When we first spoke it was on Twitter, where I first followed her because we shared the same taste in music. I was 20 and figuring life out and during our time apart we went through a lot of different struggled and phases. Because we were both young and broke it took us four years just to meet in person. We even split up for about a year because meeting felt impossible, and we were both battling our own demons behind the scenes.

Then in October 2024 we realized we couldn't deny our connection anymore and decided to put in the work. I focused on staying sober, put my head down and found a job to save up money.

I visited Spain in March 2025 and by January of this year I moved here for good.

We’ve seen each other through countless struggles and chapters, watching each other grow every step of the way. It takes real dedication to show up every day and fight through the distance until you're finally side by side. But if you really want it love can succeed.

little things like this make me so happy 🥹💞 problem solved, no more arguing lol

Hi guys. I’m the girl who posted yesterday about my long-distance boyfriend deactivating his account and leaving PhotoCircle.

After thinking about everything and looking back at the whole situation, I honestly feel more like a clown now. 😭 I can’t do this anymore. The confusion in my head is eating me alive, and I know I need to stop.

It’s sad because I always believed that I didn’t need to love someone less or act nonchalant just to receive more love from them. I spent days making something special for him, like a digital poster to wish him a happy birthday, even when I was working full-time from Monday to Sunday. I replied to his texts quickly, not because I expected him to do the same, but because that’s just how I loved.

This was my first relationship ever, and I wanted it to be perfect. I genuinely thought it would be my last relationship too. I naively thought I would end up with him.

Sometimes I ask myself, why was I being so stupid? It felt like I didn’t even have a choice, but somehow I still chose him. I chose him over and over again, only for it to turn out like this.

Whenever something happened, I tried to fix it. I kept trying to become the kind of person I thought he would want to be with. I made stupid jokes, spammed him with funny reels, and did all these little things just hoping I could make his day a little better.

And honestly, I still wonder how he can sleep at night knowing he left me this confused. Was I really that worthless in his heart?

I think I’m finally starting to accept the truth. It still hurts, but I’m trying. This relationship failed, and I don’t regret loving him. I don’t blame myself either, because God knows I already tried to fix everything with everything I had. 🥀🥀

My previous post:
Hi everyone. I joined this group because I wanted to ask you all something and hopefully hear from people who have experienced something similar.

He and I have known each other for almost 3 months now. He was actually the one who told me that he liked me first, and that's how things eventually developed between us. We have a very similar sense of humor and get along really well, which I really love because this is my first relationship ever.

We usually text whenever we're both free. I'm not a demanding girlfriend, and I always try to give him space and let him reply whenever he wants. I'm pretty open-minded and never wanted him to feel pressured.

But sometimes, he would leave my messages unanswered for 2–3 hours, and whenever something happened between us, I was usually the one trying to fix things and make the relationship work again.

We also have a PhotoCircle together where we share pictures and videos of ourselves because we live more than 9,000 miles apart. I often send him selfies and goodnight videos there, and he does the same sometimes, although not as much as I do. We had around 160 pictures and videos together, but about 100 of them were from me.

Yesterday, we were talking completely normally. Nothing happened between us, and everything seemed fine. But when I checked Instagram later, I realized that he had deactivated his account without saying anything to me. Even on PhotoCircle, all of his pictures and videos were gone.

He just disappeared without a word, and honestly, it hurts so much. 🥀

Has anyone here experienced something similar? Should I wait for him in case he comes back, or should I just move on?

I think what hurts the most is that I realized almost everything I knew about him came from me asking questions. He rarely told me things about himself on his own. And now I can't even find another way to contact him.

I'm not angry at him. I'm just confused and hurt. Especially because he was the one who said he liked me first, so I never expected him to suddenly disappear like this.

Maybe I was holding onto something that wasn't as mutual as I thought it was, and that's the part I'm struggling to understand.

🇺🇸—> 🇩🇪

Met on TikTok in December 2024 after she replied to one of my reposts about Final Fantasy 13. ;D Immediately found out we both played FFXIV and never stopped talking since that day. I will miss America but I will never have to miss her again. 💕

English is not my first language, sorry.

Let me start by saying my bf is a nice person and I believe in male female friendship. That being said, there's a bar/karaoke in my country and my bf mentioned wanting to go a couple of weeks ago because "they might close" I told him to just wait for me as we are meeting again in 7 months and that I'm sure it won't close soon, but that the idea of him going there, made me insecure and a bit angry.

