r/interestingasfuck • u/The_Love-Tap • 22h ago

Germany has more castles than the United States has McDonald’s. This is the Eltz castle, located in Wiershem. It has been owned and occupied by the same family for 33 generations over 800 years

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u/-_--_--_--_--_-_-_-_ 21h ago edited 16h ago

I'm German and I still don't believe. That has to be a very strange definition of a castle?? 

Edit: Okay turns out it's just dumb click bait, the definition of "castle" in this case includes everything from a fancy residential house that has been used by aristocracy in the past, to a proper castle and even ruins of a castle or a memorial. (Burg, Schloss, Ruine, "Herrenhaus", Denkmal).

Edit 2: According to the European Castle Institute there are 25000 castles in Germany, of the type like in the picture. Guess what... around 20% are still or at least somewhat resembling a building, 40% are ruins and  the remaining 40% are preserved only as "archaeological monuments" in their foundations - or have disappeared. Yes castles that have fully disappeared and nothing except the location is still known also count into the 25000.

In reality there are around 5000 castles in Germany, still impressive but most are not as impressive as in the picture at all, and around 13000 Mc Donald's in the USA.

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u/LennyLennsen 21h ago

They even included you with your fortified username

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u/NoNotChad 19h ago edited 17h ago

Does he even have the license to crenellate his username?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Licence_to_crenellate

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u/codyexplainsitall 18h ago

Oi mate, you got a license for those crenellations?

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u/TrulyOutrageous42 17h ago

Damn, you need a license for that? And to think, I've been crenellating unlicensed this whole time!!

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u/LennyLennsen 15h ago

Username checks out

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u/ThePuceGuardian 10h ago

🎶 Gotta keep 'em crenellated! 🎶

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u/Cheap-Ad1821 8h ago

Help I crenellated in my pants!

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u/SirLoremIpsum 17h ago

"The names Bond, Aethelred Bond. Licence to Crenellate"

*admiring coos from the audience

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u/Negative_Gravitas 17h ago

I . . . I did not know this was a thing, and medieval history (particularly English medieval history) is something of an interest of mine. Cheers and Thanks!

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u/pkingdesign 15h ago

That's an awesome Beastie Boys song!

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u/pacerpower 20h ago

God you made me laugh so hard.

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u/Exciting_Bat_2086 20h ago

This app sometimes I tell you what XD

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u/iheardthemetalclank 18h ago

I'm old and it still weirds me out when people call Reddit an app.

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u/Exciting_Bat_2086 18h ago

It’s been awhile since I’ve used it on PC.

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u/XxPepe_Silvia69xX 15h ago

I use it on pc when I’m home. I like being able to go back to old Reddit lol

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u/Crazy_Battlesheep 15h ago

I browser old.reddit on my phone.

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u/Lou_C_Fer 8h ago

I use a tablet and use a browser with old.reddit.

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u/Repulsive_Stock9400 13h ago

I only use reddit on my laptop and I used to only use "old" reddit, but they've made some recent changes that make it impossible to browse "old" reddit without being logged in.

So that's forced me to use "new" reddit when I'm not logged in and it's absolutely insane how bad the site is. Like, it just doesn't work; it constantly freezes and glitches out entirely, I'm repeatedly having to refresh just to see anything and it's just crazy. "Old" reddit works great. "New" reddit is a trashfire. How did that happen? Why has it not been fixed by now?

I'm absolutely baffled by reddit investors. I feel like they have to be completely clueless about what a disaster this place actually is.

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u/freetonik 13h ago

It’s still weird to me because an app is a way to access Reddit. But Reddit itself is not an app.

It’s like calling a movie “cinema”.

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u/PeteTheBeeps 12h ago

Exactly. Also who talks about apps like it’s 2013?

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u/iheardthemetalclank 1h ago

Exactly. Reddit is a website (and I still use old.reddit if I'm on a PC). I use the Dystopia app to access Reddit on my phone, but that doesn't make it an app. It's just a means of hooking into the API to get to it with a different interface. Apps are self-contained pieces of software on a phone or tablet. I also refuse to call a program on a PC an app, which I have seen.

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u/Dugen 13h ago

I have only used it on a phone a few times. I feel bad for y'all who have to use the inferior version.

