1st post:

My parents divorced when I was 14 (I'm 25 now) because my dad cheated on her with someone who worked for him. My parents used to argue about him not giving my mom enough time, not putting her first, not respecting her as an equal . In some ways it was like a sickeningly logical culmination of their marriage. But for me until that point he was my hero. I was a total daddy's girl which is hilarious to think about now considering the last 11 years. He would take me everywhere, grocery runs, mechanic, NBA, movie night, pizza night, homework and test and exam help. It destroyed me when I found out. They split custody 50-50 and I was a massive b to him and later his new wife (the woman he cheated with). Lots of locked doors, calling out his wife, calling him out. I've maybe spoken like 20 sentences in totality to her two sons (my stepbrothers). When they had their son, I made sure to never let his wife think I was going to be like a loving older sister. With my dad though, he did kind of wear me down, and with him I did develop a kind of big sister bond with my half-brother. I used to argue with my mom about not wanting to go but she insisted I maintain decency with my dad at least.

When it was time for college, I was going to take student loans, because I didnt want to owe him. My mom said she'd saved money and I believed her. It was during my 3rd year, when he had offered to buy me a car and I told my mom hell no, while she tried to convince me to agree, that she told me he'd been majorly contributing to my tuition and sending her the money for it. I dont think I've ever had a worse argument with her. It fucked with my mind knowing he'd been doing it silently. He knew I wouldn't know, they had thought that while I was planning on taking student loans rather than his help initially, inertia would do its thing if I found out later. And they were right I did end up just taking it for the remainder of my ug without talking to him.

On Tuesday I went to the ER because I had slipped while putting birdfeed in my apartment. My mom is away at my aunt's so I had just called my best friend to come to the ER. Soon after, my dad came too, my mom had told him. I wanted to just go back but he insisted, we spent like 15 minutes arguing but I'm at his place now while my sprain recovers or until my mom comes back. My stepbrothers no longer live here but my half brother who's 9 now does. I haven't spoken to my dad's wife yet, he or my half-brother are the only ones I talk to, who come up to my room to bring stuff, while I work from home. We've talked after a long time about work, my plans for a Masters, and just random stuff.

I've just beem thinking now that he was my dad. Instead my stepbrothers got more of him the past decade than I did. I can't help but regret letting that happen. I also can't help but just think about the life we were robbed off because he cheated. Because my stepmother chose to wreck our home. And her and her sons got to be the family we were. I know my mom wants me to go to hers when she comes back on Saturday, and like that makes sense, but part of me wants to stay here. The fact that his wife probably is hoping I leave soon makes me want to stay too if that makes sense, like f off thats my dad, he pays for this house and its bills, I'm his daughter, I can stay since he wants. I don't even know if I need advice I just wanted to get this off my chest.

2nd post:

Thanks for letting me get my feelings off my chest in my post. I also appreciate everyone who DM'd me meaning well. I know you asked what I'm going to do one my mom returns and wanted me to make my choice for healthy reasons. I ignored a lot of those because I was conflicted then myself, and about my reasons. I wanted to give an update. Whether my reasons and my feelings are healthy or not, its how I'm going about it.

I just wanted to clarify a few things first:

1. I have never, even when I was rude to my dad and stepmom back then, ever shouted at or been cruel to my two stepbrothers. I hardly spoke to them. I used to ignore them, pretend they don't exist. They are like around 20 now I think and don't live in my dad's house.

2. I have absolutely no ill will towards my 9 year old half brother. I felt protective and caring about him when he was a baby and now too I like his company. I played games on Playstation with him because he asked, he's told me about school, he's also learned chess from my dad the way I did and we've bonded a bit over playing chess too.

My mom flew back yesterday. I had told her on the phone that I wanted to stay at my dad's while I recovered. She was disappointed and I hate that, I hated making her sad. I asked her to please understand, all these years she's wanted me to maintain a relationship with my dad , and right now I actually feel like doing it. I told her if I go to hers, I'll be extra work for her even if she doesn't think that, and I'd want to help out, here I'm not being a burden, like we have house help here, I'm not causing dad to over exert himself because of me. She asked if I'd be comfortable with my dad's wife there, I said I didnt care, he wants me to stay, I could care less what his wife thinks. My mom relented.

