r/memes • u/Parker1055 • 14h ago

Thankfully not the case

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30.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

282 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/MichHAELJR 13h ago

  1. Quicksand

  2. Kidnappers in white windowless vans offering me candy

  3. People offering me drugs for free

823

u/Sea_Pea8536 13h ago

Also, the Bermuda triangle

582

u/Nick0Taylor0 12h ago

Piranhas were also massively oversold to me

97

u/perish-in-flames 12h ago

At least in the right circumstances, piranhas are terrifying

50

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 11h ago

Seen people fish for them.

You stick a piece of meat in the water and when they come for it you lift it out and drop them in the bucket because they fall off after they're done taking a bite

Lather, rinse, repeat until you're out of meat or you have enough fish

17

u/zebrasareneat 6h ago

I fished for them when I was in the Amazon. Chunk of meat on a hook and you were pretty much guaranteed to catch one. 

Tasted really good too.  

7

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 5h ago

I hate most fish but I always wondered if they were any good, when I say I've seen people fish for them I meant I've seen videos, wouldn't have had a chance to try them

Gator hunting is pretty interesting too because you use bait the same way, gator is probably top of my list to try because everyone says it tastes like chicken but some people say "okay yeah but kind of like if chicken was a little fishy"

8

u/999BusinessCard 4h ago

Gator tastes so much like chicken that if it’s battered and fried, I guarantee almost every child would think they’re eating chicken nuggets. Adults would be like “hmm this is a little different… maybe a slight fishy flavor?” but it’s nothing overwhelming and not even unpleasant to people who generally don’t like fish.

The most interesting thing about gator hunting is how they’re killed. You restrain them by attaching a 2” wooden peg to a sturdy line and covering the peg with bait (beef lung works great). When the gator swallows the peg, it gets caught behind the palatal valve at the back of their mouth. Then you pull the gator alongside your boat and get your bang stick ready.

A bang stick is a pole that is fitted on the tip with a firearm cartridge, usually a .44 mag or a 12ga shotgun shell. The device is rigged to fire when pressed against something. So you poke the bang stick into the gator’s head right between the eyes, the round fires, and the gators head is destroyed.

Then you haul it in, gut it, skin it, and you’re ready to cook. A trendy way to prepare gator is to smoke it whole. Other people only eat the tail, which is the most popular cut of gator meat.

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17

u/Waveofspring 11h ago

The right circumstances being a drunk person passing out in a stream full of them

10

u/AbekobetaHawawa 8h ago

I've swam 10 feet from where we fished for piranhas in the Bolivian Amazon. The don't attack healthy individuals.

3

u/AquaWinter691 9h ago

If you keep a swarm of them isolated and starved nearly to death yeah

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11

u/Lil_Bigz 10h ago

Same with rattlesnakes for some reason, and I grew up in the midwest

4

u/It_Was_Me_Aust1n Average r/memes enjoyer 12h ago

A boy caught a big one in Philadelphia last month.

3

u/Historical_Tax3222 10h ago

Totally unrelated but your pfp is my steam pop and ive never seen anyone else put in the wild use it till today

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2

u/CleanDataDirtyMind 9h ago

I’ve eaten fried piranha the little kid in me died a little bit as I ate this fmr fearful predator lol

2

u/OtisPan 5h ago

Poisoned Halloween candy was a biggie 'round these parts.

27

u/Firebirdgaming08 13h ago

And a ship sinking while on it

9

u/Ok-Cricket5606 10h ago

alien abductions for me

98

u/admiralvee 13h ago

I too, believed quicksand was going to be a major danger as I grew up. Also, never once in my 40 some years on earth have I ever been offered drugs. Not once.

63

u/Razor309 13h ago

Blink twice if you are still in the van

18

u/perish-in-flames 12h ago

Never been offered drugs, even when hanging out with this girl that I later learned was on meth.

But did get offered a drink by a coworker on break before.

14

u/PickButtkins 12h ago

Yeah, them methies ain't too keen on sharing

8

u/HugeAnimeHonkers 11h ago

Meth heads arent known for being "charitable" with their meth.

Now coke heads, on the other hand...

5

u/sharkMonstar 10h ago

She probably saved you the trouble of oding on meth

9

u/SirMuckingHam24 9h ago

I was offered drugs once. When I kept walking, the guy yelled out "IT'S OK! I WENT BALD AT A YOUNG AGE AS WELL!"

