r/interestingasfuck • u/The_Love-Tap • 22h ago

Germany has more castles than the United States has McDonald’s. This is the Eltz castle, located in Wiershem. It has been owned and occupied by the same family for 33 generations over 800 years

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u/Omnamashivaaya 22h ago

Because castles are awesome. You can buy one for under 1 million pounds/dollars/euros. But jokes on your bank account if you want to live in it

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u/boringbullet 21h ago

Everyone wants to live in a castle till you realize that it’s you alone in a structure designed to have 10+ permanent staff members

And good fucking luck keeping it warm lmao

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u/ProfessorWise5822 21h ago

Keeping it warm is difficult, but keeping it properly maintained is probably even more expensive. And at least in Germany, you are legally required to maintain old buildings

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u/bryman19 21h ago

Who is properly maintaining the 20,000-25,000 castles in Germany?

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u/dancepantz 21h ago

Probably Germans

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u/HotelRealistic6794 20h ago

Big if true

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u/DasturdlyBastard 16h ago

I used to know this chap Hans who lived in a castle in Germany. This thread is making me think the guy might have been German.

Geeezus, my mind is fuckin blown right now.....Hans was German? Wow....I thought he was Chinese, for God's sake.

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u/dachfuerst 13h ago

Do you mean Hans von Schnitzelkastenmeyer? The famous German Castle-owner?

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u/DasturdlyBastard 10h ago

No I meant Hans Che Chi Wongdenstein, the famous purveyor of Chinese strudel.

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u/HauntedCemetery 19h ago

Germany has castle elves.

You leave your castle on the doorstep with a bowl of cream and in the morning your castle crenelation is repaired

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u/Rincetron1 15h ago

Here to tell Finland has sauna elves.

You leave some water and a birchwood branch for them to maintain proper relationship.

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u/technicolortiddies 18h ago

Oh what a lovely new word. Thank you!

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u/Partisan_Croissant 10h ago

That's a damn big door.

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u/imbakinacake 21h ago

Ze Germans!

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u/Super-Pizza-Dude 17h ago

sprechen sie deutch!?

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u/Xinq_ 16h ago

Yes, I speak Dutch.

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u/FizzyBeverage 16h ago
  • Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
  • Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
  • Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
  • Tommy: It's for protection.
  • Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

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u/AnAncientMonk 19h ago

JAJA. bitte. BITTE EINE POLIZEI, FRUHSTUCKEN.

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u/dachfuerst 13h ago

GEBEN SIE EIN BROT FÜR MEIN WURSTFRÜHSTÜCKKARTOFFEL

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u/AnAncientMonk 13h ago

KUUUGELSCHRAAAAIBERRRRRRR

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u/HispanicAtTheDisko 18h ago

I fucking knew it

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u/Recover-Upper 8h ago

"Who else?"

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u/Nazerlath 8h ago

This is what big castle doesn't want you to know

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u/dachfuerst 21h ago

Many are open to the public, selling tickets to visit the place. Thus, raising money for the upkeep.

Those which are closed to the public - a lot of private money flows into the place. A friend of mine is a countess, with her and her family still living in the centuries-old castle. A lot of the money they earn in their jobs goes to the upkeep, along with rooms of the castle they rent off for events, weddings and such. In her case, it's a question of responsibility for the following generations of the family. They've all got pretty decent jobs, but they aren't that rich money-wise. I know they had to sell off some heirlooms to have the roof fixed.

Other families just have been filthy rich for centuries, and their passive income pays for their House.

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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 21h ago

Seems like less than a thousand are open for regular public access, which makes sense - if you’ve seen a thousand castles, you’ve seen them all, I imagine.

So that leaves a lot that need to be supported privately.

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u/CuriousButNotJewish 19h ago

Yep. People tend to be emotional about 800 year old castles passed down the family line and hesitant to sell them.

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u/Plus-Professional-84 20h ago

That is how generational wealth disappears

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u/Non-LocaI 17h ago

Apparently there has been enough to last 33 generations, seems like they figured out how to maintain

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u/dachfuerst 18h ago

Yes, its not like being "high-born" automatically equals infinite disposable income anymore. Which is a good thing, if you ask me.

Now to distribute the billionaires' wealth next.

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u/Cpt_Covfefe 21h ago

I know a person that had a villa in southern France by inheritance. It was affectionately referred to as "The White Elephant" in English. They were never happier than when it was sold after significant restoration that took decades.