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u/Lou_C_Fer 8h ago

They could use a browser like the smart ones do. For some reason, old reddit stopped displaying properly on the browser I use. So, I started using a different browser on my tablet. I'm disabled and bedbound. So, I haven't used a pc since 2019.

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u/cybercougar 14h ago

man alive i tell ya

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u/Entire-Cry-8930 11h ago

You’ll tell me what?

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u/barkbaarkbarkk 15h ago

c̶͇̃r̷͈͝ě̶̹ń̴͖e̴̢̐l̶̲̊ļ̵͑a̴͈̿t̴̻̏i̷̼̔o̶͍̿n̷͇̾s̶͇͂

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u/SheepSpace9 20h ago

Ok but did you vote up? The rulers of castles and corporate snack culture can't keep us down if we p2p democratize

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u/StevieMJH 19h ago

Waiting for someone with a Trebuchet username to show up.

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u/Informal-Term1138 17h ago

You won't see the sapping ones.

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u/Lick_my_balloon-knot 19h ago

┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴

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u/Academic-Ad-1879 15h ago

Great username

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u/ZaphodBeeblebrox4011 17h ago

Crenulated as a sumbitch.

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u/HisHonorTomDonson 11h ago

Brother you got in the way of me thanking them for saving me the research LMAO that’s incredible work

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u/GChocapic 10h ago

I wish I had an award to give you. When I looked back at the username… 🤣 thank you for that!

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u/Tehquilamockingbirb 20h ago

This is excellent! LOL

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u/EphemeralDan 20h ago

When I went to Ireland. I saw the ruins of a castle and asked a local what castle it was, he said, "I don't know." It's just an old pile of rocks" That's when I understood that castles in Ireland were like barns in New England. You see some truly spectacular specimens, and then you have a bunch that barely qualify as buildings. And then you have the ones that are just piles of rubble. Fewer of those because it's a lot easier to get rid of a pile of wood than a pile of rocks.

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u/mang87 19h ago

I'm from Ireland, and I never really considered this before. I read that comment and thought 5k castles was a shit ton, and so I went and looked up how many we have. Apparently it's over 7000, and is around 30k if you include partial ruins and fortified estate buildings. I've never really paid much attention to them because they're just part of the landscape, or an old building at the center of a town. I guess we don't really have many truly impressive ones like there are in other parts of the world, so it was never worth paying attention to. Honestly, we also weren't particularly fond of the people who would have lived in those castles.

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u/Fox--Hollow 18h ago

And 40-50k more if you count ringforts. Which doesn't surprise me, there's a couple within a five minute stroll from my house.

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u/AnaphoricReference 15h ago

Not in the Netherlands. Since stone doesn't naturally occur here it is carried off immediately.

Mesolithic dolmens. Roman ruins. Castles. They were usually just business until late 18th century. At best they left a drawing.

Ramparts and artificial mounds weren't safe either. Dirt was always big business. We still import a lot of sand and basalt stone for construction.

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u/Cocosito 5h ago

As a native of the American West I have never considered that there are places without stone.

What does that even mean? Like it's just soil all the way down? It's just not accessible or there are other conditions that prevent quarrying?

So many questions . . .

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u/TeamZweitstudium 2h ago

Read up on how they built Venice. I hope it's a nice rabbit hole for you

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u/Ok-Youth-160 10h ago

My hometown is at a location that has been important for trade for literally thousands of years. My buddy in university was living in a house older then the US with his room mates.

Next to our apartment they found Roman ruins in a field. They dug it up had a look and now it's a field again.

It's basically impossible to build because it's just layers and layers of history and you call in the archeologists to examine the finds.

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u/FaintingGoat123 6h ago

I was told one reason they’re not more often preserved in Ireland is they are symbols of British oppression. But that might be BS, not sure 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/forsti5000 21h ago

English doesn't differentiate between Burgen and Schlösser so tze number is inflated

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u/Square-Singer 21h ago

And even Schlösser are hardly a solid definition. I took the bus that went past Schloss Essling for years before someone mentioned to me that that decrepid old house is a Schloss. I would have never guessed.

Btw, English does have terms that differentiate: Fortress = Burg, palace = Schloss. But castle means both.

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u/Foxtrot-13 19h ago

English very much has terms to differentiate these, it is just Americans don't use them.