She came to check up on me. My dad came in the room too. We were just talking about my injury and he was making the case for why I should stay here. His wife decided to enter the room too for some reason and just stand there. I very calmly said that I'd just like my parents here right now. She said to please not tell her where to go in her house. I said my dads house who pays for every cent that runs this house. My dad tried to stop a fight and stepped out with her, and came back alone and my mom left soon after.

Last night when my dad came up to bring my dinner we talked about stuff. Then he said he was glad I chose to stay here. I told him I hated that mom was probably sad about it, but that I thought I'd like to spend time with him right now, that I hadn't in a long time. He thanked me. Later, he said that my comment rubbed his wife the wrong way, that if I was willing to clear the air with her, I'd probably feel more comfortable here. I told him I won't. That she shouldn't have been here when I was injured and just wanted my mom and dad in the room. I will never be ok with what he did, but I still want to spend time with him. Wanted to give my relationship with him and my half-brother a chance but it will never be with her. I want him and my half brother to be happy but I will never wish her well. That if he genuinely couldn't deal with that, I should call mom back and go with her. He just said lets forget about it and we talked about work and my applications.

Again, I read a lot of comments last time saying I need to work this out in therapy about how to forgive him and her. Why do I need to? I can have a relationship with my dad without forgiving him. And I have absolutely no interest in any kind of relationship with her, I can despise her in peace forever. I'm glad I have this place to get stuff out, and I appreciate everyone who was so understanding last time. Thank you.

Update:

I've been back at my apartment for four weeks now. I left my dads when I could walk normally. His wife and I didn't speak another word after that time in my room.

My dad and I have been meeting up since then on weekends, twice for breakfast, once at a cafe. My half-brother came once for the breakfast too. I told my dad, I'd like to have him again in my life and my brother too and he was glad to hear it. We normally talk about work and grad school and stories from his side of the family. He brought up a new car again and giving me a card but we've put a pin in it for now. For the most part we avoid talking about the past and what it did to us.

Last weekend when we met, during our conversation he apologized for the hurt he caused me and said if he knew it would have caused a rupture this long between us he'd have done things differently. I told him again I can't forget but I know I care about him regardless. But I cannot extend the same for his wife ever. I opened up to him when he asked and told him I feel visceral hate when I have to interact with his wife. That it screws me up, rightly or wrongly. That if I spend more than 5 minutes with her I will lose control of my tongue. That mom told me i was wrong for saying what I had said last time, that I was in many ways a reflection of her upbringing and I'd reflected poorly on her in front of his wife and him when I said that, I'd already gotten a lecture, but I can't help it I feel the urge to hurt her with my words when we interact. It's why I do not want any relationship with her it's for the best because whenever I'd see her while I was there, it's like my brain tries to come up with something ugly so the last 11 years of her happiness feel miniscule compared to the hurt she'll feel at my words. It's why I can't be around her.

He seemed ashamed of how all of it had affected me and said I don't need to force a relationship, he'll manage the balance.

But as I was saying it I was just so sad that she makes me be like this. I told him I had been looking at therapy (I hadn't really tbvh) to help me through this, and he said he'll support me in whatever way helps me. I told him his wife can never know, I don't care if its a slip of tongue or an accident, she finds out and him and I are done. He said he wouldn't ofcourse, and asked to pay for it. I accepted it because it is his fault I'm in this position after all.

I looked up a good therapist that particularly deals with family issues, and I've booked an appointment. I feel like I should but I also feel so defeated. She was the heartless sociopath who broke up a family and I'm the one needing my head checked out. Congrats to everyone who recommended it, you were right, you won.

Unfortunately, most of them are deceased, so I can't.

When I was a kid, my parents would frequently arrange dinners out with their friends and my sister and I would accompany them. We were well behaved girls, so no one ever complained, at least not within my earshot.

But I distinctly remember rolling my eyes during the discussions of where to go for dinner. So many people would say that they didn't want to go out for Chinese food because their ankles would pay for it the next day. Or if we went to a deli, people would push away the dishes of pickles. Seriously, unlimited pickles is the best part of a Jewish deli!

Like, I'm sorry you're so dehydrated that a little bit of extra salt will render you incapacitated tomorrow. Have you considered drinking some water?

