I see you in everything. Ikaw lang din ang lagi kong hinahanap. Hinahanap ko yung jokes mo. Hinahanap ko yung tawa mo. Hinahanap ko yung pang-aasar mo. HInahanap ko yung kapag nagkukwento ka at manghang mangha ako sa utak mo kasi ang dami, daming laman na sobrang interesting. Sobrang mahal kita. Gusto kita makausap ulit. Gusto kong kwentuhan mo ko ulit. Gusto kong makita ulit ang mukha mo. I wish you'd stay in my life. I'm so pathetic for still wanting you. But that's my truth, and I'll never be ashamed of admitting how much I want you in my life. I miss you so, so much.

During my last year of middle school I met the love of my life I liked her since 6th grade and she finally showed a interest more than I could ever imagine she was perfect but I wasn’t a good bf she was my first real relationship I mean she was my first kiss and during that time I had a female friend who was a bad influence which ik it sounds like I’m replacing the blame on someone else but that female friend let’s call her dva was not a good person she would lead on guys she led on my best friend and told me if I said anything she would tell my ex who we’ll call ecl every bit of pathetic yearning I did for her (which tbh she knew about because I didn’t hide it) anyway after ecl broke up with me I feel deep into depression with school and family shi I started drinking ofc dva didn’t care because she was rebel she’s been cutting, vaping, and drink since she was in 5th grade and also she was to busy using me to lead on my best friend now I grew up a bit and my friend lets cal him dlc who she was leading up blocked her but she fucked him up bad now I’m in my 2nd year of high school and this girl thinks I’m cute crazy to me but everyday I tell myself if ecl came back I would run into her arms like rogue and gambit I promise I’m not a cheater I just need ecl after we broke up talking to her kept me sane (and alive) but after a while we stopped talking and now we’re no contact again idk what to do

How do I talk to people who actually care and aren’t just going to bully me, mock me, sexualise everything, or treat me like I’m annoying for trying to have a conversation?

How do I find people who are actually worthwhile talking to? Where are they? What am I supposed to do differently?

At this point it genuinely feels like half the internet is bots and the other half is bullies, trolls, or perverts. I know that obviously can’t literally be everyone, but after enough bad interactions it starts feeling that way.

I swear it didn’t feel this difficult a few years ago. I used to feel like you could just go somewhere online, talk about something you liked, and eventually find people you clicked with. Now every attempt at socialising feels like walking into a minefield.

I don’t want to become completely isolated. I want people to talk to. I want actual friends. I just genuinely don’t understand how I’m supposed to find decent people when so many spaces feel hostile or exhausting.

How do you actually find people who are kind, patient, and interested in talking to you?

Im not sure what changed because I never used to feel/be like this.

Without sounding corny, I’ve always been a person surrounded by a lot of love in my life because I felt *so* much love. For my friends, family— things like that made it so easy to always be surrounded by people who made me feel cherished. It wasn’t one sided either— my friends in particular meant the world to me. I just really loved people.

Characteristics like these kind of always made me a magnet to a lot of “lost” people who wanted to be seen.

I had a motto that there is always something to love about someone, so I ignored things like personality flaws, clear indicators of concern, etc.

I remember this one boy always being close to me. He showed interest, and I shot it down nicely. He just seemed so miserable for so long after I did that. I decided to date him, because I didn’t want him to feel miserable.

He was really sweet in the beginning, and I sincerely grew to love him. There is something to love about anyone, and if you try hard enough you can love everyone.

I was too trusting, too naive, and I hate how I had to have my worldview shattered in the most damaging way— you can probably imagine how. And it took a long time to work up the courage to leave without thinking that anything he would do to himself afterwards may be my fault.

I’ve already gone to therapy. Every “grown” adult in my life knows. I’ve tried everything, and it’s been 3 years but everytime I wake up I’m still 16. Every time I think I’m still 16. Every dream I have, I’m still 16.

I can fake being okay but it’s so hard to care these days.

I can’t make friends anymore because I’ve turned into the “lost” people I talked about. Someone who’s dealing with something very deeply and internally. Except I’m not waiting to be saved or understood. I just want to be me again. I want to go back in time and meet the young girl I was and apologize for not protecting her. I want to tell her that she can tell people, that he isn’t her responsibility, and that she is never wrong for choosing to love. There’s evil in the world sometimes, but never be sorry for choosing love.

Of course, I can say that to myself now, but it doesn’t really do much. No matter how many times I forgive myself, my mind still feels fractured, and I am a very different person.

I’m attending an Ivy League university on full scholarship, but I can’t seem to motivate myself to make friends, go to class, etc. I go to class most of the time, and talk to people most of the time, and I have a lovely boyfriend, but I can’t seem to be in the moment with this fog in my mind. It’s like existing on auto pilot.

I feel like this goes against community guidelines to deep debrief on my mental state, but honestly I just want to vent. I’ve tried journaling, therapy, etc, but everything just seems so hopeless.

I don’t live with my parents because they’re not in a state to care for me (drugs, emotional abuse, no financial or housing stability), and my support network is pretty quant because I’ve made it that way. I can’t continue to hang out with people and pretend I’m fine without feeling genuine connection to anyone or anything.

