DISCLAIMER

I've tried sharing twice my diagnosis with close people. They asked me what BPD is. In my best way to describe what I feel is my emotions going to the extremes. Extreme anger, extreme happiness, extreme sadness...

I know it doesn't cover it all, but I do try to say it in a way they would understand.

And then I get hit with "it seems like we are all a bit of BPD" or "pff, everyone is that".

And it just... I know they are trying to be supportive.

But it's the same bullshit with depression and "oh, i get sad too"

Okay, maybe a bit of a weird one but hear me out please. I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this.

I got into a relationship with my girlfriend 6 months ago. She genuinely loves me. She has never given me any reason to doubt it. She will reassure me whenever I'm anxious and she's supportive of me in everything I do.

This is an unfamiliar feeling for me and now I can't really cope with it. My only previous relationship was extremely abusive and I've always had a terrible home life. I think a part of my problem is that I'm constantly on edge and expecting arguments or toxicity and when it doesn't come my body gets shocked or something, and then I start crying.

I have been diagnosed with bpd for 3 years now and I'm aware that symptoms will almost always crop up in a relationship but my current issue is that I feel gratitude and love to such an overwhelming extent. If I think about her and how positive our relationship has been so far, I genuinely just start sobbing. I have autism too so I'm not sure if that might tie into it. It's something I can't help and it feels a little embarrassing. I'm not sure if this is a normal part of healing or something that needs to be addressed?

It's not inherently negative, and I'm not putting her on a pedestal (though she is my fp and I'm sure that has something to do with it, I'm not constantly romanticising her in my head), so I don't know if my body is trying to process this and it's normal or not. I feel bad about it towards her incase I seem overwhelming or like I'm love bombing her or something.

Has anyone experienced something similar to this? Maybe it's a non-issue, but I honestly cannot tell because again, I've never experienced this before. Any similar stories or advice would be appreciated.

Thank you :)

My doctor just prescribed me aripiprazole. Very new to taking mood stabilizer as I’ve been on anti depressants for the past year, from escitalopram to sertraline and then Prozac. While it did quiet my brain, I don’t like how it feels foggy and blunt and I feel dumb. Scared of taking new meds because of the possible weight gain (i know it’s so shallow of me)

Asking anyone’s experience on Aripiprazole? Thank you!

Hi everyone, good afternoon!
I’m a 24-year-old man and I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I found out after a breakup in 2024, and I haven’t been in a relationship since then because I wanted to avoid hurting someone else or myself emotionally.
However, I’ve been dealing with depression for about three months. I quit my previous job and quickly found another one, but now I feel like I don’t want to stay here either.
I don’t think constantly changing jobs would be good for my career, especially because I know the problem isn’t necessarily the job itself — it’s something I’m struggling with personally.
So, my question is: are people with BPD able to stay in the same job for a long time? Has anyone here with BPD managed to build a stable career and stay with the same company for several years?

i got into my first relationship recently, before that i used to always reject relationships before i got into ones or i just loved people who didnt love me back and i never confessed to them. Now, im actually dating somebody im into and i cant understand my feelings, one day i can cry about how im scared they will leave me once they realize im worthless, and get jealous of anybody else they dated before, and the other day i feel like we need to break up bc were not a match and feel like i need to escape. Just being with them is a huge trigger because i have so many fears related to them and EVERYTHING they do is suddenly a problem.

Anyone else feels like this?

Context: my ex kept lying to me about who she was seeing/sleeping with and would constantly hide it.

Heck, July 24th she said "I dont ever wanna sleep with anyone but you" and the very next day she slept with someone else. Even though we weren't together at that time, I just found out today after we found out she was.. pregnant.

It feels like TV static in my head right now, im feeling too much and too little. I dont like feeling this way, and sometimes I feel like that I just ramble incoherently when trying to explain how I feel.

But, back to original, do yall feel like people lie more because you either lash out harder or whatever the case maybe? Or is it all in my head?