Castle is a catch all term for a fortified building containing a keep or keep like structure and at least one defensive wall, that was the seat of both military and civil power in the middle ages.

A fort is a fortified building that was only the centre of military power and is normally used from the Elizabethan age onwards.

Fortified manor houses are buildings that are secure but don't have the thick walls or curtain wall of a true castle.

A manor, stately home or palace is just a very big house.

One of the issues is that Victorians (especially in Scotland) liked to put a turret or crenellations on their houses and call them a castle to make it sound fancier than it was.

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u/Loinnird 20h ago

Well, no. Castles are fortified. Palaces are not.

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u/fartingbeagle 20h ago

It's also complicated that in my experience, castles are usually damp, draughty and cold to live in. As soon as the Thirty Years War ended, and there was less need for a fortification and when any family got some money; the first thing they'd do is build a nice new palace with all modern conveniences, usually using the bricks of the old castle.

Since the palace was often literally built of the old castle, it often kept the name.

Just my theory.

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u/Cocosito 5h ago

Why were fortifications no longer needed?

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u/zatalak 20h ago

There's a solid definition:

A 'Schloss' is a building or compound that members of the nobility had built for their usage. That's it.

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u/HardWirez 20h ago

That's not very solid. By your definition, if some noble put up a shed to store his collection of bicycles, it would be called a schloss.

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u/Square-Singer 18h ago

No, a Schloss is what you use to lock up the bicycles.

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u/itishowitisanditbad 18h ago

Another castle for the list!

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u/[deleted] 20h ago

[deleted]

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u/Exotic_Cranberry8175 19h ago

As a German: No, we most definitely would not call it a Schloss. Schloss entails some kind of (former) glamour or pomp or at least something more spacious so that the noble family and their servants could live in it.

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u/nalaloveslumpy 19h ago

What if they sleep on the bicycle?

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u/thedirtyknapkin 20h ago

well that's basically a "manor" in English and is very much not considered a "castle". to call those castles in English just sounds like bad translations work.

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u/zatalak 19h ago

Yeah, ah castle would be more like a 'Burg'.

Chateau could be better fitting for Schloss.

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u/Ok-Dragonknight-5788 18h ago

Actually, alot of thouse manors would have been considered castles by the English back in the day to.

Most people don't realize how low the floor is for what counts as a castle. It's more a result of survivorship bias thar when we think about castles we think about the upper 25-10%

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u/Marauder777 20h ago

There's a Reddit definition: A 'Schloss' is what I unfurl from my pantaloons when thy fair maiden bares her ankles.

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u/Dipsey_Jipsey 20h ago

so tze number is inflated

That typo is making me read this like Simpsons character, and I'm German hahaha

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u/forsti5000 16h ago

Ve hey ways to make yo talk ;p

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u/RelativeEconomics114 19h ago

And they include ruins and fortresses.

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u/NewCandy8877 21h ago

Probably includes rathause too

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u/Lycrist_Kat 20h ago

English doesn't have Umlaute so how are they supposed to differentiate?

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u/equili92 19h ago

Isn't burg and schloss like fortress and castle

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u/Kittelsen 21h ago

Probably counting the rooks on chess tables as well I suppose. 🤷‍♂️

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u/cortesoft 21h ago

And every White Castle

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u/CardsMultiverse 21h ago

Which there is none

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u/cortesoft 21h ago

Makes the math easier

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u/CardsMultiverse 21h ago

Maybe they count every Burger King, as every King needs a Castle

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u/fleranon 20h ago

Most definitely. Burger sounds suspiciously like 'Burgherr', the german word for castle-owner :)

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u/HauntedCemetery 19h ago

Ich bin ein burger

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u/nalaloveslumpy 19h ago

You and me both, brother.

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u/RajunCajun48 19h ago

What? This is Germany we're talking about, all their castles are white!

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u/Scary_Outside2374 20h ago

Chess table?

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u/Kittelsen 20h ago

Hmm, boards I guess...

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u/save_Cheetah_fr_real 21h ago

Don't hate those little rooks. They are pretty ruthless in the late game.

https://giphy.com/gifs/6ULiLDkdpEHoCVLgad

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u/Normal_Mouse_4174 21h ago

Yeah, if there were over 14k castles in Germany that would be one roughly every 25 square km.