My hairline was barely receding at the time, so that legit came out of nowhere

weird interaction

3

u/Mogura56 7h ago

At the time? Maybe in his drug addled haze he saw the future

4

u/pillbuggery 8h ago

Also, never once in my 40 some years on earth have I ever been offered drugs

That's really more a matter of where you've been/the company you keep than anything else.

2

u/perton 8h ago

Used to happen to me pretty often in my youth! But then, from my teenage years on I’ve basically always looked like (and generally been) a big ol’ burnout, so that probably helped.

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55

u/Nozarashi78 Thank you mods, very cool! 13h ago

The sun fucking exploding

22

u/SandCat39 12h ago

well you wouldn’t know for 8 minutes 🤷‍♂️

2

u/SeaPollution2750 11h ago

A couple years in Cincinnati.

28

u/_mbals 13h ago

DARE scared me into thinking I was going to constantly offered drugs. It’s happened exactly zero times.

5

u/KnuckleShanks 10h ago

The funny thing is if you wore a DARE shirt today you would almost certainly be offered drugs.

You probably just look like someone who wouldn't be interested. You need something to signal that you'd be ok to approach with an offer like that (if that's actually what you want). Nobody is gonna offer if they think the answer will be no.

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4

u/mysterious_spirit420 12h ago

Lol sad I've been offered so many drugs its wild. DARE was right about that for me mainly for methamphetamine, mdma, and cocaine tho

2

u/jordanundead 10h ago

It’s happened to me twice that I can recall. One time I was walking down the street in Canoga Park when a guy said hey man, you want some free weed? I had a dispensary card so I just said no thank you.

Second time I was delivering for Walmart and the guy delivered to said hey you like weed? And tipped me with an eighth.

10

u/Busy_Tuesday 13h ago

The drugs for free one doesn't seem so bad as an adult actually.

16

u/_____rs 13h ago

Not waiting 30 minutes after eating before swimming.

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7

u/KitchenFullOfCake 12h ago

The best way to get offered drugs for free is to not be much of a drug guy in my experience. I get offered so many drugs.

6

u/socialistrob 10h ago

Same. Usually it's by my friends who do drugs the same way that people offer someone a drink if you're over at their house. I've never been "pressured" to do drugs but on a number of occasions I've been told "hey we're going to do some shrooms want to join us?"

6

u/superdupercereal2 10h ago

Spontaneous human combustion lol

5

u/tblazertn 13h ago

Drug needles and razors in my Halloween candy

3

u/saltysophia98 12h ago edited 11h ago

Believe me or not, I actually saved someone from what could be considered quicksand a few years ago. We were walking around in a lakebed that had dried up due to recent droughts and when they stepped onto a patch of sand/mud that looked solid, they sunk, fast. They were above their bellybutton in mud within a few seconds and were getting close to their armpits so I told them to stop moving and hand me their gear (since they were a professional photographer/videographer), then had them lean forward/crawl over the surface so that I could help pull them free. They lost a pair of $500 hiking boots but managed to save nearly $10000 in camera equipment so they considered it a win lmao.

3

u/BasedKetamineApe 11h ago

Actually had a woman in a white van tryna kidnap me when I was a kid lol

2

u/Theslootwhisperer 12h ago

Snow crevices.

2

u/Public_Weather_1248 12h ago

and blackholes

2

u/SuccessfulWar3830 11h ago

On a trip in high school a kid put his foot in quick sand. So was a small problem

2

u/Sweaty_Marzipan4274 10h ago

I actually tried to get kidnapped as a kid bc I thought out meant they wanted a child to raise, didn't know about the bad stuff 😆.  Didn't get kidnapped tho, so only grew more depressed a no one wanted me 

2

u/Eyevis 9h ago

People offering me drugs for free

You're going to the wrong parties fam

2

u/the_Archmage 8h ago

People hoisting pianos up multi-floor buildings

2

u/GroundbreakingEnd709 8h ago

I have experienced something like quicksand as a child, it was what my dad calls quickmud. I was walking in the creek and I started sinking into the mud as I was walking so I tried heading for land but eventually I couldn't move my legs anymore because they were so stuck in the mud and I just kept going down. This was still in the creek so there was a some water overtop of the mud and I got far enough that the water was reached my shoulders and half my body was down in the mud, I tried doing the whole kicking my legs up and leaning back but that didn't work and I couldn't lean back too far or my head would be underwater. Eventually my dad found me and pulled me out after some time I also got cut by something when I got pulled out.

Conclusion mud can be fuckin scary and deceiving also there is oftentimes things like broken glass in it

2

u/MichHAELJR 7h ago

Yup lots of horrific stories of soldiers being swallowed my mud in shell holes in WW1.