Sincerely, this is sort of just sad.

Cosa vi ha aiutato ad uscire da periodi delle vostra vita difficili?
Cosa avete fatto?
Io mi sento perso nella mia vita, non riesco a guardare nel futuro e aspetto solo che qualcosa cambi.

Going through a heartbreak or a halt in relationship.

Screwed up the career determining exam.

I tried to talk to my friends.. for some reason it's not happening.... they're all available on phone but can't meet in person.

Parents assuming I did my exam well.

Parents also eagerly waiting to see matches for me.

I thought i would introduce the guy when this happens at home, but now he's not there..

I say no to my parents and they ask me why.

What should I say?

I live alone. And i feel very very lonely. Very scared. Like the world is moving fast around me ..and I'm stuck. Everything at my place reminds me of him. There was no closure to that end. So many unanswered questions. So many doubts. Absolutely going crazy.

I have another exam in November. But i should absolutely give my 200% to crack it. Like i should just study . Think about subjects even in dreams. But i think about why did he do this in my sleep... I do t get sleep because of that...

I think of ideas how to approach him. I think of all the possibilities of his perspective.

I stalk him on the limited platforms where he didn't block me and it's of no use obviously.

I constantly think about him. And wonder if he thinks about me or his prob is so bad the he's in survival mode and he's just focused to save his life.

Then am i not in survival mode? or my priorities are just different?

or it's not fair to ask him to put me first when he once told me that his biggest insecurity is his career and his performance and his social standing and now he got fired, and his nightmare literally coming true.

I want to wait for him for as long as it takes. I also want to focus on my career so that I'll be ready too when he's ready.

But I'm just not able to mentally focus. No able to stop thinking about him. It's a loop.

Loneliness has been with me from a long time. I don't know what am I doing wrong. I lost my job where my manager and HR racially made me lose my job and didn't give my experience letter. I am applying for jobs but no use. I had experience of 3.5 years doing SAP modules in IT field. I'm M23 years old and family pressure is also there to find a new job as if I'm not trying 🙂.

To get some peace, I thought my best friends would be there (usual hangouts and all). But lately I find that their also keeping a distance with me. Guess people value you when you have money. I have a crush on a girl who is my best friend and lately she gives me mixed signals. As of now, she is the only one person whom I could talk and all and she too consider me good. I don't wanna lose her by proposing or doing such things so I'm suppressing my feelings. I am trying to build a game to make myself keep out of hurting myself. I wish the depression is me gets cured and I'll find a job soon.

I'm a 16yr old male. I have a good life, I work out, I go to school, I have a lot of friends, I go out from time to time. But, my at home life is so tragic. I just waste time. I have my routines, wake up, school, gym, and then I do nothing for the rest of my day.

I've always loved video games, but for the past 2 years of my life, I don't think I've genuinely sat down once, and been able to get through an entire game. I just don't have that interest in it anymore, or lose it extremely fast.

One thing that I've been looking for, for as long as I can remember, is my ''thing''. Something I can tell others I enjoy, something I'm good at. But, I've got nothing. I don't have anything I can call my own, and I get anxiety when trying to force myself to try out new games or hobbies.

I just feel so damn lost. I don't want to mindlessly go to school for another 3-5 years, get a boring job, with practically the same routines as right now, and then live like that for the rest of my life.

I've just got nothing that means anything to me. I don't have any goals, or aspirations, or dreams.

I know, I'm pretty ungrateful for thinking this way, a lot of people have it worse than me, and I know I'm SO lucky. But, I really just want to find something that I'd look forward to do after school. Something I could spend hundreds, and hundreds of hours on, and still love. Kind of a rant, but yeah.

What do you do when you’re just so exhausted and done.

I don’t have any more fight left in me. I used to be strong but im not anymore. I let a crap job burn me out when I knew I should have walked away. And by not I let it suck my happy silly good soul out of me. I no longer have any one.

And honestly it hurts to know people can walk away so easily when they have claimed to love you and I know it’s difficult being around someone struggling but to just give up when they didn’t want advice they just didn’t want to be alone while going through it.

“You’re too much.” “You’re draining.” “You don’t give many reasons to like you.” Ghosting. Disappearing. Not communicating whatsoever any issues directly, but just give vague statements like I’m a mind reader when you didn’t know most of the battles I was already dealing with. But did you ever look at your behaviors to my reactions that made things more draining for both of us?

I’m so exhausted and when I finally opened up to some about dark thoughts, and make it about them on why I shouldn’t go through with it, that it’ll ruin their life. That’s selfish but also what are you doing to help me with these dark thoughts? You’re quiet. You don’t check in. I always have to call you. So why should not go through with it? I’m so tired and done. And it’s not like anyone would care anyways until I’m gone.

What do you do when you’re so exhausted that you’re just done?

Hoping to get some advice on how to get over a bad year-long experience. A few years ago, I had a horrible first year of college and it really hasn't been something I am able to get over. I ended up leaving and graduated college elsewhere but for some reason I can't shake that my first year was such a failure (in every way except academically). I didn't make any friends, go to any parties, or go on a single date.