Well, yesterday I had to go grocery shopping—I was out of cat food—and it was in the upper 90s with the heat index up to 110°F. (35°/43°C, for you folks with actual freedom.) Naturally, I was sweating buckets in. But since I went to the grocery store, I decided to reward myself with some potato chips.

Now admittedly, I had an accident last year and there are now pieces of metal and screws and such in my ankle and foot, but when I got up this morning, I literally could barely walk. After months of PT, I can actually walk over a block without even a cane, but I was thinking of busting out my Rollator because I could hardly put weight on my foot and had to shuffle to the bathroom, gripping onto every piece of furniture along the way for support.

Oh, your body changes when your middle-aged, huh?

Sorry, everyone. I had no clue until it happened to me.

I own a duplex. I have a mortgage on it. It is in a fast growing city.

One of my renter is a single mother of 4. I charge her $1200/month for a 3 bedroom unit with private garage and basement, her kids have a nice 24x30 deck and yard to play in. This rent covers most of the mortgage. My cashflow is great. I haven't had to raise it a goddamn penny in 5 years. I am not going to displace school children and make them face the chaos of changing schools.

Then I see these landlords who buy a house for above market rate, then rent it for a ridiculous amount. Long term renters will suddenly see a massive spike, and every chance these greed monsters get, they just raise the price and suck and suck more out of others.

It genuinely makes me sick.

Nearly every day I just sit and cry about the helplessness of them all. From marine life being over fished to foxes being hunted for fun and losing their homes. It’s overwhelming.

I’m over 40 with 19 years of experience in IT infrastructure and hospitality technology.
I’ve been unemployed for 8 months now, and my life is falling apart.

I have a family, a son whose tuition I can't pay, and severe health issues from constant stress that I can't afford to treat.

I kept praying, making dua, and asking Allah for a way out just to support my family. All I got was total silence. My faith is completely broken, and I feel utterly abandoned and hopeless. I don't know what to do anymore.

literally every family gathering someone makes a comment about my clock ticking or how ill change my mind. im 34, ive been saying this since i was 20. im not going to suddenly wake up and want to be a parent. and the weird thing is nobody actually listens when i explain why. they just wait for their turn to talk about their grandkids or whatever. like congrats but that doesnt mean i have to want the same thing

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18(F) here. It was my first time meeting up with a guy, and also my first time experiencing anything intimate with a guy. I guess you could call it a one night stand as they say, cause I don't even know his name or much about him. He asked for my name, but I didn't tell, and I didn't bother asking his either, even tho I wanted to know. He was nice in some ways, but still a major red flag.

The xes or the whole act was not even that good, and only he came. It really wasn't what I expected at all. Afterward, he admitted that he actually has a girlfriend, that he also talks to other girls, and that he had lied about the things he told me about himself. He also told me his gf knew he was with a girl, someone told her. Idk if it was me or others. Basically he was like a liar and a cheater, not even that good looking. I don't even know what or how to believe, feel, or react. I still can't believe it happened, even now.

One more thing that's giving me a lot of anxiety is the deed might result in something, even tho he pulled out. Hopefully not. I know I made a huge mistake, and I really regret it. I've learned my lesson and it was not worth it. Any thoughts or opinions?

hes already 66, yet he still acts like hes never gonna change. i used to think that when people get older, they would become more understanding or kinder bc they know theyre getting old. but apparently not. age doesnt automatically make someone a better person, and ive learned that the hard way.

am i a bad daughter for sometimes wishing my father would be de*d? bc honestly, i have so much trauma bc of him. not sexually, but verbally and emotionally. he would literally shame us in front of everyone, raise his voice at us, say the most hurtful shyt, and sometimes straight up be abusive. i genuinely couldnt imagine living under the same roof as him. being around him makes me feel like im constantly walking on eggshells, and i hate that i cant even feel at peace in my own home. even when im sleeping, i constantly wake up in the middle of the night bc i feel like hes calling me. bc if he calls you, you have to respond immediately. hes so fcking impatient all the time.

