I just wanted to ask because we have been going on for 3 days continuously and that too for hours. The least we did was last night for 3 hours, and he is making me feel bad for stopping.

Don't you guys get tired or hands hurt after all that sexting?

I'm a influencer and kind of model sometimes too I have a descent following on insta.My content is mostly traditional outfits, fashion, fit checks, and occasionally dancing to trends. Nothing on my account is sexual or vulgar.

I’ve been dating a guy for around two months. He has some political connections/influence, which is part of why this situation is making me even more nervous.

During our relationship, we became intimate and consensuall, recorded some private videos together. I agreed to being recorded at the time and trusted him completely. Obviously I never agreed to those videos being shared with anyone.

We recently broke up because his behavior became increasingly controlling, possessive, and toxic. Since the breakup he has started making comments that make me uncomfortable. At one point he basically implied that if I don't get back together with him, he could leak the videos.

When I confronted him about it he brushed it off and said he was "just kidding" and that he would never actually hurt me. But then he makes another comment later that sounds like a threat again.

I genuinely don't know whether he's bluffing or whether he would actually do it if he doesn't get what he wants. The fact that he has the videos and knows that I'm worried about my reputation makes me feel like he has something he can use to control me.

I'm scared to tell people around me because I'm worried about the consequences and the amount of attention this could bring. I'm also wondering whether I should involve the police or a lawyer now, even though he hasn't actually posted anything yet.

For anyone who has dealt with something similar what should I do right now? Should I preserve the messages and report the threats before anything is leaked? And is there anything I can do to make sure the videos can't be distributed?

I don't want to get back together with someone just because I'm afraid of what he might do. I just want to handle this safely and legally before the situation gets worse.

He is my first love. We've been together for 8 years. We have seen each other grow. He had many issues in beginning like anger issues, issues related to self worth, etc. i always pushed him and helped him. He always gave me a lot of credit. I also am flawed, I'm a jealous person.

Sometime into the relationship he talked to a colleague a lot and lied to me about it and the way they talked seemed like too much. If he would have told me earlier I sure would be jealous. It's just that he doesn't talk to Bois like that, rarely talks to his guy friends. So when he talked to that girl for hours and days, i was v uncomfortable. More so about the lies.

Sometime later, he had a childhood friend whom he hadn't met in years. I wanted to meet her too. But to me as long as my bf isn't like emotionally attached to other females, I feel secured, otherwise i get jealous. But then that childhood friend came to his house for 3 days, stayed, and he messaged her I miss you after she left. And this is not the way he talk to guys at all. His friends from college. No no. So when I saw his message, I was jealous. And then later he said let's go on a trip with her, her bf and you and me. I said I don't even know her, you have just met her after years for 3 days. And I'll be uncomfortable. So we dropped it.

But the damage to me was done, everytime a female came, I was scared that he might form closeness with her. So I would ask him questions, and I would seek validation.

I started therapy for my jealousy issues and was working on them.

Years passed. I had problem with porn thing. He slipped twice, but I was hurt yet i was like ok.

And then when this porn thing happened again, i said breakup, he cried a lot saying he can't live without me and what not that he'll always wait for me.

I was processing it. He was v vocal on how he was addict from childhood that's why. He strictly doesn't like porn in relationshipa and he will do abstinence forever

Blah blah

I said don't be so harsh

But he kept on saying I will set a record for myself, I will do abstinence.

Tbf I was ok with porn, but not gooning to insta influencers.

Anyways when I was fig.things out, 2 months passed. And then he started being v distant. Like rude. Not talking. I was always kind to him. I gave him space. And then my bday came he didn't call me, i was v sad. Then finally he broke up with me. Saying that he has realised we are different people. After 8 years he is saying that. That I'm a person who enjoys time alone, and he in groups. That he's maybe ok with porn.

Never in 8 years he even hinted at that. I wanted to improve. I've always been an introvert. Yet i hang out in groups. There were years when I wanted to go out and due to his anxiety issues, we never did. I was always there for him. I don't understand. Before telling me about the breakup, he called his childhood friend and talked to her about our situation. I just feel hurt.

And he was so angry and cold when he left.