Its been a few years and I am hoping there can be some actual advice given as to how to appropriately move on from the feeling of such failure. Normally, I wouldn't give it much thought but now I am concerned that something in the past is staying with me like velcro. Not sure why I can't move on but honestly...I just can't seem to.

I broke up with my bf of 4 years. I’m 21, getting my base credits at a community college before transferring to a university for Urban Design and Planning. I’m a young, beautiful, smart woman and for anyone who looks at me they would assume I’m fine.

I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago for many reasons, one being that I was going to transfer to university, we both needed to mature, and it felt like I couldn’t spread my wings while being so codependent on him. He was the only person in the world who truly understood me and wanted to be around me. I’m still in my hometown I’m going to move to a big city soon, but I have no interest in the people here. I enjoy talking to people on a day-to-day basis and seeing people in class, but I have no interest in making friends here.

I underestimated how lonely I would be after breaking up with him. He has so many friends and is loved my many. I don’t have any friends. I have a couple weeks until my college classes start again, and usually if I didn’t have class, I would be doing digital art or something else creative with my time. However, right now I have no interest in anything. Every day I wake up and I just want the day to be over. I’m bored and lonely and have no one to talk to, it sucks waking up and just wanting to go to sleep immediately. I want to enjoy my summer, but I don’t know. I’m going to try and dedicate all my time to my future once school starts again but I’m really suffering. I miss him so much, I loved him like no other.

I hope that it’s not too late to make friends in life. I just want to be understood by people, and I rarely ever have. Although I’m very conventionally, attractive, and I can socialize with people,, and also autistic and have adhd, I really struggle to feel normal. Everything is so important and deep to me, but I also need space and alone time.

I decided to take my ADHD medication today hopefully that regulates me a little bit 🙃

hey guys. ive put off asking for help for a long time. im scared of what people will think or say to me but im getting to a point of no return. im scared for my future. in december i was working a job that i loved, it was a dream job. but the managers i had were so completely awful to me. for months i shoved it down and sucked it up because i know you will never find a place where you get along with everyone, but it got to a point where i was being harrassed in all kinds of ways at work, at home and when i went to work in a different building. i was bullied and belittled and i finally mustered up the courage to tell a higher up member of staff what i was going through, she laughed in my face and said " *his name*, he wouldnt do anything like that, hes a teddy bear, he wouldnt hurt a fly". i showed her proof, she said i made it up. she made me apologise to him and give him a hug. ive never felt so shocked. from that point on, i think he got a kick out of bullying me, harrassing me and the best part is we werent allowed phones because we worked in a childcare setting so i couldnt record or anything as it was happening in the rooms with the children. the day that broke me was i was in the baby room changing his own sons nappy. its a small tiny room by the way, big enough for just a changing table and small sink. he came up behind me, bare in mind i am 5'3 and he is around 6,5 and way bigger. i was a skinny thing bc i couldnt eat at all going through this. he whispered to me while behind me " i can do anything i want and nobody would ever believe you" and laughed like a maniac. i finished the nappy and i gave him his son, i didnt/ couldnt say a word to him or anyone. one coworker said i looked like id seen a ghost. i grabbed my things and i walked out of the building. management called me over 20 times that evening and the next morning, i finally picked up and just said "i cant do this anymore i quit" he was on the other end, he said " that could have been an email. " and hung up.

since all this happened and i couldnt bring myself to speak about it to anyone including my boyfriend, i havent been able to leave the house. i try and i try but i cant do it. im terrified of the thought of running into someone whos hurt me, either him or past managers that have traumatised me, ive never had a good manager. i try and go for a walk, my chest feels like its been punched all of a sudden and i cant breathe, my knees get weak and i feel sick in my throat. ive tried new medications that doctors have given me, no help. i miss working, earning my own money, i miss shopping and just browsing, i miss the outside. but i just dont think im ever going to get better. im exhausted. im in therapy but it doesnt do much to get me outside. id really appreciate any advice or help. im losing hope.

thank you :)

I miss him 24 m soo much I've been crying from straight 2 hours and just can't stop it Just happens suddenly i really wanna talk it's been months but I can't move on from him

i want to move on but I can't i try to distract myself i study, i go to gym, i go for walk in morning, i do internships i try to do everything but still i just end up missing him. I also tried talking to someone else but it's didn't help.

And with this i have my family problem too it's just too much for me seriously, I've changed so much i used to be so much of a curious person wanted to do everything but now i have no energy i just do things to do something not to sit empty bruhhhh it's bad like so much i gave myself time like yeh okay it's okay happens but it's not getting better

And with all this i have my study pressure and that's more bad now with all this i get insecure about marks too i try to act that it's doesn't affect me but it does......

I (21M) have been feeling lonely ever since my Ex broke up with me 2 months ago. She was the only person whom I trusted fully and showed my vulnerable side to. Ever since she left me, I cannot accept the fact and keep reaching out to her through calls or messages,s even though I clearly know it will never be the same. I also cannot trust my friends, ds as I had many backstabbing experiences from my childhood, so I always maintained a distance from others except my Ex. I put her in a position where she fulfilled my requirements for both a friend and a partner,r but now that she left me, there is a huge void for both of them. Since I always maintained a distance from my friends, they also did the same as a result. I never got that much closer with anyone, and they gossip about me to other friends, ds, and vice versa. The main reason I can't become close with anyone is that they hide something from me or backstab me. Now my Ex is not with me anymore. I have been trying to fill at least the void of friends with others, but I cannot trust anyone. Even if someone does a minor inconvenience, I will think about it for days. I really want to socialize with others and break out of this mentality.

i have recently lost every person i once knew my on and off relationship that ended terribly, all of my friends that i worked so hard to for.

i have issues with meeting people i go to therapy for it and its not looking great i always distance myself from the people i love when i finally get them to love me back its a problem ive been dealing with my whole life i met this guy online we kind of dated but everytime i push him away some time ago we stopped talking since he messaged a minor as an adult and i think i made the right call by ending things with him and not forgiving him but i still feel empty i cant handle waking up and not having anyone to talk to and id like anyone to help me by giving me advice on how to find people either online or offline i might seem like a red flag when i say i push people away but its a temporary thing and im getting the help i need to overcome it.

now im trying to get it all to work out im waiting for the school year to start so that i can make friends hopefully but im bad at that too and im trying to make online friends by looking through those meeting tiktok videos but its hard since most of them already have someone. this might sounds silly but its truly ruining my life any advice or friendship requests will be appreciated and thanks a lot for reading.

th

I’ve been feeling really depressed and lonely lately. I don’t really enjoy anything anymore… I can’t even listen to music or watch movies I just don’t feel like doing anything
I also don’t feel like I can talk to anyone around me about this because I always feel like I have to act strong

If you’ve been through something like this what helped you get out of it? I could really use some advice.

1. So I kinda restarted my life last September 2025 (23,F) after 2 years of regular fighting with my father over my forced engineering degree and how he abuses my mom (mostly took out frustration of me not doing well in life on her)..so in last sep after he had a heart attack, we kinda said sorry to each other, I looked after him and I decided to move forward. I had distanced myself from my friends at that time.

2. So in September I had 2 choices kinda: 1. To continue engineering and take a job in a few months 2. Do M.A from a good institute in Hyderabad and prepare for government exams. I was inclined towards M.A., but didn't take it because (Papa wanted engineering / M.A. looked off / guts / xyz reasons).

   And kinda forced myself into a sick/low-placement automation course. I KNEW IT WAS SICK, NO PLACEMENT, NO INTEREST, but still I kinda forced myself thinking I would study some DSA etc. and crack a tech job or something.

   Also I wanted to go away from home. (I don't know if it was a good decision because I could have studied at home too, SO YEAH. I went, but I was not feeling okay.)

3. Was ranting and all on Telegram mental health groups for advice and all, talking to people.

THEN I FOUND MY GUY FRIEND (M, 23) NAME: HARSH, ON TELEGRAM.

ALMOST OCTOBER.

So expressive. Amazing listener, so consistent. Two months into talking to him, purely as friends, he was trying to grow and heal from toxic friends, trying to make his career.

He was in the last semester of his master's. We bonded so well. He had dreams he wanted to work on. Build a business. Open an NGO with his own money in the future. Shared his insecurities, fears with me. Everyday details.

1. AROUND NOVEMBER, I TEXTED MY EX-BEST FRIEND AGAIN AFTER ONE YEAR. NAME: PRIYANKA.

WE WERE MOSTLY DISTANCE FRIENDS BUT SHE UNDERSTOOD ME ALWAYS. WELCOMED ME AND SUPPORTED ME AND LIKED THAT I LEFT A TOXIC ENVIRONMENT AT HOME TO BUILD SOMETHING BIGGER. BUT SHE WANTED CONSISTENCY, PROGRESS AND THAT I TELL HER EVERYTHING. WHICH WAS A LITTLE OVERWHELMING AT FIRST, BUT I WAS TRYING.

1. Till December 15, HARSH AND I BONDED WELL. PRIYANKA was trying to study together with me, share progress, and everything was good. She was so open about everything in her life and supporting me. Harsh was also willing to study together and get fit together.

He was motivated to study and asked me to decide what government exams I wanted to go for and we ALMOST decided to study and share all our progress together, and he wanted me to take his pets so he could focus while I worked a job. We ALMOST MADE PLANS.

But I was so overwhelmed because 1. I wasn't studying. I was confused about what to do, and I was continuing in a place I hated and I knew had very poor ROI. But I wasn't telling any of it to my friends and trying to cope / hide myself, coming off as UNSERIOUS about my life, confused and insecure, so I was saying no to any real plans, doubting myself and acting unserious.

I wanted to be friends with him and work on our progress but since I have been a LONER and had a bad HISTORY with college, grades and friends, so I was OVERWHELMED.

So I was running from accountability, not studying, and not telling people anything. I was very inconsistent, treating my friends badly by leaving them on seen for days, not talking to them, ghosting, even though they understood, but again and again I wanted to just go away from everyone.

