r/OffGrid • u/AddisonMatson • 20h ago
Just so done with society
I cannot seem to get past how fucking done I am with like, everything.
I’m a married mom of two 5yr old kids, we live on what is currently a small hobby farm in north eastern Vermont, but we’d really like to have it become more of a functional, self-sustaining homestead.
I’m just so over capitalism and money ruling everything, constantly battling debt, life being all about just getting by when the reality is someday we all die and what did any of that crap matter anyway? All that actually matters is the experiences we have with those we love and the day-to-day of existence. I’m over life being ruled by what the rich have decided is important, over dictators and paying for food with credit cards because we don’t have the cash to spend $200+ a week to feed our family.
I’m so frustrated, this is mostly a rant because I don’t really have anyone in my life to talk to about how I’m feeling. I do have depression and anxiety and a laundry list of chronic health issues, though before anyone gets too concerned I am under the care of doctors for psychiatric stuff and I really like my psychiatrist. What I will say is that I have gotten to a point with the rat-race and the futility of being stuck in it that, if I didn’t have my kids and the joy that I experience raising them, I don’t think I would bother to be alive anymore. I don’t have close friends anymore, I don’t have a career that lights me up, the things I find the most joy in are my animals, my kids, and the piece that comes from being on my land. If I didn’t have my kids and I still had to spend most of my time and energy making money to barely scrape by I just don’t think I’d see a point in sticking around.
I don’t want to die, not really, but life in this society is just pointless. I hope I can take the steps I need to in order to get us more self-sustaining and more financially frugal.