The U.N just declared that we have passed the 1.5c threshold to ward off horrible climate catastrophe. I'm struggling to adapt because I can feel how hot things have been lately. I've been in Fl all my life and never has it been this hot. I'm worried about the electricalvgrid giving out, I'm worried about the food shortages due to droughts that will surely happen soon. I just don't wanna watch my loved ones starve to death in my arms. How can we keep hopeful and stoic?

I cut off a friend of mine, because she chose to hang out and be on good terms with someone who had mocked me before (I didn't receive an apology, this person clearly wasn't a safe one). Now, I know that nobody owes me loyalty or commitment, but I'm genuinely curious about how a stoic would act in this situation. I know that I'd still feel resentment towards her and I would never be able to be close to her again if I kept her around, hence the distancing. Would a stoic person justify my response or find it unreasonable?

This is mainly around my discipline with health and fitness, but could also be applicable in other areas too. Diet and exercise is something that I always try to keep in mind, even though I've had periods in my life when I was less disciplined, or more. My question is: why do things like "food logging streak", "number of active Fitbit minutes", "days in a row exercise streak" counters (I call these mindhack tricks) ..why do they matter so much to me? If I miss something, or blow my streak, I'm instantly de-motivated. One day of NOT logging calories always turns into multiple, even if I just did the prior 70 days straight.

In my conscious mind I know the following:

- each day is its own distinct day full of decisions and choices...or even each moment, for that matter. Yesterday does not really matter, right now.

- I know the end goal (being healthy and fit) is the main motivation for me.

- I can recognize all this other stuff (daily streaks, weird superfluous stats) is just fluff and really just going for a run and not eating poorly is what I need to do.

Why does my brain seem to care and be motivated by the things that I know are really just distractions from directly working towards the end goal?

Hi.

Sorry in advanced for my English.

I was telling my girlfriend about how I look at Anger, from my so far understanding of Stoicism and my belief from that.

That I try to reflect on my judgements and my values related to an event or Impressions when I notice that strong emotions are building up, especially emotions related to Anger.

That the Stoic look at full blown Anger as being in a state of "Temporary madness" where all reason is temporary bypassed and is therefore an opposites of our human nature to be harmonious and capable of doing reasoning.

So for me, I try to 'reason away' or clear up why I react on some events with emotions related to Anger.

I was recently asked by my girlfriend: If I do not feel Anger towards a situation where someone had chained a pregnant dog to be drowned in a rising river.

I answered that I initially feel Angry, sad and disappointed in a person`s judgement that this action is justified, or found it to be the right thing to in the person`s situation.

That I cannot easily answer why I think that it is not justified or the right thing for me to build up Anger and resentment towards this person or the situation.

I think that there are some established Stoic beliefs that a person should already be be familiar with before trying to answer this question.
I would like to hear your views around this and maybe what you would have answered ?

The main thing that attracted me to stoicism was the idea of emulating the stoic sage and living with virtue. I've always struggled with excessive self-criticism, lack of impulse control and feeling ashamed of how I act after acting out in those ways. Stoicism aligned perfectly with who I want to be, especially when I learn more about figures like Marcus Aurelius and Socrates. I want to stop being controlled by my passions and actually manifest the traits I admire in others.

The 33rd chapter of the Enchiridion really stuck with me. Assigning myself a certain manner that fits my role, which as far as I understood is simply being the best person I can and living with virtue.

But I'm not sure how I would actually apply the things I'm learning. I've made small changes(it never feels enough) in my life through meditation, being more conscious. I still fail at these a lot and feel like shit every time. It feels like I'm just reading things and changing my views and thoughts, but my body and life don't follow. Like there's a gap between my actions and my thoughts making me a hypocrite. I certainly don't act like a stoic and feel ashamed at that.

Beyond reading and meditating, what are other things we can do to cultivate traits of a sage?

I'm still somewhat new to stoicism, so if I've misunderstood anything I would appreciate someone calling me out!

Okay, some of you may know me from my last post.

(Recap i basically talked about how to get motivation, M16)

I have thought about it, and realised its my phone, but not the phone itself, the people in it. After a LONG session of questioning, i found out that i only checked my phone just to see if anyone replied to my stories, if anyone texted me, and realised thats how it got me into the hook of scrolling and wasting valuable time.