I also had the guilt of not treating such good friends well and hurting them when they even said they don't like such behaviour. But I was all late replies, leaving on seen, not talking about real plans, talking about very unserious matters like memes, politics, gossip and giving vague and unserious answers when asked about career plans and future plans.

Also I couldn't take a job till February because of all this overwhelming feeling. He was also making an SSC plan with me but I said no because I wasn't confident.

What I wanted was...

To make a group of all my friends, study together maybe, talk about life and take good decisions and grow. But I was acting so weirdly, disappearing and overwhelmed, that I became insecure and loser-like thoughts started coming into my mind and I was frequently changing my life plans.

And I was feeling so sorry, so sorry, that I couldn't keep my promises, came off as UNSERIOUS, couldn't treat him nicely and all, and was also neglecting my bestie because of that and hadn't told her about Harsh being a very good friend of mine.

So my friends were putting efforts to connect, but I was so insecure inside.

But I wasn't able to take a fine step in my career. I was so frustrated by my bad decisions and bad timing and I was feeling so bad about myself.

Then from February, my friendship with my bestie Priyanka took a bad turn. She felt that I don't respect her, don't make progress, I lie to her, hide things from her (I was simply not comfortable). And so she got hurt very badly and distanced herself from me.

We were talking politely, but not openly. I was trying to be consistent and over-explain, say sorry again and again, but I was not able to focus on studying and my health because I was so scared that she would go from my life, and it was happening till May-June.

This was affecting my real life, my study plans, my friendship with Harsh, as instead of making plans together and having a good, healthy time, I was venting out to him and making no progress, keeping him confused.

So yeah, insecurities crept in. I kept over-explaining. In June, Priyanka and I even tried to resolve things to some extent and talk, but I was still overthinking every text, every emoji, her late replies.

Now I was trying hard to give her all my details of the day, but she was kinda done with me, and whenever she asked about my interviews, studies, family matters, I always tried to dodge because I was simply not focusing on it.

Whenever Harsh and Priyanka tried to motivate me and ask me about my plans, I always answered vaguely.

Slowly, in the following months, arguments over me not being sincere or leaving them on seen and talking so little became frequent. And even if I was trying to talk to Priyanka, she often replied with only thumbs up and "okay", so I was very uncomfortable.

On Friendship Day, I was so sad my bestie didn't even wish me, and I was so sad I couldn't do anything for Harsh.

Now...

Priyanka and I talk very less, almost once a week, so formally. And Harsh doesn't talk or tell me anything because I am always talking unseriously, and I didn't even introduce him to my friends and family like a real friend.

So the conversations have become extremely limited. It's just good morning, good night, how are you. No meaningful conversation is happening, no plans for the future are being made. We just live in our own worlds, and I feel like the two most important parts of my life have already gone.

Priyanka unfollowed me on Instagram. I don't know if she doesn't want me to be a part of her life or anything, I don't know.

At some point, even my conversations with Harsh will stop because it's been almost one year now. I don't understand whether I will ever be able to introduce him to my friends or not, because I don't have any friends left, and no plan has been completed either.

I wanted so badly to be a good friend to Harsh, for us to go out together, study together, get jobs together...

But I kept getting involved in unserious conversations, kept crying, and now we barely even talk.

Simplified version : by chatgpt

My Timeline — September 2025 to September 2026

September 2025 — Trying to Restart My Life

I was 23 and had spent the previous two years regularly fighting with my father over my forced engineering degree and the way he treated/abused my mother. He often took out his frustration about me not doing well in life on her.

In September 2025, after my father had a heart attack, we both apologised to each other. I looked after him, decided to move forward, and tried to leave the past behind. Around this time, I had also distanced myself from my friends.

At that point, I felt I had two main choices:

1. Continue engineering and try to get a job within a few months.

2. Do an M.A. from a good institute in Hyderabad and prepare for government exams.

I was actually more inclined towards the M.A. route, but I didn't choose it because of things like my father's preference for engineering, feeling that an M.A. "looked bad," fear, lack of confidence, and other reasons.

Instead, I forced myself into an automation course that I already knew had poor placement prospects. I had very little interest in it and knew the ROI was bad, but I convinced myself that I could study DSA, etc., alongside it and eventually crack a tech job.

I also wanted to get away from home.

Looking back, I'm not even sure leaving was necessary because I could probably have studied from home. But I went anyway, and I wasn't feeling okay.

\---

October 2025 — I Met Harsh

While I was struggling, I was ranting and looking for advice in Telegram mental-health groups and talking to different people.

Around October, I met a guy friend on Telegram named Harsh.

At first, it was purely friendship.

He was extremely expressive, a very good listener, and very consistent. He was also trying to grow, heal from toxic friendships, and build his career. He was in the last semester of his master's.

We bonded very well.

He had dreams he wanted to work on — he wanted to build a business and eventually open an NGO with his own money. He shared his insecurities, fears, everyday experiences, and personal thoughts with me.

Over time, I became very attached to the friendship because I felt understood and comfortable with him.