You might ask yourself why I get angry at that? I haven't met these girls, he met them after I left the country, and once he went to a party once with one of them, went to a bar, drank alcohol and mysteriously disappeared for a while. He swears he did do anything with her and that he was just running out of battery, and I kind of believe that because when we were together he would forget to reply to his family and so on. But I still get angry and hurt about that experience.

I asked him that I didn't want to repeat it again, and to please avoid these types of scenarios. So that's why I asked him to please not go to a Halloween party that they want to go, and he got upset that I asked him that. But I got upset because he never wanted to go to parties like that with me.

Thing is, today he told me that the girls told him to go to the karaoke on Saturday, and he basically said that he really wanted to go even if it hurts my feelings, and we ended up fighting. I know I might be overreacting by asking him not to go out and that he is his own person with his own autonomy, I also know that if that were me I wouldn't do anything, I've hung out with male friends alone and everything has been okay. But I can't stop feeling bad about this.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you cope with it? I don't wanna break up, he is a great person but I told him he is ignoring my feelings, the thing is that I also understand I can't dictate his decisions. So, I don't know. I feel a bit frustrated by this.

My boyfriend (25m) and I (23f) live 4 hours of flight apart, meet up every couple of months. Every time we have to separate, I go insane from how anxious I get. I have a huge war in my head, tons of mental breakdowns, I feel like I am being tortured, that it's so unfair and that it will never end. I tried all kinds of mindsets, practices, dietary supplements and therapy to get rid of the unbearable anxiety, but nothing helped. I feel like I am living in a nightmare as the day approaches. Even when I know that we will meet in a couple of months again, the thought of being at the airport alone after saying goodbye gets me in tears every time. Our relationship is amazing, but we are unsure about careers and I don't know when we will move in together. So until then I will have to deal with these crazy scary thoughts and episodes of delusion. If anybody else has experienced something similar, I would love to hear your story🫶

SEVEN DAYS until I finally meet my love 🥹

We’ve had a long and difficult time waiting, but we are so so close. How was your first visit? What were some unexpected things that came up?? How was the change from video call to irl?? Tell me everything!!

Update on my previous posts
I’m 26M , in GULF and my girlfriend(F26 , in India) and I have been together for around 8+ years. We recently went through a very difficult period and almost broke up, but she has now told me that she loves me and wants to have a life with me. Obviously, hearing that made me really happy.

But things don't feel the same as before, especially when it comes to communication and effort.

A couple of days ago, she said she would call me, but she didn't. I called a few times and eventually she picked up. She was studying, and we talked for a while. We even played a game together, and later she asked me to stay with her while she slept. She fell asleep while I was there, and eventually I said goodnight and left.

The next morning, she actually called me herself while she was getting ready to go to the hospital. She showed me some of her dance steps and we talked for a little while. She has dance performances coming up on the 7th and 9th, so she's been practicing a lot.

During the day I sent her a couple of funny memes and we had a short conversation, but overall WhatsApp communication has become pretty dead from her side. I'd say I'm putting in maybe 90% of the texting effort and she's putting in around 10%. She also hasn't opened some Instagram reels I sent her for almost two days, which is unusual because she used to see them much quicker.

After work, around 7:30 PM, she messaged me saying she couldn't call because she was at dance practice. I was honestly really sad because I'd been hoping to talk to her after work. I called her a few times, and she told me she would be tired after practice and would probably just go straight to bed.

I said okay and went to the gym.

I came back around 9:30 PM, showered, ate, and around 10:20 PM UAE time (almost midnight in Kerala) I messaged her goodnight. I saw the message had been delivered, so I assumed she was online. I tried calling her on Botim, but it showed that she was busy.

That's when I started overthinking.

Her parents usually sleep early, so I started wondering who she could be talking to. I kept calling, probably around 10 times, and it kept showing busy. She didn't message me either.

Eventually she called me back and told me she had been on a call with a guy I'll call YC.

According to her, YC had called because she had left her hospital the previous week and he had a doubt/question related to that. During the conversation, he started talking about his struggles at his new hospital, and the conversation just continued from there.

They ended up talking from around 10:48 PM until almost midnight.