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3.7k

u/Content-Audience252 Average r/memes enjoyer 13h ago

Nah, I think they placed them in the Strait of Hormuz. So still a problem

1.5k

u/99Luff_Balloon 13h ago

They don't blow you up directly, they just double your gas price at the pump instead.

364

u/bootskadew 13h ago

not this again...

https://giphy.com/gifs/3orifdO6eKr9YBdOBq

56

u/A_Furious_Mind 10h ago

But I wanted many peanuts.

27

u/SirTonebone 8h ago

20 dollars can by many peanuts.

20

u/No_Application_5179 8h ago

Explain how

22

u/mj-and-masturbation 8h ago

Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

2

u/Sawbones90 3h ago

In this economy?

5

u/CaptainHubble 3h ago

+1000 people liked your joke. But I know while upvoting they started tearing up a bit, because they got reminded their car needs a refill soon.

60

u/Bubbly-Watch-8973 12h ago

They got banana peels and quicksand over there too? 

10

u/MimicoSkunkFan2 9h ago

We have a lot more metaphorical sea mines and quicksand than we do metaphorical banana peels, just now.

We're working on supply rerouting because of the US starting a trade war with us, but hopefully the next week or two... Do you wanna freezy pop while you're waiting?

20

u/Fit_Adagio_7668 11h ago

Straight up hormuzzing it

12

u/These-Look8843 12h ago

Way to ruin my childhood innocence with global trade route logistics. Thanks for the 3 AM Wikipedia rabbit hole, I guess.

10

u/opinionsOnPears 11h ago

except for the one in some English guys barn

3

u/perton 8h ago

Yarp

10

u/Not-TheNSA 8h ago

Was about to say, idk what planet OP is living on but naval mines are definitely a big problem in my adult life currently.

3

u/Not_Marre 12h ago

someone i know had one stuck there last year too

3

u/Academic-moron7423 10h ago

Well easy, don’t fuck with the strait of Hormuz then, eh?

2

u/TelluricThread0 11h ago

Those were inflated trash bags.

2

u/HausuGeist 10h ago

Strait Outta Hormuz Strait Outta Gas

2

u/wurmsrus 8h ago

Do modern mines look like that though?

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427

u/froggertthewise 13h ago

The real problem in life is obviously quicksand

62

u/Waveofspring 11h ago

Nah nah, it’s getting on Santa’s naughty list

14

u/The_New_Overlord Selling Stonks for CASH MONEY 11h ago

Other people developing a fear of quicksand

vs

Me developing a fetish for quicksand

9

u/SeaPollution2750 11h ago

Sandy, I don't wanna know.

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175

u/Mehdals_ 13h ago

You must still be on Adult Life Level 1, Level 2 is an underwater level and these guys and air bubbles are a giant pain in the ass, nothing compared to student debt but still a big pain in the ass.

27

u/masclean 13h ago

Just wait til you hit all the whirlpools

6

u/doom_stein 12h ago

STOP!!!! I'm having NES TMNT flashbacks!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/vFWXKT2L5tR63jT8Si

5

u/elitegenoside 9h ago

The mines are super avoidable but it's the damn piranha that always chase you into them! That's what happened to my older brother.

3

u/BufferUnderpants 10h ago

Adult Level 2 = you have loans to pay, and the oil prices rising because of these things are making you cling for dear life to your shitty job

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2

u/thatspurdyneat 11h ago

Was Stockton Rush on level 2 then?

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202

u/Woodland_Abrams 13h ago

I mean they legitimately are, look at how much they've raised oil prices in the last year

19

u/socialistrob 10h ago

Also for decades the US military didn't have any but just in the last couple years placed their first order for naval mines as competition with China heats up.

3

u/RT-LAMP 6h ago

I mean that's just straight up not true.

The MK 67 Submarine Launched Mobile Mine has been in service since 1987 and the the Quickstrike series of aerially delivered mines have been not only in service but in continuous production since 1983 with advancements like incorporating JDAM kits onto them in 2014.

There are more mines being developed now such as the MK 68 bottom influence mine which is a mine intended to be delivered by drone submarines, the Hammerhead encapsulated torpedo, and extended range wingkit equipped or even more extended range powered versions the Quickstrike series of mines. But the US most definitely did have mines over the past few decades.

25

u/Silent_Data4374 11h ago

Who’s going to tell him?

37

u/nsa_k 13h ago

With the current Iran situation, they kind of are.

14

u/BorrowedBike 11h ago

Welllllll…..