\---

November 2025 — Priyanka Came Back Into My Life

Around November, I contacted my ex-best friend Priyanka after almost a year.

We had mostly been long-distance friends, but she had always understood me.

She welcomed me back, supported me, and liked that I had left what I considered a toxic environment at home because I wanted to build something bigger for myself.

However, Priyanka wanted consistency, progress, and openness from me. She wanted me to tell her what was happening in my life.

That was somewhat overwhelming for me initially, but I was trying.

\---

November–December 2025 — Everything Seemed Possible

By December 15, things with both friendships were actually going quite well.

With Priyanka

Priyanka was trying to study with me, share progress, and build some consistency together.

She was very open about her own life and supportive of me.

With Harsh

Harsh was also interested in studying together and getting fit together.

He was motivated about his own studies and career, and he asked me to decide which government exams I wanted to prepare for.

We were almost making a plan to study together and share all our progress.

At one point, he even wanted me to take care of his pets so that he could focus while I worked a job.

We were making plans for the future.

I was excited about the idea of having people in my life with whom I could study, get fit, get jobs, grow, and eventually spend time together.

\---

But Internally, I Was Falling Apart

While everything looked positive from the outside, I was actually extremely overwhelmed.

The biggest problem was that I wasn't studying.

I was confused about my career and deeply unhappy with the course I had chosen. I knew I was continuing with something I didn't like and that had poor ROI.

But I wasn't telling my friends the full truth.

I was trying to hide how badly I was struggling.

I was ashamed of myself and afraid of being judged as unsuccessful or unserious.

Because of my history with college, grades, friendships, and being a loner, I was already insecure.

So when Harsh and Priyanka started asking about my plans and trying to create accountability, something inside me started resisting it.

I wanted their friendship.

I wanted to study with Harsh.

I wanted to grow with him.

I wanted Priyanka in my life.

But I also wanted to escape from anyone who could see that I wasn't actually making progress.

So I started avoiding accountability.

\---

December 2025–January 2026 — Avoidance Started

I became increasingly inconsistent.

I would:

\- Leave messages on seen for days.

\- Reply very late.

\- Disappear.

\- Avoid serious conversations.

\- Give vague answers about my career.

\- Avoid talking about my actual problems.

\- Talk about relatively unserious things like memes, politics, and gossip instead.

\- Say no to real plans because I wasn't confident enough to follow through.

Even though my friends were trying to understand me, I kept wanting to withdraw from everyone.

This created another problem: guilt.

I knew these were good friends.

I knew I was hurting them.

They had even told me that they didn't like this behaviour.

But instead of fixing the underlying problem, I kept repeating the same cycle:

Avoid → feel guilty → apologise/explain → promise to improve → feel overwhelmed again → avoid.

I also couldn't take a job until February because I was so overwhelmed.

Around this time, Harsh was also trying to make an SSC plan with me, but I said no because I wasn't confident.

\---

What I Actually Wanted

Ironically, what I wanted was almost the opposite of what I was doing.

I wanted to create a group with all my friends.

I imagined us:

\- studying together,

\- talking about life,

\- helping each other make good decisions,

\- getting fit,

\- getting jobs,

\- going out together,

\- and growing together.

I wanted Harsh to become a real part of my life and eventually meet my other friends and family.

I wanted to be a genuinely good friend to him.

But I was so insecure and overwhelmed that I kept disappearing instead.

I was also changing my career plans frequently.

I felt like a failure because I wasn't making progress.

And because I felt guilty about not being able to keep my promises, I became even more afraid of being honest with people.

I hadn't even properly told Priyanka about Harsh being such an important friend in my life.

So even though my friends were putting effort into connecting with me, I was emotionally pulling away.

\---

February 2026 — Things With Priyanka Became Bad

From February onward, my friendship with Priyanka took a serious turn for the worse.

She felt that:

\- I didn't respect her.

\- I wasn't making progress.

\- I lied to her.

\- I hid things from her.

From my side, I wasn't necessarily trying to deceive her. There were simply things I wasn't comfortable talking about because I was struggling so much.

But I understand that from her perspective, my behaviour looked like hiding, lying, and lack of respect.

She became very hurt and started distancing herself from me.

We still spoke politely, but we weren't emotionally open anymore.

\---

February–May/June 2026 — Trying to Save the Friendship

I became extremely scared that Priyanka was going to leave my life.

Instead of focusing on my studies, career, and health, a huge amount of my mental energy went into trying to fix the friendship.

I started:

\- trying harder to be consistent,

\- apologising repeatedly,

\- over-explaining myself,

\- worrying about what she thought of me,

\- analysing her replies,

\- worrying about whether she was becoming distant.

Ironically, this made it even harder for me to focus on my actual life.

My career wasn't progressing.

My studies weren't progressing.

My health wasn't getting the attention it needed.

And my friendship with Harsh was also being affected.

Instead of building the healthy friendship I had imagined with him — studying, getting fit, making plans, etc. — I was mostly venting about my problems and remaining stuck.

This also kept him confused because I kept talking about wanting to improve while not actually making much progress.

\---

June 2026 — Things Were Still Uncomfortable

In June, Priyanka and I tried to resolve things to some extent and talk again.