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u/zufaelligenummern 20h ago

There are a lot more than that where i come from in germany tbf

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u/Ricordis 20h ago edited 17h ago

Germany also had lots of "Zollfestungen". Those were fortified towers at rivers with a chain spun across the river and if you wanted to pass you had to pay a toll.

Those things are also considered as castle in english and there were maaany of these in Germany as it was splintered down to small kingdoms before which means there were many borders.

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u/jeffroxs101 19h ago edited 19h ago

That's called a pair of towers and a chain, maybe a fortification not a castle. English isn't the language struggling to express what these buildings are, German is. That's not a castle in English if you have a pair of towers and a chain no English speaker would describe it as a castle.

*Regarding the other "castles". A pile of rocks is called rubble, a pile of rocks that used to be a castle is called a ruin. Not a castle. None of the things Germans apply the word castle to seem to be castles beside the handful that are actually castles. They teach English in Germany in school so I don't see how you don't understand this.

Just because a castle used to be there hundreds or thousands of years ago doesn't mean it is still a castle. That's just a pile of rocks guy.

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u/MethodicallyRight 18h ago

You're treating the English category 'castle' as though it has a one-to-one correspondence with the German category you're translating. It doesn't. German distinguishes Burg, Festung, Schloss, Ruine, etc., and those categories have historically overlapping boundaries that don't map cleanly onto English. German also has very productive compound nouns for specifying subtypes. So if a German source classifies a structure as a Burg, you can't establish that the classification is wrong merely by saying an English speaker wouldn't call the surviving structure a castle. You'd have to examine what the structure actually was and what German historical terminology means by Burg in that context.

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u/jeffroxs101 18h ago

A thousand year old castle that is now a field with rocks on it is not a fortification nor a castle. It should be renamed something besides burg.

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u/Ricordis 18h ago

Yeah, that's a "Burgruine" [castle ruin].

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u/jeffroxs101 17h ago

Appropriate and accurate. I support it, I don't support people pretending every Burg is a castle because English translators are slow in the head and claim it to just be a burg.

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u/MethodicallyRight 18h ago

A thousand year old castle that is now a field with rocks on it is not a fortification nor a castle. It should be renamed something besides burg.

They do... It's called a 'Burgstall'

Great point, people who misuse German words and terminology are wrong ... Brilliant.

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u/jeffroxs101 18h ago

A shack that the homeowner once fought off home invaders in is also, not a burg or castle regardless of calling it a burg.

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u/Ricordis 18h ago

You literally defined the word "Burg".

A "Burg" is a fortified, inhabitable structure, built to provide protection and serve as a residency for a noble, mostly originating in medieval times.

You just offered a perfect example of how the english definition of a castle differs from the german definition and while there's a direct translation for that word it still has different meanings.

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u/Ricordis 19h ago

Yeah, I was not precise enough by skipping some steps.

Those toll towers are still considered a fortress/castle after german standards but maybe not by what a non-german might think a castle is. But still it gets counted as castle and warps the view.

In german it's far easier to separate those castle types as german grammar simply allows to create composite words and there you can create new words for every subtype of castle easily.

I know the english language is capable of doing so with separate words but as this is a different type of thinking linked to a different culture and language it's not used as much.

Back to castles: Every little reinforced whatever belongs to the category of a "Burg" in Germany, even those just made of wood, consisting of just a tower and a palisade. It doesn't quite fit the english definition of a castle.

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u/MethodicallyRight 19h ago

Good on you for being patient and good faith in your response. The other user is being a dick'

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u/jeffroxs101 19h ago

I know German is an old language and I even took 3 years of it but it seems silly to not just invent new words when the words you have don't accurately describe things. Hell, Shakespeare literally just made up shit and we accepted it and those words are now in the English Vernacular. Languages are all made up! Just make more words! No one can stop you. I was irritated by the language struggling to adapt, not at you particularly. I apologize if I came across as rude or hostile.

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u/LifeIsSoup-ImFork 18h ago

we invent new words on the daily, theyre called compound-words and there is nothing you cant describe using them.

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u/jeffroxs101 18h ago

And I love them! That is why I don't get why anyone would refer to a pile of rocks as a castle when they can call it pile-of-rocks-that-used-to-be-a-castle in German! The language is capable of differentiating between a castle and a pile of rubble.