So for context me and my boyfriend used to go to the same school, now we attend university. Same one just different course, faculty, etc. And in his english group, he is working on a project with 2 girls and 1 guy. I hate that he laughs at their jokes like he told me, and I don't have to go to english classes, but also I'm so, so tempted to join just to be with him. I'm scared, I'm angry, I'm anxious. What if he likes those girls more or something? Idk how to go about my anxiety, lack of self confidence. I tried to tell him to just be open about what they talk about to help me, but he says that he needs "privacy". I'm sorry but privacy for what? Maybe it's because my emotions are still fresh and new that I don't see or understand why he needs privacy with his female friends. I always show him my messages or tell him what I talk about with my friends, so I feel like he should do the same, but he says he can't always do that. I don't, genuinely can't, understand why he needs privacy. And I also don't know what to do. I'm just so sad and mad and a million things, I can't think straight at all

Anyone else just get the incredible urge to start sobbing out of nowhere?? Like I’m out here trying to keep myself occupied with work and hobbies and socializing and then all of a sudden I get hit by the hardest urge to start sobbing. I’m so exhausted of life. damn.

I’m just wondering if this is a big theme for others here too. I’m always skeptical about my BPD diagnosis as I’m not someone who gives the vibe externally. Despite the excessive emotions and pains that I live internally, it doesn’t always come out; actually sometimes it comes out only with certain people and sometimes for trivial things for example my friend telling me to be careful not to mess the couch might trigger me (I would be weirdly angry because of such a comment and my affect would show it)..

Anyways a HUGE theme of mine is not fitting in, like since school I always felt like I’m not 100% into the people I’m with, like I’m always not sure who and what I like. So I almost always didn’t have a specific group of friends ( everyone else in school/ uni class did!!). So the question of “who are your friends” was like death threat to me always.

Is this a Bpd thing? I think it leads me to feeling down and then even thinking about SH sometimes. It’s also a present feeling for maybe 70-90 % of my life and my days.

Hello. Very glad this app is anonymous as this is something that has been very very confronting for me. I was previously diagnosed with “anxiety” when I was 21, I tried SSRI’s & therapy for years. I found little to no progress with lexapro no matter the dose. I have since notice I don’t have the typical day - day anxiety. I have severe mental breakdowns & spirals when things are bad. My entire mood can switch in an instant, I suck at friendships, I suck at relationships. I have been with my therapist for over a year now, & after a year he has expressed I have traits of BPD. I acted swiftly & within a few days I was given an official diagnosis of BPD at 24.

I have been prescribed medication, I have been told to try DBT. I’m incredibly conflicted on whether the medication or the DBT is the right route to go. I have always been against medication in my body, & it took me 2 years to even consider the SSRI. As a man I’m always told to “shut up & man up”, so facing this diagnosis & this emotional instability in such a toxic, small circles environment have been incredibly difficult for me. If anyone out there has been through similar experiences or has any advice, I’m all ears.

I've been with my gf for roughly 2 months and I really like her. However lately she's been kind of in a funk and I know she has BPD. She says self isolation is usually what works for her and I can see how that may help but I also feel useless in it all. I want to be there for her to support her and make her feel safe. She says that I can probably never understand her entirely and that hurts because I won't understand her entirely but that doesn't make me want to stop showing up for her and trying to understand.

I guess I'm asking how to navigate this because I want to be there for her but I also don't want to smother her. She's a really good person and I don't want her to feel like she can't open up to me but I also understand what it's like to not want to share that or not being comfortable enough to share.

I think I really did change and not some episode I miss my best friend which I cut for no reason but we're on good terms now despite we're not talking anymore

and I truly cut my ex girlfriend who was my favorite person for a long long time I even tattooed her name on my hands

I can say it's not about hating on someone to forget them but I think it's about trying to accept yourself that this is not good for you I was about to end my life many many times she saved me the first and the true time I was really about to die so thanks to her to that but looking back when we're talking now and seeing old chats I don't know why someone treats me like this I don't know what is changing inside of me but I don't try to end my life again and that's after August 2026 I just think about it sometimes but I can really feel it it's not the same as before

anyway what helped me for real was not being here I know it's a good place for venting and for telling your experience as I do now but it's really triggering seeing your life over and over again from people you don't know and we can't help each other except by talking but I'm really sorry that's super toxic like two BPD can develop a favorite person on each other so make any place like this to not consume you but you choose when and what to do

anyway I don't really know why I started removing my favorite person fully from my life despite the relationship being 2 ups and downs years but I'm really glad that this is happening and that I'm starting not talking too much to new people to help myself because I know my condition so I don't know what is this but I hope this can help someone somehow and thank you for always listening

i hope someone can relate to this. I hate that there is a constant reminder that there is someone they like and care for more than me. it's a constant reminder that there is someone that will always be picked over me.