I was trying very hard.

But I was still overthinking everything:

\- every text,

\- every emoji,

\- every delayed reply,

\- whether she sounded cold,

\- whether she was angry,

\- whether she still wanted me in her life.

I also started trying to give her detailed updates about my day because I thought that being completely transparent might rebuild the trust.

But by then, she seemed emotionally tired and somewhat done with the situation.

Whenever she asked about my interviews, studies, career, or family matters, I still often dodged the questions because I wasn't actually focusing on those areas.

The same thing happened with Harsh.

Whenever either of them tried to motivate me or asked about my plans, I usually gave vague answers.

\---

The Following Months — The Distance Became Normal

Slowly, arguments about my lack of sincerity, leaving messages on seen, and talking very little became more frequent.

Even when I tried to talk to Priyanka, she would sometimes reply with things like "okay" or a thumbs-up.

That made me very uncomfortable because I could feel how much the friendship had changed.

I became increasingly afraid that I had permanently damaged it.

\---

Friendship Day — A Small Moment That Hurt a Lot

On Friendship Day, I was really sad that Priyanka didn't wish me.

I was also sad because I felt like I hadn't been able to do anything meaningful for Harsh either.

It made me realise how far things had moved from what I had imagined back in November and December.

\---

Now — September 2026

Now, Priyanka and I barely talk.

We might talk once a week, but it's mostly formal and polite.

She has also unfollowed me on Instagram.

I don't know whether that means she doesn't want me in her life anymore. I genuinely don't know.

With Harsh, things have also become extremely distant.

He doesn't really talk to me or tell me much anymore, partly because our conversations have become so unserious and limited.

We mostly exchange things like:

Good morning.

Good night.

How are you?

That's it.

There are no meaningful conversations.

No study plans.

No career plans.

No fitness plans.

No future plans.

We are basically living in our own separate worlds.

And this hurts me a lot because I remember how close we were and how many things we almost planned together.

I had wanted so badly to be a good friend to Harsh.

I wanted us to:

\- go places together,

\- study together,

\- get fit together,

\- get jobs,

\- grow together,

\- meet each other's friends,

\- and eventually have him become a real part of my life.

But I kept getting caught up in unserious conversations, crying, overthinking, avoiding things, and making no real progress.

Now we barely even talk.

And I'm scared that eventually even this small connection will disappear.

I also don't know if I'll ever be able to introduce him to my friends and family as a real friend because I feel like I don't even have a proper friend group anymore.

None of the plans I had imagined actually happened.

And that is what hurts the most.

I feel like the two people who had become the most important parts of my life — Priyanka and Harsh — have slowly drifted away because of the way I behaved when I was overwhelmed.

And now I'm left wondering whether I can still repair any of it, or whether I've already lost both friendships.....stuck in a job I took in panic ..

Hi everyone not sure where else to put this. I used to be a party animal. Drugs. Alcohol. Women. The lot.

I used to think I was surrounded by loved until I realised I was making myself feel loved and happy by vices I had to keep chasing and it was draining me.

I also had to come to and face the fact I wanted to die and the partying was a distraction because I thought I would do it or someone would punch me or run me over or something.

I realised I needed help and spent some time in the mental hospital. Got meds and found out I had bpd undiagnosed for years.

Since then I’ve been cutting off fake friends, women and family and trying to be a normal functioning fucking adult.

Doing an okay job of things as I am now back in full time work, living by myself and slowly coming out of party debt and saving at the same time.

But dawg I have no friends maybe 1 and (just a friend) she lives in another country now. Other than that my phone barely vibrates I feel so alone man fuck. I meet women and they’re unhealed and I get disinterested.

I don’t get invited to anything and the last party I went to I was surrounded by uni “friends” - the drunk me let out how I felt about people and since that night they haven’t messaged or anything (which I don’t mind cause they’re all fake so alcohol acc helped then lol).

But yeah alone as fuck I’m 29. I’m trying to make peace with it. I rarely drink now. Stopped weed although considering it as a vice again. I’m super locked in with gym 75kg lean from 120kg at my worst depression and BPD.

And I don’t know where to turn to.

Turning your life around did any of you experience something similar?

How did you cope? Any good online spaces to meet friends or women?

I’m slowly becoming old man Logan and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

My career is beginning to thrive and my money but it seems the cost is the loneliness please brothers advise a younger brother on this journey out I’m trying my best. 4 years in in this bitch and I’m not quitting. So I need advice and I need guidance. Thanks for reading

Hey, I don’t even know where to start. I’m 23 and I just want to be loved.

The last couple of years have been a complete collapse for me. I went through severe depression (diagnosed by a doctor), lost several people close to me, and got kicked out of university. I felt absolutely terrible. I stopped making music, I couldn’t even play my favorite games because every failure hit me so hard that I’d start hating myself and thinking I was a loser. I still feel that way sometimes.

I’m broke, short, not athletic, and not particularly attractive. I’ve never had a normal relationship with a woman, and for some reason women just don’t seem interested in me. The only times women have actually shown initiative toward me, they ended up using me, and they used me really badly. I don’t understand why. I try not to hurt anyone, so I don’t understand why people treat me like that.