i went through all of this with my 7 siblings. since i was in grade 1, and now im already in college, ive had to work my ass off. i was jealous of my classmates bc all they had to do was study, while i had to study and deal with an evil father at the same time. i would sell vegetables and fruits in different cities, go to the farm, plant and take care of the crops, put fertilizer on them, water them, and do whatever needed to be done. i was literally carrying around 20kg of water every single day in fcking hot weather just to water the plants. we used to work from 5am to 5pm. i was a fcking child doing all that shyt. no wonder all that work affected my body 😭
and i genuinely dont understand why he couldnt fcking stand seeing us sit down even for a minute. the second he saw us resting, he wanted us to get up and do something. like we werent even fcking allowed to rest. i couldnt even begin to list all the trauma ive experienced bc of him, and its not just me. my siblings went through this shyt too.

my mom is such a down-to-earth and patient person, and sometimes i genuinely wonder how she managed to stay with someone like him for so long. hes not financially stable, hes extremely difficult to deal with, and he can be so fcking abusive, yet my mom still endured all of it.

i feel so fcking safe when im away from him. but whenever im home, it feels like hell. i cant stand being around him, hearing his voice, or even seeing his face sometimes. ive spent so many years dealing with this shyt that i honestly just want a life where i dont have to live with him, deal with him, or constantly be afraid of what hes gonna say or do next.

sometimes i feel guilty for feeling this way and wonder if that makes me a bad daughter. but after everything ive been through, i dont think im evil for wanting peace. i just want to finally get away from all this shyt and live a life where i actually feel safe, calm, and free. i always tell my mom that i would rather be ded if hes not going to d*e first.

My wife and I have been together for over 20 years. Last year she developed feelings for another woman, Kristin.

They met as nurses working together. Same night schedule, similar interests, and they quickly became close. I work days and don’t share many of those interests with my wife.

Around Father’s Day 2025, I knew something was developing. My wife told me, “My lips are still for you,” and “If you want me to stop, I’d want to cut it off sooner rather than later to keep our friendship intact.”

I didn’t ask her to stop. Instead, I tried to figure out whether there was a version of this that could work.
In August I wrote privately that my wife “having two relationships is a deal breaker,” but that if it became our relationship, I could potentially be okay with it.
So we explored a triad.

I created a relationship-agreement worksheet built around our marriage remaining primary, transparency around escalating feelings, boundaries around developing a separate relationship, and the ability to pause, renegotiate, or stop.

I remember saying, “With this triad agreement I feel safer.”
But I also eventually said, “I don’t feel like I can say no anymore.”

And I want to own my participation. I wasn’t simply an unwilling bystander. My wife and I fantasized about Kristin sexually. There were parts I enjoyed, and I genuinely tried to make the triad work.

In January we had another relationship meeting and discussed things like date nights and polyfidelity.
In February, my wife went on a cruise with Kristin and some girlfriends. She ended up sharing a room with Kristin and later described how they “slept very little” because they had so much sex and quality time together.

Then in March I realized my wife loved Kristin.
I told her, “I didn’t consent to you loving Kristin.”
Obviously I understand that I can’t control who another person loves. What I meant was that their relationship had become something deeper than what I thought I had agreed to.

Her diary afterward says:
“I’m crushed. I don’t know how to change my feeling, and I’m not sure they will ever change.”

At that point, there was no ambiguity that I wasn’t okay with what their relationship had become.
They separated for about a month.
Then my wife initiated intimacy with Kristin again.
Then she invited Kristin to bring her RV and live with us for the summer.
Now it’s September and my wife and Kristin are together on a month-long hunting trip.

Nobody knows they’re together. Our kids don’t know. My wife’s mother, who lives with us, doesn’t know. Everyone spent the summer talking about what a great “friend” Kristin is.

My wife has told me:
“She feels electric. I’ve never felt the way I do with her with anyone.”
And:
“Everything is just so much easier with her.”

Meanwhile, I’m trying to understand how I went from participating in an experiment with boundaries to tolerating a relationship I had explicitly said I couldn’t accept.

I know I agreed to explore this. I participated. I even enjoyed parts of it. I don’t want to rewrite that history just because we’re now in a bad place.
But does agreeing to explore non-monogamy mean consenting to whatever that relationship eventually becomes?

Once I explicitly said it had gone beyond what I agreed to, what should have happened?
Did I agree to this and then discover I couldn’t handle the reality—or did what I agreed to gradually become something fundamentally different.

WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL. One stupid inch is the difference between the average and me. One inch. I just want someone to see me as worthwhile. I want someone to wake up in the morning and smile because they look over and see me. I didn't say anything rude to her. I just said "I appreciate you being honest and I wish you the best." But internally I am so depressed. I would put so much effort into being a good boyfriend.

This probably sounds weird and random, but I recently started looking on reddit for a partner to roleplay with. I ended up finding someone with a similar sense of humor, same taste in media, and more. We were also a perfect fit. It should be said we were roleplaying with some NSFW elements involved. I could sense he was starting to feel things for me because he'd ask me sexual personal questions about how I was reacting to certain parts of our writing and more, and eventually asked me for a picture of myself. I am not comfortable showing pics of myself for multiple reasons. So I told him that. And then he told me he needed to verify I really am a woman, to which I asked him why he would need to do that. He kept pushing so I said (probably too aggressively) that I'm not his discord e-girl he needs to prove is real, we only write together nothing more nothing less, he already knows my first name, and I do not feel comfortable doing so. He then blocked me and left.

I do understand to a certain extent why he felt he needed to verify, but at the same time it was something I was upfront about with him from the beginning in saying that I wanted to be atleast slightly anonymous and that wouldn't be something that would change overtime. But I regret it. I really feel like we connected together in a creative way and I wish I just sent him the damn selfie.

The original post can't be linked but it's in my history.

The tltr of the og post is: I am a father of 5 fighting for custody. Mother took my 4th child and has tried starting trouble wherever she can regardless of who it affects. I'm scared of court and possibly losing my kids. She left while pregnant.

1 year later and most of the dust has settled. I just woke up to snuggles from my younger 2 kids. 1 is in a co-sleeper and the other comes in for morning snuggles. My older 3 are very happy and make comments about being a full family again.

I did it. I got primary custody. The trial was a train wreck that lasted 4 days. The kids mother had refused to show up to a court ordered oversight where someone watches how all of the kids interact with each parent. I believe it was because my 5th child has pending paternity testing forced on the mother. Spoiler, he was mine as it was obvious as her current partner she met while in her 2nd trimester. Yes he put his name on the birth certificate. No he will not receive any punishment.

The trial:

Day 1 she starts everything off by telling the court she doesn't want the older 3 children. Then the judge forces her to participate in another oversight meeting. This time all 5 kids must be present as DNA has come back. She was not happy. I met my almost 1yr old son then. The report was glowing for me and damning for her. It includes things like her letting the 1yr old fall off the couch beside her, her partner being who all of the kids preferred to interact with and the 1yr old getting stuck behind the pram crying for 4 minutes while the mum didn't notice and the reporter had to tell her.

Day 2 was my turn on the stand. Her lawyer tried to say I wasn't fit to be a parent due to my disability. The judge didn't like that. Her lawyer tried hard to trick me into admitting to being broken but it backfired on him repeatedly.

Day 3 was her turn on the stand. She made comments that all I do is game then made a Nintendo joke that had people looking at her like she said something stupid while she looked proud. She lost her temper and yelled at the judge just over an hour in and got caught lying so many times. One of the pieces of evidence that proves she was lying was provided by her. She rambled whenever she didn't want to answer a question and that was after pure silence for up to 2 minutes each time. It was bad.

Day 4 was the person who wrote the report and watched us with the kids. The kids mother's lawyer tried to get her to admit I was broken due to my disability. He got a 30 minute lecture from her. The lawyer tried to get the judge involved but the judge told him to shut up and let her answer him. So he sat there like a kicked puppy for that 30 minutes. He did NOT get the message and tried again a few more times and when the overseer made it clear she would lecture him again he would drop it.

The end result:

I got primary care of all 5 kids. I got medical authority and the mother gets every second weekend. She has cancelled the last 3 which my eldest loudly celebrated each time.

Other things to note is her partner has become more aggressive and even yelled and threatened to kill me. Cops still don't care. It was in front of the kids sadly. The kids mother has given birth to baby #6 (not mine). Also during the time she was told she had to give me so my 5th child could get to know me she cancelled over and over and I saw him maybe 30% of the ordered time. She even brought her partners mother (I think) and I watched them.gight because the partners mother refused to stop another child from saying hello to me.

A big thing that happened that needs its own paragraph is the baby #5 name. During the trial it was agreed to change his last name to the same as the other 4. The mother had given him 2 middle names. The first is her current partner which the courts overruled the mother and it is being removed and the second was a doozy that had the judge jaw on the ground and the whole room in shock. The second middle name was named after a miscarriage the mother had. It was about 8 weeks in and part of her grieving was to name it and make a memory box. Well she gave my son that middle name. I don't mind it but don't like it's origins. I'm now waiting for the name change to process and the birth certificate.

TLTR: court is over, I have primary care of all 5 kids. Mother did messed up stuff all across the board and the kids are happy.

Edit

A quick edit I feel bad for missing. Thank you to the 1 person who reached out and who I've been speaking to since my first post.

Three weeks ago, I tried to end my life. I injected myself with lidocaine that I had brought home from work. I became toxic, but didn’t make it over the edge.
I was hospitalized for 18 days. Toward the end of my admission, a male nurse told me he had read through my old charts out of curiosity and brought up the childhood sexual abuse I experienced at the hands of a social worker. He asked me to tell him more about it and wanted to know details. It was something I had already spent years trying to heal from through trauma therapy, including EMDR and ketamine treatment. Despite telling him that I wasn’t interested in going there at this time, he continued to pry into my historical trauma and stressors.
I left the hospital against medical advice after that interaction. Since then, my trauma symptoms have come roaring back. I’m having intrusive memories and nightmares. I feel dirty, hurt, gross, sad and anxious. I already have many current stressors, but now this has pushed its way to the forefront of everything again.
It feels like I’m back at square one after years of work. The worst part is that I no longer feel safe anywhere except inside my own home. I’m falling back on unhealthy coping mechanisms because right now, they feel like the only things I have.. and the only things I can control. I know they aren’t helping me heal, but at the moment, I don’t know what else to reach for.
Eventually, I will have to find a way through this because that hospital is also my workplace.. and I genuinely love my job. Right now, though, I don’t know how I’m supposed to return to a place that has become tied to so much fear, shame and pain.
I’m alive, but surviving has left me with a different kind of battle than I expected.

I’m so burned out from hearing people say, “Whatever happens, they’re still your parents,” every time someone talks about having a bad relationship with their mom or dad.

Being my parents doesn’t automatically erase the way they’ve treated me. They’ve been harsh with me, manipulated me, taken advantage of my kindness, and somehow still managed to make me feel like I’m the horrible daughter whenever I try to stand up for myself. What hurts the most is that people who don’t live with it make me feel guilty for being angry. They tell me I should understand my parents, forgive them, respect them, or remember everything they’ve done for me. Meanwhile nobody seems interested in asking what they’ve done to make their own child feel this exhausted around them.

I’m tired of being expected to tolerate bad treatment just because we share blood. Being someone’s parent should mean something too. It shouldn’t be a permanent excuse to treat your child however you want and still demand love and respect afterward.

i’ll never go on testosterone, i’ll never get surgeries, i’ll never deepen my voice, i don’t think i’ll have short hair, i like dressing femininely, and i’m a young man despite what everyone tells me 😇 i’m a boy named howard, and i don’t need to change myself to meet other peoples standards about what that means. i’ll grow up to be a nice young man teaching kindergarten, and everyone is just going to have to deal with it i guess.

Sorry for the format I’m on mobile, typing this in Notes.

As I continue to sit and try to unpack why it is that I’ve made it to almost 37 with no clear goals ambitions, I also realised something else I think contributes to that: every man around me told me that the key to success is just mooch off a successful woman.

My dad was a truck driver who dropped out of high school. My mom a lawyer. During one of his many “you’re never gonna be shit” rants, he told me I should drop out of high school like he did and drive trucks because “it worked for him”. Yeah, because he met, married, and abused my mom. He verbatim told me to do the same thing not soon after, leaving out the abuse part, “find a woman like your mother, it worked for me”. Mind you this was after fifteen years of physical, verbal, and sexual abuse and the realisation that for various reasons, even if she moved out, divorced, whatever, she’d never stop loving him. Sure enough she did until she passed. So in his mind, he won.

My mothers next boyfriend more or less said the same thing, cryptically telling 22, fresh-out-of-the-Army me to find a nice woman with talents and assets that I can use to my advantage. He was currently doing that with my mother. He had a free lawyer in his pocket and they both knew it, she was just madly in love with him. So much that she didn’t even object to what he said. She later recanted a few years later to a point but then…

…a few years later, after she’d relapsed and gotten sober again, told me to do the same thing herself. Her logic was that humans are no better than animals, we can just talk and use tools. Therefore, the world is one big jungle, and I should follow The Law Of The Jungle. Following her logic, she had a son, a lion. A lion needs to kill to eat and survive. If it stops and cares about the feelings of the wildebeest, it starves. Therefore I need to be a man and “kill” (metaphorically) a woman so that I can “eat”. She even said that since lions go after the weak and the sick, I need to find the loneliest, most broken, most “heart too big for her own good” - and therefore, “weak” - woman I can find. Bonus points if she’s also obese.
But she also didn’t want me with any other woman but her, and was viciously opposed to me dating.

I heard it dozens of times from dozens of men, age 40-60+: “marry some money”, “getchu a chick with a degree”, “just get you one with a car and a job and be sweet on her”. More overt ones went a step further told me to impregnate her to give me leverage in getting back with her when (not if) she kicks me out, “I’m just trying to be there for my son/daughter!” Otherwise, let her do all the work with her big girl job, I should get some minimum wage job just to shut her up (if she complains, otherwise, remain unemployed) and do whatever I want. And cheat. Always cheat.

Mind you, none of these men were ever happy, in fact they hated their partners and their partners weren’t too fond of them either. I guess the end goal is to stick with her long enough to where she’s too old and tired to start over so she just tolerates you with clenched teeth.

Anyway I never did that because I believe marriage should mean something and if you wanna play the “real man” game - something I never much cared for - you can’t be a real man when your goal for success in life is to capture a successful woman like a Pokémon and con/manipulate/abuse her into giving you everything she worked for while you do nothing (but cheat). But I don’t know what to do with the fact that literal hundreds of men (and not a few women) told me to do that.

I just wanted to share. It’s actually do heart breaking unpacking why I never had anyone encourage me to go to college, learn a trade, anything that would’ve made me a career by now. First because my parents didn’t think I’d live long enough for that to matter, and second because I should be trying to steal the rewards from a woman instead.

(im posting this for my friend because he doesn’t use Reddit)

I (17M) have a best friend X (17M), and we're both in a state of higher education, and preparing for our exams. We met on the first day of school (which was over 6 months ago) and we have been best friends ever since. We talk to each other almost everyday, calling each other at night for hours on end, in the daytime during classes. We even used to study together. I have known I was ace for a long time (or whatever | consider to be ace, cos I don't know myself) and he is also ace.

We both are extroverts, and we love people, like making other people happy, spreading joy and everything is a part of who we are, and also why we bond so well together. We like people for people and their personalities, just that we don't like the idea of sexual intimacy. Both of us fall in love quite easily, and it doesn't help that we are both in love with each other. I do love him, I truly do. He is the greatest friend, and the best person I could ever ask for. We've even slept together (in a non-sexual way), and truly, I love him, and he loves me so much.

It's just that, we can't afford to be gay. Our parents won't allow.

Unfortunately, him and I live in a society that still views homosexuality and the like as unnatural, and we both know that. We also know that since we fall in love very very easily, we should just get girlfriends to be a bit more "appropriate" for lack of a better word.

Even in the duration that we've been friends, he's had a crush on 1 or 2 girls and I've had a crush on 3. We talk to each other about them, its just that, it's not reciprocated or anything so we only have each other, and the more tightly we hold each other, the more we just, don't wanna let go. I really really really want to love someone, and he does too, we just want people to be a little bit happier by our existence, and we try.

Idk why I'm really writing this bcs my friend (other friend) kinda js said it's supposed to be a reddit post so here i am writing a long essay with no clear end goal or advice to be sought, other than

1. Clarity on our sexuality
2. wtf are we
3. next steps, like do we pursue girls, or do we just face the consequences and love each other

A little backstory. I (26M) was a senior in high school who had a class with this girl who i had a little crush on. I was in an unhealthy relationship at the time, which she knew about. All we did was laugh and joke in a class that we had together. Her humor, pretty smile, beautiful brown eyes, and her gorgeous skin is was drew my attention. She was out of my league for sure, but thats beside the point lol.

7 years later, on September 4, 2026... We locked eyes on a random night at a latin dance bar. The feeling was so surreal i was shocked as she did a light jog towards me, yelling my name. "Is that [my name]???" I have no idea what I said after that lol, i was still in disbelief. I thought I'd never see this woman again. She kept insisting i took her number down so we could talk later and hang out. So, of course I took her phone number. She also noted that I looked good, which is crazy because i thought i'd never hear her say that to me. She also said "i love you [my name]" a couple of times. I didn't know how to respond to that, so i just smiled and chuckled.

Tomorrow we have a spontaneous day planned. Just us and where ever the day takes us. This is so surreal to me.. after 7 years she still has that look, smile, and laugh. If you guys have any spontaneous date ideas, please let me know. Texas is where i reside. (Note: I never told her that I liked her, so im planning on telling her tomorrow.) I will update you guys if you care for one.

Almost 5 years ago my boyfriend(fake name Sam) died. He struggled with his mental health since he watched his mom die from cancer. Unfortunately it never got better and he unalived himself. I spiraled and thought that that was it for me. I thought my life was over to a point. I was so depressed, not eating, and barely getting out of the house. But at the end of the day I still had our child who needed me. I love our child deeply, with my whole heart, and I would never abandon them. Something had to be done though.

Despite my friends and family rallying around me, what helped me the most during that time was a comment left by a redditor, detailing what it was like for them to be in my fiance's position. I read that comment multiple times a day after I first posted about it. I even kept a screenshot in case I lost it. It kind of broke something in me but at the same time felt like I was put back together with glue and gold paint. My scars are still there but I'm no longer leaking.

I focused on myself and being the best mom I could be to our kiddo. I went through a lot of therapy and really leaned on my village. Through that village I met someone we will call John. He is kind, patient, incredibly understanding and he loves me more than I've honestly felt in a very long time. For me the best part, it's like he and my kiddo were made for each other like they were meant to be parent and child. He's way better with kiddo than even I am sometimes and they love each other so much. He would do anything to protect us. He makes me want to be better in every aspect of life. I feel so safe and loved with John.

John and I are getting married at the end of the month!

I can't explain properly the feelings I have, like everything feels right, it feels so comfortable and calm, like I am where I am supposed to be. I'm just so happy with my life right now. I feel like I need to shout it from the mountain tops, so I came to reddit instead.

Thank you, kind strangers, who gave me support and advice during the darkest time in my life. Thank you for giving me the encouragement and clarity I needed to be able to move forward with my life when everything felt over.

f (25) i dont know how to be like an adult because no one taught me to be one… although i am aware about my surroundings. i dont know if this is something to do with my childhood, or how my dad treated me. i cant go to therapy because it is expensive here in my country.

i get jealous when i see people like my age, can do whatever they want, and i’m just here at home struggling to get out of my bed or house… its sucks because i always feel like a burden to everyone.

My bday always were lonely cuz never had actual friends , or cousins / aunts / uncles that cared. Apart from parents and siblings .. I never had a surprise party or gifts or wishing cards. Kinda hurts. I mean im used to no texting or having no friends or nice wishes or symbolic gifts. But now in my 30s it kinda hit me bad. Sorry just wanted to let it off my chest.

edit : thank you all so much i wish i knew all of you in real and invite you to a huge table full of yummy foods and we eat and play board games!

I work as an instructor at a workshop (not gonna disclose what kind) and recently my boss told us that we’re gonna work with influencers in a session. The session that they booked was at 3:30pm and guess what…. They arrived late, not just 10-15mins late but a whole hour and a half late. Mind you sessions are only for 2 hours and the next one is packed, we don’t have anywhere to put them after. We did explain that to them BUT OMFG THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY “oh i have 15k followers on instagram, are you sure you can’t have us stay for a bit longer?” Thank goodness my manager was firm and said no. I JUST HATE HOW ENTITLED THEY ARE AND HOW THEY THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM. They can’t even respect other people’s time, idfc if they have sh*t ton of followers, all im asking for is basic human decency.