 weeks. Yesterday I got a positive digital test. This morning I had alittle blood while peeing. Then each time it became more and more. But not enough for a pad. I don’t have any cramping but my vagina was really sore. It’s not anymore. I was curious and I took a pregnancy test not too long ago and it came back negative. I assume I just had a miscarriage. I’m going to see a doctor next week. That’s the soonest they can see me.

I guess some back story may help.

I’ve been on Wellbutrin for a few years now. I’d say about 8. It’s for my depression and anxiety. As of this past March, it’s been just a downward spiral of shit.

I got sick at the beginning of march and had to drive four hours each way to get my husband’s new car. Found out that NyQuil or like items should not be taken with my medication because it amplifies a lot of symptoms. I was hospitalized because of the behind the counter cough suppressant and I could barely walk.

I’ve been having issues with my 75 year old parents. Both have had open heart and they’re just grumpy, gaslights people and for the last 18 months, I basically leave the house crying. My dad said some horrible stuff that made me walk out of dinner.

I was doing a weight loss challenge at work and managed to come up top 3. Two days later, my kid’s 11 year old cat was at the vet with jaundice and had to be hospitalized. I cared for him for several days before we made the decision to say goodbye. That was extremely tough.

Mother’s Day comes around (6 weeks later) and we actually adopt a scared feral cat for my kid. We get to my parents that evening and my dad is on a horrible rant. It ends with him telling me he never wants to see me again, don’t come for Father’s Day, don’t even come to my funeral.

June comes alone and at this point, my anxiety has now become an outward sign. The kitten scratches my arm or shoulder and then I scratch the scab. I start doing this mindlessly while watching TV or out of boredom. My upper arms, shoulders and forearms were bad.

I took a week off of work because of how terrible I was feeling. My spouse decided to take the same week off and I told them that I need to relax, no obligations, please don’t ask me to do anything. They asked for help with the random projects they gave them self almost every day. I got no time to sit and relax. I was busy the entire time. This is when I started therapy. Also, all the weight I lost all got gained back. Yay.

I had some parent stuff go down with my kids sports team that I coached. Some were asshole to me and I just tried to not let it bother me. My arms slowly get better and now it’s just my upper arms and shoulders. I’m trying to cut my nails really short so I have nothing to pick with.

As for work, I bury my head in the sand with a certain advisor. I just feel like he’s dogpiling and won’t let up. I scratch my arms whenever I have to speak to him (since I work from home). The calls finally slow down, but I now have trouble focusing on my work.

I feel like I’m drowning. My house is a mess, laundry doesn’t really get done, kitchen isn’t organized and I feel like I’m a failure taking care of the wife/mom duties.

I’m wondering if it’s time that I talk to my doctor about taking a leave. How long, I have no idea. My company has over 50 people and I’ve been there over a year. I hate that I’m even thinking about this.

TLDR: have had a tough time mentally, physically, in general and my house and work are struggling. When should I consider taking a leave.

If you read all of this, thank you.

Can I hear some stories of people loving the new addition after being a parent for a while. Had my first 2 kids at 20 and 24 now I'm going to have my 3rd at 31 so yes I am young and my kids are excitied and I am super excitied. This was planned, but today my oldest was like wow when I graduate the baby will be in grade 1, which I knew but holy it kinda freaked me out I am starting over 11 and 7 years later

My stepdaughter (10) just asked to start shaving her legs and I was NOT prepared for this 😂 Moms of girls, when did yours start shaving?? 10 feels so young to me, but I honestly can’t remember how old I was.

Also, this child has used her leave in conditioner to make slime and hairspray to do God knows what with her squishies, so I’m supposed to trust her with shaving cream and a razor now?! 😂 That shaving cream will 100% be slime by the end of the week.

ETA: I asked her why, and she just said she wanted to try and that her legs are hairy. She has blonde hair on her legs. Maybe we will give it a go this weekend below the knees!

Hey everyone,

I usually don't talk about my home life, but I think it'd be good to get an outside opinion. I've been a stay-at-home mom for six years now, and we have three kids. I do everything. My day starts before everyone else wakes up; I get the kids ready for school. Dressed, hair, breakfast, and packed lunches. Then I drop them off. When I get home, my husband works from home two or three times a week, so he asks for coffee and breakfast. That's fine, but if I don't go straight home and he's there, he'll call me and say he's hungry and needs coffee. When I am home, I'm constantly doing something...laundry, cleaning, dishes, taking care of pets, planning meals, figuring out logistics for upcoming events, and making sure everything's ready for the kids' practices and games. After school, I pick up the kids, get them ready for their activities, make sure they're fed, and their homework is done. At night, I bathe them, get their pajamas ready, and put them to bed. All me, every night. Meanwhile, I have to keep the laundry going, make sure the house doesn't look like a tornado hit it, and take out the trash. I'm so burnt out, and he comes home, goes to the gym, or just chills and watches TV,he doesn't help with anything at all.He does not clean after himself AT ALL. I've brought it up with him before, but he always says, "Well, I work all day" I don't know how I let it come to this. Some day I just want to walk out and take a vacation 😩 but that won't change the deeper problem that's going on. I think we should definitely go to marriage counseling, at this point. Thank you for listening.

