r/AskReddit 12h ago

What's the sickest you've ever been in your life?

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637

u/Dunno_If_I_Won 11h ago edited 10h ago

I once had constipation and diarrhea. AT. THE. SAME. TIME.

I had a turd that wouldn't get out, and the diarrhea juice just went around it and squirted outta my ass.

309

u/enjoycwars 7h ago

Fuck. Im sorry man but I wish I could have stopped learning English 24 years ago because wtf did I just read.

13

u/Thr0waw4y_14 5h ago

It's my fault for having eyes

6

u/Free_Byrd6969 4h ago

This is a side effect of chronic constipation. It will eventually come out, not before straining on the toilet no less than one hour minimum. Just work a millimeter out at a time. I'm like who the fuck else has turds with arms, legs and a head? Those are better than the perfectly round softball sized ones tho. You feel totally relieved and violated for hours after.

67

u/Anton-LaVey 6h ago

Like a fat guy stuck in a water slide

4

u/Repulsive-Rhubarb609 6h ago

don’t 😭😭😭

4

u/Full_Race4032 5h ago

You...Forget about me.

4

u/trickyfelix 6h ago

lmao what

u/Soft-Temporary-7932 39m ago

This sounds like a comment Larry David would have made lol

18

u/Bay1Bri 6h ago

"the poo that took a pee"

27

u/TechnicianGrand6611 8h ago

Funny but that would legit be hell. I was once constipated for 9 days and it got terrifying at the end.

10

u/xadamxful 5h ago

You just had to call it juice huh?

8

u/Dunno_If_I_Won 5h ago

Gravy was a close second.

7

u/Purple_Inevitable967 6h ago

Dude, my wife had the same thing happen. Blessings on your butt hole.

7

u/Saphiredragoness 5h ago

I have IBS and had that happen last month. She has IBS as well and agreed that it must have been a weird sensation and went on with our days. The strange things IBS makes you tolerant too.

13

u/TizMahBiz 8h ago

One of my kids has this happen at least twice a year for various reasons. It is HORRIBLE for them and everyone else because the liquid will literally leak out without any notice and will get everywhere. Don’t even get me started on the smell from it.

3

u/BlackMagicWorman 7h ago

I’m on medication for this. It’s my daily struggle.

3

u/WinterStrawberries6 5h ago

Never happened where the diarrhea went around it, but I've had so many plug shits before, it's fucking crazy.

2

u/NimbleHamburger 4h ago

Had it happen once, no diarrhea going around it but wish it had, might have given some relief. The cramping was absolute agony, doubled over on the floor between trying to shit was not a good time

2

u/WinterStrawberries6 3h ago

Happened to me literally yesterday. I was having cold shivers, holding the walls, and trying to shit.
It was burning so much I was wondering if it was even worth it to be alive/s

3

u/Czarcasm3 4h ago

This is called paradoxical diarrhea btw

2

u/7CuriousCats 5h ago

I had that while dealing with a kidney stone, thought it was appendicitis. Turns out my pee got stuck behind the stone and made the pipe swell up. Every time I shat it was the most agonising experience: pee-tube cramp, constipation, and diarrhoea cramps.

2

u/2HeckinLlamas 4h ago

You definitely won something in this thread. Idk if it’s anything good though

2

u/Cakeday_at_Christmas 1h ago

I once had constipation and diarrhea. AT. THE. SAME. TIME.

Ah, overflow diarrhea.

1

u/Gaybugsbunnymemes 6h ago

They said it couldn’t be done!

1

u/gutpirate 4h ago

shit bro...

1

u/Junior_Accident6730 4h ago

Hey me too! I had 5 (FIVE!!!) baseball sized pooplumps stuck in my colon after general anesthesia and when I took laxatives it just started leaking out around the pooplumps cuz my spincter couldn't close properly I reckon.

1

u/Novel-Raise-2441 4h ago

People in opioid withdrawal go through this. Not saying that was you lol

1

u/KmiVC 4h ago

this made me bust a laugh. thank you, stranger (and sorry for your misfortune)

1

u/Excellent_Contract59 3h ago

I have really bad constipation where I don't poop for weeks to even a month.

1

u/tiemeupinribbons 2h ago

If this happens again, go to the drs!! It’s called overflow diarrhoea and can indicate faecal impacting! NHS link

u/Trifficulty 18m ago

It's called overflow diarrhea!