I finally found out who stole the top tier of our wedding cake, and somehow the truth makes me even angrier than the mystery ever did.

When my husband and I got married 28 years ago, we planned to freeze the cake topper and eat it on our one year anniversary. It was sentimental and meaningful, and the cake was honestly the best tasting wedding cake I’ve ever had. We were really looking forward to that tradition.

When my mom went to grab the cake, it had disappeared. It wasn’t misplaced. It wasn’t thrown out. It was gone from the fridge on the day of the wedding. We were confused and upset, and for almost three decades we wondered who would do something like that. It wasn’t a leftover slice. It was clearly boxed and meant for us.

My husband always suspected the pastor (I know, what? the pastor?), bu eleven (11!) months after the wedding, we ran into him and told him we had just had a baby. He looked at me and said he figured I was pregnant at the wedding. I remember thinking, wow, I am not an elephant, dude. That comment stuck with us, and my husband always joked that the pastor probably took the cake topper too.

Yesterday, my aunt told me her son admitted to taking it. He said he grabbed it from the fridge just because. He was in his mid-thirties at the time. Not a kid. Not someone who didn’t know better. He knew exactly what it was and exactly who it belonged to. He just decided he wanted it later as a snack.

I’m glad the mystery is solved, but I’m furious that the answer is my own cousin. He would absolutely deny it now and get mad at me for bringing it up, which somehow makes it even more irritating.

It’s strange to get closure and still feel robbed.

The bride stated shes only getting married to get the groom’s health insurance. They live on a mobile home on parent’s property and refuse to pay rent. They lived in the house but had too loud of sex (door open) and parents kicked them to the mobile home.

Bride and groom are incredibly weird people. Bride refuses to work, refuses to get a degree, and has no reason why. Her partner has a minimum wage job and they rely on parents to support them and pay for large expenses. (Yes, I am shaming them. I don’t think you should get married if you can’t support yourself as an adult.)

He wants kids. She doesn’t.

She tried to charge an entry fee for the bridal shower. $20/head and asked for only cash gifts.

She sent out invites 6 months ago for a date but no venue listed. She just figured out a venue after her mother put her foot down and demanded she figure something out. No alcohol, and no speeches, no speakers, and only finger food. Bride and groom are only asking for money so they can go on an elaborate honeymoon.

Soon to be husband demands two types of rare desserts at the reception. Wants them made fresh for him. They are extremely expensive and not local to the area. So, they think guests won’t have desert to accommodate for his dessert budget.

it’s just a shit show.

I thought this would be enjoyed here. No need for advice here, just read for your entertainment. As much as I’m in it, looking back it just doesn’t seem real. Enjoy 🥂

My wedding happened a couple weeks ago and it went amazing. Everything went perfectly and I couldn't have asked for anything better.

There is a cousin I was having discourse with before the wedding because she wanted to hand out her invitations to her wedding in February during my wedding.

I squashed the idea but still allowed her to attend. She did wear a white dress with flowers but I don't care honestly.

The next morning I get a call from my mother from my cousin's mom being worried we didn't get her card because she didn't know who she handed it too and it had a lot of money in there, she claims 300-500. My mother and I spent 2-4 days calling and emailing people just to make sure it didn't pop up anywhere. We figured out it was in the right place thankfully since both of them were making a fuss about the card possibly missing.

Well we are doing the thank you cards and we find the card from my cousin and her family and open it. Its two gift cards from Total Wine and Pottery Barn. I've never been to Pottery Barn and I don't drink too much, but I was greatfull nonetheless. Until I noticed the pin part was already scratched off both cards and the total wine one said "Merry Christmas".

I'm not mad about the used cards, reuse reduce, recycle your heat out, but I had a feeling I should check the balances just to see how much is on each card, especially Pottery Barn is pricey and I was curious how the money was split. I'm not a superficial person but it was $80 in total.

I am now at a point where I feel like I've been gracious even letting my cousin attend the wedding after the invitation drama. And now to make me and my mom panic about cards possibly being stolen only for it to be to used cards to places I never shop at, but my cousin does.

I plan to regift the cards and not attending the wedding. I am more than happy to send the the same energy back.

To clarify some things (and I'm too lazy to add them in); she is 28, I'm 24. And as for the money concern she works at the lab and gets paid over 100k. I do want to reiterate I'm not mad about the amount, it's just the underlying meaning and how they made it into a huge deal. They know who's family, I had several people hand me cards to me or my mother (which that is my aunts sister).

When the wedding invitations drama happened, my mother asked my aunt to let her daughter not pass out invites. My aunt said "I don't see the problem with Beth handing out invitations because we are family".

The wedding is in a different state at least 8 hours driving. Im not wanting to spend my time and money to get jabbed at.

edit: I let my aunt know that we found her card and gift cards. She's aware that they are gift card and they are used. I have pictures of the gift cards attached. Either way I hope she enjoys her wine and Pottery Barn card.

UPDATE: my Husband called his parents!
https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingshaming/s/EJtXsOMv8c

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Yup. Cannot believe this happened to me.

I arrived at the wedding venue and started to say, "Wow, you look gr...." and midway through my sentence, realized what the hell she was wearing: an all white, floor-length, chiffon dress. I quickly left to go find my bridesmaids, who hadn't seen her yet, and they offered to give her a shawl to cover up but that would likely have made things worse and potentially interfered with the, otherwise, wonderful day. We were all in complete disbelief it was happening but everyone kept their cool.

His mother had sent me a picture of a sage green dress months before the wedding and it was perfect. So the surprise was even more of a shock when she showed up in not only a different dress, but a white one. She even had a matching shawl. What's crazy is my new FIL had a sage green tie and pocket square that matched her previous outfit, so we're curious if he even knew about her antics.

Our photographer is changing her dress to sage green in all the pictures and I cannot wait for her to see what we did. Funny enough, the dress looks great in sage green. We're waiting a few days to bring up how disrespectful this was to them and just flying high off the fact that our wedding was absolutely perfect in every other way and we're finally married after 6 years of being together and 1 year of planning!!

...But she's still absolutely horrible for doing this (it was SO intentional) and yes, everyone was talking about it. I'm not going to let it destroy our relationship but it's certainly going to tarnish it for a bit. Never ever saw this coming!

--------------

Edit/Update:

We are based in the US where it is, unless otherwise stated, extremely well-known to not wear white and it is very disrespectful to do so.

I will not be speaking with her, my husband will be. We talked about it last night and he is going to eventually bring it up. Right now, we are so happy and thrilled with being married, we're riding on cloud nine and it's not the focus. Oh, and we're damn exhausted!

During family pics, I requested a pic of my mom, my daughter, and myself. My mom asked if I wanted her to join and I said nope, I made a point of doing the bare minimum of pics with them and didn't interact with her the entire night-I don't even think I hugged her or acknowledged her beyond that initial one sentence. That felt like a good level of passive aggressive behavior right back at her. The photographers and videographer also seemed to make a point to exclude her, it seems!

I will update you all with the reaction to the photos when we get them!

EDIT: Iast night me, my friend Heather (28F) and Janet(28F), And I wrote her a collective letter to Kayla that while we are concerned for her, the friendship had become very transactional and we felt that her soon to be husband was not treating her well. We outlined specific examples and said that if she ever is in an emergency, that the door was open, but for now, we had to distance ourselves, so I will not be doing this discounted hair or attending the wedding either at this point in time. We are waiting for her response, but we all came together and felt this was necessary.

I (27 ftM) have been friends with the bride of this wedding, we'll call her Kayla, for about eleven years. I am in cosmetology school getting my license currently and did hair and makeup (friends and family, unpaid) regularly before this. This all begins about a year and a half ago. Me and my Fiancé (27 mtF) had our wedding date set about a year before on October 31st since I have wanted to get married on Halloween since I was a literally teenager. Kayla changed her wedding date three times from Oct 11th, to the 18th, to now the 24th. Me and my fiance were very stressed by this, but have since moved our date back a year for unrelated financial reasons. When we moved our date, she didn't invite me to the wedding as a friend, but immediately asked if I could do her hair and makeup at a discounted rate. Since I've been her friend since highschool and felt bad for her, I agreed to do her services for $50 under the thought that I'd just be working on her.

Since then she has begged me to do not 1, but 6 people instead. I said that they would also each be $50. I said if we had 6 people, we'd need to start at 6am and then Kayla said, "well, could we start at 9am if there were only 4?" I am of course creating a contract, but she keeps flip flopping on how many people I will be working on before I can even get the contract written. Her wedding has stressed me out so much because almost no detail is finalized and it's only a little over a month away not to mention many other reasons. Part of me just wants out of this but I honestly have no idea how to approach that.

I attended a bridal shower and brought a gift worth over $150. Did not know until after the event that I would be charged an additional $150 for attending. The maid of honor sent out a text that the total bill would be for $150 per person. Looking at the attendance list used to charge guests, some close guests were taken off the list and were not charged. I am close with close friends of the couple so I heard that there was drama that the other bridesmaids did not want to pay $500 each for the event. Because of that, the MOH was telling close friends of the couple she will pay for everything even if the other bridesmaids will not cover. Lo and behold after the event, she sent out a text charging guests $150, but she excluded the close friends that attended; so they would not know she is charging everyone. This is so sketchy. I was talking to close friends of the couple and they still think she paid for everything.

I am not part of the bridal party, and was not told ahead of time there would be a charge to attend. (Cause it’s a bridal shower?!? No one is supposed to charge the guests who come bringing gifts?!?!?)
There were about 27 guests but the group text indicating the charge had 18 people. Seems like the bride, groom, and their family, and close friends (3) were not charged. The other bridesmaids are also charged per person since they did not want to pay for the event.

The event was hosted at a restaurant, there were appetizers and entree. Drinks were not included. No goodie bags or party favors were given, decor minimal.

Just hearing everyone talk so highly of the MOH that she is so generous when she charged everyone pisses me off. Who does that.

Originally posted in etiquette but was removed as a ranting post sorry.

I did not pay

8.31.2026 update: MOH privately messaged me for the money. MOH said she’s covering for the close friends and family, but $150 is excessive even at that price. I checked restaurant menu for group dining, $64pp.

Yes, years ago but when I get triggered by them I think about this and how I never expressed how hurt I was.

Our three brothers (I have one, husband has 2) collaborated on a toast and asked for a projector and screen which we paid the hotel/venue for. Is $600 overpriced for this btw? Anyone done this?

ANYWAY it ended up being a vicious roast and because they actually don’t have any beef with us (I swear) it was a bunch of made up sh\*% just to get laughs. Or stuff like this (typing fast/ranting so thank you for sticking with me 🤪):

- showed a pic of us on a trip to Disney. And mocked us because we stayed at a friend’s place and my husband’s uncle works for Disney and was able to get us free tickets that day. So they were calling us cheap when *they’re* the cheap ones!

a) we gave his uncle a gift even though the tickets were free to him. We also took our friend out to a nice dinner as a thank you for letting us stay at their place. On the flip side my husband and I live in a major city and CONSTANTLY have people staying with us. Including our brothers and their families! And the brothers and their families never pay for anything or give a thank you gift when they stay! And we feed them, drive around, airport pick up/drop off, borrow our car, etc. One friend stayed like 3 times/year a week at a time.

b) them calling us cheap standing in the tuxes we paid for 🙄🙄🙄. I can think of so many instances of them being miserly in the face of us being generous to them and their families and I’m only mentioning a few to call out their audacity - We gave generous gifts to their wives (same gifts to the girls in our bridal party, a piece of jewelry they each picked) and gifts for them even though they had $0 expenses for being in our wedding. Clothes paid for, hotel rooms comped, etc. We’ve given so many generous gifts to them, their wives and kids over the years. They do not reciprocate even though we don’t even have kids yet. It’s just the two of us vs each of them being a family of 4-5. Before marriage, it was just me giving gifts to my brother’s family of 4. Prob same for my husband and they’re calling *us* cheap. Wtf. One SIL/BIL who is local came to our wedding shower with their kids and their gift was the punch she made for the shower. Right before I gave her a birthday gift…for my birthday later she gave me the flowers that were sitting in a vase in their home. Other siblings out of town didn’t send shower gifts but I didn’t expect them to. One SIL’s family came to our wedding and no gift from any of them. They live out of town but were visiting anyway. And our siblings are all rich too! Or at least live that way and prioritize spending on themselves vs reciprocating to others and letting us pay for things when we’re a lot younger and not as financially stable We gave them more for their wedding gifts as young, single adults than they did from their larger families as older, more established adults. My husband lived with his brother for 1 month before we moved in together and they had him pay for their weekly cleaning service as rent. SIL is a sahm. The best part is that when they were having their fancy home renovation prior to this, they moved in with family and didn’t pay anything. My husband also has extremely high, ongoing medical expenses through no fault of his own but we still prioritize giving to others and causes (they’re proud to say they never donate to charity 🙄) so to be called cheap in front of all our guests (when again, they’re the cheap-asses) really pissed me off. Thanks for reading my rant.

| (25F) have known and been friends with Lucy (25F) since we were 11 years old. We video called everyday, helped each other through a lot of different things that went on in our personal lives, and told each other everything (or so | thought). I knew that throughout our friendship she's lied about a couple of things, but they were mostly small things or things that didn't concern me, so although it bothered me a little, I always let it go. She's always said that she sees me as a sister more than a friend.

Nearly 5 years ago, Lucy met her now husband and her personality completely changed. She started keeping our friendship very separate from her day-to-day life, and to me it felt like she was suddenly living 2 lives - what she'd tell me and what I'd then see on her social media. I've never ever met her husband; I asked to many times and her excuse was that he had no interest in meeting her friends and she'd never met any of his. Around 2 years ago, she got married.
When she got engaged, she invited both me and my husband (boyfriend at the time) to her wedding. A couple of months later, she told me she didn't have the space, so uninvited my husband. I was quite surprised because I didn't know anyone else there and I'd been dating him for around 3 years at that point, but I kept quiet and told her I'd still go on my own. On the lead up to her wedding, she kept saying things that made me feel as though she hoped I wouldn't go. For example, she'd made it a point to say that I wouldn't know anyone there and I'd be the only English speaker there, all things which made me feel uncomfortable, so eventually I told her it was fine and I wouldn't go. She seemed relieved by that. Her wedding day was one of the hardest days of my life, I cried in bed all day while my husband comforted me and had to watch the whole thing through her siblings' instagram stories. I was heartbroken but didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin her day. We'd been friends for so long and talked about being each other's MOH so many times, it was really hard.

After that day, I started being more distant and I think we could both feel a shift in our friendship. Fast forward a couple of months later and I got engaged and hadn't replied to her message in around 2 days because I was busy wedding planning. She sent me a message saying that I clearly didn't care and blocked me. I wrote a very long message telling her how I felt and sent it from my husband's phone. I didn't want to reconcile, I just wanted to her to understand where I was coming from and end things on a good note. I didn't and still do recognise that I probably should've told her how I felt a lot sooner and I hold my hands up to that.

A few months later, we got back in touch and properly talked things out. We both wanted to start fresh. I then decided to invite her to my wedding. When I handed her the invitation, she immediately asked me if she could bring her husband and baby, despite me never having met her husband and having told her I wanted a child-free wedding. Against my better judgement and to keep the friendship, I told her she could bring them both. Fast forward a few weeks later, I started to get the feeling she wasn't planning to come. She started saying little things here and there such as "I'd like to have a baby, imagine if I get pregnant and then can't come to your wedding" and
"my husband is going to get a new visa a few months before your wedding, imagine if he doesn't get it in time and then we can't go to your wedding". A couple of weeks later she told me she couldn't come because her husband left the country and couldn't get a visa to come back. I was heartbroken again and cried on the phone to her and told her how hurt I was.
We talked it out and she changed her story and said she couldn't afford to come because I asked her why she couldn't just come without her husband. For context, I'm from another country in Europe and my husband is British, so we decided to get married in my country. A couple of days later, she tells me she's heading to a family member's wedding abroad in a different European country a month after my wedding, who she allegedly doesn't even like.

I had my wedding last month, she didn't come. She sent me a text on the morning of my wedding wishing me well, but I could clearly see the text was written by ChatGPT. She's now abroad at someone else's wedding. I'm mentally exhausted of this friendship, ! feel like I've done my best to keep this friendship from falling apart, but I can't do it anymore. I want to cut her off, not just because she didn't come to my wedding, but because of everything else that happened between us and all the lies and excuses I feel she's told me.

Recently was invited to an Evangelical wedding. We (family) were told to arrive at 11 for pictures with the ceremony starting at 2. Photos only took until 12:30.
No snacks or water for a rather long wait. The reception did not begin until 5. There were only a few standing tables, but not enough for everyone. No sitting tables. Chairs along the wall (not enough for everyone).
By the way, the reception was in the gym of the Evangelical megachurch the bride and groom work at and where the groom’s father is a preacher (free reception). We all stood and watched the first dance like we were held at gunpoint. After that, there was no dinner or beverages (alc or non-alc). There were only cupcakes, which you had stand in line in and only get once the bride and groom “thanked” you. With over 200 guests, I wasn’t standing in line. Had to drive to culver’s around 6 after getting hangry and weak since no food around 11.
Consensus: don’t have a tacky cheap wedding with 200 guests when you could’ve spent the same amount of money on a dinner or smaller ceremony with respect to your family.

Note: This was my first evangelical experience.

Another note: the bride had like 3 separate bridal showers and received a bedroom’s worth of grifts.

Extremely long sort of update for everyone asking 2 years ago how this was going to play out. I am the fiancee of the best man/brother in this story.

They got engaged about 2 years ago and there has been drama since they sent out their save the dates. First, the grooms brother was supposed to be the best man in the wedding. Unfortunately the wedding was a really expensive destination wedding abroad in Italy and the best man wasn’t doing well financially so could only commit to a “maybe” RSVP at that time. On top of that, the brother had gotten engaged himself and was planning his own wedding.

After getting more details about the wedding the brother said he could attend but would likely need some help. Either that or accept he couldn’t be able to make it. He promised to support them in any way he could and attend any event/ celebration they had in their home state. The bride and groom stated that they promised each other they wouldn’t spend “a single cent” helping anyone attend. Fair enough, but they also would not accept his brother would not be there.

Before they sent out their save the dates the groom asked his brother when his own wedding was planned for (brother got engaged before groom) and he said Summer or Fall 2026. Groom also wanted to get married 2026 so asked brother to push his wedding out one more year. Freaked out and refused to show up to Christmas with the family after hearing his brother was moving forward as planned.

Groom asked brother in November to plan his bachelor party for July. Brother said yes of course but can we talk about it in December/ January as I have a very busy November with wedding planning. Groom said if he really cared he would have dropped everything to plan it that moment so he was revoking the offer. Ended up getting a coworker to plan it (no one invited to the bachelor party was invited to the wedding and his brother certainly wasn’t invited).

Bride and Groom announced they were hosting a local church wedding for those that they couldn’t invite to Italy. Sent out some invites in December, held the brothers back until brother apologized for “wronging them”. They said if he had funds to pay for a wedding he had funds to attend theirs. When he explained the brides family was paying in full and it was a chill dinner party, they didn’t care. Gave him an invite to the church wedding, at least.

After a conversation about how to share a guest bedroom during Christmas, groom went full on crash out. Told brother and brothers fiancee (me) to go fuck themselves, he’s done with the relationship, he’s choosing to stop caring, families are effortless and safe and so we don’t deserve to be his family. A few months later, revoked the church ceremony invitation after the brother had already RSVPd yes citing unresolved tensions. Gave a 10- numbered list of all the things the brother had done wrong including not making an effort to attend his destination wedding, stealing his wedding year, stuff about a guest bedroom and Christmas party and finally using the same suit vendor (grooms father paid for both his sons suits). Said he would re invite if brother groveled.

They uninvited several family members from the church wedding citing lack of space. (I went, there was plenty of space). They demanded it not be called a wedding as they wanted to keep their destination wedding as the one people remember. Groom changed his name to the brides (not inherently an issue however he stated it was because her family “does more” for him aka is richer). MOG cried.

They hosted a bridal shower and invited every family member they could, most of which had not gotten an invite to either wedding (or had been previously invited but then uninvited to the church ceremony) This did not go over well with the more traditional family members. Registry included new house fund (they already own a house), honeymoon fund (they are taking a 6 week honeymoon abroad).

The grooms family who were invited to the destination wedding included his parents and 2 cousins (neither of which were allowed to bring their husbands). The groom forced his mom to wear dark grey despite her crying about it. She said the color depressed her for such a gorgeous summer wedding and she would wear anything else as long as it was a color. They said you wear grey or you’re not allowed to be in photos. They invited his dad to be a groomsman and get ready with them, leaving his mom to get ready alone the day of. Oh, and he also made his parents bring back his tux despite them needing carry on space for their trip the week after since he sold his wedding as an opportunity for an abroad trip for everyone.

A few days after his wedding the groom texted his brother that he will not be able to attend the wedding later this year. He will be too tired from his honeymoon and it is unrealistic to expect him to drive a few hours to attend a wedding during his own wedding year.

The wedding happened and the photos are insanely gorgeous. Easily a 100k wedding. The bride had 2 extravagant dresses and 2 hair and makeup looks, fresh flowers everywhere including orchids, fireworks, private boat ride, live orchestra, videography, 2 photographers since they couldn’t decide on style. And yet the groom does not have one family member that is not mad at him.

Title says it all!

Now I need to start by saying my sister has had a history of friends being unreliable, and I got to see that firsthand. My sister planned to have 8 bridesmaids. She initially wanted a small list, but the groom wanted all of his boys to be his groomsmen. So my sister chose me and our other sister, her two best friends (who have been around a long time), and four other girls I had never met and barely heard about. And of those four other girls, three of them dropped out in the final three weeks leading up to the wedding.

Bridesmaid A dropped out during the second day of the bachelorette trip. Why? Because she had gotten into a screaming match with the groom's sister the first night of the bachelorette trip and decided she didn't "feel comfortable" being in the bridal party (which the groom's sister wasn't in). She also kept picking at my other non-bride sister, who is like the most meek and chill person I know. Okay, cool, the trash took itself out. Ironically, for bridesmaid A, the groom's sister stepped up and filled her role.

Bridesmaid B dropped out three days before the wedding. To be fair, she had a medical emergency, and her doctor basically told her not to go. However, this sent my sister into a spiral, and she texted all the bridesmaids to confirm that they are still coming. She explicitly said, "hey things happen, I just need to know if you're coming." All but one replied "Of course. See you in a couple of days."

That one was Bridesmaid C.

Now, Bridesmaid C apparently has a reputation for being really bad at communicating, but she is allegedly very loyal when she is needed. Like "she may not always come when you call, but she'll be there on time" type stuff. This is because she travels a lot for work. Throughout lead up to the wedding, she barely chimed in on group texts, barely showed up for virtual stuff, and didn't show up for in person stuff. But importantly, another bridesmaid vouched for her, saying she was a loyal and dependable friend, just bad at texting and facetime. Bridesmaid C texted my sister THE MORNING OF THE REHEARSAL, saying "hey I've been doing some thinking, and I'm just not in the headspace to be in your wedding. I need to focus on me. I'm sorry."My sister got engaged two years before her wedding, so Bridesmaid C had plenty of time to figure out her shit.

My sister was really hurt by all of this, and I'm not sure if her relationship with Bridesmaid A or Bridesmaid C will recover. Moral of the Story: Pick bridesmaid that will not flake on you during the home stretch.

Edit: Grammar, I'm super tired, y'all!

In 2008, a cousin of mine was getting married. She was from the “rich” side of the family. My side of the family was pretty excited, because it was a long awaited wedding and we generally liked the bride. She was sweet and more down to earth than the rest.

We all RSVPed yes. (10 from my side were invited.) Then we got access to their registry.

The least expensive item was $385. Some kind of super fancy toaster oven.

We were a bit stunned. My family was going through a particularly rough time and several of us were living almost hand to mouth. Survival.

There was no way any of us would ever be able to buy anything off that. 12 place settings of formal and everyday china, sterling sliver serving ware and cutlery, an $800 set of knives.

The most expensive—at $3000–was a year of monthly floral bouquets.

(If you put a year of floral deliveries on your registry, you don’t need a registry, but I digress…)

My mom called the matriarch of the other side to diplomatically ask if we could give cash. We were told that was completely tacky. Absolutely not. We wanted my mom to explain we couldn’t afford anything on the registry but she chickened out and got off the phone.

At that point, we decided to pool our money and buy the $385 toaster oven. Came out to just under $40 each. If we could’ve done cash, we probably each would have done a 20, because even that would have hurt, but we agreed we wanted to not cause drama, just pony up for the toaster oven.

We got it. My mom did the little electronic card and she signed all our names.

Matriarch calls us about to have a fucking stroke. THAT’S FROM ALL OF YOU?!

Yes. It’s all we could afford. The matriarch read my mom for filth until she was crying.

(Yes, I hated that bish.)

Few days later, we get a card from the matriarch saying we should just probably stay home. Not joking. I remember just being gobsmacked by it.

They were rescinding our invitations because we didn’t spend enough on the gift(s).

My brother and one cousin were so pissed, they crashed the wedding anyway. Didn’t tell any of us they were doing it, just did it. They didn’t cause any trouble. Didn’t try to eat or drink, just wanted to make sure certain people saw them. And they did.

After that, we were told our side of the family was “dead to them.”

Here’s the happy ending:

1. We never again had to hear about their drunken vacations on yachts in the Mediterranean.

2. We were able to return the fucking oven. My mom cancelled it before it shipped, then she had to go to the department store and talk to someone and it looked like they were gonna be dicks, but she started crying and hey sometimes tears help.

3. The couple divorced in 2012. He was busted by the IRS for tax fraud and tax evasion and she has a serious girlfriend now!

Don’t be greedy, kids!

My sister got married a few weeks ago and this still haunts me. Beautiful ceremony, so happy for them! They start walking down the aisle and my parents directly followed them. I panicked instantly. I tried to get their attention but it didnt work. I awkwardly followed them and ended up just giving my grandma her walker and then went back to my seat. But their walk down the aisle moment was ruined (in my eyes). My sister and her husband are really chill and probably didnt care but my wedding is in 2027 and ill definitely be letting them know that no one leaves their seat until we fully walk down the aisle.

Edit: Im sorry for not adding in any ‘haha’s or ‘lol’s. It seems like this came across as if i was mortified. It was just a little awkward! Didnt mean to make it seem like it was a big deal but from rereading my post, yeah “it was ruined in my eyes” is dramatic 😂

We didnt have a rehearsal for those wondering. There were no instructions for the family really so in that regard its fair game. It wasnt a precessional, just my parents two steps behind them, no one else (well me too kinda). Traditionally, the bride and groom walk down by themselves and do another photo at the end of the ailse.

Another note is they did candid and film photography so they wont be edited out of the photos lol. I wanted them to have that special ‘end of the aisle’ photo because the officiant forgot to give them the Polaroid camera during the ceremony so they can take a photo of each other in the moment. I was scrambling around all day trying to make sure it was perfect for her because she deserves that.

Again, it was just an awkward moment at the end of the ceremony.

I told my cousin who received these texts that is NOT wedding etiquette and we can’t believe he sent out this message to her and maybe other relatives! Don’t have a wedding if you can’t afford it… so now there’s unspoken family drama because his mom most likely does not know about his rude behavior & still frequents with cousins family/parents who are now heartbroken. So folks, just be aware of this wedding etiquette :3

I am in the part of life where every and anyone I know is getting married. I was just invited to my first destination wedding to France. My husband and I are highly considering as it would be fun but one detail that I thought was a little weird was that the bride (my friend) and groom on their rsvp are asking people to venmo THEM to cover their stay at the “chateau” I asked friend prior to knowing this about her wedding and she said she chose her venue because it was “all inclusive and they had to book out the whole chateau anyways so it would be nice for all the guest to stay on site” yes, for any wedding we’d of course pay for our accommodations no doubt but it also just sounds weird that the bride and groom are actually asking guest to venmo them for their portion when they HAD to rent out the whole chateau anyways. (Edit: like truly this venue is only a wedding venue so no matter what if they wanted their wedding to be there they had to also rent out the chateaus so basically apart of the venue fee) To me it just sounds like they’re having a wedding they can’t afford and having the guest pay for it but truly I could be wrong.

Again I’m not sure if this is proper destination wedding etiquette, so I’m just curious. So if this is proper, let me know!

Update: I’d like to add I didn’t add the “tacky” category! moderators changed it to that! And a little more context, we are flying from US, west coast. I just did more research on the venue, so it turns out it’s more so we are paying for a bed.(I will not be sharing venue name, sorry!) The venue doesn’t necessarily have separate bedrooms, in the photos it looks like one bed is in an open room that’s connected to the kitchen. And it looks like there are separate houses so not technically a chateau? Unfortunately I’m not too versed in types of homes. But I see one house is almost like a loft layout where there is one bed on the main floor and then stairs up to the loft with another bed up top. A little red flag for me is I’m not seeing pictures of bathrooms for all of the potential houses. Only one house has a picture of a bathroom but it only has a bath tub for a bathing option, no shower head. Granted I understand this is a very historic venue and it’s Europe, it’s not the same as America, I know haha. I know people are opposed to AI but I ran it through chat got and it said “it’s definitely not luxury but more charming rustic chateau vibes” haha. The venue is in the country side so truly the only place to stay is onsite unless you want to try navigating finding a different accommodation on the county side. But just more details for people who were curious!

This happened a while ago, but it still bugs me. We (40s, M&F) had a small (~20 people) destination wedding, with our immediate family and closest friends. None of them live near us, so regardless of location it would have been a destination wedding. We picked somewhere special that was accessible, either driving or with a short direct budget flight. We covered everything - boutique 4* hotel 2 nights, breakfast x2, lunch & dinner x2, drinks, sightseeing activity, wedding ceremony etc., except for travel (though I organised a shared shuttle transfer & coordinated flights accordingly).

Everyone was super positive and had a great time, but there was this one couple that, on reflection, I felt was a bit disrespectful & inconsiderate. No single big thing, just lots of small things that added up. My husband was great friends (15+ years) with the husband (let's call him John), but they had somewhat fallen out of touch since he met his wife (Jane). My husband had only met Jane once, and felt John changed a lot since he met Jane.

Here's what happened:

- Rather than taking the direct budget flight from their home town (cheaper & faster), they decided to take a normal airline with a layover (only the budget airline had direct flights), which arrived earlier than everyone else. They therefore took a taxi, and complained about the cost. If they'd taken the direct budget flight they could have shared the shuttle transfer and paid much less, but they didn't want to fly budget. That's their choice, but the complaining was annoying.

- They arrived early afternoon, and we had previously agreed we would have a coffee/drink with them then, but on they day of they just ignored us when we tried to suggest a time. Again, their choice, but it was a bit disappointing given we were expecting to meet them and then they just blew us off. [We did catch up separately with everyone else who had arrived early/left late].

- The first evening, the programme started at 7pm with a welcome speech, drinks and dinner (set for 7.30pm). They didn't show until after 8pm (mostly ignoring our texting & calling) because it was raining, and they "didn't want to get wet" walking from the room (it was a 1-2 minute walk and big umbrellas were available). We kept having to delay the speech until they finally arrived, and the kitchen was going frantic, as dinner ended up being over an hour late starting. I was honestly pissed off, it affected everyone (many were tired after travelling), and they kept being evasive! [Based on their mini-bar wine consumption, I suspect they were just enjoying the time in their room...].

- During the sightseeing activity the next morning, I noticed that Jane was wearing the same colours as me, just opposite - I had a white top and pink skirt, and she had white shorts and a matching pink top. I mentioned that it was funny how we were "twinning", and she snapped back "oh don't worry, I'm not going to wear white and try to outshine you later". There was no dresscode for the morning and I just thought it was a fun coincidence, so I found her reaction rather odd.

- We had specified multiple times that the dresscode for the ceremony was black tie for men, and that everyone should go dressed up to the ceremony as a) the photos would be taken straight after, and b) there would be no time to change before dinner. Actually, it was one of our male guests who suggested black tie (we initially didn't want to be too strict), so we checked upfront with everyone. We also put this on the website, invites, programme & in the welcome speech. Somehow... John "forgot". He showed up in a tan suit, which majorly stands out in the photos as he's the only one not in black tie. At the time, I just thought it was a shame that John had forgotten his black tie...

- BUT, John had actually brought black tie. They had just decided to do an outfit change before dinner, which we had specifically mentioned was a no-go due to timing constraints (and had reminded them AGAIN that morning!). So they turned up almost an hour late to the wedding dinner, missing the first course. Also, instead of just sneaking in quietly, they made quite a show with the entrance so everyone would notice. At this point, it just felt like they had to be purposefully ignoring the instructions, there was no way they could have missed it and nobody else had any issues. I was kind of irritated, but TBH, they just looked really stupid being late again, and this time we hadn't been able to wait for them/knew better than to try, so it didn't matter.

- At some point during the dinner, Jane insulted my mother. She asked what my mother did for work, and when my mother told her about her 40+ year career that she is very proud of, Jane basically said "oh that's such a stupid job, you could make it all up and no one would know" (which, not true, but FWIW "making it up" applies to a lot of jobs, including both Jane's and John's). It's a bit of an odd/insulting thing to say to anyone, let alone the bride's mother!

- That evening, after dinner we had drinks and music (my husband had prepared a playlist, and was playing this from his phone). They monopolised the music, playing tunes from their youth, which they were tipsily singing along/half-dancing to. I am from a different culture, and did not know a single tune (I don't even speak the language), and they know this, so it felt a bit unfriendly. I tried to change the music, unsuccessfully, then decided it wasn't worth the fight (my husband is from the same culture, so he was semi-OK with it, just a bit miffed his playlist went largely unused).

- The final day, I offered to people who were driving home to take some flowers. Jane immediately jumped in, and asked if she could take some, saying "I'll always take a bunch of flowers so I can tell the airline I just got married and get a free upgrade". I was fine with her taking flowers, but that just seemed... tacky. [Again, they didn't take the shared transfer to the airport, because, reasons].

- On a separate note: gifts. I know there's no obligation to give a gift, but... They gave us a gift for around 200. For comparison, we spent about 1500 pp/3000 per couple all in. Together they earn mid 6 figures, so 200 is a drop in the ocean for them. A similar couple gave us a gift around 700, and those earning significantly less (combined (very) low 6 figures) were in the range 300-500. Like, don't get me wrong, I appreciate they gave us a gift at all, but it just felt a bit... insulting.

Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest. It was just a series of small actions that seemed a bit disrespectful & inconsiderate, and afterwards when I put it all together left me with a slightly bad feeling - especially as they were supposed to be some of our closest friends, it was such a small "intimate" wedding, and we had covered everything during their stay.

Note I do not condone this, nor do I think it was necessarily good parenting.

I have this cousin "Carolyn", and she is just honestly the sweetest, kindest person. She just wants everyone to be happy. She met this man randomly in a traffic accident and fell madly in love. It was like something out of a fairytale and we were all so happy for her.

Her fiancé had a teenage daughter "Valerie" and she was not nice. At first everyone in the family gave her a big benefit of the doubt, because she was a teen and adjusting to her dad being in a relationship, but Valerie was simply awful to everyone.

One time Carolyn made her a birthday cake. She gave it one look and said "I didn't ask for this and that isn't even the purple I like" She also got in some serious trouble for bullying at school. She regularly implied Carolyn was a gold digger, made up fake stories about her cheating on her dad, and tried to accuse her of stealing some family heirloom jewelry (which was ultimately found hidden in Valerie's closet)

Anyway Valerie made wedding planning hell. She refused to be in the ceremony in any way, refused to coordinate colors, and kept saying she was going to "faint" so she could go to the hospital. On the morning of the wedding, she told Carolyn she looked fat in her dress, told me I looked "anemic and dead", and tried to hit on a 40 something year old groomsman.

Her dad respected her wishes not to be in the ceremony. She sulked in the audience with her arms crossed. She sulked in the pictures with her perpetual frown. This wedding took place at an old estate on a lake. We were all taking pictures on a dock. The groom whispered to Carolyn "wait for it" and then his best friend and his brother each picked Valerie up by one arm pit and tossed her off the dock. Again probably not great parenting or effective discipline, but the pictures were epic. the photographer was a family friend who made sure to get the whole thing.

She came out soaked, slightly muddy, and with this giant weed stuck to her. Her father told her she was never going to disrespect his wife again, and two bridesmaids were tasked with making sure there was no funny business at the reception.

That was years ago, Carolyn and her husband are still the cutest couple ever. Carolyn got lucky and Valerie moved across the country, married some rich stock broker type, and still doesn't see even a little bit of humor in it. She did do some self reflection though and came up with "I think I'm angry all the time because I'm smarter than everyone"

I got married a week ago with a small group of 20 people total. I did not invite my 3 younger cousins nor did I send them a message in advance letting them know they'll be invited to our big reception next year. I noticed one of them unfollowed me and removed me as a follower on instagram after the wedding. My family is already in a tumultuous state, they talk bad about me and my mom, never invite us to anything, aren’t really in our lives (and we have tried to make things work with them.) but still I feel a little bad because I think I clearly hurt her feelings. I’m trying to think about if I should reach out to talk or just leave it be. Part of me just wants to leave it alone because, like I said, they talk bad about us and never invite us anywhere; however, I am also the oldest of everyone and I just don’t want to go tit for tat. I’m just torn

My SIL’s best friend, “Amy,” is getting married in two weeks. Amy has been SIL’s BFF since college; years ago, she moved to my in-laws’ hometown, found a partner and a job here, and settled down. She’s basically part of the family, although she’s someone I’ve personally met maybe ten times in three years.

Because of that, we volunteered to help with wedding setup. We gave her the leftover favors from our wedding last year—folding fans and little “just in case” baggies—and agreed to let the happy couple borrow our outdoor furniture, signage, lawn games, party games, etc.

It’s worth noting that Amy and her FH own a home, come from upper-middle-class backgrounds, are both well employed, etc. They’ve chosen to save money by taking an “it takes a village” approach to throwing their wedding and leaning on their support network. Apparently, that support network includes us.

Today, we got an email from SIL, who is the MOH, telling everyone who had volunteered to help set up the furniture and decorations that we also needed to sign up to bring a food item for the 75-person welcome party. We weren’t asked whether we wanted to help cater it; there wasn’t a discussion. Apparently, this welcome party is going to feature Greek food, and we’re now expected to help cook and clean, in addition to everything else.

Anyway, did you know you can order 360 dolmas from WebstaurantStore for less than $50? Because I do now.