If you feel anxious about going somewhere, meeting someone new, or attending a job interview, try this exercise.
First, list 10 things about yourself that you feel insecure about or that you are afraid other people might notice or judge. Also include the things that make you uncomfortable about going to certain places or meeting new people.
They could be things like having an ugly nose, being bald, being overweight, being unable to talk confidently, being unemployed, etc.
Many of you may find that you can't even name 10 things you dislike about yourself.
Once you're done, count each of those things in cents—or in the smallest unit of currency used in your country. Now think about it: even 10 or 20 cents aren't worth that much in today's inflated economy. They do carry some value, but not very much.
Now count your good qualities.
If you can't think of any, don't worry. Instead, count every good deed you have ever done. Maybe you were kind to an animal or another human being. Maybe you were the person who told the truth when it was difficult. Maybe you helped someone when they needed it.
And even if you feel that you have never done any of these things, think about the compassionate thoughts you've had. Maybe you watched a video in which someone needed help, or you saw something sad and your heart ached for that person. Perhaps you imagined yourself helping them.
Count each of these things using a higher unit of currency or, to keep it simple, use a dollar.
So, even if you can think of only one good quality, good deed, or genuinely compassionate thought, that's one dollar.
You have a dollar, and a dollar is worth much more than 10 or 20 cents.
The point is not to pretend that your insecurities don't exist. They may carry some weight, but they don't have to outweigh the good in you.
People pleasing -
We are all people pleasers in one way or another. So, give yourself a small challenge: allow one random person to dislike you.
Not by doing something cruel, bullying them, insulting them, or making fun of them. Instead, allow them to dislike you because you chose to stand up for yourself or for something you believe is right.
If someone asks you for a favor, say no when you genuinely don't want to do it especially when there are other people who could reasonably help them and you aren't their only option.
Call someone out for littering or abusive behavior, even if that person is your friend or colleague.
And when someone tries to silence you, don't automatically back down just to keep them happy. State your point clearly and stand by it.
You don't have to make everyone like you. Sometimes, being willing to disappoint someone is part of learning to respect yourself.