I know YC is younger than her, and I've also seen some messages from him on Instagram that I personally felt were a little flirty. I mentioned that to her, but she said he's younger and that there is nothing like that.

What hurt me most wasn't necessarily that she talked to another guy.

It was that I had been waiting all evening hoping she would call me, and she ended up spending almost two hours talking to someone else without even telling me she was on a call.

I told her that if she had just messaged me saying, "I'm talking to someone, I'll call you later," I wouldn't have kept calling.

She said that she would have told me eventually if I hadn't called, and admitted that the situation was her mistake.

But she also told me that I need to stop behaving like this. She said she likes talking to people around her and that it's becoming frustrating for her when talking to me because she feels like I'm constantly needing reassurance.

She also said something that really hurt me: that she can live without me.

At the same time, she kept saying, "I love you, I want to live with you. What more reassurance do you need?"

Eventually she said she needed to sleep and that she would call me the next morning.

The next morning, she messaged me about an hour before she normally called. I said good morning and waited.

After about half an hour I called her. She didn't pick up.

I called again 10 minutes later. Still nothing.

Then another 5 minutes later she picked up and said she was going to the hospital and would call me later. I asked why she hadn't called when she had told me she would. She said she had bathed, had early dance practice and had to leave early.

I got emotional and asked why she had become so rude and distant.

She told me that this whole situation was frustrating for her and that she had already asked me to give her some time. She said I don't seem to understand how she feels right now.

I asked, "But what about my feelings?"

And she basically said that right now she can't keep thinking about everyone else's feelings because she's already overwhelmed and frustrated herself.

I asked if the dance was causing most of this stress, and she said yes.

So I told her:

Fine. I won't disturb you or call you until your dance performances are finished. If you need anything, I'm here.

She replied, "I'm sorry!"

And that's where things are now.

I genuinely don't know how to interpret this.

Am I being toxic here?

Am I expecting too much reassurance and communication from her, and turning my anxiety into pressure on her? Or are my feelings reasonable given the change in her effort and the late-night call with YC?

I know repeatedly calling her while she was on another call wasn't healthy, and I don't want to become controlling or suffocating. I genuinely want an outside perspective on whether my behaviour is becoming toxic, or whether I'm just struggling with anxiety after everything we've been through.

Me and my partner live in different time zones so our sleep schedules are different, with me falling asleep and waking up around a couple hours before him. We normally sleep on call, and I’ve told him multiple times that he can wake me up whenever if he needs me and I’ll be ok with it, although normally it isn’t needed. He did need me last night though, but I didn’t wake up even though he was yelling and I still had my headphones on, so now I’m looking for a way for him to wake me up more easily. I was thinking some sort of app that lets him make an alarm go off on my phone, but I have an iphone and he has an android so that might be kinda difficult.

After 4 years of long distance friendship/courting and 2 years of dating, we got engaged this weekend in Cornwall!

I live in NYC and he lives in London. We met four years ago on hinge when I was studying abroad in college. After many flights, date nights consisting of stardew valley, and endless months of not knowing when we’d see each other again, we now have a soft plan to close the distance.

He’s my best friend and I couldn’t feel any luckier. :)

Any other US+ UK couples have any advice?! <3

My ex and I broke up about a year ago. I'm from Austria and she's from Scotland, so even if we got back together, we'd be long distance.
A couple of months ago we got back in contact and met up. We ended up kissing, having sex, cuddling, being really close, etc. She also messaged me while she was drunk saying she loved me and a bunch of other emotional stuff.
Now I'm in Scotland with her again, and this is where I'm completely confused.
She told me that she only wants me as a friend and that she doesn't see a relationship between us anymore.
The thing is, she knows I still love her. She knows I want to try again. I've never hidden that from her.
But then we're together and she acts incredibly comfortable and intimate with me. She sleeps next to me, has basically zero awkwardness around me, randomly walks into the bathroom while I'm in there, cuddles/gets close to me, etc. It's just weird to me because if you didn't know our situation, you'd probably think we were together.
She noticed that I'm really off and asked me what's wrong and said we should talk about it. We haven't properly had that conversation yet.
I'm honestly struggling really badly with this because I don't know whether I'm supposed to accept that she only wants friendship, or whether there's still something there that she's confused about.
I don't want to manipulate her or "convince" her to love me. I know that's impossible. But I also don't want to just give up when I genuinely believe we could work if we both wanted it.
Especially because the biggest practical problem would be the distance. I'm in Austria, she's in Scotland. But I'd genuinely be willing to make the effort and figure that out if she actually wanted to try.
So what do I even say when we have this conversation?
She already knows I love her and want her back, so telling her that isn't exactly new information.
Do I ask her what specifically makes her not want a relationship with me anymore?
And how much should I pay attention to her actions when they seem to contradict what she's saying?
I know the obvious answer is probably "listen to what she says, not what you hope her actions mean." And maybe that's exactly what I need to hear.
But has anyone actually been in a situation like this and successfully gotten back together with an ex?