A second person I know bought the equivalent in the US and they weep about the upkeep as well, but make a modest income as it's mainly restored with all of their free time.

It's weird how people fall in love with a property then commit their lives and a significant portion of their incomes to historical buildings.

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u/skyrimmier12 20h ago

Are Timeshares historical? Because that is 100% the US equivalent.

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u/EconomicRegret2 20h ago

The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long... Also find what you love and let it kill you.

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u/Chole_Wunt 18h ago

I think its weird how people build modern day castles: 4000 sqft+ homes and dont have any friends to share it with because they are insufferable.

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u/Cpt_Covfefe 18h ago

I know that's the modern thing, but my US friends actually have their friends and especially other family members over quite a bit and it's not extravagant, but a lot of potlucks

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u/Chole_Wunt 18h ago

Cool boomer story. Somehow making this about you. No one cares.

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u/heckin_miraculous 18h ago

LMAO what? Are you ok?

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u/tsework 18h ago

seems like youre projecting a little here pal lol

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u/Elu_Moon 18h ago

Look, prowling around the castle at night with only my shadow visible through the windows as candlelight wavers with the slightest breeze is worth having no friends, especially when you're a couple of centuries old.

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u/dachfuerst 13h ago

As long as Igor is by your side.

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u/Gian_Doe 11h ago

In the midwest you can find many neighborhoods with a bunch of 4000 sq/ft houses. That's not a castle, a castle doesn't have a bunch of similarly sized castles in a neighborhood all living next to each other.

A neighborhood with big houses may have an automated gate, a castle sized house has a gate at the entrance to a massive property with a big ass house(s) on it.

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u/The_Autarch 20h ago

the vast majority of the castles in that number are ruins or just a foundation.

no one is maintaining them anymore.

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u/jschundpeter 21h ago

They are used as event, living and office spaces - in many cases all of it combined because it costs a hell lot of money to preserve this old stuff.

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u/MegaChip97 21h ago

One of my professors in university owned one

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u/bryman19 21h ago

Professor Frankenstein?

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u/Impooter 21h ago

It's pronounced fronk-in-steen!

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u/MegaChip97 21h ago

Haha no, but he kinda got that vibe. Professor Martin Hörning

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u/nalaloveslumpy 19h ago

Historical societies. The good news is, the maintenance for an overwhelming number of them is just polishing the plaque on the empty field/broken foundation where a castle once stood.

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u/215ls 18h ago

Mostly Germany itself, or the county/town. Most castles charge a fee if you want to enter it, or the castles are used by any government agency/public authority. Even if the castle has a lot of visitors the money they make is not enough, so maintenance is mostly covered with taxes I guess

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u/nick2473got 20h ago

German castle maintainers.

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u/Illustrious-Wolf4857 10h ago

In one castle/palace I visited, the tour guide explained that last owner gave it to the federal state in exchange for a modern two bedroom flat in a medium-sized city in the 1960s.

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u/JustRegdToSayThis 20h ago

Not only that. You are obliged to do it in the exact way that the cultural heritage office tells you.

Install modern windows - nope

Install prper insulation - nope

Install AC - nope

I bet there are still "castles" you can get for 1€, but will cost millions to make inhabitable. There used to be a lot after reunification that nobody wanted - not even for free.

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u/KtaadnRota 14h ago

There were a lot in the east after reunification that were at least partially destroyed. They didn't get funding after the war to rebuild old castles like the west did. Housing and industry were the priority.

Spent my youth "urban exploring" in those old castles. Haven't been back for a long long time and sometimes wonder how many of them have been rebuilt since then.

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u/PhoeniX3733 12h ago

That's wrong. You're only obligated to keep the outward appearance of the building. 

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u/JustRegdToSayThis 6h ago

Yes, but the question is always how this is interpreted. I have first hand examples for all my points. Does not always prevent things but can make them crazy expensive.

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u/sth128 21h ago

Are they legally obligated to keep the structure in its original material and interior design? Can they retrofit modern insulation, waterproofing, and adjust the interior so it's more like a modern home?

What's the major maintenance item for such castles?

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u/Groot_Benelux 20h ago

Are they legally obligated to keep the structure in its original material and interior design? 

Depends on the country. It's not unheard of that you need to fit some council or departments old expensive construction methods. Replace oak beams with oak beams ,etc

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u/orangeyougladiator 20h ago

You can do whatever you like to it, it’s yours and the land is as well. But it comes with lots of renovations and maintenance requirements because they aren’t rated for building houses in the new era of things. Couple that with no proper infrastructure support from your county, all the hassle it takes to live in one doesn’t equate to just building your ideal home new somewhere.

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u/Groot_Benelux 20h ago

Depends on the place. In France the fact that you're supposed to keep it original (which has a huge repair pricetag) is why some of them are so cheap.

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u/215ls 17h ago

Tell me you've never been to Germany without telling me. You can't even chose the kind of fence you want to have arount your frontyard. Bebauungsplan chooses for you. And with old buildings there's Denkmalschutz too. You don't want that on top

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u/Illustrious-Wolf4857 10h ago

If it's a listed building, you are very limited in what you are allowed to change. I worked on one as a teen and we needed quite a few specialised craftspeople to find acceptable (and affordable) solutions. And about fifty part-time helpers for the unskilled work.

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u/corecenite 10h ago

i wonder if all the advancements in cleaning technology we have can offset the need for that human staff

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u/melanthius 6h ago

Brb, gonna apply to be a castle inspector in Germany

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u/hexler10 21h ago

Everyone be shitting on castles until their liege lord decides to raise taxes.

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u/monochromeorc 21h ago

everyone wants a castle, turns out all they can afford is a Harrenhall

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u/Jazzlike-Check9040 21h ago

Better Harrenhall than Greyguard

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u/Lord_Skyblocker 20h ago

Found Janos Slynts Reddit account

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u/Jazzlike-Check9040 20h ago

Tbh he was a dumbass. He’d have 10 buddies kicking back at a castle that NO ONE goes to.

Imagine every night with the boys while the boss is away fighting undead skeletons.

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u/Lord_Skyblocker 20h ago

BuT hE hAS fRieNdS aT cOurT

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u/Sanjewy 21h ago

Wait, it doesn't come with a couple of villages to exploit anymore?

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u/intashu 21h ago

Why do you think so many castles had large tapestries on the walls? They where basically carpets you'd hang to help retain the heat in the room.

Biggest issue however isn't heat. That's what the fireplace is for. It's the maintaining that much volume of space. Between dirt, water, wind, and just plain volume of area... There's a reason why you'd need staff on hand just to. Maintain it... Or have whole wings closed off you don't go to since it's unmaintained due to cost.

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u/kurburux 19h ago

Why do you think so many castles had large tapestries on the walls? They where basically carpets you'd hang to help retain the heat in the room.

Some castles also had rooms with wooden walls and lower ceilings that were easier to heat. Often those wooden panels didn't survive the centuries though. The appearance of castles today may be very different to actual medieval life.

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u/ReaDiMarco 7h ago

volume of area

My math brain can't believe this phrase

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u/ComfortablyNumb2425 21h ago

Or paying for constant expensive upkeep! Can you imagine the cost to reroof?

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u/nickiter 16h ago

I'm going metal on those roofs asap. 😂

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u/fondledbydolphins 21h ago

I wish John Dunsworth (Jim Lahey from Trailer Park Boys) got to live in a castle.

Towards the end of his life he lived on the coast, slowly rebuilding and reinforcing masonry structures. Seems like he would have had a lot of fun fixing up a castle he got to live in.

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u/canucklehead200 20h ago

Some of the best YouTube videos I've ever seen were of him building. What a kind soul he was

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u/Fitz911 20h ago

May I introduce you to the German

Denkmalschutz?

To protect those buildings against Elon building a data center inside, some buildings are under protection.

They are easy to finance but a pita to have. You want new windows? Better find a way to build them without taking the old ones out.

You don't like that wall? I tell you this. When you are long dead this wall will stand right there. It's protected.

You don't want a denkmalgeschütztes building. Believe me.

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u/ChocolatChipLemonade 17h ago

Dr. Doofenshmirtz ?!

Where I’m from (Charleston, SC) we have a similar kinda thing. Of course the historical sites are waayyy younger, but the antebellum south is a very distinct culture to the US. You can only repair, not replace. And that has to be done by specialized craftsmen. And you have to do all that with hurricanes and flooding in mind.

Imagine buying a million dollar property and not being allowed to modernize it in certain ways to feel comfortable in your own home..

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u/TnTBass 18h ago

Global warming will solve the heating problem. Might be a good deal to get in now.

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u/YourFuture2000 18h ago

Most families living in castles have also their business in the property (offices and employes), or rent some floors or part of it for other businesses like tourism. Or just live in part of it while manteinining other floors or rooms closed storing things or just empty or for ceremonies or to impress visitors.

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u/UrsaMajor7th 15h ago

Nighttime lows of -5ºC in winter is so much better than our -30ºC

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u/corpsie666 14h ago

Winter orgies are definitely on the menu

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u/SeaToShy 14h ago

I would be in heaven. I like it cold and love the echo of feet in an empty hallway.

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u/Immediate_Gain_9480 12h ago

A castle without any of the surrounding land is just a money pit. There is a reason they came with that land.

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u/JRaus88 21h ago

10+? These buildings were designed to have more than 100 people in there..

Castles were defensive structures, not residences for the wealthy of the Middle Ages.

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u/boringbullet 21h ago

I live in France within cycling distance of 3 separate châteaus (residences for the wealthy) and can promise you right now that the ones people will be tricked into thinking they can afford to live in would never in a million years fit over 100 people in them lmao

10 minimum is accurate

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u/JRaus88 20h ago

I think it depends a lot on how we define "castle". We are probably talking about small rural palace fortified in some way.

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u/GirlNumber20 18h ago

You only have to heat the room you're in.

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u/DogeAteMyHomework 21h ago

How to make a small fortune on a castle? Start with a large one.

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u/Cosmo_Seinfeld 21h ago

Because castles are awesome. You can buy one for under 1 million pounds/dollars/euros. But jokes on your bank account if you want to live in it

If you want to go window shopping, here you go.

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u/Illustrious-Act7104 20h ago

Omg delusional me thinking: yep, that’s it, this is where I buy from

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u/WhyNotFerret 19h ago

only 5 for sale in Germany 😔

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u/MrReadilyUnready 18h ago

None of the ones in England are castles. It's a bunch of big houses and country manors.

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u/Whocares7x 6h ago

Everytime my wife wants to look for house ill show her this page

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u/jschundpeter 21h ago

Please point me to a castle (which deserves this name) for under 1 million euros. the land costs more at most places.

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u/Syluxs_OW 21h ago

In Germany, people sometimes give away their castles for free. The reason is that they are protected heritage sites (Denkmalschutz), so you are not allowed to tear them down and use the land for something else. You are also not allowed to change or modernize anything without special permission and you are required by law to keep them intact which costs a fortune.

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u/Best-Structure-8513 12h ago

If they let people put in modern internal conveniences like plumbing and heating more of the castles would probably be preserved.

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u/CuriousButNotJewish 19h ago

Which is so stupid. A law made for the tourism industry at the detriment of house owners.

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u/Kor_Phaeron_ 20h ago

https://schloss-burg-verkauf.de/immobilie/wasserschloss-kaufen-thueringen/

the land costs more at most places.

In rural areas in central Germany, where most castles are located, you pay like €8,000 per acre for forests and €14,000 for grasland.

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u/jschundpeter 20h ago

Fucking crazy! That's by far cheaper than my flat. But it's also in Thuringia ....

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u/Kor_Phaeron_ 20h ago

But your flat doesn't cost 1,5 million maintenance/year. Heating alone is ~150k/year. (And you have to heat it to avoid mold damage)

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u/Jaerba 20h ago

I'd imagine usable Wi-Fi would be a bitch to set up in a castle.

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u/J5892 17h ago

Historically, Germans have a lot of trouble with Bluetooth as well.

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u/jschundpeter 20h ago

Fortunately not, no.

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u/Ill_Emphasis3927 20h ago

There's actually some really decent ones in Ireland for around that price range.

https://castleist.com/castles-for-sale-in-ireland/

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u/T8ert0t 18h ago

Insulation and HVAC Companies: Agree. Castles are great.

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u/nickiter 16h ago

Surely it's possible to select a portion to renovate to modern standards, keeping the rest as a nice historical curiosity? Expensive, to be sure, but people do as much with grand old homes in Connecticut or Virginia every day.

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u/Omnamashivaaya 16h ago

That’s what many people do. But for a lot of these the issues is water-leakage throughout the building and expensive stone masonry repairs to keep the structure stable. Also, finding a stone mason experienced in ‘whatever year it was built’ stone masonry.

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u/nickiter 13h ago

Ah, yeah, masonry is expensive, I had to deal with that in a previous home.

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u/Illustrious-Wolf4857 10h ago

There was one for sale in the neighborhood for 1 DM when I was a teen. Did not look like a picture book castle, more like a somewhat fortified half-timbered farmhouse, still had a roof and all the walls. Listed building. Expected costs of mandatory renovation: seven digits.