8

u/emotionless-robot 13h ago

I always thought this considering Minesweeper was always pre-installed on all Windows computers and even some phones.

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u/FhuckNorris247 13h ago

They are if you are in the strait of hormuz

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6

u/ezekiel310398 13h ago

They are in mine....🫩

5

u/JusticarX 2h ago

These, volcanoes, quicksand, and needing to stop drop and roll

3

u/bluris 12h ago

Nah, I was worried about quicksand and the Bermuda triangle.

4

u/Zorg_Employee 12h ago

I think those are still kinda a problem in the north sea. Like stuff from ww1 still washes up occasionally.

3

u/scratchy_mcballsy 9h ago

Imagine quicksand filled with these and piranhas.

3

u/Upset_Spell3831 9h ago

Same with quicksand

3

u/OnlyFannins 6h ago

Have you not been paying attention to geopolitics lately!? lmao

3

u/AStrandedSailor 1h ago

Nah, Microsoft prepared me on how to figure out where they were.

3

u/Real_RumpleStiltskin 13h ago

But... But like, almost kinda right now at least. These are (sort of technically partly) the reason gas is so expensive rn. Since the Straight of Hormuz is full of them.

4

u/NeuroticShame 13h ago

What are they?

28

u/Niels_vdk 13h ago

sea mines

9

u/Kody216 10h ago

Nah, its just a load of junk

5

u/turketron 8h ago

I hope you have a license for that rifle

5

u/rezwrrd 7h ago

Y's, f'r this'sn!

6

u/CV90_120 7h ago

Yes for this one.

3

u/NeuroticShame 13h ago

Ah, thank you very much!

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u/BoulderToBirmingham 10h ago

And quicksand

2

u/showmeyourchits 10h ago

POV: Straight of Hormuz right now

2

u/Successful-Cat2108 10h ago

And anyone who was reliant on it for cheaper fuel.

2

u/Addictive_SODA 9h ago

They are. They just look like people now

2

u/SameEntry4434 9h ago

Those and quicksand

2

u/CleanDataDirtyMind 9h ago

I (f) grew up (all the way through my teenage years) near a wildlife refuge that was only half cleared of mines from an old army training camp.  The sections of land where you could go and where you couldn’t were clear enough but when the river got low and you would canoe through an area two hot 18/19 year olds would show up out of the bushes in uniform, to warn you under water land mines.

Is it weird I kinda find them a little…exciting?

2

u/Free_Willingness_118 9h ago

There was a time that in Portugal, they warned to not accept temporary tattoos (like the ones you found in snack bags) from strangers because they might contain drugs.

But yeah, these and quicksand were definitively top 5 worries.

2

u/Academic-Reply2198 7h ago

And quicksand. What happened to all the quicksand

2

u/Boring_Goat_4422 7h ago

"Here comes Hormuz with the steel chair!!" 💣

2

u/YouWillHaveThat 6h ago

Yvan eht nioj!

2

u/BeautifulTerror 5h ago

Quicksand, sharks, etc.

2

u/Fishu4TokenBTDLover 4h ago

Only for Minesweeper Players

2

u/BenShealoch 4h ago

Also: quicksand

3

u/notdurtydan 4h ago

also stampedes?? Did anyone else feel like that was something they also needed to worry about
https://giphy.com/gifs/LTt5W3H1oMxdS

2

u/OK_WELL_SHIT 2h ago

Sea mines. Yep. I still worry about hittin one in the middle of Oklahoma.

2

u/Curious_Associate904 30m ago

Definitely up there with quicksand.

3

u/outofcontextseinfeld 13h ago

As a former kid, I’ve never seen these before so I’ve never been afraid

1

u/Ok-Watercress-1924 13h ago

Wait… but how else do you traverse the high seas?

1

u/Colors_678 13h ago

Did you like grow up in Japan during WW2?? 😂

1

u/waldo0708 13h ago

When I was a kid, I was absolutely terrified of volcanoes and quicksand, sense I live in Michigan. These fears have subsided greatly since my childhood.

1

u/Vulllen 13h ago

You guys do realize that sea mines of today have the ability to know when a tanker ship is above them and Attach to them. They can then be remote detonated anywhere. 🤯

1

u/Powder-Talis-1836 13h ago

"NOT the case" ...Does this mean adults are no longer losing half of their production time at work playing minesweeper anymore? Man these kids are missing out!

1

u/its192731 13h ago

the same problem 6 years ago

1

u/CeC-P 12h ago

I also thought I'd be lighting on fire every other weekend and having to stop, drop, and roll.