My last attempt at a relationship was three years ago. I tried really hard to stay in touch with her and keep the conversation going, but when I started doing really badly and stopped initiating, she never messaged me even once.

A lot of people say that you need to get your life together first, become healthy and strong, and only then look for a relationship. But I’ve seen people with problems similar to mine, or even worse, find a partner while they were still struggling and then get through it together much more easily. So why do I have to carry everything on my shoulders alone?

And honestly, I did go to a doctor. I really tried, and I’ve gotten better. This year I went back to university and graduated. I’ve lost weight, I’m trying to get rid of my acne, and I’m forced to look for a job (otherwise my family will literally starve lol).

I used to have so many hobbies, but for the last three years I basically did nothing. I didn’t have the energy or motivation for anything. Now I’m slowly trying to get back into life, doing what I can, and… I’m still nobody’s choice.

I try to tell myself that sooner or later things will get better, but more and more often I feel like I’m just a loser who’s destined to be alone and that things are only going to get worse.

Currently I am going through a very rough patch in my life, feels lonely and sad. Would be open to anyone who could share their experience of how they overcome their odds. Maybe I am looking for some sign that this too shall pass and a better time awaits somewhere in the future. I have lost hope and this is my last try, maybe sharing this here might help me in someway.

He's done awful things to me. But why can't I bring myself to be mad at him? He was the most interesting guy I knew. He made me feel special. I saw how his eyes sparkled when he listened to me babbling even about the most senseless things. I felt he adored me. He spoiled me with his attention.

When I tell him the frustrations I have in different aspects in my life, he knows what to say, and I felt understood. I felt heard. I felt seen.

I loved how he wanted to always make laugh. My god, I miss all those moments when we were just laughing. I miss watching him laugh. I miss his efforts to make me laugh.

I loved listening to his brain. There are just so many things going on in that brain, and I loved it when he lets me have a peak. When he lets me in how his amazing mind works.

I loved him. I miss him. I miss having him in my life.

Hello all, I've found I’m in a bit of a catch 22 with things. I have had a rough few years; I've had a severe event happen in my life (not going to cover it here) and then when I tried to rebuild the physical things (home mainly) I moved above 4 people who were so anti-social i eventually lost the plot and walked away from my home never intending to go back.

I've not done that with just my old home though, I've realised I’ve done the same with my friends and family and become very distant from them. I'm finding it very hard to reconnect. In the last year I’ve lost 3 very good friends because I’m not exactly here mentally.

I've tried a few things, namely trying to maintain a social hobby; but I’m exhausted mentally and just uncomfortable with things.

It's become a catch 22 as the thing I need to get myself back off the ground; the social connection and comfort from others, is just so hard work at the moment.

I've sort of, metaphorically speaking, taken my shoes off until i know what my next steps are going to be.

At a surface level, I could really do with a hug, as daft as that sounds.

I have a new home now, which is a lot nicer but it leads to my questions:
how would you take yourself out of being self-absorbed due to fear and start mixing properly with other people?
How would you build things around you to make it easier to connect socially?
What's your go to when you just want to shut the door and walk away?

Any ideas would be useful, I suspect I’ve missed something.
Thanks

RSD just makes me avoid talking to anyone because no matter what I say I just feel rejected unless I’m getting clear signs that someone wants me around, my brain interprets it as rejection.

I've given up on pretty much everything and I feel in a pretty deep depression that even my medication cant solve because of my isolation, I thought it would get better if I tried to go to therapy and self love but people are the problem man I just feel people are ignorant of my needs and stuff and they unintentionally trigger me, are actually a jerk to me and even when people are kind to me its become really terrifying bc my social anxiety is getting worse so Im constantly waiting for them to turn on me and sometimes I just wonder if its better to be alone and stop trying.

I had a bad breakup, and as well as that, one of my only friends attempted, and that put my mood down even worse, and I've just not been sure what to do since then.

There have been some good periods ofc but the more I interact with people, online or offline it just reinforces how much better I am alone, even if most of the time its because of no fault of their own, ive just been dealt a shitty hand.

I genuinely wonder what the hell im supposed to do to get better at this point since I have basically no connections and not even facilities designed with mental health in mind have worked.

This guy and I became friends online and have been friends for close to a year. I found him really hot in the beginning but it didn't work out. Then he started dating a guy which he told me about when we met for the first time irl. That was a surprise for me as I had different intentions for our meet.

He still flirted with me in chats and i straight up refused to be someone's second choice.

He broke up with that guy and found a really hot guy at his gym. Which made me feel bad cause why didn't he notice me.

Then he tells me he has been intimate with a guy who was horrible to me(we didn't know e/o that time) and then proceeds to show me pictures of them together.

That was like a knife to the heart for a few reasons. Reasons which I don't wanna tell the world cause of what that would mean for me.

Cut to today we talked after a few months and he wants to catch up. I don't wanna catch feelings for him cause I know they won't be reciprocated.

How do I get over the idea of him and me being together?? Please help.

Thank you for reading.