He said im sorry I was selfish, i should have told before. I know him for 8 years. We were very happy. Very. I don't understand. There are many things I'm baffled about, but maybe I'll reply in comments. It feels 8 years were a lie. I thought I knew him I wanted to work on my issues. I wanted him to choose me, like I chose him, everytime.

I'm not saying looks don't matter. It absolutely does, but when I've an option to choose between the hottest girl and a not so hot girl with emotional maturity and less baggage. I'd choose the latter anyday.

I (19 M) wants to fix his relationship with gf (19F)

So where do i begin, just here to share it with someone. I 19M wants to fix his relationship with his gf 19F. We have been dating for the past year but since the past month we are on a very rough patch. It began with me not understanding her and i fixed myself so I understood that she needed time, so i gave it. But somewhere along the way she stopped choosing me and started choosing her every time and i still chose her a lot of times. I am doing my absolute best like dropping her to her home even when it gets late for me.. and a lot more. I even kept my biggest ego aside for her but somehow it feels like she doesn’t care anymore.. feels like she has changed. Feels like she doesn’t love me anymore. I am honestly trying my best make thongs right. She is even talking to someone who clearly used to have feelings for her and i told her not to talk to him cuz because of him a lot of things happened between us and both of us got hurt, and she started it again… so am i insane ?

19F here. My boyfriend is 21M and we've been together for a while. I genuinely don't know what to do with myself right now.

He told me he was “out with the boys.” Around midnight, I randomly saw his car parked behind a café, so I went over thinking I'd surprise him.

I wish I hadn't.

The windows were fogged, his clothes were all over the seats, and there was another girl inside with him.

I just stood there for a few seconds completely numb. Like my brain genuinely couldn't process what I was seeing.

Then I knocked.

The second he saw me, his face changed.

He got out saying, “Baby, please, listen to me.”

And I swear I wanted to scream at him, but I just started crying. I kept asking him, “Why would you do this to me?”

He kept saying it was a mistake, that he was sorry and that he loved me.

But I couldn't even look at him.

I drove home crying the entire way. He called me so many times but I couldn't pick up.

I just sat on my bedroom floor staring at my phone and thinking about every time he'd told me, “You can trust me.”

And that's the part that's killing me.

I actually did.

I still love him and that's making this even worse. I don't know if I'm being stupid for even considering hearing him out.

What would you guys do in my place? Do I even give him a chance to explain, or is this something I should just walk away from?

This is my genuine observation okay and I am not trying to judge anyone.

During college days and even the first years of work, most people were extremely against arranged marriage. This assumption that all of us are going to find the love of our lives and marry them. Now as a lof of us in our mid-twenties and some nearing thirties, somehow it’s become fine for AM. 

This one friend who recently got married through a matrimony site, I asked him about it. He says his family opened the account and set him up.

I mean, I am happy for them and they seem to have good chemistry but I was really shocked to say the least. He was literally one of those people who used to say he'd never have an arranged marriage.

Me (26F) and my bf (23M) have been together since more than a year. We met online, are LDR, but have met each other twice and are planning on meeting again soon by the end of the year. He's from Gujarat and comes from a somewhat traditional family and area.

Something happened today that really bothered me. He was at home, as usual and we were on call when his dad's friend visited them and started telling him about this girl who lives nearby. Uncle was asking my bf to meet the girl and whatnot. My bf came back to talk to me and told me everything. When I asked him what his response was, he said that he didn't say anything and simply left.

Now here's the issue: my bf doesn't have a good relationship with his dad and is constantly telling me he wants to move out and move in with me in the near future when we're financially stable enough. I'm from Assam, and he's pretty sure the distance means his dad won't accept the relationship, but he's 100% adamant he will leave even if they don't and marry me.

Now, I do trust him to some extent, but it icked me that a guy who cannot even tell his dad's friend 'no I have a gf' and simply decides to walk away quietly after such a situation, will be able to leave his family and come stay with me. I have no doubt he wants to, but does he even have the courage? When I asked him why he didn't just say directly that he's not interested, he said he didn't want to make a scene since he was his dad's friend, which seemed kind of like an opt out to me.

I know some might question my trust in my bf, but it's not just that. As someone who has seen way too much of these Indian men doing an 180 right before marriage, I think a lot of you will agree that it's in my best interest to be cautious.

I asked him directly and we got into an argument, and I plan to bring it up again tonight. I just need advice on whether I'm overthinking this issue/should just let it go, or is it something I should think about clearly.

TLDR: bf comes from a trad family. someone told him about a girl for arranged marriage and he said nothing in response. now I doubt he doesn't have enough courage to fight for our relationship if push comes to shove

Me (F22) and my boyfriend (M21) have been in a relationship for two years now, but our relationship has gone significantly downhill. It has affected both of us mentally to the extent that we have become suicidal.

The worst part is that my boyfriend hates me now, while I’m still in love with him. However, I don’t want to trouble him anymore or ruin his mental peace. At the end of the day, I always wanted it to be him. He has been my only safe space, but he doesn’t see me in the same light anymore and wants to break asap.

I don’t blame him because our relationship has been draining for him, especially because I repeatedly pushed him to try this relationship even when he didn’t want to, largely due to my anxiety and attachment issues. Despite everything, he was always there for me during my panic attacks. But now, he can’t help me anymore because he isn’t doing well himself.

I don’t want him to do something suicidal because of me. I genuinely want him to be okay, even if that means I have to learn to manage without depending on him emotionally.

So, people who struggle with anxiety or severe attachment issues, how do you manage things on your own? How did you learn to regulate yourself and stop depending on one person as your only safe space?
I would really appreciate any advice or personal experiences.

So the thing is he is going in a week for his master's and i cannot meet him due to my exams and ofc he lives in another state i cannot compensate meeting with any thing but what can I gift him in budget which is easy or small to pack and also something wholesome which can be useful too I am so confused!!!!

So there’s this girl in school somehow from her friends they have probably got an idea that I have a crush on her! She speaks with me daily like when we are sitting she would come herself. She laughs on my jokes blushes on compliments even asks for compliments. This has been happening for over 2 weeks. But once my friend asked her that he things I like her a while back then she said I am not over my ex rn. Tho now it feels like she’s over him as she says a lot that he abused me cheated on me I don’t even wanna think about him. She also asked me about my ex and all and outta all the guys in the class she said you are still better. Now what confuses me is that would she be interested if I proposed her! Reason being she is extremely hyper expressive and talkative but on IG extremely dry!!! Idk whether I should speak with her on ig more. Or what? Last night I asked her about class she said hm no just this so I thought she’s not in the mood to talk I left! But idk what to do? She’s speaking with me even after knowing I’ve got a crush on her so wdys?

OK, so me and my girlfriend started dating in standard 11th then we had a long distance relationship for the next seven years where we could meet each other occasionally like every two months or something, she is the only person that I have ever known love through. I care a lot about her and we have grown together since our 20s and it was going wonderful and I was very happy and very content with the relationship even being long distance. It never felt like something is missing. There was so much security trust everything.

Around three years ago, she was diagnosed with depression and while I have been OK with it, but I have felt that it started to affect me as in a lot of my happiness was dependent on me, making her happy, but I couldn't do that anymore and it was getting difficult for me and I think eventually I got exhausted and very tired and also felt like I was not being taken care of but at the same time I used to feel so guilty about thinking about myself when she was going through so much and that is why I suppressed these feelings for a very long time.

There has been issues in the relationship in the first one being she doesn't want a kid and I do and it has been a topic of debate ever since, but we postponed it initially because it was so early and then later, I first tried to tell myself that I'll be OK by not having a kid, but it didn't work as I felt no I can't go like that and then when we had the discussion, she told me that she doesn't want it, but she will do it for me which to me seems completely unacceptable because it is a life altering decision and it might lead to resentment forever.

Then there has been the issue of different sexual drive, but I think everything else was so great that we never considered these any issues and we were OK with it.

Then a few months back, I started developing feelings for this other girl because I kind of felt like I can be happier and that maybe I can lead a better life where someone is also taking care of me and it came with a lot of guilt that I can. I be so selfish but eventually, I came to realize that maybe I am also human and I also want to be taken care of so I told my girlfriend about these feelings for new girl and it broke her heart which broke my heart because this is something that none of us ever expected, and this was something that had happened for the first time in the eight years that we have been together.

Now I keep going back to this girl even when I promise my girlfriend that I won't because we are in an environment where we have to see each other, and I genuinely love talking to this new girl and spending time with her and that has created so much tension between me and my girlfriend and I feel so hurt and guilty of hurting her but at the same time I feel like maybe I'm not wrong and I also deserve this happiness. What are your thoughts about this?

What led you to this moment and how long did it take you to recover from this incident?

I want to break up with my boyfriend because I just don’t think we’re compatible and I honestly don’t see a future with him.

He keeps saying that he’ll change for me and he has said this throughout our relationship too. He has changed some things, but I feel like at the end of the day you can’t change someone’s entire nature or personality. There are things about him that I know are just part of who he is. He’s very stubborn and sometimes honestly very childlike, and I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m constantly waiting for him to change into someone else.

The day I told him I wanted to break up, he told me that he didn’t want to live anymore and that he would kill himself. Since then, it’s been around a month and he has constantly been begging me to get back with him. He keeps promising that he’ll change and that things will be different, but I genuinely don’t believe that getting back together is the right thing to do. Even if he does change some things, I don’t think we are right for each other.

He also keeps calling me from random numbers using some app, and it’s honestly starting to scare me. He once came near the place where I have my extracurricular class and started asking me to get back with him there. I keep telling him the same thing over and over again, that I don’t want to be in this relationship, but then he starts begging and promising everything will change and I just end up feeling guilty and scared again.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I just want him to accept that I don’t want to be with him and leave me alone, but I’m scared of what might happen if I completely cut him off. Please help.

I '22f' told my boyf '23M' told my boyfriend about my caste, so today after 5 months of serious dating he asked me about my future plans and i told him everything, he gave me few advise , this whole conversation started when he mentioned one of his female friend cleared ugc net and his female's friend boyf who's also his closest friend couldn't cleared it even though he has reservation, both me and my boyf we are very anti caste people he graduated with his BA and MA both from JNU this year, and while coming home I thought of telling him that i come from an obc category he's from general category though, after telling him he called me but I couldn't pick up and then he texted me that he doesn't care about this at all i said i know this he said 'yahi btana tha bs' i said cool and then he said I'm going to sleep i said okay, but when we met today he mentioned he wanted to fix he's sleep schedule so he will be sleeping early today at night around 10 but then he texted that his sleeping now, is he ignoring me or something or is he trying to distance me from him after knowing about my caste.

First of all I’m stupid at picking up any hints so spare me if you read somethings in this post that should have been the hint,

I have been a free bird since my last relationship ended in 2020 (no regrets/no strings attached) and had no plans to be in one or was actively looking for it, it did felt alone when friends were getting into relationships and even are at stage where they are ready to marry their loved ones and here i am just hoping to break into my career.

So coming to the question, I(28) met this girl(23) early this year at an branch office I would join next day but was sent from the main office to meet the main guy, I was very nervous about the new workplace but to my surprise there was no one at that time except for her and the chatterbox asked so much questions as if i was giving another interview. Too bad girl now instead of the work i'd be thinking about what could have been said better during our conversation.

I joined the office next day and to my surprise what i saw yesterday was something different and she is just shy/silent or more in her words "an introvert trying to be extrovert because people assume her to be rude first time" which she would tell me later on, to be fair to her i don't just assume anyone to be rude only when their actions are rude then i know for sure, anyways there were other people at the workplace and i was more comfortable with others and except for normal conversation at workplace we barely talked about anything else.

Then Fast forward to May where things changed we started messaging each other on Insta, whatsapp and Snapchat about some random stuff not completely casual and then in mid-may she was to go on leave for her final sem exams and I too was going to start my own things in July so i left in May too, yes if you haven't guessed it yet i'm an adv and between her last exam and my venture there was summer vacation in between.

So after her exam we started meeting each other mostly with friends not alone and then came my birthday ^{remember me being free bird?} I went to a 1 day out with my best friend to Dehradun/Mussorie a day before and I know my friends they didn't need to call me to wish a simple message is fine but apparantely someone was more excited about it then me because what do you mean i'll be 29, i don't feel a day over 21 and birthday's are never my thing. I woke up at 11 to find notifications of call and message from her, we spoke then made a plan for the day to celebrate. My best friend and our common friend from office joined.

So the whole June went casually and then i started my venture and got overwhelmed with work and she too was busy getting enroled and office but during all the hassle we started to talk a little more each day, started meeting more regularly.

And now coming back to my question, the meeting/dates? have become common since my office is near her workplace, I want to meet then she will join and if she wants to meet (even by this text you can guess and i wouldn't say no). We have started making plans to go out and what to do on dayoff, etc. my friend asks whats the status between us and I am like "dekhte hain" (T: Let's see about it) but all i want to say instead is I really don't know what's in future but i like what i have right now.

Anyways do you think she is into me? Or I'm delusional? and if it's first should i keep going like this or is it too slow and suggest some tips for your fellow redditor on what to i can do and if it's delusion then i better start prepare for the eventual heartbreak.

TLDR: I suck at taking hints and don't know if the girl is into me even after talking/going out for so long.

I (M 35) have been single since the last 3 years mainly because my last relationship ended as a trainwreck and i realised I have a v good life being single. I don't think I'm in the mood to enter a serious relationship. My mood is partly affected by news of many friends and colleagues getting divorced, affairs, lawsuits, police cases, etc.

I matched with a divorced lady (F36) on an app. She has a kid and has been divorced for a couple of years. I don't know what she wants relationship wise, but her life priority seems to be her kid, which I suport 100%.

If this lady is into me and wants a physical relationship, what are some things I should be aware of before deciding whether to go forward or not?

This is going to be long, but I need to lay all of it out because I don't think anywhere else I will get the help except this sub.

I'm 19, in my third year of college, living in a tier 1 city while my family is originally from UP. My parents are strict, conservative, orthodox, and honestly have some kind of god complex, they genuinely believe they are incapable of being wrong about anything, ever. Since I was a child, they have controlled almost every part of my life. I wasn't allowed to make friends. I wasn't allowed to hang out. I wasn't allowed to leave the house without an explanation and an interrogation waiting for me when I got back. Every single restriction, every rule, every punishment was justified with the same line, that this is what protects our sanskaar. I was forced to do puja path on their schedule, not mine. I had zero privacy, not in my thoughts, not in my space, not in my time. I was mostly just expected to do housework and stay quiet. This wasn't a phase, this was my entire childhood all the way through 12th grade. Years and years of it.

Somewhere around 12th, I found it in myself to push back, quietly and carefully, and I eventually managed to get one room to myself. Just one room. That was the absolute bare minimum I had to fight for, and it took years to get even that. Then college happened, and because my campus is far from home, even as a day scholar I finally got a real taste of freedom. I spent most of my day out. I bunked classes sometimes just to breathe and exist somewhere that wasn't home. I made friends who actually supported me, who I could talk to without being monitored or judged. For the first time in my life, I was building something that felt like mine. It wasn't everything, but it was real progress, and I held onto it like my life depended on it, because in a way it did.

Two days ago, everything collapsed. My mother and I had a fight that turned ugly fast. She started it, but I won't pretend I was blameless, because years, literal years, of suppressed resentment and hate came pouring out of me too. I said things I had been holding in since I was a child. I'm not proud of everything I said, but I also can't pretend it came from nowhere.

The next day I came home from college and found my study table, my laptop, and my belongings physically removed from my room and dumped in the living room. Like I was being erased from my own space as punishment. We fought again, and this time it was worse than the first. It escalated to the point where they were telling me they would stop me from going to college entirely, that college is what "gave me wings" and made me disrespectful, that I've become someone they don't recognize and don't want in their house behaving this way. They took my room. They put timings on my phone like I'm a child being grounded. They are forcing me back into daily puja like none of the last few years of small, hard earned progress ever happened.

Every bit of ground I gained, slowly, carefully, over years, is gone. Completely gone, in the space of two days. I feel like I've been reset back to zero, except now it's worse, because I know exactly what I'm losing this time. I'm not confused about what freedom feels like anymore, which makes losing it again so much harder to sit with.

They genuinely believe that controlling every part of me, my time, my space, my beliefs, my relationships, will somehow "fix" my thinking and make me who they want me to be. It won't. All it's doing is making me feel like I'm slowly dying inside this house. I have no illusions left that they will ever support me moving out for a job, or choosing my own partner, or making any major decision about my own life. This house feels less like a home and more like a sentence I'm serving until I can find a way out.

I've been getting intrusive thoughts lately, about running away, about just disappearing from this situation entirely. I'm not writing that for sympathy, I'm writing it because I think it says everything about how suffocating this has become. I watch my friends living normal college lives, going out, making mistakes, having their teenage years, and I'm sitting here writing a Reddit post because I don't know who else to say any of this to.

Is there an actual way out of a situation like this, or does it just keep repeating until I have no choice but to leave for good someday. I'm tired of shrinking myself just to keep a fragile peace that gets shattered the moment I try to exist as my own person.

Idk how tf I got sooo lucky 😭

Everything in my life was falling apart. I ruined things, made stupid choices, trusted the wrong people. I was hurt, betrayed, abandoned… and there was a point where I had almost zero will left in me.

I don't wanna act like a victim though. I actually hate being vulnerable. I've cried enough..alone, in front of people and I've never really known what it feels like to be comforted for crying.

I just had my brother. He's basically my built-in best friend.

And then somehow… I'm dating my FIRST CRUSH. 😭

I'm calling him Princess here. 👑

I have the weirdest difficulty accepting that someone actually loves me. But for the first time in my life, I feel loved. Cared for. Comforted.

After my brother, he's the only person in front of whom I can completely be myself. I can yap without thinking, be stupid, be emotional, be annoying… and he still stays. 😭

Today I went to meet him secretly and then my dad called.

My immediate thought: “bas bhai, gand lagi.” 💀

But Princess was just like, “Mere hote hue tujhe kabhi tension lene ki need nahi hai.”

AND THEN HE DROPPED ME HOME even though he had his own stuff to do.

Maybe that's a small thing to someone else.

But to me? It means everything.

I just love him.

His eyes. His smile. The way he looks at me. The way he cares. Literally EVERYTHING. 😭

He's my boyfriend, but he's also my friend. My safe person. My favourite human.

And then this man texted me:

“Pri I genuinely love you yrr.”

BRO I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD 😭😭😭

Kicking my legs. Staring at my phone like an idiot.

Princess, if you ever see this -

I just want you to know that you are loved too.

So fucking loved. 🥹

You are my first love, my best friend, and honestly, one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to me.

I don't know what tomorrow looks like.

I just know that if life ever gets too heavy for you, I want to be the person who reminds you:

“Mere hote hue tujhe kabhi tension lene ki need nahi hai.” 🫶🏻👑

Same as above.

My girlfriend told me that she would break up with me if she does not get into a govt nursing college in the stray round note she already got admitted to the best semi govt nursing college in our state , I don't know how to react , earlier she said she would leave social media but not me , but yesterday she said she would leave me and told me to pray hard for her to get into the college , even though she told me earlier that she hates the fact that always everyone leaves her alone and made me promise that to not leave her ever she also vowed to never leave me , even we decided and talked about kids marriage but all of a sudden , I don't know what I am supposed to do now

I am 34. Working in Faang and earning close to a crore in base and goes way higher with bonus and rsus.

I have been into a kinky lifestyle for a long time now. Easy to find for short term but struggling when it comes to long term.

Any advice?

I was in a good relationship with a girl for around 1 year. After 1 year, we broke up but she still stayed in touch. I broke up because she was going to get married to someone richer than me. She is 10/10 and richer than me so obviously she is gonna marry a very rich guy.

She still remembers me and one week ago she burnt her wrist in order to cope up with that. I had blocked her from everywhere but somehow she connected with me on google meet after the burn.

Yesterday there was a fight between us and she blocked me. Again.

This time I am thinking of ending this forever but there is a huge dilemma. My ex and my sister have a lot in common. They would have been the same age if my sister were alive today. Unfortunately I wasn't close to my sister and was away during her last time. Her demise shook me to the core and this girl doesn't value her life that much. At the time of her cremation, I decided to always be for people who need love and support.

Somehow I feel like to be available for her because I can't afford to see her dead but I shall also leave her because she is not my responsibility anymore. I am so so confused what to do.

Watching her with her fiance hurts me but leaving her forever is a big decision. Please help!