They've broken up and gotten back together a couple of times over the years, and anytime they break up I get a taste of being the favourite. Anytime they get back into a relationship, I feel like I have to prepare for some level of emotional abandonment.

it's so painful to see how my FP will treat someone they plan to keep in their life closely super long term compared to someone like me, whose just a best friend

Hi! I’ve noticed something about myself and I’m curious if anyone else has this experience too.

So today, my partner (FP) and I went to a concert 4 hours away from home to see a concert I’ve been looking forward to for months. We rode there with a group of friends. Due to things outside our control, we ended up being two hours late, missing both openers which I was VERY excited to see, moreso than the headliner.

The weird thing is, I know if it was just me and my partner, I would’ve been having a meltdown, completely splitting and thinking “why did we even do this, everything is ruined, we should just go home, etc”. I’ve melted down over way less lol. I also had a really exhausting, difficult “why can’t anything be easy” kind of week, lol, so a split would be predictable.

But I genuinely felt calm and level-headed, a bit disappointed but overall just looking at the glass half full and grateful to be able to go at all and still catch the headliner.

Im happy that that was the case but also sad to think that my partner gets the short end of the stick so often, I want to embody my actual optimistic outlook more for myself and for them.

Is there any point to improving myself if I’m completely isolated? I don’t have any friends, I don’t even have a dog. I know I owe improvement to the people I’ve severely hurt in the past and so it doesn’t become a repeated behavior, but it all feels so pointless having nobody currently in my life to improve for. Am I just wasting my time and money on therapy?

so im currently going through a hard time rn
and i tried contacting my therapist several times but no luck

so i walked in her office and requested counseling just to talk and i had a discussion with someone not my therapist

does anyone feel like self aware in therapy and does therapy talk come off as patronizing too? i kind of felt like i did all the talking and i benefited frim their presence but not help

i mean this in the kindest way to the person who helped me but i cant help but feel like therapied myself?

do ppl feel that way too? is traditional therapy still beneficial to them?

I have no friends. No one. I have no one I can talk to and trust. I have so much stuff bottled up, good & bad, that I can’t tell anybody because I have no one. I have a mum but whenever I try to talk to her, shes always saying, “I’ve been at work all day, I need to be alone,” before calling her friend. I’m so fucking sad, and really fucking lonely. I seriously don’t know what to do anymore. I’m on Bumble BFF looking for friends but no one replies and I’m worried that my profile hints at the fact that I’m desperate and that its unattractive to potential acquaintances. What do I do? Genuinely, I cannot live like this anymore. I’m sosososososo fucking depressed. I spend all my spare time sleeping because when I’m awake, all I do is check my phone for messages. Even when I’m off my phone & doing something else, I’m itching to see if anyones cared enough about me to actually interact with me. Please, any advice would be amazing.

Up until today I was so proud of myself, and I was beginning to think that I could trust myself and that I was actually getting better. There had been a few instances where I could've acted differently, but I used my coping skills and handled it better. Both me and my boyfriend were very happy with how things were going, and I could tell that he was trusting me a lot more and just happier with our relationship in general. I was stupid to think it would never happen again and that I was better.

Today was supposed to be day 23 of not breaking down, yelling, cussing, being impulsive, not hurting myself. Things changed so quickly, I hadn't even been awake more than an hour. Up to this point, I felt that I had more time to stop myself before I got upset, but today I had no time and just got so upset over nothing. I would go into the details but it would be too much to type, but trust it was completely crazy for me to have gotten so upset. He was at work and I was supposed to be getting ready for work, but I couldn't stop crying. It hurt so bad, my heart felt like it was being ripped open. I hurt myself again, by banging my head against my closet until it really hurt (still hurts 12 hours later).