How do i deattach myself from my desire of love and attention? Please help me. I dont want anything to be my master. Especially my desires.

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I have a lot of dreams and I cant let go some of them. As I grew up, there are new things i want to achieve.. the prob is, I can not seem to focus.

Ik epictetus said to let go of desire so you wouldnt be enslaved to it, however, marcus aurelius wrote something like artist are ought to do art and so musician and others that they forgot to eat (lol something like that) but the gist is that these people are passionate or even obsessed to do their craft.

Rn idk what to do since i feel like im running out of time. Im not afraid of death but i really felt like im left behind. I just want to feel fulfilled towards my work. I want to be obsessed on something. I honestly dont know what to ask exactly. Maybe an advice to determine what really matters? Thank you, been pondering on this for weeks! ;-;

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Since some of you seem to have trouble grasping it, here's what it looks like:

Something happens to me.

I experience emotions. I have thoughts.

Then I can watch them in real time, almost like a third-person observer, and think:

"Why am I feeling this emotion or having this thought right now? Is it useful? Does it help me in this situation? If the answer is no, what can I think or do instead that would help?"

And then the negative emotions or thoughts stop. I can move on with my day, or whatever else I'm doing.

Honestly, it feels like having a superpower.

(It works about 90-95% of the time. I've practiced it repeatedly over many years. Start with easy situations when you're not stressed.)

Hope this gives you a glimpse of what it feels like to be a Stoic!

Live virtuously!

BR,
Mike

Internal emptiness is represented by a beautiful house on the best side of town, when you walk in it the view of the outside world changes, the house has no interior design, no pictures, no beautiful trimming, and no windows that capture a lovely scenery, a sheer blank slate of empty thoughts and guests that wouldn’t want to stay for too long after realizing what is truly inside.

i am college students . its been like nearly one year . A girl come to approach me and i reject her but she keep insisting and daily approaching me so after 1 month i finally accpt and do healthy relationship for 3 month and got attached . Love from her side was very deep ( she feel/shows like it ) . And she cheats me with multiple boys and she doesnt tell me anything kill contant after i know from my friends after a week i ask her she says she was drunks and she doesnt feel guilty and its cool things . i was shocked i feel disappointed for myself and quit going to college and mostly dipressed on sitting room at that time i dont have mobile so i was mostly offline .

after i go to college i know she

was widowed ( after 3 month of marriage ) in 18 year right know she is 19 .

she was widow whole time she tells me all lies when i ask for her family member and about her life , then i know to know she used me and i dont know why she does ...

how should i accpt it i give my full to love her but all things she said to me was lie ..

i feel bad when i see her my mind just think about her but i cant move to future .

he used to do drinking , smoking and all other things .

i mostly focus on my physical health exercise and i never touch any substance that why she leaves me ( she didnt give me reason for leaving and i dont find any fault from myself )

i know i can fully stoic in some days or month but how to think or just try to act in this sistuation from stoic perferance .. and i just feel bad about her ..

I was going through a lot of development since the last month, reading stoic books (Currently reading Letters to Lucius) working out, playing an instrument, journaling and socializing.

But for the last 5 days, i completely lost motivation for everything. I dont know what happened or why it happened. I usually went to failure in my exercises. Now i cant feel the will to do so. I get bored while reading, and just decide to scroll on my phone. I have lost all my interest in my flute.

what would a stoic do to regain his motivation? do i need motivation? 16M

I live in a Muslim country and there are mosques everywhere. One mosque has its volume set high and when the windows are open I get about 90 dB inside my home when adhan is being sung with open windows.

I am not Muslim and it’s 5:30 am here and I was just woken up due to this. I have to already wake up early and this ruined my sleep. I can’t sleep again.

It is very frustrating.

I can report this to the government and ask them to lower their sound but that would mean giving my name to want that and that is problematic.

I have a Bluetooth earphone but I don’t want to sleep with a Bluetooth device next to my brain.

Also my phone doesn’t have an audio jack and even if it did I don’t want to strangle myself with cord when I am sleeping.

I could move to a western Christian country but there is no guarantee a mosque won’t pop up next to my house and ruin my sleep again.

Any tips on how to manage the frustration and prevent waking up?

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Here’s their Instagram page:

https://www.instagram.com/thestoiccs?igsi=OHQxZjhpdDV5bnVi

And the link to order the PDF volumes are there at the top. At least I think it’s just PDF’s?

I’m thinking about getting this as a gift for my mom, they pop up on my feed pretty regularly and are pretty interesting to read. Especially with how they relate the principles to everyday thoughts and feelings.

I’m wondering if this is how the full 1500 page PDF works, if anybody has purchased it yet? I haven’t seen a preview of any actual pages yet, but they have a million followers so seems legit.

I’m a young guy 22M trying to work more on my emotional control. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my mental state & temperament and been trying to find a healthy middle ground of necessary violence vs irrational behaviour.

When I was young I was around a lot of violence for a lot of stages of my life so naturally that made me a very violent person but as I grew older after some poor decisions as a teen I started to mellow out a bit, to a point that felt like it was more so cowardice than it was being “the bigger person”.

In my early 20’s tho I’ve started to find a more healthy middle ground of a calm/Serene mental state, whilst still being combative & confrontational when needed. But sometimes I still find myself going back to that immature state of “irrational decisions” I know no one is perfect & considering my background, age & being a young man I’m bound to act out but I do try to be someone I can be proud of in terms of my actions.

Sometimes tho there’s ppl in my life or around that seem to want to incur a rise out of me, and even tho I know I should pay no attention to them as they most likely only do it as they’re unhappy with their sorry lives I still find myself wanting to “prove something” or “put them in their place” even tho I know I have nothing to prove.

I’m someone that has struggled with massive anxiety, depression & just anger issues for a lot of my young life so it’s taken a lot of work to get to this point. But sometimes it feels like I still care… not because I care for these ppls opinions but more to satisfy my own ego, basically for those who have experienced the same struggles, what was your turning point or thing that you learnt that finally shifted your perspective towards genuine total calm?

The techniques I learnt when I 1st started delving into stoicism was decatastrophizing & some other thing that involved removing yourself from a place emotionally & sometimes mentally even if you were present physically(I forget the name but this greatly helped me reduce anxiety). But honestly despite these I still succumb to my emotions at times.

Is scientifically proven that women, young women generally, are attracted to dark triad traits. These are narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism.

Narcissism looks like extreme self-assurance, ambition, and high self-worth.

Psychopathy looks like fearlessness, boldness, and a thrilling "bad boy" edge.

Machiavellianism looks like social intelligence, competence, and the ability to take charge.

These dark triad traits are in reality the complete opposite of stoicism. It sees people as expendable tools, it lacks impulse control, its cynical, it has grand self importance…

And honestly the Stoic traits are not attractive interesting and thrilling to women as the dark triad ones.

When I told about stoicism to a woman and the virtues like Courage, Justice; she thought it’s useless and made fun of Marcus Aurelius. She thinks that he is an extremely boring and serious person.

Stoicism lacks that fun and adrenaline and dopamine rush that is attractive to women.

Any thoughts?

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Female 30 years old. I started feeling my dreams go around late 20s and after recently turning 30 I no longer have any dreams and sometimes I do find it hard to keep going. My main dreams were having a family, getting married, and traveling the world. I had so many relationships I now feel jaded and no longer feel a spark with anyone. One was serious enough to become engaged but the relationship exploded and ended on horrible terms. I’m getting older and don’t want a high risky pregnancy or have to go through IVF and I don’t think adoption is for me. I traveled to a few countries in my early 20s and I loved it, but I’m not as financially comfortable and I don’t have the same curiosity about the world I did when I was younger. I’d like to set goals to have something to look forward to because that’s what always pushed me to keep going. I started going to the gym two years ago and I consider myself to have a nice body and fit now, so that goal is complete it just requires maintenance. I don’t know where I’m going anymore.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

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Rules:

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2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
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I’ve been thinking about a possible conflict between Stoicism and the idea that humans don’t really have free will.

A central idea in Stoicism is the dichotomy of control: distinguish between what is under our control and what isn’t, and focus our effort on the former. Our judgments, choices, and responses are usually put in the “under our control” category.

But what if we don’t actually have free will?

Sapolsky argues at length in Determined that our decisions are ultimately the result of biology, environment, previous experiences, brain states, hormones, and an enormous chain of prior causes that we didn’t choose. There’s also a broader body of neuroscience and psychology that at least raises serious questions about the traditional idea of free will.

If that view is correct, then even my judgments and reactions aren’t ultimately something I “control.” They’re also consequences of previous causes.

So what does the Stoic dichotomy of control mean in a deterministic universe?

Is “under my control” supposed to mean something weaker, like actions that are causally influenced by my own reasoning, even if that reasoning itself is determined?

For example, reading Stoicism might causally change how my brain responds to frustration in the future. So practicing Stoicism could still be useful even without free will—but then “control” seems more like a practical concept than literal ultimate control.

Or is there a deeper incompatibility between hard determinism and Stoicism?

I’m especially curious how people who reject libertarian free will interpret Epictetus’s idea of what is “up to us.”

In Pro Murena, Cicero defends his client Lucius Murena against an electoral-bribery prosecution brought in part by Cato the Younger, a famous Stoic statesman. Cicero’s strategy is not to attack the merits of the case but of the prosecutor; what’s more, he does not so much attack Cato’s character as he lampoons it. Specifically, in order to discredit his Stoic opponent, he presents an intentionally distorted image of what Stoics believe. While we can certainly rebut his portrayal, it is interesting to see how Stoicism in ancient times was distorted and misunderstood just as it often is today.

For example: Cicero begins his attack with praise, indicating Cato’s greatness comes from nature, but Stoic training has made him harsher than human nature or practical truth can bear:

For nature herself has adjusted your disposition to the requirements of honourable, serious, temperate, high-minded, just, and generally virtuous conduct, and so produced in you a great and noble man.

Then he adds:

But to these natural gifts has been added the practice of a philosophy which is not judicious or gentle, but as it seems to me, rather too rough and hard to adapt itself to the realities of human nature.

Cicero then caricatures the so-called “Stoic paradoxes” for comic effect. He lists doctrines associated with Zeno and the Stoics:

The ideally wise man is never affected by influence and never pardons anyone's fault : no one is forgiving but the foolish and weak : no true man allows himself to be dissuaded or pacified

He continues:

All transgressions are equally heinous; every misdeed is an abominable crime.

He then leans in with the cultural taboo:

a man who has killed a barn-door fowl unnecessarily has committed as great a fault as a man who has strangled his father.

Toward his fellow Romans, who presumably respected Cato’s famous Stoic integrity, Cicero presents Stoicism as a philosophy that collapses all moral distinctions and leaves no room for mercy, persuasion, political compromise, or proportionate judgment. He makes Cato look like someone whose moral seriousness has hardened into unreasonableness.

But Cicero’s point is not that “Stoicism is bad;” he is speaking as a defense advocate in a political trial, with every reason to exaggerate. He is trying to make the jury laugh at Cato’s severity and see Murena’s alleged misconduct as minor, forgivable, and politically survivable.

Still, the criticism lands today because it raises a real question for would-be modern Stoics: how should philosophical rigor operate in public life?

Cicero contrasts Stoic severity with the “moderate and sound views” of Plato and Aristotle’s schools:

... that the good man may show pity ; that it is possible to distinguish between misdeeds, and that punishment admits of degrees ; that a consistent man finds occasions for exercising forgiveness...

This is really the heart of Cicero’s critique: civic life requires mercy, flexibility, and proportionality. A statesman cannot treat every fault as equally catastrophic, nor can he govern as if ordinary citizens were sages.

Cicero later warns Cato not to condemn ancestral Roman customs with excessive severity:

Do not be so ready, then, Cato, to censure in too severe terms traditional practices, which are justified by their own propriety as well as by the prolonged existence of our empire.

All quotes Cicero, Pro Murena, trans. Blakiston

I’d summarize Cicero’s critique like this:

1. Cicero respects Cato’s virtue, but thinks Stoic doctrine has made him too severe.
2. He mocks the so-called Stoic paradoxes: the sage alone is truly free/rich/kingly; all non-sages are morally lost; all sins are equal. What reasonable person could believe such nonsense?
3. He argues that civic life requires mercy, flexibility, and proportionality (how convenient for his Client).
4. His attack is partly unfair and comedic, because he is defending Murena in court.
5. But it raises a serious issue: Philosophy, and Stoicism especially, if practiced without practical wisdom, can look less like virtue and more like self-righteousness and arrogance.

Of note, Cicero and Cato were tenuous friends and occasional political allies, and Cicero praises the Stoics far more than he criticizes them. Winning the case in court, however, would seem to be the important point to Cicero, and Cato would presumably understand and expect as much.