What’s everyone wearing on days when you’re home just chilling doing some chores/cooking with your toddlers?
I like to stay in my pjs to be honest but do people get dressed properly or wear active wear, I just don’t see the point of always getting into extra clothes I’d rather just stay in pjs rather than trying to battle to get changed and throw them in the laundry at the end of the day

going on baby number 4 here- I’ve tried quite a few carriers but it’s consistently the same problem. I have big babies and struggle to get them to fit comfortably in my carriers. I have noticed that the baby is essentially hyper extended…..their head/chest (against my large chest) is super extended out while their lower body (against my waist) comes way in. It doesn’t seem to matter which carrier I’ve tried but wondering if other people have found a way to deal with this. And as they’re top heavy anyway it’s kind of an awkward mess

Hi fellow moms,

I am posting here looking for a reality check. We are located in Canada and actively looking for a dayhome for our soon to be 18 month old son.

I am coming across so many red flags in the places I see, it's starting to concern me (we are only looking at places claiming to be licensed). Today we went to view a dayhome in a beautiful new construction home, initially things seemed hopeful. The dayhome space is set up in their basement, with an access to a fenced yard.

The provider cares for 7 children (some 12 month old babies, some 18 month olds and some 3 year olds she said).. she stated that they are always supervised except for when she goes upstairs to prep/bring their food to them. She stated she uses tv to distract them while she's gone but no screen time otherwise. She made it sound like she's gone for a brief moment but come on, preparing, warming, plating a lunch and two snacks for 7 children will take a significant amount of time...  So many accidents could happen in the time she is gone. 

The space itself has a tall wooden bookshelf that is not anchored to the wall, when questioned she stated "well the kids don't touch it anyways". The stairs are not gated off either and I can't imagine curious toddlers leaving them alone.

On top of that, she stated she is affiliated with a licensing agency which I doubt given these issues. 

Multiple previous dayhomes I visited do not anchor heavy furniture and/or have heavy free standing TVs in an area that could be accessible to children. 

To me these seem like huge issues and red flags but clearly not everyone feels this way. Am I overreacting here? Would you guys consider these deal breakers for your families?

My 4yr old is off to JK next week and I am having such a hard time with it mentally.

I've been a SAHM since he was born so I haven't spent more than a few hours away from him, except when his brother was being born.

I know he will thrive because he's the most social kid ever and he is so smart.

Its just me....

My best friend is happy that her kid is off to school but I feel so sad about it. Not seeing him for 7hrs every day....ughhh. Like I tear up every time i think about it. I don't let him see me sad because we've been talking about how great JK will be and all the new friends he will make and things he will learn. He's getting excited trying on his backpack and he practices using his lunch bag and opening and closing the food containers. I know it will be an adjustment for him too.....

Is this normal to feel like this? Does this pass?

Just looking for some solidarity, I guess.

Tysm

I love Burt’s bees. But oh my, at this point I just want pajamas for my toddler and kid that are loose fitting

I am in my early 20’s and a mom of a beautiful son. I love art, drawing, music, and cooking and baking. I am a stay at home mom and married to a wonderful man. I am anti-AI and don’t use it in any capacity outside of Google AI summery which there isn’t a way to turn off.

I’m am also a survivor of CSAM distribution from the ages of 9-11 years old and was entirely made, produced and recorded by myself. This is how a large amount of CSAM is produced and shared. The recent ruling on AI generated CSAM is concerning - however, people freaking out about it are ignoring that fact. That children themselves are weaponized to become the producers and distributors at the request of predators online.

It also ignores the fact that the ruling did not legalize the production and distribution of said images, images cannot be based on a real child that someone has reasonable access to, and it it ignores that the judge specifically stated that laws need to change and the first amendment specifically, needs review by higher courts because as it stands right NOW, he had no choice but to make this ruling.

Every single image and video of me out there from ages 9-11 I made myself, I shared myself. It’s not my fault, obviously, but that is the truth.

I would not have been able to be abused the way that I was without access to a computer or camera, or the internet.

Yes, my internet access was “monitored” but there are ways around it. Any program used, or physical barrier to access did not prevent the abuse.

The majority of the people I shared images with were men with physical or intellectual disabilities between the ages of 27-40. There were a few women who I would describe as reasonably well adjusted, employed, with no kids of their own and unmarried. The top occupation I was aware of was teacher.

ALL of the people that I produced images for had access to multiple children online and would talk about them and compare them.

ALL of the people that I encountered had already seen or began collecting images of CSAM.

The main offender in my case, was a disabled man who lived with his mother with access to a large sum of money. I was compensated for my participation in these acts in the form of online currency for games that I played, food delivery (I was food insecure as a child) and gift cards.

I never had physical contact with any of these people and most did not attempt to do so. Claiming that “looking” was fine but touching was a step they wouldn’t take.

People often take hard line stances against posting their children online uncensored, but have 0 hesitations hand them the device they can make unlimited CSAM with for money, be blackmailed with, under the guise of them being technology aware.

Seeing the discourse online about wanting to protect your children, yet being so willing to hand them something that could impact them for the rest of their lives, has been an incredible weight on my shoulders since the ruling.

I am not advocating to make a public instagram page of your children online because AI CSAM isn’t an issue. I am for censoring or having your children offline entirely.

That said - I am also 100% saying that if you are regularly handing an iPad or computer to your kiddo, you are putting them at a much greater risk than AI CURRENTLY is to them.

My child has recently become friends with another child, and I’d love to set up a playdate. The only thing is, I don’t personally know the parents. I do know three of the family’s nannies, and I also have the family’s personal assistant’s number.
Normally, I would reach out to the nanny I know really well, but she’s currently off. 😂
Would it be appropriate to text the personal assistant and ask about arranging a playdate? If so, how would you word it without making it awkward or overstepping?
I’d love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation!