r/parentsofmultiples • u/MrsKay1516 • 9h ago
advice needed Twins vs one
Please all parents tell me how hard it was having twins vs having one, was it super hard and also when nursing if you nursed how hard or easy was it. Please anything helps.
2
u/DraNoSrta 7h ago
I've been exclusively breastfeeding my twins since we left the NICU, bar the ocassional bottle when I have to be away for whatever reason.
We had some amazing nurses and a great lactation consultant in the NICU who helped me leave with two 37 week adjusted babies tandem feeding, which they did for about 3 months. After that, I've been feeding one at a time, because they get too distracted by eachother.
My breastfeeding has been relatively easy all things considered - I make more than enough milk, my twins have decent latches, my anatomy is conducive to feeding tiny tiny people, no one needed extensive supports,, and I have a lot of ore existing training in handling preemies from my job
It has still been incredibly hard. I made it to where we are because I've had great support and decent luck. My husband is still home in leave with me, 6 months in, because we live in a country where we can both take extensive leave. We also have the financial security to make that less impactful. My mother moved in with us for a couple months to get through cluster feeding and recovery from a pretty uncomplicated vaginal birth. My twin A had a nursing strike at 7 weeks and my husband fed her a bottle after every unsuccessful latch, washed all pump parts and bottles, and still found time and energy to take care of me. I have a great medical team who has helped me tackle PPD and all issues, and I can see my wonderful GP next day if needed.
The biggest take away for me is that the goal is safe, healthy, happy babies, in that order. They may not be happy in the moment, but if they are safe and healthy, you're doing what needs to be done.
One way or another, time keeps moving forward. You've got this.
2
u/kziele 1h ago
I just met a woman (I was buying double stroller from her) who told me that her twins were easier than her first singleton because her first was high need. She said that obviously some things are harder because you have to do everything twice but the temperament really makes a difference.
My first singleton left me with some kind of ptsd I joke, because she really was something. But I hope that my twins now will be calmer and it's gonna be fine. Although remembering my first kid and imagining have 2 kids like that... If that happens I'm gonna need antidepressants for sure this time. I barely made it without them last time.
2
u/CharacterBusiness777 1h ago
This was my experience. My twins were way easier than my first. In fact, even at age 3, I still find them easier to manage than my 7 year old. Some kids are "orchid" children or deep feeling and their personalities are just harder. My twins were a breeze in comparison and mat leave was so fun!
1
u/MrsKay1516 2m ago
Thank you all so much for your input on this topic I really appreciate it, it helps me to see things from different views. 😊
8
u/barrnac13 7h ago
I had 2 singletons then twins. A lot of how hard vs easy it is depends on the baby’s temperament and also how that does or doesn’t work with the parents’ temperaments. A colicky singleton can be harder than chill twins. Fussy twins and very anxious first time parents without much help at home could be very very hard.
I say my twins were objectively the hardest newborn experience, since yes, there were two of them at once, but also subjectively the easiest. With two older kids, I knew in my bones how fleeting the baby stage is. Both the precious parts and the parts that suck. It will be a memory very soon.