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u/_kaidu_ 17h ago

What you are saying doesn't make any sense. What we are calling a "Burg" is a medieval fortress. They are by definition old and are nowadays a "pule of rocks" except for the cases were they were rebuilt or renovated or for the few really big fortress built in late medieval. The thing is: nobody built Burgen anymore after the medieval period cause it was not cery pleasant to live there. Instead, people built a Schloss. In english language both is called a castle which adds to the confusion here. We have a word for castles that are destroyed: Burgruine (Castle ruins). The distinction here, though, is not between intact castles and castle ruins. A castle ruin can look very impressive and many of them are worth a visit. Also, most ruins still have an intact tower or something, they are not just a pile of rocks. What some people point out is that 1. castles in Germany can come in very different sizes. A count who owned just a tiny piece of land won't have been able to build a huge castle. Some castles are very tiny and the example in the picture is already a impressive one 2. Schloss is a very broad term. Some of them are rather large buildings, others are palaces. Not all of them have towers and the fewest of them have walls (they are not fortresses)

Nevertheless, I don't doubt that Germany has A LOT of such Burg and Schloss buildings.

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u/LifeIsSoup-ImFork 17h ago

pile-of-rocks-that-used-to-be-a-castle in German!

we do tho, the word youre looking for is burgruine. which is different from a burg thats not a ruine.

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u/sick_stuff1 18h ago

but german does have words for them??

Burg gets called castle in english, even tho its not a castle. its the english that don't have a word for it.

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u/jeffroxs101 18h ago

Then they shouldn't be referred to as castles now should they? Use accurate language to describe the things around you regardless of language. A ruin is a ruin, regardless of being a castle 1000 years ago. Rubble is rubble when it is a pile of rocks. These are not called castles by anyone with any sense.

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u/sick_stuff1 18h ago

Then they shouldn't be referred to as castles now should they?

tell the english? we aren't calling them that.

we even have a specific word for medieval fortress that are ruins, they are called "Burgruinen"

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u/jeffroxs101 18h ago

Beautiful I love it, and fine. I'll hate the British even harder, thank you for encouraging me lmao.

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u/jeffroxs101 18h ago

Burg = castle, stronghold, citadel, fortification. A pile of rocks is not a Burg. Do I need to break out a thesaurus? If everything in Germany is a Burg, then nothing in Germany is a Burg. Describe individual and unique buildings with separate words instead of labeling everything a Burg. It is German that is struggling to describe locations and buildings.

A school, is a school. Just because you name the hospital a school, the mortuary a school, the grocery store as a school, does not make them all schools. By technicality yes! People can learn anywhere, but that's not what the fucking word school means just because your ancestors are lazy at naming things or updating the words used to describe them.

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u/Ricordis 18h ago edited 17h ago

It's weird how you try to argue with native speakers about their own language. After reading your comments I came to the conclusion you simply do not understand the concept of compound words and subcategories.

A castle is a castle, a stronghold a stronghold, a fortress a fortress.

In german they are a "Burg" and if you need to be precise you make a compound word of it: Kirchenburg, Reichsburg, Trutzburg, Hochburg, Hügelburg, Wasserburg, Fluchtburg, Ritterburg, Grenzburg, Zwillingsburg, Zollburg, Kernburg, Vorburg, Felsenburg, Spornburg, Talburg, ...

We are not the ones who need more words to define a castle.

I can even work with your school example. We have Schule, Berufsschule, Ärzteschule, Fahrschule, Tauchschule, ... so yeah, a shack at the beach with a scuba coach is a "Schule" [school].

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u/jeffroxs101 17h ago edited 17h ago

I do understand compound words. Calling 5 different structures "burg" is still silly and pointless. You've proven the language is flexible and you can name things accurately. 5 different types of buildings should not be called burg regardless if you are able to specify it down further by using the more detailed or accurate terms.

Am I a burg if I hold off invaders? Are you a burg? Is the Tesco down the street a burg? Or are there accurate names for these things we can use that actually describe said locations, people, or objects?

*By your language and standards I could claim there are 500,000 burgs in America. Most are house shaped. And lived in like houses, but it's a burg. Just a burg-with-people-living-inside-that-doesn't-defend-nor-protect-anyone and that is a normal word in German. I love the compound words I have learned in German, that doesn't mean using short hand to describe a fucking barn as a castle is sensible. "It protects cattle so it is a burg" the fuck? Just make a word for barn if you are struggling to describe a simple building. And it doesn't need to involve burg.

And I'll say it right now, any burger made outside of Hamburg is just a ground beef patty! Just like Chardonnay

Naming things "art school", "diving school", "tech school" that is completely normal and valid. It is a school specifying in one subject manner. That's not hard to process my guy. When your word for shack, castle, and pile of rocks is just "burg" maybe get more creative?

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u/xrimane 20h ago

One every 5x5 km doesn't sound unreasonable in some areas though.

We were part of the patchwork of little states here in the Eifel and the allegiance would change from village to village. We still have "Catholic" villages and "Lutheran" villages and notable differences in dialect to the initiated. Every other town seems to have a Schloss or Burg lol.

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u/_kaidu_ 19h ago

In Thuringia that sounds reasonable. Every town here has at least one castle. And no, they are not all as beautiful as in the picture, but they are definitely not just old buildings.

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u/Tiomo 17h ago

We even have two in our small town in thuringia (and an additional one which is basically just a pile of rocks). We currently have around 3000 residents.

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u/anonuemus 18h ago

sounds about right

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u/mikiex 15h ago

Sounds about right, in some parts of the Rhine Valley it has one every 1.5km along the river, for 60km.

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u/earthceltic 21h ago

For those not having castles in their country at all 5000 working castles seems incredible. I bet there are still a few that could be restored too.

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u/stuarthannig 20h ago

There is a castle in Napa

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u/BedBubbly317 20h ago

A building resembling the appearance of a castle doesn’t make it a castle. It has to have been operated by genuine nobility and intentionally used as a fortified structure and housing unit. Not a vineyard that just put a cool building on their property

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u/Strange-Feeling69420 20h ago

I’m more impressed it’s even on the same level of magnitude as the 14k McDonald’s, and tbh I’m surprised there aren’t more McDonalds in America

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u/Suburban--Dad 21h ago

Maybe if all those castle owners had sold better cheeseburgers, they wouldn’t have gone out of business and had to tear down their castles!!!! (Thanks, seriously, for doing the math and the actual explanation).

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u/supermarkise 21h ago

There is a local ongoing conflict here where someone (who knows?) is re-building parts of the very torn-down castle (basically just the lowest 1-3 stones are still there), but it's not allowed due to monument protection, so it gets pulled down by the authorities - but somehow it still grows overnight sometimes, lol.

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u/skoomski 21h ago

Yeah it’s like when you go to a capital city and most of the “castles” are just former royal apartments or manor houses from the 1600-1800s that happen to stand on the ground of a former actual castle.

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u/DotAffectionate87 21h ago

Thanks for this✓

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u/seanpbnj 20h ago

Is that you John Oliver? 

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u/Hot-Account-8691 20h ago

I'm surprised the number of McDonald's is that low

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u/Aggressive_Body834 20h ago

USA has more McMansions.

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u/tallgrasshead 20h ago

Yeah but has Indiana Jones been to all of them?

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u/HerrBratkartoffel 20h ago

I have been to several castles in germany. All of them in ruin and all of them are called castle "you name it". I totally understand that the title and the picture can lead to the false assumption that all of these castles look somewhat like the one depicted here but the title is factually true. You will find that many sources will count ruins of castles and castles that are preserved and inhabited alike. Whatever their condition is, it's still very impressive that there are over 25k castles in a country as small as germany.

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u/MrGloom66 20h ago

I somehow didn't register the present tense in "has" and was about to make a fool of myself. But, yeah, I suppose just known locations of former castles should not be counted in. It might be just my bias since well maintained castles are not that common in my country, but for me ruins would also count.

If you think about it though, these are only the ones we know about, and many were mostly wood and earth (in some regions of europe those were way more common for different reasons), or even entirelly wood and earth.

And to be fair, we nowadays have our views on castles skewed by movies, games and even XIXth century buildings cosplaying as castles, but for a XVIth century scotsman a big, wide, relatively isolated tower belonging to a more well do to family counted as a castle. There were countless fortified manors or churches that straddle the limits or that would qualify and would maybe even be viewed in their time as castles, but that to our eyes would definitely fall short.

I'm not saying that your view on the matter is wrong, but I feel that any number anyone gives is very much up to debate...

1

u/TheMcBrizzle 20h ago

" .. have fully disappeared and nothing except the location is still known"

Ozymandias weeps

1

u/corship 20h ago

It's like counting every fastfood restaurant that ever existed in the us

1

u/DangerousPuhson 20h ago

a fancy residential house that has been used by aristocracy in the past

Yeah, are manors considered castles, and if so would their American equivalent of plantations be counted as "castles"?

1

u/Shehriazad 20h ago

Compare it to the size of the country and the amount of inhabitants and it is still an insanely impressive number by scale.

1

u/Proper-Exercise-2364 19h ago

What's most impressive is that family has been alive for 800 years! Their "youngest" kid was born in the 1200's!

1

u/titsmuhgeee 19h ago

At the end of the day, a "castle" is just a residence of the upper class, most of which have at least ruins remaining.

If you assume there is a 1000 year period where castles were a thing, 25,000 total only means 25 were built per year in all of Germany. That does not mean they were all being actively used. Most of those were already abandoned/ruins while new castles were still being built.

Just helps put things in perspective.

1

u/Baumguard 19h ago

Die deutsche Antwort ✔️

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Flow724 19h ago

I think that the last 25000 has one too many zeros.

1

u/Justgototheeffinmoon 19h ago

Only 13k mcdo's in the US? what are they? Lazy?

1

u/Griffindance 19h ago

I work in the castle in Celle. Its not quite as "Sword and Magic Fantasy" as the pictured Schloss, but it is still pretty Disneyesque.

1

u/sobrique 19h ago edited 19h ago

5000 is still a very respectable number of castles though.

I checked the UK - it's 4000 'sites' (e.g. about the same level of definition as that 25k number) but 'substantial ruins' are in the hundreds, and 'currently habitable' is more like dozens.

And nothing that's a patch on some of the very best German Castles, although I guess that's at least partially an age and 'style' thing rather than military necessity.

1

u/ThisSiteSucks8485 19h ago

That makes more sense 

1

u/Zorkflerp 19h ago

Do any of them have phones?

1

u/intangibleTangelo 19h ago

luckily every single McDonald's is impressive

1

u/1995TimHortonsEclair 19h ago

Yeah I've seen some German "castles" and they just looked like old large houses that were in pretty bad disrepair.

1

u/Ichbinkeinrob0ter 18h ago

round about 25k but 40% of them are ruins

1

u/anonuemus 18h ago

Even the not impressive ones ooze history

1

u/thicc_llama 18h ago

As a Norwegian perhaps more autistic than you germans I say thank you, I called bullshit on this immediately

1

u/OkSmoke9195 17h ago

Are we counting former McDonald's locations though 

1

u/wwweeeiii 17h ago

Now the important part is to list the relevant castles that a visitor actually wants to go and visit.

1

u/goodoledepression 17h ago

Of course the German got pissed and did the research lol. Good data, good job

1

u/HoldingMoonlight 17h ago

What if you include all the closed/former McDonald's?

1

u/Berdariens2nd 17h ago

How many castles in Germany are also Mcdonalds. Now that is the real question. 

1

u/Sensitive_Election83 17h ago

Yes and many of the 13000 McDonalds in the US are more impressive than the some of the 5000 castles in Germany

1

u/ameza001 17h ago

I find McDonald's a lot less impressive.

1

u/horseydeucey 17h ago

Crenellation coming through with facts!

1

u/ThisIsBB56 17h ago

Thanks for being German in a good sense and kicking this dumbass clickbait out.

1

u/No_Kitchen9982 17h ago

Lol "Europe has more history than America" 

This was my reaction too hahaha. "Yeah mate, if you consider a few stones jutting up out of the ground that was a foundation in the year 800, sure I guess" 

1

u/mrtn17 17h ago

This is why I love Hanses.

Cheers, Jan

1

u/general_bonesteel 17h ago

Hans, I appreciate you dedication to being exact. Very German.

1

u/drhunny 16h ago

25,000 is approximately 1 castle every 14 km2. If they were distributed evenly, you would never be more than about a 15 minute walk from a castle (~ 2km).

But 14000 Micky-Ds in the USA is one every 700 km2, so if distributed evenly you'd never be more than about 13km from a Quarter Pounder (or Royale with Cheese, if you will.)

1

u/Traditional-Way-4097 16h ago

i thought a castly was any building that had at least 3 pointy roofs

1

u/goopyloopsuperdupe 16h ago

Lot of good cut stone on walls nobody is using

1

u/OkReference2581 16h ago

Or the amount of Mc Donalds world wide. Speaking of Germany, Mc Donalds replaced Einstein's childhood home in Ulm Germany. There is a statue of him. Been there in 85 

1

u/solkenum 16h ago

That’s 1600 people for each castle. Do with this information what you will.

1

u/HaikuHighDude 16h ago

That's still WAY more castles than there are Fazolis.

1

u/FancyConfection1599 16h ago

I would have always assumed castles just meant either resembling a building or ruins of the building, 60% of 25k is still bigger than 13k so it makes the McDonald’s fact true which is absolutely insane

1

u/standardtissue 16h ago

click bait, on social media ?

1

u/Visual_Mistake_29 14h ago

This analysis is why we needed y’all to help us build a viable rocket to launch into space. Bravo.

1

u/BigMax 14h ago

>Yes castles that have fully disappeared and nothing except the location

Ghost castles??? Now I'm scared!!!

1

u/jojoga 14h ago

My home is my castle.

1

u/gaberger1 13h ago

Well ruin or no ruin. Still there was a castle build long time ago. And that count of over 25.000 is still impressive if you think about it

1

u/RB3_AMG 12h ago

Warte mal... Weil die Definition von Burg dir - und dir allein nicht passt, behauptest du, es gäbe nur 5.000 Burgen in Deutschland...? Für wen hälst du dich denn? xD Es sind offiziell über 25.000 Burgen - unabhängig davon, was du davon hälst.

1

u/Paralystic 12h ago

To be fair I’m pretty sure when most people think castle in modern times they aren’t thinking pristine upkept like the one in the picture. If theres atleast ruins where the castle was it should count imo.

1

u/Herr_Tilke 12h ago

Build a retaining wall?

Believe it or not; Castle.

1

u/Spacegirl-Alyxia 12h ago

Well at least the small city that I live in has a lot more such castles than McDonalds locations. 4 are in this city and on top of my head I can count 8 castles and I am sure I am missing a few.

The castles that I am thinking of may not be as impressive as the picture above (with the exception of at least 2) but it was actually believable to me 😅

1

u/Central316 12h ago

We just have McCastles here.

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u/astralchanterelle 11h ago

I think the 14,000 fast food restaurants is more impressive.

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u/bothering 10h ago

Ive always wondered; do some of those castles get turned into nightclubs or rave venues?

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u/Fappy_as_a_Clam 10h ago

im glad you Germaned the fuck out of this post.

not only did you prove OP wrong due technical shit, which im sure that you, as a German, fucking love; but it also kept America as the winner in this situation, which us Americans fucking love.

and we won in this situation because of McDonalds, which Americans fucking love; but also we won in this situation because of McDonalds, which im sure Germans fucking love.

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u/spvvvt 8h ago

So more castles than Dairy Queens in the US. Still impressive if you think how common it can be in such a large country (except for you, Vermont!)

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u/-dr-bones- 8h ago

Yeah, but a lot of the McDonald's are practically ruins (as evidenced from the food they serve)

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u/SameEstimate420 7h ago

A very German response. Danke schon.

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u/Nonethelessismore 6h ago

Salutations, and thank you for posting this deep dive into context about castles in Germany.

1

u/N1ghtmeeer 20h ago edited 20h ago

so you just did the good old ChatGPT search and called it a day? There are so many castles that only a fraction are even known because many (about 40-80%) don't even exist anymore or are not maintained because it's way to expensive. Yes of course ruins are counted as castles, they were a defensive position so they were destroyed from time to time, duhh. It's like talking about pyramids and only count the fully intact ones or the one you especially like.
https://www.ebidat.de/ if somebody is really interested, its an ongoing project to document existing medieval structures.
If you know the origin of Germany you also know why there are no reliable records of all those structures.