Hello everyone!

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while, and we're finally going to meet in person soon! 🥹❤️ He’s traveling quite a long way to visit me, and we’ll have a weekend together.

I’m trying to come up with some fun and romantic things for us to do while he’s here. We can’t really spend the whole weekend at my place, so I’d love some ideas for activities, dates, or experiences we could do together.

We’re both in our 30s, and I’d love to hear from people who have been in long-distance relationships:

• What did you do when you finally met your partner for the first time?
• What was something you really enjoyed doing together?
• Is there anything you wish you had done?
• What would you recommend for a first weekend together?
• Any cute/romantic date ideas or fun activities?

I’m open to pretty much ANY suggestions because I haven’t planned much yet! 😭😂 I also don’t have a huge friend group to ask, so I figured Reddit might have some good ideas.

Thank you in advance! ❤️🥰

I(36m) will fly out to see my fiancée(31f) in just under two months. This will be our third meeting, but the first time I will be visiting her home country, (she is an OFW in Taiwan). I am looking forward to meet her family, and I am looking forward to hugging her again. I am blessed that I have the financial ability to do this once a year. We are in the process for our K1 visa, so this will likely be our last meeting until she comes here. I just wanted others to share in my excitement and show that if the work is put in, it can work 😁

(Pictures from our second visit where I proposed.)

My bf and I are closing the distance on our one year anniversary!! I'm curious for everyone out there who's done the same, what are some things you wish you remembered to buy/bring when moving out or casually forgot about till it was necessary? I feel like I have everything but at the same time I feel like I'm forgetting stuff! Also, advice for moving in would be greatly appreciated as I've never lived with anyone besides family. So excited to finally close the distance!!🥰🥰

​

She’s Indonesian [F23], and I’m Bangladeshi [M21]. We were together for 8 months. Full story here: https://www.reddit.com/r/LongDistance/s/PH7UkrqshN

When our relationship started, I asked her so many times what she really wanted from this relationship. She told me she loved the way I treated her and that she was happy with me.

I tried my best to save this relationship. I’m just a university student, but I saved money because I genuinely wanted to meet her and build a future together.

I tried so many things to make her happy and always did my best to make her feel loved. I genuinely loved her and saw her as my future wife.

But eventually, things fell apart. For her, money became a big part of love, and she didn’t see my efforts the same way.

I still love her, but I know I can’t force someone to stay.

How do I heal from this? I feel completely lost right now. 🫠

(F18) Hii, so it's my first time using reddit lol.

I recently came back with my ex boyfriend (M18), which I know since we were children.

We'd always been forced to be at "long distance", not because he lives really far away, but because I don't have permission to be in a relationship :(, so it's secret.

We broke up last year precisely because the distance was driving me insane and I felt frustrated that I wasn't able to see him in person, or just being able to text him without having to be in alert of someone seeing me texting him. And at the time I was TERREFIED of my tutors finding out and absolutely denying me to ever see or talk to him again, and I was super stressed for other things, so in the middle of that chaos I broke up with him because I was neglecting the relationship to much.

We spoke things recently and decided to try again, but like I said earlier, I was frustrated for not being able to see him in person with freedom, and I can only make phonecalls or video calls with him when I'm home alone, which is not as often as I wish it was.

So I know it's kinda complicated, but if you have any advice, second opinions or anything that you think may be useful please tell, because I really need some advice!

Me (21f) and my boyfriend (22m) have been doing international long distance on and off for 2 years now from Aus to the Uk. Last year he lived in Aus with me and we got to experience being a normal couple. When his visa ended in March of this year, we went back to international long distance. Luckily enough i had travel plans booked in June/July and saw him for a 4 week period over this time. When we are in person, everything is amazing.