That and kidnapped. But I actually lit the kidnapper on fire so they were close lol.

1

u/Pseudolos 12h ago

They are the biggest problem right now...

1

u/Court-Shot 12h ago

It was acid rain for me.

1

u/makawakatakanaka 12h ago

It is a problem in adult life, it’s just a different type of minefield

1

u/WarsmithHonsou 12h ago

As a kid, I see these, and I know a lot of Orks are about to die

1

u/Astroweeb 12h ago

for me it was quicksand and being on fire, I have yet to experience a bad case of either

1

u/Meeztheman 12h ago

Still don’t know how to play Minesweepers💀

1

u/Satanicron 12h ago

I was a nuclear submarine electrician, it literally only came up twice in ways I can't really talk about.

1

u/Bradley_Of_Thorofare 11h ago

Running into these, and quicksand, while in the burmuda triangle was a big fear of mine as a child.

1

u/BerryDear948 11h ago

Nah these still give me PTSD from Pac-Man 3D

1

u/IGargleGarlic 11h ago

not yet at least

1

u/Fit-World-3885 11h ago

At least metaphorically I think I deal with a lot of minefields as an adult. 

1

u/SeaPollution2750 11h ago

cursed jingle bell nipples.

1

u/NotoriousM0N 11h ago

The amount we learned about “stop, drop, and roll” had me concerned that catching on fire was a regular occurrence

1

u/GreatGreenGobbo 11h ago

Mimes not mines...

1

u/Ambitious-Mission320 11h ago

Became my problem for the 2nd half of my Naval career

1

u/Anxious-Panic6991 11h ago

I mean,
On the Brittanic they would be a problem

1

u/el_hierbas 10h ago

It's all because of that shark game

1

u/Mackerdoni trans rights 10h ago

i see mines

1

u/Goatmanlafferty 10h ago

SWIM AWAY, SWIM AWAY!

1

u/Squilde 10h ago

Thought we’d need a bomb suit for grocery shopping instead.

1

u/_____rs 10h ago

🎶 Duck and cover...

1

u/Wildmen03 10h ago

My ancestor helped invent those. Sorry guys.

1

u/Right_Hour 10h ago

Give it time, WW3 is just in its early phase, another 3-5 years before you could reconsider.

1

u/DeadSeaGulls 10h ago

Guess we know that OP's not Pete Hegseth.

1

u/rugbymaycry 9h ago

I'm assuming Op must not be married yet

1

u/Anarcho_Christian 9h ago

Have you seen the price of oil lately?

1

u/Still_Corgi_8184 9h ago

I'm gonna join the navy this year, those things will be a giant fucking problem for me man

1

u/Steelizard 🍕Ayo the pizza here🍕 9h ago

What is this picture from it seems familiar? I remember one of the call of duty games had a mission to swim around these

1

u/lackingbean 9h ago

I damn sure was raised under the impression that I would be on fire like every day

1

u/bonersaus 8h ago

Rickety old wooden bridges over misty chasms

1

u/DRUGMUSIC_ 8h ago

why do these minesweeper things look lilke covid to me now?

1

u/Natural-Judge9396 8h ago

You'd be surprised.

1

u/bushtronix 8h ago

They’re making gas more expensive

1

u/Zealos57 8h ago

Hey look, balloons! It is a party!

1

u/hard_gravy_2 8h ago

I grew up watching old cartoons so assumed quicksand was out to get me

1

u/SilverSurfer-8 8h ago

Vectorman took care of them! 😎

1

u/MorleyDotes 8h ago

Nah, they all sank in the quicksand.

1

u/Rainsoakedpuppy 8h ago

No, but the ones you really want to watch out for are called PFM-1s and they look like discarded childrens toys.

1

u/Ornery_Bend3168 8h ago

this poster is obviously not married 🙄

1

u/DraccoKnightblade 7h ago

I mean...if you do come across one, it can definitely put a dent in your day plans

1

u/BatJackKY 7h ago

The. I joined the US Navy and found out we have much, much worse ones now.

1

u/OppositeAd189 7h ago

I mean, have you seen petrol prices lately?

1

u/No_Key469 7h ago

I for one straight up do not find this hormuzzing

1

u/BothDivide919 7h ago

They are, aren't they? In the strait of Hormuz

1

u/boblasagna18 6h ago

As long as you’re not in a submarine in a war zone

1

u/HoldsworthMedia 6h ago

I haven't had a genuine (gen u wine) cinematic chase scene in nearly twenty years. So common as a kid.