I just want to know why it happened. Why did I get so upset over something that I have never been bothered by before. Why did I do this to myself, to my relationship? I was over an hour late to work because I couldn't pull myself together and I was so embarrassed. The whole rest of my day was horrible. I was holding back tears the entire day. I feel like I am back to square one. I genuinely can't believe myself, and I am so disappointed and just sad. I feel like I will never get better, like this won't ever stop. I just wanted to have one good month. At least once a month something like this happens and I just wanted to finally break the cycle.

Im really lonely and I just could use some support. I am trying to give bf space now and I'm scared. I know he won't leave but I know he is upset with me and it is so scary. I feel like I ruined everything.

I had planned to start ACT with new a therapist and she said BDT and ACT are both top down approaches and, since I'm doing so well with the DBT skills already, do I want to consider a bottom up approach now with trauma therapy and EMDR. Sort of mind blown. But have decided this could be the best route.

Looking for feedback from anyone that has done EMDR and trauma therapy, especially after DBT or ACT, to see how effective it was for others. Thanks!

I knew it would happen. I knew it would happen. I knew it would happen. I knew it would happen. I knew it would happen. Despite all of her reassurance, I knew it would happen. I know her. I know how she works. I could sniff his intentions from the moment she mentioned him the first time. I knew from the way she spoke about him. I knew from the way that everything she watched played and watched was something that he bought her or recommended. I knew because it is so similar to how her and I began and evolved. Why would it be different with someone else? This one is just happening so much faster... I can't talk to her anymore. I just can't. The logical part of me is trying to ease the pain by saying that she was not mine anymore anyway. That she is able to love anew and I should be happy for her... But every other part of me... I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. She left me because she was forced to. Not because she wanted to. She is still in the same shituation that forced her to leave me. So, why him? Why does HE get to? Why does HE get to stay when I could not? Why does HE get to have what I could not? I wanted it... My mind can't handle it. I have not been kind to myself after this. I have been making the bad choice to get too drunk too often because I would rather damage and slightly numb myself than sit alone with my feelings. I am even drunk as I type this. My heart wants to scream. My feelings flood and dominate my mind. The thoughts are loud, strong, intrusive. Five and a half years gone to a guy that has been around for a fucking month. Fuck you. Fuck him. Fuck all of it.

I had the MOST intense FP of my life back in 2022, he was my friends older brother and he was so very dear to me. We’d always be together every second we could, always texting when we weren’t near each other, communication from waking to sleeping. Everything moved so fast and eventually he got far too overwhelmed with the experience of being an FP and cut contact with me.

After that day, every time I saw him (at my friends house or in public) I’d try my best to avoid him to not make him uncomfortable and I’d have a full meltdown, just a full breakdown of tears and I couldnt stop them until I went home.

Recently, we’ve got back in contact now, though he isnt my FP anymore. Im hanging out with him in like 1 hour and I can’t stop shaking, I feel nauseous and dizzy, and my mouth keeps drying out.

I thought maybe the previous times this had happened that I could’ve been sick, but it seems to always happen whenever I’m about to hang out with him. I just feel so on edge and almost afraid of doing everything wrong again and having him leave.

How do I get over this?

I’m curious about something and I wanted to ask you what you think this could mean.

I was talking to a friend, and she told me that whenever she gets into an argument with her husband, he hugs her to make up with her. In that moment, she said she sees him as, and I quote, “the ultimate homeless guy.” Basically, she feels like she’s being hugged by a homeless person.

She also told me that she consciously realizes that it’s him and that it’s only about how she experiences/feels him in that moment.

Is this a mechanism of splitting? Is it dissociation? Help a brother understand what’s going on here.

JUST TO START I AM NOT ASKING FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE!
I am 28 and absolutely exhausted from how bad I get to the point I either wanna give up or never talk to another human again, neither are an option as I have a kid and I do want a relationship. I am now considering medication so I don’t self delete or ruin every relationship I have including the one with my kid. I wanna hear from others if any of you have found medication that works without making you an emotionless zombie and didn’t lose your personality and from those who choose to not be medicated and raw dog it. For those who raw dog it ima need an age cause preferably id like to stay away from medication but it’s honestly wearing me down so bad these days. AGAIN NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICE JUST LOOKING FOR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES.