Day 12.
Today started pretty late.
I woke up around 9:30 AM after sleeping around 2 AM because I was working on job applications and researching how to improve my chances.
Definitely need to fix that sleep schedule.
Morning
I went through my usual news and finance.
I didn't go for my morning run or do my workout today. I decided to treat today as a rest day for both.
But I did go swimming.
And...
NEW PR — 500m
My previous PR was 400m, so that's another 100m improvement.
Seeing these small improvements happening one after another is honestly motivating me more than I expected.
Studying
My studying was better today as well.
It's still nowhere near where I want it to be, but compared to where I started this challenge, I can clearly see a difference.
I'm slowly getting better at actually sitting down and doing the work.
Reading
I've been reading The 48 Laws of Power.
Until now, I usually read around 10 pages at a time.
Today I actually completed an entire chapter/law.
Again, it might sound like a very small thing, but for me it's another sign that my ability to sit with something is improving.
The biggest change isn't physical
This is probably the most interesting part of this whole challenge so far.
I've started noticing changes in the way I think.
I'm getting random ideas throughout the day.
I'm noticing things I didn't notice before.
My thoughts feel a little clearer.
I'm starting to understand certain things about myself and reality differently.
It's subtle.
I'm not suddenly some incredibly disciplined or enlightened person.
But I can feel something changing.
And what's even more interesting is that I'm starting to get ideas that I genuinely want to execute.
The problem?
Sometimes I'm still afraid.
Sometimes I'm lazy.
Sometimes I hesitate and go back to the comfortable option.
But there's now this tiny feeling inside me saying:
"Just do it."
And honestly, that feeling is new.
Before, I would get an idea and immediately find a reason not to do it.
Now there's at least a small part of me that wants to act on it.
I think that's progress.
Day 12 realization
Maybe self-improvement isn't always something dramatic that you can measure.
Sometimes it's just:
You notice more.
You think differently.
You want more.
You hesitate less.
You start believing that maybe you can actually change.
I'm proud of that.
I still have a lot to fix.
My sleep is still bad.
I'm still procrastinating.
I'm still afraid of taking action sometimes.
But something is definitely different compared to Day 0.
Day 12/90 complete.
I don't need to become a completely different person tomorrow.
I just need to give that tiny voice telling me "go do it" a little more control.
Let's see what happens.