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I don’t know how to explain this without sounding bitter or pathetic, but seeing couples—especially when I see a girl being affectionate, loving, or genuinely passionate about her boyfriend—sometimes triggers this really intense feeling inside me.

It’s almost like a hollow ache in my chest.

And sometimes it turns into anger or even hatred. Not necessarily hatred toward those people personally. More like hatred toward the situation, toward myself, and toward the fact that they have something I desperately want but don’t have.

I crave intimacy so badly. I want to know what it feels like to have someone genuinely want me, choose me, be excited to see me, touch me, hold me, kiss me, care about me, and look at me with that kind of affection.

And when I see girls doing those things with their boyfriends, a part of me thinks:

“Why don't I have that?”

Then another thought immediately follows:

“What is wrong with me that nobody wants that with me?”

I've had very little romantic experience, and I think the lack of intimacy has started becoming something much bigger in my head than simply being single. It feels like evidence that I'm undesirable or somehow fundamentally lacking.

I hate that I react this way because those couples haven't done anything wrong. They are just enjoying something I wish I could experience.

Sometimes I even avoid certain places, movies, social media posts, or situations because I know they'll trigger that feeling.

I don't want to become resentful of people who are happy. I don't want someone else's relationship to feel like an attack on my self-worth.

I just want to understand why this hurts so much.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of intense jealousy, emptiness, or anger when seeing couples—not because you don't want them to be happy, but because their intimacy reminds you of something you desperately crave and feel you've been missing?

I have done so much for this "family" and it's never enough. They would rather remember that one negative thing you done ages ago than all the good things you do every fucking day.

I do their hard fucking labor. My muscles sore throughout the week from nonstop work. I come to work exhausted mentally and physically from my shitty fast food job. I pay my rent and I pay for food and I do my responsibilities. Not a single "thank you" or a "How are you?" Arguments? Reprimands? Scoldings? Threats? They got tons.

I'm more like a prisoner and my "parents" are my wardens. I used to get abused physically as a kid too.

I have wanted to move out for so long but rent and food is so sky high while our low wages are still the fucking same. This would have been easier if I had a partner to share a life with. I'm so fucking broke too that I can't even put myself out there and meet girls like I used to. I also graduated uni recently so I can no longer meet girls easily... and I still can't get a full time job ffs.

I want love, familial and romantic, as well as stability. I wan't a life. But if I can't have this bare minimum, then why can't this "life" just give me some fucking peace and quiet? FUCK.

As someone who had a really difficult time trying to date, I genuinely want to hear other people’s experiences. What made being alone so scary, depressing, daunting, or heartbreaking for you? What would you say was the worst part of it?

You can skip the rest if you don’t want to read my own experience. I mainly want to hear yours.

For me, I think a huge part of it was the constant feeling that I wasn’t good enough to be accepted or wanted. I think that became part of my envy and jealousy too. There was always this part of me judging myself and wondering if things would be different if I were someone else. Maybe if I looked different, acted differently, or was just better somehow, I wouldn’t have to feel these emotions. I spent a long time feeling like I was never good enough.
I went through around six years of struggling to date throughout high school and college. I tried reading dating advice, working out, dating apps, asking for advice on Reddit, and trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. More than anything, I wanted the feeling to stop. I wanted to feel normal so I wouldn’t have to carry around this shame, and so I could experience the things everyone else seemed to be talking about: casual hookups, dating, relationships, affection, all of it. It felt like this entire part of human life was somehow inaccessible to me.
Of course, part of it hurt my pride, especially as a man, because there is so much cultural pressure around dating and sex. There is this idea that you’re supposed to be able to date, have sex, and gain those experiences. But honestly, it went much deeper than that for me. I wanted warmth. I wanted coziness. I wanted affection. I wanted memories and experiences with another person. I even wanted to experience things like heartbreak, because at least then I would have been able to participate in those conversations and say, “Yeah, I’ve been through that too.”
Instead, when friends talked about their hookups or relationships, I would get this feeling in the pit of my stomach that basically said: You weren’t good enough. That’s why you don’t have those experiences.
I think one of the hardest parts was feeling like nobody could actually understand what this was like. A lot of the advice I received came from people who had relationships, had dated, had sex, or had those experiences without spending years desperately trying to figure out why they couldn’t. Sometimes it felt like they were trying to help, but they couldn’t really understand what it does to your mind when you spend years wanting something as basic as human affection and repeatedly feeling like you are incapable of having it.
And eventually, after so many years, I don’t think I even cared about the original goal in the same way anymore. All I could think was, I just want this pain to go away. I don’t want to care anymore. I just want to live my life without this constantly consuming me.
But the more I obsessed over it, the worse it became. My desire for connection turned into a kind of living hell inside my own head. After living for so long without being able to experience that kind of intimacy, it became humiliating and depressing, but more than that, it genuinely scared me.
I was scared that the person I am, in this body and with this mind, would never be someone another person wanted to hug, kiss, or love. That maybe I would spend my entire life unable to experience something that seemed so natural and accessible to everyone else.
And I think that’s what eventually turned it into an obsession.

[TL:DR]
So that’s my experience, but I’m much more interested in hearing yours. What exactly is—or was—the hardest part for you? Is it the loneliness itself? Feeling undesirable? Missing experiences that everyone else seems to have? Fear that it will never change? Shame? Something else entirely? What makes being forever alone scary, heartbreaking, or difficult from your perspective?

I am physically disabled. I have a bum right leg which means I need a cane and a foot brace to help me walk. I started college a month ago and I’m still having trouble making friends and even talking to people sometimes. It’s not like I don’t try. I try looking friendly and I try talking to people but it feels like I’m not getting through to anyone.

Most of the time, people give either me this strange half smile out of awkwardness with a hint of pity, they stare me and look me up and down like they haven’t seen a dude with a disability before, or they straight up ignore me when I acknowledge them (this hurts the most).

I want to say to myself that it’s only been a month and that I’m getting in my own head, but it feels like I’m just making an ass out of myself for even trying to talk to people when it seems like every other freshman is making friends just fine.

For example, I’m in the band and because of my disability I can’t march and I just play in the stands. Maybe it’s just me being insecure, but it feels like my section gets along just fine without me and I feel left out often.

I eat lunch alone constantly, surrounded by happy friend groups who’re having a better time than I am.

The only time people really talk to me is when it looks like I need help and they try to help me with things (which is always nice) but sometimes they do it insincerely.

There was this one night where I had a package in my hand that was struggling with. These three loud girls (that were reeking of weed) come up to me giggling and they ask me if I needed help carrying my package. Of course, I said yes. One of the girls grabbed my box and we went to my dorm. The girls started asking me weird questions that got ruder the more they asked.

“Aren’t you tired of walking around with that thing all day?”
“How old are you?? (I answer) OMG you’re 18!! You’re too young to have a cane!!” No kidding. “You’re soooo brave!! I could never do that!!!”
Finally the thing that really irritated me was when we finally got to my res.hall and they gave me my package.
I thought they’d finally leave but one of the girls asks me for my phone number so that she can give it the girls next to her just in case they “wanted a boyfriend”. The other two girls start laughing and giggling some more and they hid their faces like I couldn’t see them snickering. I said no and they walked away giggling some more.

I felt really dumb that day. They made a joke outta me. Some days I feel so isolated, it’s not even funny. I just want advice on how to get over this feeling and I just wish someone knew what it’s like in my shoes (and foot brace).

people talk about it, but they usually have a LOT of connections so its easy for keep it as any other daily interaction.

i don't know how to describe it but i can literally get lost in my mind daydreaming about being friends with people or dating someone.

not too long ago, i signed up for a checking account because i turned 18 and theres this employee and i already felt butterflies in my chest around him from the 2 times we've met.

i feel like a child because i don't interact with men at all so i'm stuck with this strange distance?

i don't bother talking to anyone. i don't even thinking about approaching people because i know my place as an unfortunate looking person and its so depressing.

i used to feel hope and desperation, but now i feel melancholic? its strange.

I've never had a girlfriend. I was sexually abused by a girl 3 years older than me when I was 13, but I wouldn't really call it a "relationship". Since then I've spent every waking moment doing everything I can to find love.

I'm not even going to bother listing all the things I've tried, because I've genuinely tried it all. Every dating app that's not a scam, dating coaches, singles events, approaching girls in public, asking out friends, you name it. *I've quite literally tried everything there is to try to my knowledge.* The only thing I haven't tried yet is r/foreveralonedating, and the only reason I'm even on Reddit right now is to get enough Karma to be able to post there. If I don't get anything from posting there, I'm screwed.

I'm not good looking, in fact I personally think I'm pretty ugly, but I'll refrain from self-hatred for now. I'm overweight, but I have severe asthma so I can't work out. At least, not in any way that would actually make me lose weight.

I've tried all sorts of shit for my depression, too, but none of it worked, because the problem I have lies in my hopeless romanticism and perceived inability to be loved by anyone, not in some chemical imbalance.

Until one day last week I liked this girl on Hinge and she matched me back. For the first time in over 2 years of dating apps, *I got a match that actually wanted to talk to me!*

She was so great. Funny, sweet, and kind. Just hearing my phone buzz could shift my night to day in an instant. For a few days, I was happy again for the first time in years. Then, yesterday came. She said she didn't want to meet up anymore. She said it wasn't my fault and that I deserved better than someone like her. After all these years, someone finally gives me a chance, and *she's* the one who thinks she's not good enough for *me!*

Obviously I tried to convince her that she was wrong, that I was the one who wasn't good enough for her, and begged her to give me another chance. So she agreed to keep talking, "with no expectations". But then today we were talking about what we wanted in a relationship, and I mentioned how I really just wanted to be cared for and loved by someone, which doesn't seem too hard of an ask, right?

But no, apparently it was, because she started going off about how she couldn't be that person for me, but that someone else would be the caring and nurturing lover that I need.

I'm just absolutely heartbroken over the whole thing. I'm still not good enough for anyone, and I just wasted a week of my life talking to someone who seems to despise me now simply because of the way I perceive love? I can't help wanting what I want, can I? I don't even care anymore, I just want love, *period.* I don't care whether it's the kind I need or completely fake, I just want to feel like I'm worth something to someone.

Is she right? There couldn't possibly be women like that, who are actually caring and nurturing partners, right? It's rare enough to find *anyone* let alone a *dominant* woman, let alone this specific type! I guess it's just my mommy issues acting up. I just want to feel cared for I guess. Like my life is worth something. It's so hard being a submissive guy in general, but I'm also ugly, and I'm tall and broad-shouldered. I wish I was smaller. Maybe then I could at least be a femboy or something. I wouldn't love what I would find but at least it would be something, whereas now I have nothing.

I'm just so tired of all of this. I don't have much longer left before I simply go insane. Forever Alone Dating is the only option I haven't tried, and I have a feeling that's not going to be of any use either. I just wanted to feel like I was worthy of being loved by someone. Why doesn't anyone want to love me?

Hey, I don’t even know where to start. I’m 23 and I just want to be loved.

The last couple of years have been a complete collapse for me. I went through severe depression (diagnosed by a doctor), lost several people close to me, and got kicked out of university. I felt absolutely terrible. I stopped making music, I couldn’t even play my favorite games because every failure hit me so hard that I’d start hating myself and thinking I was a loser. I still feel that way sometimes.

I’m broke, short, not athletic, and not particularly attractive. I’ve never had a normal relationship with a woman, and for some reason women just don’t seem interested in me. The only times women have actually shown initiative toward me, they ended up using me, and they used me really badly. I don’t understand why. I try not to hurt anyone, so I don’t understand why people treat me like that.

I’ve never chased women like crazy. I’ve tried to become a better person and work on myself, like everyone keeps telling me to, but it just doesn’t work...

My last attempt at a relationship was three years ago. I tried really hard to stay in touch with her and keep the conversation going, but when I started doing really badly and stopped initiating, she never messaged me even once.

A lot of people say that you need to get your life together first, become healthy and strong, and only then look for a relationship. But I’ve seen people with problems similar to mine, or even worse, find a partner while they were still struggling and then get through it together much more easily. So why do I have to carry everything on my shoulders alone?

And honestly, I did go to a doctor. I really tried, and I’ve gotten better. This year I went back to university and graduated. I’ve lost weight, I’m trying to get rid of my acne, and I’m forced to look for a job (otherwise my family will literally starve lol).

I used to have so many hobbies, but for the last three years I basically did nothing. I didn’t have the energy or motivation for anything. Now I’m slowly trying to get back into life, doing what I can, and… I’m still nobody’s choice.

I don’t drink at all, I don’t smoke, and I’ve never done drugs. My friends say I’m funny, kind, and caring, and I believe them because they’re really good people themselves, and the fact that they’re still friends with me means I can’t be that bad. But inside, it feels completely different.

I try to tell myself that sooner or later things will get better, but more and more often I feel like I’m just a loser who’s destined to be alone and that things are only going to get worse.

hello everyone i know this is a lot but please i just need someone to talk to it’s been eating at me for the past 6 years i am 23 i haven’t had any romantic experiences no first kiss haven’t lost my virginity haven’t even had my hand held maybe it is because im gay and feminine maybe its me being autistic i dont know but im so embarrassed by it i wish i could have normal experience like all my peers. i have tried i have really tried every attempt of trying to find someone has failed. i have tried every dating app i have tried in person i have tried long distance i have tried asking friends out i have tried going to gay bars and clubs i have tried everything. its not like i haven’t put myself out there i have for about 6 years now been actively looking for someone. this is so isolating i try my best not to let it affect me but it does seeing all my friends get married,have kids, have warm loving relationships it makes me sad because i only have wanted an ounce of that. my standards aren’t high im not rude or anything maybe it’s my looks i don’t know but maybe my partner/soulmate doesnt exist and i just need to accept that instead of getting my heart broke time and time again. thank you for reading :))

i dont have much of a routine. wake up, work, sleep. repeat. nothing special.

bought a bracelet

now i put it on every morning. take it off every night. it's a small thing but it's something.

sounds stupid but it makes me feel like i have at least one consistent thing in my day.

anyone else have small rituals like this?

I want to be loved but at the same time I can’t even picture it. Even my imagination won’t let me be in a relationship. Lmao.

It sucks because literally all, and I mean all, of my friends are married or about to be married. And I’m the perpetually single friend. I don’t even want to hang with my friends anymore because I know they’re gonna ask for updates on my love life and I never have any.

Can anyone who was like this and fixed it give tips?

I’m 29 and know it’s POSSIBLE for me to find a boyfriend or husband as people have found me attractive(I’m not the best looking person ever, but the point is that it isn’t the issue rn) and liked me as a person, but I don’t understand how to talk to people. Especially when it’s someone I don’t see physically everyday. I’ve only had one irl boyfriend in my entire life and that only lasted three months. I try not to blame everything on autism, but I wonder if that is the cause?

I struggle with taking to people romantically because I don’t know what to say or do. Because I’m confused and ashamed, I avoid trying. I always thought it’d work itself out, but now I’m old and still like this. Are there any courses I can take to know what to say to people? I guess the main issue is I get physically tired and scared when trying, so I never get past a few conversations.

In fact, I felt disgusting sticking my mouth and tongue to his.

I’m 25 years old and I really am at one of the lowest points I’ve ever been in my life. I’ll be turning 26 next month and all I feel is dread. I have no job, no friends and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve been trying to change things as best as I can, but things seem to be getting progressively worse. I understand that no one is coming to save me and I have to dig myself out of this hole, but I just wish I had someone to help make my days a little brighter.

My problem is, I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere. I never have done and as I get older, I only feel more out of place. There’s so many things that make me different from the majority of the population and when they’re combined together, they just make me feel like an alien.

I’m a trans guy, so lots of people don’t like me before I’ve even introduced myself. I’m also asexual which massively narrows down potential connections in terms of dating. I’ve suspected for quite a few years now that I’m autistic and socialising has always been struggle for me. I do have quite of few of what people would consider ‘childlike’ interests so I often don’t have common ground with others in terms of hobbies. These things massively affect the way I live my life and they make me feel like I would be a massive burden on someone, even though they’re fundamental parts of me I can’t do anything about.

The other big thing that sets me apart from others is that I lost the family member I was closest to nearly two years ago now and it’s changed my life. Going through grief has been the loneliest of experiences. It’s changed my whole perspective on life and changed me as I person and I find I now have completely different priorities to others my age. They all seem to be content and have things to look forward to, but after seeing how quickly things can fall apart, I’m honestly just trying to keep my head above water until I can find my spark again.

I don’t have a good relationship with the family I have left and I can’t wait to get out of this household. Most people seem to have good relationships with their family or at least have someone to rely on, while I feel truly alone in this world. Unless you’ve ever been in my position, I don’t think you can truly comprehend it.

I’m not expecting someone to have gone through or be struggling with all the same issues as me as I know it’s extremely unlikely someone else has this same combination of circumstances. I just wish that I had someone who was like me in some way and would at least try to understand the elements of my life that they haven’t experienced themselves.

I’m becoming more and more isolated as each day passes. I live in a place where there’s nothing going on and there’s nowhere to meet people aside from bars and clubs, which are certainly not my scene. Even online, I’m struggling to find people I can relate to. I like my alone time, but realising I have no one at all who wants to be around me really is a depressing reality. Instead of feeling like I’m alone to recharge, it’s starting to feel like it’s because it’s my only option. I’m starting to think that I truly am destined to be on my own, and this idea in my head that there may be someone out there who I could connect with is beginning to seem like a delusional fantasy.

What I want more than anything is someone who gets me. Someone who actually likes me when I’m being myself, someone to do things with (even if it’s simply watching a film) someone who wants to be in my company. The last time I had a proper meaningful conversation with someone was with my family member who died, so it’s been awhile. I’d love to have someone I could talk to about anything and everything, not just the surface level conversations I feel like I’m having to drag myself through on a daily basis. All these experiences seem to come so naturally to everyone else, but I really don’t know whether it’s just not meant for me at this point.

I’m just lost with what to do. People always say to meet others and put yourself out there, but no matter what I do, nothing works out. I’m running out of options. Some people go through life being perfectly content on their own but I’m not one of those people. I’m trying to improve other aspects of my life that require me to work things out alone, but I can’t help but feel there is a huge part of me that is unfulfilled. I’m unhappy but I’m trying to find a reason to get up each morning. I always try to be kind and I know I have so much love to give, but I’ve just never got the chance. Every night I go to bed praying that one day this person will magically come into my life to help heal this crippling loneliness. I’m still waiting though and tonight will be another night where I say that prayer again.

I remember as a teenager I hated school. It’s not the ton of homework nor was it the tests. Although that sucks too but it doesn’t compare to the fact I saw everyone else having a good time with their friends, some of them having girlfriends. Planning parties or places they will go for the weekend. While I was stuck at home with my parents every single weekend.

If that wasn’t bad enough. Other students always felt the need to point it out behind my back. “Oh yeah that’s the loser with no friends”. I remember telling my parents I wanted to be homeschooled. They said no because if I was homeschooled how was I supposed to learn how to make friends? They say that as if I was able to make a single friend in 9 years I already had being in school.

If that wasn’t bad enough I remember two new kids came to school in 10th grade. They both were able to make a group of friends the following week. When I saw that I thought: What is it about me that no one wants to be my friend? What did I do to deserve this miserable existence? How do people even make friends? What do they say?

To make it even worse was whenever the teacher said we can choose our partners. I remember I always needed the teacher to find me a partner and can see the disappointment on their faces when they realized. For some reason my parents still wondered why I never wanted to go to prom, homecoming or any of the social school activities.

After high school I went to college because I was forced to by my family and HS counselor. I was forced some reason still naive enough to believe my social life will improve in college. That was a complete lie. College life was super depressing the same reason why high school was depressing. I decided to drop out after the first year. I was not doing well in school and I was super depressed in not having any friends. I’m so glad I didn’t decide to take a loan and simply go to community college. I could only imagine the loneliness I’d feel if I was dumb enough to go study in another state. Having to go to my dorm room every night. Staying there simply doing my homework and going to bed while everyone else is having the time of their lives.

I’m 28M and never had a girlfriend or had sex. I’m average height, average weight, but have a (please, please, please bear with me) very handsome face. Part of me wishes I were unattractive so I could at least have an explanation to my dad. I literally stopped speaking to him because of how embarrassing it is that I’m “wasting his face” and the fact that he looooveeeeessss the “girlfriend?” question.

What I need advice on is how do I overcome this fear of speaking to women irl? I get the signals all the time that they’d like me to come over and talk to them, but I chicken out like a bitch. Every. Single. Time.

I’m much bolder online, but the gag? I’m one of those unfortunate cases of good looking irl, hideous in pics. The online dating has been filled with so much rejection, that it’s affected my real life self esteem, which of course makes it even more difficult to approach women.

Any advice you guys could offer would be appreciated. I made a post earlier, but my language might not have been conducive to my goals with posting, so I cleaned it up a bit.

**edit: do we have any ladies that can chime in and perhaps lend credence to the validity of my claim that you can look good irl, and hideous in pics? Preferably those whom have met men online who they considered ugly, then met them irl and your jaw dropped?

Hiiii I am a 19M and I’m considered below average. Had dates and a few relationships but I am giving up in dating. I have goals and things I’m working towards and plenty of hobbies and few friends but I’m taking a step away from trying to find a relationship. Been looking for a while but dating has been humiliation ritual to the next because of the strict standards and gender roles thar I don’t agree with. The people I have talked to when it comes to dating all simply want a traditional relationship with it being very transitional and I just don’t want that dynamic. Most of my experiences have been negative. I’ve had people try to change then get angry full knowing the person I am.

I’m enjoying doing me and although I did wish i would have someone to love the times currently are not meant for love because of resentment and expeditions. I’ve been faced with a lot of sexism and shame about being a man and I don’t want a persom to love that hates me for how a women wouldn’t want a man to hate her because she is a women.

I don’t see myself in a relationship and that is okay!

Me and two of my friends were having a conversation. Relationships popped up mid convo so i brought up how I've never been in a relationship, dated, kissed, or held hands with the opposite gender and they told me it was probably because im "Creepy like a ghost" and they laughed about it. I found this extremely concerning so I asked them to elaborate they said that im very pale, have very wide eyes, im extremely quiet, and fidgety. one of them said "like the grudge(the movie monster) but blonde" because im so off-putting. They them told me that watching me have a conversation with someone especially men is like watching an alien trying to pretend to be a person. I just feel embarrassed and utterly humilated. I knew i was socially awkward but I didnt know it was THAT bad... how do i fix this? I cant believe im so creepy

I really don't like cheaters.

It started with my own father who cheated on my mother multiple times with several women and even got two of them pregnant while my mom was pregnant with my second brother. Leading to a messy divorce my views on relationships was affected.

Another instance is where I currently work, several of my coworkers have cheated on their husband's/wives.

1.one man i worked with cheated on his wife with a woman at our place of work.

2.a woman i work with cheated on her husband even though they have a child together and after their divorce she got pregnant with the guy she cheated on her husband with.

3.another man that i work with admitted to me that he used to go to a club and hooked with random women and some of those women were married and had no problem cheating on their husband's, and to make it worse he is married now and has a child and he has bragged about already cheating on his own wife (yes, he openly bragged about it).

And the most recent instance is a close friend of my mother who recently found out her husband was trying to have a child with another woman who knew he was married.

All of this has negatively affected how i view relationships and I now feel like trust is dead.

Because you can trust somebody but they need to show they are trustworthy and cheating is not a good way to that.

I am honestly scared to try dating because I have a fear of being cheated on.

I am bisexual, and I think I've been like this for a long time. I've always struggled with keeping even the most basic relationships. I always feel left out. Therefore, there's no way in hell I'm getting intimate with anyone. I'm very isolated and I have zero friends. Also, hookups don't interest me.

Meanwhile, I'm attracted to both men and women. It's a double edged sword, since being attracted to both should give me more opportunities in theory, but now, when I see both men and women, I'm reminded of what I can't get.

I think gay/bisexual people can be forever alone.

I went on a date with a girl on Sunday and since I don't have any experience with women, I acted and talked like as I was hanging out with guys.

It's quite easy for me to get along with guys, but I guess it's not the same way talking to women cause she told me that she thought I was rude.

Apparently I don't know how to talk to women cause I never interacted with them after elementary school since there weren't any. I was just being me.

We humans are wired for love, the dedicated one-one kind; could be romantic, platonic, physical or whatever. Some people are into poly-relationships but that's not the norm. So gooning exclusively to your crush leads to more fulfillment than gooning randomly.

When a guy wired for an one-one love relationship scrolls at a bunch of women in social media and goons to them, he's going to be exhausted because that's not his true preference.

So instead goon to your crush alone; could also be fictional.