However since coming back at the beginning of August, we’ve felt rocky. The next time I’ll see him will be January where I am set to do a 4 month exchange in the Netherlands.

I feel like when we call, I have nothing really to say apart from the usual catchup of how our days been. It feels really surface level and not what we have experienced in the past. Strangely enough I feel like I’m the one being quite dry, but I’m not sure why this is.

I don’t know if I’m feeling disillusioned with the distance especially because there’s no end date. I really miss him and want to be physically with him again but the distance feels so big it’s sometimes hard to think whether this is worth it.

I could really do with some advice;
is it normal to go through periods of silence/ dead chat?
What are ways we can fix this or is this a sign of something bigger like the end of the relationship?
Any tips for ldr with no end date.

I love him a lot and love how we are in person I just struggle when I feel like I don’t chat as well on the phone/ FaceTime

ある通話のとき、私の母がカメラに映って彼に「こんにちは」って言ってくれたし、たまに彼の家族もカメラに映って、私に手を振ってくれることもあるよ
英語は得意じゃないのに、それでも彼と話すのがほんとに楽しい。気まずくならないから、二人で黙ってても全然平気

今日は通話を終えるときに、「イースター島に行くためにお互い貯金しよう」って言って締めたの。いつか二人でそこに行きたいんだよね
チリと日本ってめっちゃ距離あるから、たまにそれが悲しくなる。でもそれでも、私たち二人ともいつか会いたいって本気で思ってる。

I really love this guy, like I want to marry him. I was sure he felt the same way. Really felt very serious and real. We get a lot of physical space from eachother because we live 2.5 hrs apart, but we talk almost every day. He is very stressed about his job and wants to change careers but is unsure about how to make it happen, the pressure he is under is high and he is depressed. I am very able to understand that and give him the air he needs to focus. But this time he said "A Few Weeks"...
and idk wtf that means.

He says this isn't the precursor to a break up, but that he needs to get back to himself in order to be able to do this. I am confused and conflicted.

I go back and forth : should i just adhere to this implied no-contact “for a few weeks” and give him no notice that i need ANSWERS sooner than later.... shouldering the uncertainly and just grinning and bearing the vagueness and fear? or is that not fair to me and I should reach out at some point (like 1 or 2 weeks?) and say something ?

I know that 95% of the time, the break is the signal of the pending break up. I am kind of physically ill from being on this standby with a looming end OR maybe looming resolution and better days ahead. The uncertainty is causing me a lot of unease. I am not avoidant, and I am starting to research more what Avoidant partners are like, and I fear that this is bad and to lose this relationship that i was so sure of is going to Fuck My Shit Up.

I’m worried that to approach him at all is to make everything worse and i feel like. this pressure / feeling that i need to just fully leave him alone till he surfaces. But when he surfaces...?? dude my feelings are hurt... like there is no way for me to know if the space is really about him needing to figure out whether he wants to do this or not. If a man thats supposed to be my partner needs to go days and WEEKS without talking to me, then that pretty much screams that there is not SPACE for me in his life ??

I read this https://www.freetoattach.com/breakups and it deepened the pit in my stomach. I reallyy want this to be okay and to be with him but I am shaken, I know how i want to be treated and what I will and will not tolerate, and if this is an emerging pattern or if he lacks the certainty of character and conviction to be there then I have to walk. I need help coping in the interim... and need feedback about what I should do. My friends are all kind of stumped.

I think we have different attachment styles. He’s more anxious and I’m avoidant. He wants to constantly text throughout the day, talk for 3+ hrs on video every night and wants constant reassurance that I like him and want to be with him.

I like him very much but this much effort is killing me. I can’t sustain it. I have a demanding job that requires long hours, health issues and other responsibilities that require my time. Also, before him, I’d been alone for so long that this much communication with anyone feels quite invasive to me. My ideal situation would be to text every other day and maybe a shorter video call once a week. To me, we are both adults with other things going on in our lives. This kind of expectation is not realistic.

I’ve tried to communicate this but he doesn’t take it well. He believes this indicates I do not like him and also believes that if I truly did like him, that level of communication would come naturally and would not feel like putting in effort. He freaks out if I try to suggest we reduce it. He also gets angry if I request to end calls without valid reasons.

What do I do here? I genuinely do like him and want to make this work but I simply don’t have the capacity to maintain that much communication.